Zach Patterson Jr

Could the Obama cutouts become a wildfire hazard?

What would you do if your wife fell in love with the Obama cutouts?

And how would you react if someone sent rats carrying love letters into the dungeon in order to seduce your wife?

Hello anonymous!

Thank you for your ask!

I will proceed to answer your questions to the best of my ability.

1.) Us at FreeCo guarantee that the Obama cutouts were made using the most cutting edge technology, and the most somewhat non flammable material available.

2.) Rest assured that my wife will not harbor romantic feelings for the Barack Obama cutouts, as that would make our marriage abnormal.

Hello Anonymous.

You will make our marriage abnormal. As such, I will not let you speak to my wife as I would like to maintain our normal marriage.

Regards,

Hello anonymous!

Thank you for the ask.

My wife has never worked at FreeCo or at any of our subsidiaries. Before becoming a full time homemaker, my wife was a driver for the F series.

Regards,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your time.

Here at FreeCo, we wanted to choose a figure for the endless fields project who exemplifies our commitment to growth and community. In order to find the most suitable match, I took initiative as FreeCo’s CEO to use the most groundbreaking and innovative technique possible to achieve these results. Thus, I proceeded to lock myself in a pitch black windowless room until I reached a state of “high psychological distress”. It was then when the answer was made clear to me: “Barack Obama”, was the name whispered to me in the back of my mind. It’s not just an idea with risk, it’s an experience that connects the human mind with achieving the financial and community goals of FreeCo LDT.

Thank you,

👁👁

Hello anonymous.

I will not let you talk to my wife. I will lock my wife in the dungeon until no one except for me ever wants to speak with her again.

Regards,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your ask!

I hope that one day you will see the benefits to the endless fields of Obama, as many of your fellow Wyoming residents have. Company representatives have examined that over half of Wyoming residents who have visited the endless fields of Obama have experienced a significant positive life altering experience. Many were even moved to tears.

Regards,

Hello London!

I assume you mean you and Steviea.

I am tired of your tomfoolery. There will be no more mister nice guy from me. Please leave me and my normal marriage alone or you will be taught a lesson.

Thank you,

Hello Steviea,

Please do not compare yourself or my wife to Joe Biden. Any talk of Joe Biden has been banned by HR following a companywide incident on 09/13/23.

Regards,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your time.

I am not “DL” of any sort, as I dedicate most of my free time to managing the various assets of FreeCo.

As I have said, my marriage with my wife is a very average one and I request you do not pry into it further.

Regards,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your ask!

I have posted about the project on my blog before, and as such, here is the descriptor quoted verbatim:

“In 2014 I bought out over 100 acres of Wyoming farmland, with zero investment in any sort of seeds or proper farming equipment. “

…..

“Over the past decade we have done something truly incredible. We have filled the entire area with life sized cardboard cutouts of former president Barack Obama.”

For further information regarding our overall mission statement and quarterly goals please see the ‘endless obama fields’ tag.

Thank you,

Hi Anonymous!

Hope you are doing well

Please be advised that what we are doing is in no way a “gimmick”. As I have clarified, the Endless Fields of Obama are part of a brand new revolutionary concept called “advanced advertising”. As for our company mission statement, my pinned should say enough as to what we do.

Thank you for your time,

Hello Steviea!

My wife and I have a very normal relationship.

Thank you,

Hello London!

Why does everyone keep asking about my wife.

Regards,

you seem like you're both alpha males

Hello Anonymous!

I haven’t heard about his guy! I took a peek. Truly a fellow entrepreneurial spirit! He seems to have a very good marriage. I looked through his and his partner’s whole tag.

Thank you,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your ask!

While this is impossible with our current technology, I have always fantasized about personally giving birth to the FreeCo heir. I hope that through the pheromones released during childbirth, I will be able to chemically bond with my offspring. It’s not a “strange quirk”, it’s a bona-fide pragmatic strategy to ensure a good relationship with my future kin and ceo of FreeCo.

Thank you for your time,

Hello Anonymous!

Thank you for your ask!

Data from the Wyoming board of tourism has shown that tourism to the state has increased over 23.31% since the creation of the endless fields of Barack Obama. We believe that our companies project has reaped benefits for both us, as well as the state of Wyoming. We are looking to expand the project by putting an Obama cutout at every peak of the Grand Tetons that reaches at or over 9,000 feet above sea level.

Thanks for your time,