Where's Zach

Sleepy because of barbs but the day must go on. At 10 am, Connor and I are set to throw out the 'final pitch' for the Amsterdam little league spring season in honor of AV. The turnout was underwhelming but Tom’s care and emotion made it worth it. At the event, we ran into three of TV’s friends.

We then had an impromptu lunch at cappies after a quick pit stop at the Schwartz’ residence. With CV by my side, we picked up R, and said hello to Lola, Nugget, Colleen and Chuck. After lunch, me and R went back to county ridge to spend the day there until our concert at 7. At the Schwartz' house, we talked to chuck for a good amount of time about masculinity, Amsterdam, and his backstory.

Once the parents left, I went for a labor intensive swim in their pool, indulged in some dairy frost ice-cream (strawberry) and then got ready for the show. 😎

What show you may ask? A Pink Floyd cover band I saw at the same location with the same man, Dan the man. Also there was Seth, Josh, and Andrew. R and I mostly hung out with Joshua throughout the show, talking about movies a bunch. We then lost josh after getting some mozz sticks, so we went on a walk to the wild side finding a homeless person along the way. After politely turning down Dan’s invite to shoot a 22s and put back beers, R stayed the night for the first time ever (wow). It was a peaceful night besides SV nearly giving us both a heart attack with a feverish knock on the door at 1:30AM.

Also I guess this is the day I made the Schwartz flag lol (attached)

7/16/23

Day started at the Ugly Rooster. My fit was atrocious, and Connor got a new wallet. Connor told us about his worldly travels including his conversations with Native Americans, and his Uber driver whose daughter got murdered by the Taliban. After a brief reprieve at the Lofts where we discussed the Gadson flag and the boygenius concert, we headed out to Cookies and Cream ice cream where Connor insisted we play horse on the wet-ass, humid courts, while every one else dined on their sweet treats. We discussed Barbenheimer, future family functions, and while I pleaded to go to the hat store, no one else budged.

At home, R and I made our way to McDonalds because after watching a guy nearly kill himself trying to consume 10 McChickens in 10 minutes, I had built up the appetite for one. At McDonalds I had discovered you can get a 40 piece these days for under $15. Nonetheless, the McChicken was too good for $1.85 and I wanted another one. To my better knowledge, I abstained from any more McDonald’s and instead settled down to watch a movie with R. Tonight, her choice was Fateful Findings by Neil Breen. I’ll let my Letterboxd review do the talking for that. We then somehow got into the SW rabbit hole and ended up critiquing the sequel trilogy for an hour. All I gotta say is they did Finn so dirty 😞

7/21/23

It's Oppie-Barbz Day! I could barely work due to my pent up excitement for Oppenheimer as I counted down the minutes until 4:00. I was so excited, I got worried my car was going to break down. My car did NOT break down and I met up with my scheduled date (RKS). A little bit to our surprise, we had actually signed up for a double date with the cuties next door :) Josh/Torin had already seen Barbie at 10 with nothing but glowing reviews for the hyperextended Ryan Gosling fan cam, but now it was game time. Reagan and I got dressed up for the occasion, but J and T couldn't commit to the bit.

MOVIE REVIEW TIME Oppenheimer: Good

Even though me and R were blown away with the Nolan flic, Torin defiantly stated that the Barbie movie was superior (despite sleeping through the first 30 mins of Oppenheimer). It gave us even more excitement for the Margot Robbie foot film.

To pre-game, R and I had dinner at the Taproom - not before a little walk around the armory talking about Nolan movies. At dinner I was scammed on a grilled cheese, R got her classic mushroom burger, and the fries were excessively – no, ridiculously – salty **YUCK**. Afterwards, we went for Ice cream (Kilwins vanilla for me, cake batter for R) and watched local band New American Cuisine play some songs in front of Ben and Jerry's (those no good lying hippies - we get into that further w/ Chuck).

BARB TIME BARB TIME BARB TIME! The crowd was wild, the girls were slaying, and watching the movie was so fun because of the people – vox populi.

MOVIE REVIEW TIME Barbie: Good, but not Oppie good (Sorry T).

With the double feature wrapped up, and the clock past midnight, I was ready for bed. But not before some final Barbie tunes in the car with R :)

I almost crashed my car on the ride home because I nearly missed a turn because I was sooooo sleepy.

7/8/23

When you see a neon paper advertisement at your local ice cream store, you heed it's wisdom. This particular paper had been telling me for years to make my way to the Landis Arboretum and I finally listened, dragging Reagan with me.

First and foremost, and what we came to the arboretum for, was a visit to the barn book sale. This was the only thing we truly planned for today, leading us to some serious swag (art-magazine for me and the golden retriever bible for R). Funny enough, we found out that an arboretum has much more to offer than old dusty ass books stuffed in a barn. With our tour merch in hand, we decided to walk the venue heading from the upstate NY version of Stonehenge to the main meeting house with its unmatched views of the countryside. After a brief encounter with a very good boy and its struggling owner, our day at the arboretum was done (too hot to hike), however we weren't ready to go home.

What's there to do in Schoharie county? I'm genuinely asking b/c that was the dilemma we were faced with. After a 15 second ride through the downtown of Esperance, I saw we were in striking distance of a covered bridge (epic JF reference) so I figured that would be cool to visit. What I didn't know was the covered bridge was one of the focal points of the Lily Park and home to the July 8th LILY FESTIVAL. Unbeknownst to us, we had stumbled upon one of Schoharie's finest summer events, drawing in what seemed to be the entirety of the county. After, frolicking through the flowers and countless vendors, we found ourselves hungry for more of the culture. Luckily for us we had passed both a vegetable and fruit themed store on the way to the bridge.

Only by sheer distance to the park did we go to the carrot barn first - sadly not as many carrots as expected. What it did have was a multitude of carrot and carrot related products and merch as well as the makings of your typical farmer's market. I indulged in two carrot cookies and a carrot muffin, but again, no signs of any major carrot infrastructure. As our consolation prize, and for lunch, we made way to the Apple Barrel Cafe and Store. My minor hyper-fixation of carrots had pivoted to apples and to our luck, the menu was fruitful with apple themed dishes.

***Returning to finish this 8/20***

After ransacking the barn, we decided to get a feel for the country living that is Schoharie county. This included the local baseball field in lily park with one of the best outfield views I've seen, a drive through of Schoharie City's downtown (foreshadowing) a brief stop in Middleburgh (where I hope to return one day to see the Blenheim bridge), and then an impromptu visit to upstate NY's dullest college town, Cobleskill (Sorry not sorry).

Following an uneventful tour of the tiny-banner, beige buildings, campus conveniently located 3 minutes from a farmer's tool shopping center, we decided to head home with one final stop on our list, ICE CREAM! Seen on our way down, we decided to revisit the dairy carnival. (passed it on our way down) Do you want generic ice cream and generic fried goods, at a generic atmosphere all with a drive thru? well you're in luck my friend, I know exactly where to go. But honestly, this place seemed pulled straight out of Grand Theft Auto with it's lack of anything unique or distinctive. I highly recommend everyone goes for the soul churning experience w/ bonus points for actually going through the drive-thru. We capped this expereince off with a lil film/photo sess and then made our way back to mi casa.

Following "downstate trips" include potential visits to Hudson, NY and the Long-Pond Studios.

20 cartwheels (left)

20 cartwheels (right)

3 laps breaststroke

3 laps freestyle

100 push-ups

1 minute of crawling on all fours

7/7/23

For what feels the entire summer, I have had one goal - to swim. That's why on my day off, I wasn't going to let anyone stop me. Not even done with my morning cup of Joe, I was setting up shop on the pool deck ready to take in all the UV rays I could. After about an hour, a play-through of Light of Worlds by Kool & the Gang, and one whirlpool, the day could now begin. With thunderstorms looming, I planned my next move - the beach.

Specifically, the now "closed" Broadalbin beach which I recently stopped by with Reagan on the 4th where we made this banger. Today, was not for any memes, I needed to swim. My first choice was my mother who politely turned me down :( but she did suggest I ask the goons who I've been with for all of the two days prior. Not sure why that wasn't my first thought. Like a soldier ready to go war, josh was in immediately and Torin eventually tagged along as well.

From there on, it was your standard day at the beach aside from myself being the only one who actually swam. It brought back memories of 2019 when Josh and I went on vacation together with my family Cape May. The opportunity to do something like that again intrigues both of us, with Josh telling me that trip was one of his favorites.

The summer fun came to when thunderstorms came rolling in, but the day was not over. We regrouped at Cappie's, meeting up with Seth, Dixie, and John. I thought for anyone in Amsterdam, Cappie's was a ritualistic pilgrimage, but to my surprise this was Josh and Seth's first time there in over 5 years for each. To champion the day and this historic moment, we feasted. Seth embodied this spirit with a double cheeseburger, a chicken dinner, and a freak shake. For those wondering what a freak shake is, it is your normal milkshake turned up to ten with a brownie on a stick shoved down the middle of it.

Seth cleared it in t-minus 5 minutes.

*picture attached is from the 2019 trip referenced

7/6/23

How better to follow up a day full of making TikToks then concentrating all that energy into 1.5 hours and ramping the energy up to 10. With 100+ likes on our last video, we knew we had to sellout to the algorithm to make the next step in our chase for TikTok stardom. How better to do this than subject ourselves to the purple fat fuck himself.

Tonight, we had the same crew as yesterday with the key addition of Torin. He was the one who spearheaded tonight's venture, ready to do what he must for the meme (and oh was he ready). Our night started a little after 8, with our first stop being, of course, Mickey D's. To our surprise and demise, the grimace shakes had sold out, but we were fortunate enough to walk out with his birthday cup.

Lucky for us, our local Stewart's boy, Torin, had let us known that his place of worship - I mean work - offers a grimace lookalike. Now on our third attempt - yes we had to go to two Stewie's - we secured the blood of the christ.

The original plan was of my own and including a simple grimace takedown on an eerie trail, but Josh had other plans. Like a bird longing to return to the nest, Josh had convinced us to film at the clocktower. Normally, the clocktower would be a troublesome spot to film at because it's private property. But, when you know it's sole resident, doors begin to open both literally and figuratively.

Here we met, sir Cornelius of the clocktower.

For Reagan and myself, we had never met Cornelius, but we soon found out that he lives on the third floor with exclusive access to all six. Lucky for us, a film crew just wrapped up shooting on the sixth floor. What was there? Who knew? What were they filming? No idea! But, my god, after an elevator ride certain to evoke feelings of claustrophobia, we made our way through the padlocked door via the keys of the Corn. What laid ahead felt like imminent doom, AKA the perfect GrimTok setting.

We made our way to down the long dark corridors to the back of the sixth floor to be greeted with an empty room with no lights and a single dental chair. I could detail the events of the next hour, but I think our TikTok sums up how this story ends better than I ever could.

7/5/23

In what was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill wing night - too much chicken, never enough sports talk, and a tummy ache for the ride home - myself, Josh, and Reagan came in touch with our spiritual side.

That is far too dramatic as to what actually happened. I picked up Josh and told him I was going to bum some wings off him b/c I didn't want much, and to my surprise, he let me know that he too wasn't hungry either. Already on the road and heading towards Reagan's house (who we knew was already out for wings) we had to make a choice. We could either,

A. Force ourselves to eat wings and socialize

B. Reject tradition, and embark on a journey not knowing where it would take us.

In the driver's seat, I ultimately pressed forward, past Recovery and towards the great unknown (also known as South 30).

After, some back and forth, we had found ourselves heading towards the Auriesville Shrine. And when Josh said he had never been, we had to go. Thus, God had overtaken chicken as our primary focus. At the shrine, we had taken an interest in the Buddhist temple that lays adjacent and tried our very best to get in. Unfortunately, we had arrived outside of business hours and mass is on Saturdays at 6:30am. Defeated, the three of us turned to where we could go –including the bug-filled ravine and the potentially haunted gift shop. With no where else to go via car, and an unspoken agreement not to get out on foot again, we made way to the south-side staple, Karen's.

It was at Karen's, Josh revealed he'd gotten wings 4 hours earlier, giving reason to why he wasn't hungry when I picked him up (what a goon). After much debate between the lil blue panda and sugar cookie flavors, I settled on the sugar cookie ice cream milkshake. If that sounds like too much, you are correct. Somehow, the great pioneers at Hershey's ice cream had found a way to combine the sweetest ice cream I've ever tasted with artificially sweetened frosting and sprinkles. Put it all together in a milkshake and I couldn't get through a quarter of it. Josh and Reagan both confirmed my assessment of the shake, but ultimately it made its way to Dixie (a little over 4 hours later) who was the first to enjoy it (Kumbaya!). Afterwards, we explored and discussed the varying jams, spreads, and ice cream cookies available at Karen's before moving on to our next stop.

As the driver, this is where I could've went home and called it a night. However, my brain insisted we go to the nearby Schoharie Crossing (nowhere close to Schoharie itself). In another feat of astonishment, Josh had let us known he had never been here either. I love the crossing and was ecstatic to introduce it to Josh. While there, we made some TikToks detailing my love of the hidden park, and called it a day. Until, I got behind the wheel once more and figured one more stop wouldn't hurt.

Sam P., the newest resident of Tribes Hill and five minutes away from the Crossing had spoke of a stowed away basketball court by the water he had wanted to visit. We never made our way there due to a lack of a basketball. But now, I came prepared. With a basketball in the trunk and a desire to go anywhere else but home, I had made it my final goal to find these courts. Just as all hope was lost and I had settled on returning to home base, we found it. Once there, we decided one TikTok was not enough, and engaged in some true tom foolery.

Sweaty, spirited, and satiated, I finally brought the car home, and prepared to do it all again with Torin tomorrow.