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Summary: When you woke up Ben on Christmas morning, he surely expected a different surprise than the one he ended up getting.
🕰️ Part of the TAT universe. Read the full series here: Time After Time
Warnings: 18+ for language, a pinch of spice, some angst and slight emotional trauma, Puck is back and at it again, fluff
Word Count: 3.8k
Posted on Patreon Apr 11, 2026
A/N: Man, I've been dyyying to share this little surprise for close to a year now! This is a MUST READ for all you TAT lovers out there, btw. Happy Mother's Day to my fellow moms but especially to Ben's mom! We are the real heroes here 😉💐
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Ben was dead asleep when you climbed onto him.
Dawn had barely touched the windows, Paris still half-blue and quiet under holiday fog. All he could feel was the delicious weight on his hips. The drag of your thighs sliding over him. The soft and teasing press of your lips against the warm line of his shoulder. You kissed him once, twice, three times – enough to drag a groan out of him.
“Mmm, sweetheart…” His voice was gravelly and sleep-thick as his large hands found your thighs, roaming over taut skin. He shifted under you, trying to roll his hips up as your hot breath traced his jaw. “If this is how Christmas starts, I’m already havin’ a great fuckin’ mornin’.”
Jesus fucking Christ, you were warm. Warm and straddling him. And kissing him awake. Ben didn’t need to open his eyes to know where this was fucking going. It was like waking up inside a porno. He loved when you were an insatiable little minx, never getting fucking enough of him.
“Ben,” you laughed softly against his skin when his massive hand slipped under your shirt and wandered up your spine. Your back arched in response, your cunt grinding right against the rising bulge in his sweats.
“Yeah, doll, c’mere,” he murmured and pulled you closer with his calloused palms sprawled across the perky globes of your ass.
“Happy Christmas morning, baby,” you said, claiming his lips, slow and coaxing. Then you pulled back before he could chase you.
He blinked up at you, confused and rock-hard, green eyes barely cracked open against the soft light. “That’s what I’m tryin’ to make it.”
You bit back a smile. “I have a surprise.”
“Oh, I know.” He smirked, wiggling his brows. “I can feel it drippin’ through your shorts, baby.”
“Not that kind of surprise.” You snorted and swatted his chest. Then you slipped off him in a quick and goddamn maddening slide of warmth before he could grab you. “Get up.”
Ben only stared at you like you’d just spoken fucking Russian. “Wait–… what? The fuck–… Then why the hell were you–”
“Ben, please. Come on.” You pouted and tugged on his hand.
Ah, shit.
The fucking pout always got him. It was the one fucking thing he could never say no to. Ben thought it was probably because you conditioned him on it like a trained dog. He couldn’t prove it, but he knew that was what happened. Every time you would beg to blow him over the last years, you’d pull out that pout, and now that stupid thing worked in other contexts as well.
Ben knew you were smart enough to do that shit on purpose. That was probably why men used to date women stupider than them. Dumb chicks didn’t pull one over on you. Those men didn’t have to watch their fucking backs like he had to these days.
But God, he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t like the fucking thrill of it.
He groaned into the mattress, mostly for show so you wouldn’t get any ideas to make this a regular thing, then dragged a hand down his face, and rolled out of bed. In the end, he grumbled but followed like he always did, barefoot and shirtless.
And you? You were practically vibrating and grinning as you tugged him down the hallway to the living room, all the while he muttered about fucking mixed signals.
His brows pinched as you stopped right in front of the closed French double doors, mostly because they were usually never shut. You spun to face him with a deep intake of air, letting it pass between your tempting lips a second later with a sigh.
“Alright, I know this is gonna be a lot and a little crazy, so take all the time you need, okay? I’m here for you,” you said with a slight jitter in your voice that put every muscle in his body already on high alert, especially when you added a hand on his arm for comfort. There was a familiarity in your eyes too, a slight puckish glint that put him on edge.
Jesus fuck, what the hell did you do now?
“Ya know, if you wanna blow me out on the balcony, sweetheart, might wanna put on more clothes. Don’t want your knees freezin’ to the concrete,” he said.
“My, such a gentleman. Sweet how much you care about me,” you retorted, amused. Behind your back, your fingers fumbled for the handle before pushing the door open with flourish. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
Ben slowly stepped past you into the room, the large Douglas fir glowing golden in the corner of the quiet apartment, only the winter winds rattling against the old windows. As his gaze slowly drifted over the room, looking for clues or something wrapped with a neat bow on top, his entire world suddenly stopped when it landed on the couch.
What in the fucking–
Sitting right there on the velvet teal sofa, posture perfect and hands in her lap, was none other than Margaret Brooks.
His fucking mother.
Her eyes – his eyes – lifted and found him. Her hair was still curled the exact same way he remembered from childhood. She actually looked pretty much the same as the last time he saw her. Couldn’t have aged a day and was surely no older than a few years over forty.
But her clothes? Those were different. However, they still looked a little too… familiar. Blue jeans and a ripped Blondie tee? Yours, obviously. And speaking of you…
Ben’s head turned slowly toward you, still standing in the doorway, forcing a smile and yet biting your lip anxiously, posture casual but shoulders too damn tense. You were clearly gauging his reaction.
And Ben? He shot you the deadliest glare he ever gave you (and there’s been a few over the years whenever Puck took over the wheel and crashed the fucking car). You bit your lips harder in response, more tension creeping into your muscles.
Oh, you were going to fucking pay for that one.
“Benjamin?”
His mother’s voice snapped his focus away from you and temporarily restrained his anger. He didn’t dare to blink as she stood from the couch and smoothed her delicate hands over Debbie Harry’s face on the front of her shirt.
That alone was an oddity he never expected to see in his long life – and God, had he seen a lot of fucking weird shit. This still took the cake, though. Not to mention, he had a little fling back with Debbie in 1980, which you knew about, so he assumed this was just you fucking with him more.
Fucking Puck…
For the first time since he became a supe, he couldn’t hear a fucking thing anymore then. He didn’t hear the heater running, didn’t hear the buzzing of the tree lights, didn’t hear your uneven breathing. The only thing he heard was his own goddamn heart thundering in his ears.
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Just felt like he swallowed cotton, which was another rarity. He usually always had something to say, even when it was just an inappropriate joke.
When his mother’s lips rose to a soft smile, Ben stumbled back a step before he even realized his feet had moved. He felt the color drain from his cheeks.
“Surprise…?” you said, voice trembling with reluctance.
He gave you credit for not shouting it out at least, being wise enough to phrase it like a question instead. But he could still see it gleaming in your eyes – the brightness, the anticipation, the hope – as if this was something beautiful you had done for him.
Meanwhile, he couldn’t even fucking move his tongue from the roof of his mouth.
“Outside,” he snarled and grabbed your wrist before he even knew what he was doing.
“Ben–”
“Now.”
He unceremoniously pulled you out into the hallway, all the way back down to the bedroom, and slammed the door shut behind you with a booming thud that almost brought the old building to its knees. Then he spun toward you. You swallowed thickly, shaking in front of him like a teen who stole his car for a goddamn joyride.
“What in the actual fuck?!” Ben snapped and tried to rein himself in when he caught you flinch at the thunder in his voice. “What the hell did you just do? Have you lost your goddamn mind? What in the world is wrong with you?”
“Whoa, okay, careful,” you warned him gently, halfway raising your hands like you were trying to tame a crazed lion in the circus. “I know this is a lot for you, and you’re freaking out, but don’t say something you can’t take back, alright?”
“Are you fucking nuts?!”
“Like that…” You sighed. Then you took a step forward and found his eyes. “Look, I was just trying to give you a present.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “A present or a prank, huh?”
“I know you may not see it right now, but this is for your own good,” you stated.
“In what fucking way? You think draggin’ my mother – my dead, gone, more-than-eighty-years-in-the-ground mother – into our goddamn living room is a fucking present?”
“Ben, I just thought–”
“You thought?” He stepped closer, both anger and panic battling across his freckled face. His nostrils flared. His jaw tightened. “You thought this was… what? Sweet? Fuckin’ cute? You thought I’d just, what? Hug her? Eat fuckin’ cookies? Open presents in my pjs? She’s been gone my whole damn life. You can’t just fucking–”
Ben raked both hands through his hair, breathing hard. He felt sick. Dizzy. His chest was heaving like he was twenty-three again and just watched every anchor in his life slip underwater.
“Ben… she’s right there,” you said softly and took his hands in yours, offering him a careful smile. “You get her back. Don’t you understand? You get your mom back, baby.”
He swallowed heavily, not wanting his voice to crack when he spoke again. “I haven’t had a mother in over eighty years.”
“I know,” you whispered. “But now you do.”
“You realize that’s not a normal fuckin’ sentence, right?” He tried his hardest to choke the tears back, your little snort reaching his ears. “How do you–… how did you even–… how is she–”
“Alive?” you offered and then gave a shrug, licking your lips. “So, uhm, funny story, when I was cleaning my old chronokinetic logs last month, I figured it out.”
His brow scrunched. “Figured out what?”
“You told me Margaret disappeared in ’46. No one ever knew what happened to her, right? But don’t you see, baby?” you asked and looked at him with that bright glint in your eyes that you usually reserved for the students in your classroom. “It was always me. I got her and brought her here.”
“So… what? She can just stay here?”
“Yeah, I checked. She didn’t have any influence on the timeline after–” you started to explain but stopped yourself abruptly.
He raised a brow. “After what?”
You worried your lower lip. “Well, uhm, after you became Soldier Boy.”
Ben knew what that meant – after his mother looked at him like he was the same monster his father was. Was that moment really so fucking important to history? It barely affected him.
“The timeline stays intact,” you added. “Apparently, I always grabbed her and placed her here in this time. She’s just part of the loop.”
Ben took a deep breath and looked at you. “Sweetheart, she’s from 1946,” he said. “What the hell is she supposed to do here? How’s she supposed to live, huh? Adjust? What if she fucking panics? What if she’s scared? I mean, Christ fuck, what did you say to her? Does she even know what goddamn year it is?”
Ben’s chest was heaving. You, however, were smiling – mischievous, amused, teasing.
“What?!” he snapped.
Your smirk broadened. “You’re adorable when you’re worried about your mommy.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He sighed deeply and rolled his eyes back, gripping his temple. Then he fixed you with a glare and wagged a finger at you. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Look, I already explained everything to her, and she’s totally fine,” you said, staying calm in the face of his storm. “She wants this, okay? And I don’t blame her. Her choice was between staying with a man she hates or wearing jeans and getting her own credit card. Not a hard choice to make if you ask me.”
His brow furrowed slightly again. “What d’you mean everything? What everything? What did you tell her?”
“I told her the truth about you, me, what time I’m really from,” you replied. “She was surprised to see me, but she was even happier she gets to see you again.”
“Yeah?” He cocked a brow, skeptical. “‘Cause she sure as hell wasn’t happy to see me last time I checked. She said I became my father.”
“And I told her you’re not, alright? You’re nothing like him,” you said. Then the corners of your mouth twitched upward. “Except maybe for your love for expensive whiskey and cigars.”
He huffed a chuckle, nodding, but couldn’t say anything else.
“You’re a hero. That’s the truth I told her,” you continued. “You saved the world from an authoritarian lunatic.”
“You mean my authoritarian lunatic, lab-bred son?”
You scratched your throat, tilting your head. “Might have left that part out,” you admitted and pursed your lips. “Also might have embellished a few things about your past.”
“Oh, so you did good PR,” he deadpanned. “Is that supposed to fuckin’ comfort me?”
“It doesn’t matter because you’re not that guy anymore, alright? She knows what happened to you in Russia. She knows about Vought. That’s all she really needs to know. All she cares about is who you are now,” you said. “She’s actually handling everything, uhm… better than you did.”
“No, she’s not,” he scoffed, defensive.
“She’s also more tech-savvy than you.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not kidding. She already knows how to access the internet with her phone,” you said, a grin spreading on your lips. “Also taught her how to use tap-to-pay and stream movies, download music… She thinks the cooking tutorials on YouTube are genius.”
“You gave my mother a phone? With a touch screen?” Ben could only throw his arms up at this point.
“I did,” you replied and smiled in amusement. “Listen, she can stay here in Paris with us. We could give her the guest room or get her her own place. Or if you need a little distance in the beginning, I figured we could put her up at the house in Philly. She might like it there since it’s her hometown.”
Ben just stared, a lump stuck in his throat.
“Look, I didn’t bring her here to overwhelm you,” you added. “I brought her because you deserve a mother who loves you. And she deserves to have a life without your miserable bastard of a father. Most of all, she deserves to have her son back.”
The fight then left him all at once, a stubborn knot loosening inside of him. He realized then that he’d never been angry. Not really.
He was fucking terrified. The fear was so tangible now it choked him like a noose around his neck.
“I–… I don’t know how to do this,” he muttered and averted his eyes away from you.
Growing up, he’d learned to live without wanting things. Without needing things. Which sounded silly, considering the sheer amount of wealth that surrounded him as a child shouldn’t have left him ever wanting or needing anything at all. He knew he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. But most things he’d wanted as a little boy (or even now) couldn’t be bought with money.
Rich in what matters was something you always told him, and he couldn’t help but agree after a century-worth of life experiences. Although, having a filthy amount of money was still nice.
Now, however, you had given him something so precious he’d never dared to even hope for it.
“We take it one step at a time, okay?” you said and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to know how to do this. She already does. Come back in?”
Ben hesitated and licked his lips thoughtfully for a moment. His hand tightened around yours to ground himself, scared everything waiting for him in the living room would prove itself real in a way he couldn’t undo. His jaw flexed, eyes flicking toward the closed doors again.
Then he exhaled slowly through his nose. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Yeah… alright.”
You gave him a small, encouraging smile before leading him back down the hall and nudging the door open again.
Margaret wasn’t sitting anymore. She stood near the couch, one hand resting lightly on the backrest, the other holding a phone, scrolling with a familiarity that made his brow twitch. How the hell was she already more comfortable with the customs of the 21st century after a single day than he ever was?
She then glanced up as the two of you strolled back in. And there it was – that look that had been branded into his mind since childhood.
Sharp. Knowing. Warm in a way that didn’t suffocate.
“Well,” she said, tilting her head ever so slightly, juniper eyes sweeping over him from head to toe. “That’s new.”
Ben frowned faintly. “What is?”
His mother stepped a little closer, gesturing vaguely toward his face. “The beard.”
His hand came up instinctively, brushing over it. “Oh.”
Margaret hummed. “I suppose it suits you. Makes you look–…” She paused, considering. “…less like a boy trying to prove something.”
You snorted behind him, and Ben swiftly shot you a look over his shoulder. “Don’t start.”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Yeah, but you were thinkin’ it.”
“She usually is.” His mother’s lips curved a touch more. “She was always the only one around here who seemed to have the most sense.”
You beamed. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, well, don’t encourage her,” Ben muttered and threw both you and his mother a look.
He shifted on his feet then, suddenly unsure what the hell to do with himself. For a man who had faced down armies, governments, freaks, and monsters, this particular challenge unraveled him more than anything ever had before.
It all felt too… familiar.
Not the situation. Not the impossible, reality-bending, mind-altering insanity of it all. But her.
Her voice. Her tone. That dry little edge that always carried more affection than softness ever could.
“You, uh…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You look… the same.”
Margaret raised a brow. “Flattery? On Christmas morning? Who are you, and what have you done with my son?” she quipped. “But I’m glad you think so. I’d hate to think time had been unkind to me while it was ignoring you entirely.”
But Ben could barely speak, his mouth agape, eyes fixed solely on his mother. Still there. Still real. Still looking at him like he wasn’t something broken.
Margaret’s expression then softened a smidge.
“You’re staring,” she said gently.
“Yeah,” he admitted, deep voice rougher than he wanted it to be. “Tryin’ to figure out if I finally fuckin’ lost it.”
“If you had,” she replied smoothly, “I doubt your imagination would’ve dressed me in this.” She plucked lightly at the hem of the Blondie shirt.
You perked up instantly. “Oh! Speaking of which, this is just temporary,” you said and looked at him. “I told her we’re going shopping later. While I mostly rummage through thrift stores, I figured your mom would be happier on the Champs-Élysées.” You then grinned mischievously at Margaret. “We can max out Ben’s credit card at Gucci and Chanel.”
Ben blinked, brows drawing together, but his mother carried an entirely pleased smile.
“Now that’s a future I can get behind,” she said.
He let out a short, incredulous laugh, shaking his head. “Un-fuckin’-believable. Both of you.”
You smirked at him. “You love us.”
Ben didn’t answer that. Couldn’t.
His mother was looking at him again, really looking, but it was different than before. Not assessing or teasing. She then slowly stepped closer as if she was giving him a chance to bolt if he needed to, but his feet stayed rooted to the ground.
“I know our last meeting didn’t go the way you wanted it to, and I’m sorry for that, Benjamin,” she said quietly, her hand reaching out and gently touching his cheek. “But I’m really proud of the man you’ve become.” His breath hitched, swallowing the thick lump in the back of his throat. She smiled kindly. “Not that you need my approval. You’re grown enough now. Still, you have it if you ever wondered.”
“Ma…” His voice cracked before he could help it.
And that’s all it took. Margaret then closed the remaining distance and pulled him into her arms. For a split second, Ben went rigid from head to toes at the touch – as if he didn’t remember how exactly this worked, how to be held like that without expecting it to turn into something else.
But then, he took a deep breath in and folded. His arms came tightly up around her, nearly desperate, and she embraced him just as hard. One hand came up to cradle the back of his head, fingers threading into his hair the same way she used to do when he was a kid.
“It’s alright,” she murmured. “I’ve got you, my sweet boy.”
His shoulders shook once, but he didn’t make a single sound. Didn’t even dare to take a breath. For one small heartbeat, he felt like the boy again that she used to fix collars for before school.
He felt your presence across the room, standing patiently next to the sparkling tree, but he couldn’t look at you yet – not until he got himself under control. He could feel the slight wetness on his face that he would plausibly deny if you ever asked him about it.
But when he finally lifted his head, he found your eyes across his mother’s shoulder – too raw, completely undone, and unbearably grateful. There was something in his own chest he couldn’t name as he watched your smile rise. Something that terrified him more than any enemy ever had. Something warm and painful and fucking overwhelming.
You’d given him the one thing he thought the world had stolen forever. And it was, without question, the best goddamn Christmas morning of his life.
Margaret is officially back and arrived in the 21st century!!! Man, I've been sitting on this little bombshell for ages now. I had originally planned to incorporate that storyline in TAT itself, but there wasn't a right time or moment as the action picked up again. But if you have ever wondered why we left Margaret's ending so open, now you know why 😜
🕰️ Series Masterlist
💌 Want more? Drop your questions, requests, imagines, headcanons… here.
No warnings I just threw some ideas onto paper, on 'what if both soldier boy and captain America want you...'
The first time YN met Steve Rogers, he apologized for bleeding on her floor.
The first time she met Soldier Boy, he kicked a chair across the room because she pointed a gun at him.
That alone should have told her everything she needed to know.
But attraction had never cared much about logic.
---
YN had spent most of her life undercover.
Lies came easier than breathing. Seduction was a tool. Trust was dangerous. Attachments got agents killed.
Yet somehow, she ended up caught between two men who could not have been more different if the universe had designed them as opposites.
Steve Rogers made her feel safe.
Ben made her forget she ever wanted safety in the first place.
And that was the problem.
---
The Avengers Tower kitchen was quiet at 2 a.m.
Rain tapped softly against the glass windows while the city glittered beneath them. YN sat on the counter in one of Steve’s old gray hoodies, nursing a cup of tea after another sleepless night.
Steve stood at the stove making pancakes because apparently that was his solution to emotional distress.
“You know,” she murmured, watching him, “normal people sleep.”
Steve glanced over his shoulder with a small smile. “Normal people don’t come home with stab wounds.”
“It was one stab wound.”
“You say that like it’s better.”
She laughed softly. God, he was beautiful like this.
Not because he was Captain America. Not because he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. But because he was gentle in ways the world rarely allowed men to be.
Steve remembered things.
How she liked cinnamon in her coffee.
How she unconsciously reached for her left shoulder when she was stressed.
How nightmares made her avoid sleeping entirely.
He noticed every little crack in her armor without ever trying to force his way through them.
“You should let me train you on knife defense,” Steve said.
“I know knife defense.”
“You got stabbed.”
“Okay, rude.”
He chuckled quietly, and the sound warmed something deep inside her. That was the thing about Steve.
Being around him felt like coming home after years of surviving.
Predictable. Steady. Safe.
The kind of man you imagined standing at the altar waiting for you with soft eyes and trembling hands. The kind of man who would hold your face during arguments instead of raising his voice.
The kind of man who would love your children before they even existed.
YN looked at him and saw peace.
And maybe that should have been enough.
---
Ben made peace impossible.
The motel room smelled like whiskey, smoke, and gunpowder.
Soldier Boy lounged against the couch while YN cleaned blood off her knuckles in the bathroom sink.
“You should see the other guy,” she muttered
“I did.” Ben smirked. “He ain’t seeing much anymore.”
She rolled her eyes, but she could feel him watching her. Always watching her. Like a predator. Like a man resisting the urge to drag her into his lap.
Ben was chaos in human form.
Too loud. Too arrogant. Too reckless. And completely intoxicating.
“C’mere,” he said suddenly.
“I’m busy.”
“Doll.” His voice dropped lower. Rougher. “Now.”
Her stomach flipped instantly. That annoyed her more than anything.
She walked over anyway.
The second she got close enough, his hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her between his legs hard enough to steal her breath.
“There she is,” he murmured.
Heat flooded her skin.
Steve touched her like she was precious.
Ben touched her like he was starving.
“You keep looking at me like that,” she whispered, “and one day I’m actually gonna shoot you.”
His grin widened. "Yeah? I think about you too when I'm holding my gun.” his hand grabbed his crotch.
God.
Everything with him felt dangerous. The flirting. The tension. The way his hand slid up her spine possessively.
Even kissing him felt reckless.
Especially kissing him.
Because Ben kissed like violence wrapped in hunger. Like he wanted to consume every thought in her head until there was nothing left except him.
And the worst part?
YN loved it.
She loved how fast her pulse got around him.
Loved the adrenaline. Loved the unpredictability. Loved the way he challenged her instead of calming her down.
With Steve, her heart settled
With Ben, it nearly exploded.
---
“You love him.”
The words caught YN off guard.
Steve sat beside her on the training room floor after a brutal sparring session, both of them sweaty and exhausted.
“Who?” she asked carefully.
Steve looked down at the wraps around his hands. “Soldier Boy.”
There was no jealousy in his voice. That somehow made it worse. YN swallowed. “Steve—”
“You don’t have to explain it to me.” He smiled faintly, though sadness lingered behind it. “I see the way you look at him.”
She hated that he noticed everything.
“He makes me feel…” She exhaled sharply. “Alive.”
Steve nodded once. And there it was again. That unbearable understanding. No anger. No manipulation.
Just quiet heartbreak.
“He scares you too,” Steve said softly.
“Yes.”
“And me?”
Her eyes met his. “You make me feel safe.” Something vulnerable crossed his face then. Because Steve Rogers knew exactly what that meant.
Safe was not exciting.
Safe was not obsession, it was not the kind of love songs people wrote about. Safe was the man you built a future with.
The man who stayed. The man who loved you gently when the world had only ever loved you violently.
Steve reached over slowly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“If you choose him,” he said quietly, “I’ll still come when you call.”
Her chest physically hurt. Because of course he would.
That was Steve.
"I... I love you too..." She whispers into his shoulder while he held her. He kissed her head. "I'm with you till the end of the line, love."
"Till the end off the line." She mouthed back.
---
Ben laughed when she told him.
Actually laughed.
“You serious?” he scoffed, sitting shirtless on the edge of the bed. “Golden Boy gave you the ‘I just want you happy’ speech?”
YN glared at him. “You’re impossible.”
“And he’s boring.”
“He’s kind.” she defended him.
Ben leaned back slightly, studying her. Then, unexpectedly serious, he asked, “You ever wonder why you can’t stop coming back to me?”
She crossed her arms defensively. “Enlighten me.”
“Because Rogers looks at you like something to protect.” Ben stood, walking toward her slowly. “I look at you and see someone who can burn the world down with me.”
Her breath caught
Ben tilted her chin upward.
“You don’t want peace all the time, sweetheart.” His thumb brushed over her lower lip. “You want passion. You want obsession. You want someone who matches your fire instead of putting it out.”
The terrifying thing?
Part of her thought he was right.
---
That night, YN sat alone between two futures.
One looked like warmth, stability, love that lasted decades, the other looked like fire.
Danger.
Chemistry so intense it blurred into destruction.
Steve was the man she could trust with her life. Ben was the man who made her forget reason entirely.
And maybe the cruelest part of all…
Was that she loved them both for completely different reasons.
Decided to consolidate my masterlists for my Bucky fics here
Steadfast: Bucky Barnes does not like fairy tales because of a girl he knew back in 1940s Brooklyn
Take Me Back to Eden: a 22 chapter Bucky x Reader mess that spans from Civil War to Endgame
Roman Holiday: Bucky and reader bond over old movies. After showing him your favorite, he takes matters into his own hands.
Provider: Y/N has wanted to be a mom for a while. After breaking up with her no good ex, she goes to a clinic and gets artificially inseminated. After a bunch of chaotic events, she ends up pregnant and homeless in Avengers Tower. And Bucky takes it upon himself to take care of her and her baby.
Book Boyfriend: Y/N runs a bookshop and is unlucky in love. If she had it her way, she would be dating her favorite character from her favorite series of books, Bucky Barnes. After a blind date gone wrong, her fantasy might actually become a reality……..
Pumpkin Spice is Not Nice: Y/N has an unusual seasonal allergy. Bucky has a vendetta. The rest of the Thunderbolts* are confused.
All the Pretty Girls: (Bucky x Plus Sized Reader) all the pretty girls like Bucky, but he has his eyes on reader, who doesn’t feel all that beautiful
The Memory Remains: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and save Reader. Rendered mute by whatever happened to her an amnesiac, the team has to figure out how to help her while she sticks to Bucky like glue.
Cologne Quest: Y/N likes Bucky and is his secret Santa. She wants to gift him a bottle of his cologne he is running out of, but doesn’t want to ask what it is so she won’t be found out. She recruits Bob in her hunt, causing some tension between Bob and Bucky
A Little White Cat With Yellow Green Eyes: it’s Bucky’s first Christmas in Avengers Tower and Y/N knows he won’t have a present, she struggles finding the perfect gift.
Dude, Where’s My Thunderbolt?: inspired by the BTS incident where the group left J-Hope behind at a gas station, each Thunderbolt gets left behind on accident on a road trip. Each has a different reaction.
Sweet Child ‘O Mine: Y/N and Bucky become good friends after Steve (her ex-boyfriend and his ex-best friend) goes back in time to be with Peggy. They are thrown for a loop when the lawyer of one James Steven Carter appears. The alias of a now dead Steve Rogers, the lawyer reads off a will giving Y/N and Bucky custody of Steve’s orphaned baby great granddaughter, Annie. Y/N and Bucky must now come to terms with Steve’s departure, becoming adoptive parents, and maybe even their own feelings.
Smoke and Honey: Y/N wakes up in the care of Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers with no memories. Years later, she is Bucky Barnes’ neighbor. She thinks he is familiar. Bucky thinks she needs to stay away from him.
Jazz Club Confessions: Sam brings his childhood friend, Y/N into the circle of Avengers. Her and Bucky get a long really well. So well that a night at a jazz club for his birthday turns into something more.
Love in Bloom: Bucky wants to confess his crush on Y/N in the classic grand romantic gesture, flowers. However, when he overhears Y/N say she doesn’t like flowers cause they wither up and die, he feels dejected. Until he finds inspiration in the unlikely combo of Peter Parker and Ned.
You Found Me: Y/N has always had the uncanny ability to know where Bucky and Steve are. After Bucky and Steve are declared dead in WWII, Y/N’s power reveals they are still alive. With the help of Peggy Carter, she goes in search of the boys.
Books and Bears: a blurb in which Bucky reads Winnie the Pooh to Y/N’s baby bump containing their baby bear
A Helping Hand: Y/N works really hard as a secretary for the Avengers. A little too hard. When Bucky finds out why, he enlists some help from Shuri to help relieve some of Y/N’s stress.
Ideas Coming Soon
Holdin’ On To Yes, No, Maybe: Bucky fell in love with Y/N in Bucharest and had to end things quickly. Now healed, he keeps wondering how Y/N ended up, and if she would take him back.
Untitled: Tony hosts a Valentine’s Day Charity Ball. Bucky is named New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor at the same time. Soon the Ball turns into a Cinderella-esque affair, and Wanda decides to use her powers and play fairy godmother to one overworked assistant that Bucky is particularly fond of.
You Got Me In A Chokehold: Y/N is a fan of anonymous metal band The Avengers. She has a thing for their guitarist, The Winter Soldier. She also has a crush on her music teacher neighbor, Bucky Barnes. Will she let her fantasy crush get in the way of her thing with Bucky?
Bookstore Meet-Cute: fate brings the bookish Y/N and Bucky together at a bookstore
Time is But An Illusion: Y/N has Wanda use her reality bending powers to surprise Bucky with a date in “1943”.
Crème de la Crème à la Edgar: Bucky’s beloved Alpine goes missing. While on a search, he meets Y/N, whose three kittens are missing. Alpine wakes up in an alley with three small kittens relying on her. What enemy could all these parties possibly have in common?
Untitled: Bucky thinks desserts nowadays are too sweet. He craves desserts from his childhood that no longer are known. Y/N stumbles upon B. Dylan Hollis on social media, and decides to buy his cookbook to make Bucky happy
I Don’t Wanna Be A Homewrecker, I Just Know I’ll Be Better: Bucky pines for Y/N who appears to be with Walker. He doesn’t wanna be a homewrecker, but he knows he’ll be better.
The Mandalorian, Grogu, and Bucky: in this Star Wars crossover fic, Din Djarin has been captured, and his adoptive sister, Din Y/N and Grogu have been sent through a wormhole and crash landed on Earth. While she enlists the help of the Avengers to get her back to space to save her brother, Grogu plays matchmaker for her and Bucky.
Oh What A Swell Party This Is!: In this crossover fic inspired by The Philadelphia Story/High Society, Y/N Stark prepares for her upcoming wedding to John Walker; hindered by the arrival of her ex-husband, James Buchanan Barnes, and a handsome reporter covering the news, Clark Kent.
Also one of these days, I’ll actually write the 2025 Clark Kent fic that’s been rotating in my mind like a rotisserie chicken
Punkrocker: every time Y/N goes to the karaoke bar she always hears an amazing voice singing punk rock songs from the next room. She uses her journalism skills to learn that her fellow punkrocker is her coworker, Clark Kent
Summary: Bucky wants to confess his crush on Y/N in the classic grand romantic gesture, flowers. However, when he overhears Y/N say she doesn’t like flowers cause they wither up and die, he feels dejected. Until he finds inspiration in the unlikely combo of Peter Parker and Ned.
There once was a time where Bucky Barnes thought he’d never see spring again. For several stolen decades, all he knew was the harsh, cold darkness of winter; a brutal existence that gave him that damned name, Winter Soldier. A name whispered in the snow of the blackest night, like an evil sprite in a fairytale. Jack Frost may playfully nip at your nose, but the Winter Soldier would kill you before the first snowflake could melt away on your skin.
Back then, spring was a dream, a myth, something that only existed to give one false hope of something better. It was a fleeting existence; images of life that only appeared when he closed his eyelids, only to be shocked awake by the chill of melting ice, yanked out of bliss to receive orders.
But then, as is the nature of life, spring came.
It came on the helicarrier, when Steve Rogers broke through to him. It lingered softly as he wandered around the world, slowly melting away the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes struggling to grow again underneath. It burst into being when the Wakandans deprogrammed him. When he received his pardon, becoming an Avenger and moving in with Steve and his friends and associates, Bucky no longer lived in the grey world of winter. Everything was technicolor now, like a blooming meadow in spring.
Yet something was always missing. Sure he had his freedom again, but a slight iciness in the air remained around him. Almost as if he was stuck in early March, when the weather wants to be bright and sunny, but can only manage a neutral 50°F at most. Bucky needed warmth, he craved it, seeking it out desperately, despite not knowing what it was that he was looking for exactly. He spent hours wondering what was wrong with him, he had friends, he laughed with them and found happiness, but it didn’t fulfill him the way his heart longed for.
Little did he expect to find it in her.
Y/N, the team’s personal assistant, personified spring. She radiated warmth, always greeting people with a friendly smile and wave. Saturated, colorful clothing added to her cheerfulness. Y/N entered a room and everything became clearer, like the sunshine when it peeked out from a cloud. Her laugh was as bubbly as her personality, a living bottle of champagne, emanating joy with every giggle.
The first time he saw Y/N, bent over her tablet, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as amber sunlight filtered in through the window, creating a halo around her head. The moment Y/N noticed him and raised her head, she smiled at him, little dimples forming in her cheeks, the corners of her eyes crinkling. Bucky stopped dead in his tracks. Normal people weren’t supposed to smile at him, they were supposed to see his metal arm and run in fear. Instead, this woman leapt off her chair, approaching him, Bucky’s heart pounding louder with each step. “Hi,” she had said, “I’m Y/N, the PA. You must be James.”
“H-hi,” Bucky stammered, suddenly forgetting every word in the English language. “I mean, yeah I am, but you can call me Bucky though.”
“Okay Bucky,” she reached out then, extending her hand.
Bucky shook it, a fluttery feeling surging through his body when he touched her.
“Do you like sweet things?” Y/N asked nonchalantly. She strode over to the counter, tapping on two containers. “I made some desserts. Would you like a cookie or a lemon bar?”
Bucky blinked, stunned by her openness and her beauty. “Uh, what do you like?”
Y/N tilted her head up, chewing on her lip, thinking. Bucky glanced at the floor, trying not to be imposing. “Lemon bars,” Y/N said finally. “They remind me of the sun.”
“So do you.”
“What was that?” Y/N asked, flipping the container open.
Did I say that out loud? “ So do I,” he cringed, realizing he wasn’t making sense. “I mean, the sun and lemons. What you said, I, I think so too.” His face felt hot, something that hadn’t happened since 1943.
Y/N handed him a plate as she giggled. “That’s good then.” She walked away, grabbing her tablet to head to an appointment.
“What is?”
She smiled at him over her shoulder, “It means we have something in common. See you later Bucky.”
He gazed after her, dazed as he focused on the sunshine swallowing her up. “Yeah, hope so.”
It quickly became clear to him that Y/N was more than just the team’s employee, she was their friend. She accompanied Wanda on her trips to metaphysical stores, helping Wanda sort her collection of crystals and incense. Peter and her always watched the newest episodes of Star Wars shows together. Sam, Steve, Clint and her yelled at various sports games. Natasha no longer hid in her room to watch her reality tv, cackling at the dumb contestants while sipping wine with Y/N. Bruce called her his yoga buddy, finding it calming. Tony came to her for advice about his unique relationship with Pepper. And she always answered Thor’s confused questions about Midgardian traditions patiently.
Seeing this just made Bucky fall more. He followed her like the moon followed the sun, seeking her warmth like a wildflower in a meadow. Y/N always welcomed him, staying by his side; her existence the best comfort in the world. It seemed to Bucky that she learned him, she always knew what he needed. On bad days, he would retreat, putting himself in solitude. Somehow she always found him. “Do you want company?” She’d ask. Every time he’d say yes. She’d move to be next to him. “Do you want to talk about your day or do you just want silence?” That answer varied, but one thing was clear, Bucky felt lighter with her around.
When he was a child, Bucky had heard the story of Hades and Persephone. How the God of the Underworld visited a lush field and saw a woman so beautiful, he vowed to make her his. Every time Y/N graced him with her presence, Bucky understood how Hades felt. Bucky, once an entity with a list of kills long enough to fill a novel, had found his Persephone; a woman who looked at him and saw a man, not death. He wanted to make her his.
Unlike Hades, Bucky obeyed the rules of chivalry, he had to court her properly.
He had it all planned out, the strategy that never failed: flowers and a confession. Simple. Classic. Romantic. It had been a dating staple for centuries for a reason.
Except there was a flaw with this method.
Bucky sat at the dining room table in the common area, eyes widened as he scrolled on Steve’s laptop he borrowed. He swore there weren’t this many types of flowers back in the day. Roses, peonies, daffodils, orchids, ranunculus, baby’s breath, tulips, hydrangeas, dahlias, sweet pea, lilac, sunflowers, anemone. His head swirled at all the options. What would Y/N like? He thought, scrubbing his hand over his face.
Meanwhile on the couch, Natasha sprawled out on one end of the sectional, eyes focused on whatever dating show held her interest currently. Next to her, Y/N sat cross legged, examining different spools of colored wire against a smooth black crystal. Wanda waited at her right, measuring a piece of cord around her neck. “I don’t know, “Y/N said, holding the spool of gold wire to the stone. “The gold adds a beautiful contrast, but the red just seems more…..you.”
Wanda laughed as she cut the cord to her desired length. “Lemme guess, it’s cause I’m the Scarlet Witch,” she joked. “Besides, it’s not for me, it’s for you.”
“Oh,” Y/N replied, setting the black stone down. “I’m not sure what to get then.”
“You shouldn’t use onyx for Y/N,” Bucky said absentmindedly.
Wanda and Y/N shifted, turning to face him. Natasha snorted, failing to hide a smirk behind her hand. “What was that Barnes?” Wanda asked.
Bucky stiffened, realizing what just happened. “I-I mean,” he stammered, heat rising in his cheeks. “Y/N has a very bright personality, she should get something colorful is all.”
His phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out, scowling when he read the notification.
“Barnes is right,” Wanda finished for him, flashing him a knowing grin.
Bucky hastily returned to the laptop, heart swelling when he saw a decently sized arrangement of velvety red roses and golden sunflowers. It’s perfect, he thought, clicking add to cart.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Wanda continued. Small clicks filled the room as she sorted through her box of crystals. “What about a rainbow fluorite?” She held up a long multicolored stone. “Or maybe a sunstone?” Wanda handed the crystals to Y/N.
Y/N rolled them over in her hand, inspecting. “They’re both cool.” She lifted them up so Bucky could see. “Bucky, which would you pick?”
Bucky peered up from the laptop, scrutinizing the options. “Sunstone,” he said definitively, covertly referring to how Y/N reminded him of the sun.
The corners of Y/N’s lips curled into a small smile. She quickly adjusted, keeping her face away from Bucky as she messed with her hair. “Sunstone it is,” she whispered to Wanda, returning the crystal to her.
Another buzz, another notification.
Natasha 4:33 pm: u got it baaaaaaaaaaaad. 😏
Bucky set his phone on the table roughly, shooting Natasha a glare.
Sam strode into the room confidently, dressed in a suit. “Hey,” he greeted as he straightened his tie. “Just the group of ladies I was looking for!”
“Hi Sam,” the trio of women answered.
Natasha’s brow raised in confusion. “I thought your date wasn’t till 6:30?”
Bucky chuckled. “Holy shit, Sam got a date?” He teased.
Sam responded with his middle finger, making Bucky laugh harder. “It is,” he said to Natasha. “I just gotta go out and get something.”
“Get something?” Wanda queried, waving her hands and emitting a red aura, using her magic to craft a necklace.
“Yeah you know, first date stuff,” Sam clarified. “I was debating on what I should bring her. Wine? Chocolates? Or flowers?”
“Wine!” Natasha exclaimed. “Can’t go wrong there.”
“But does she drink wine?” Wanda countered.
“That’s true,” Y/N agreed. “Not everyone likes wine, and even if they do, people have their preference. Is she a white or red girl?”
“Uh…..” Sam trailed off.
“Rosé is always nice,” Wanda offered.
“Speaking of, do we have some in the fridge?” Natasha wondered.
“Let me check,” Y/N rose to look but Wanda beckoned her to sit down, using her powers to look.
“So chocolate then?” Sam led the conversation forward.
“That sounds nice,” Y/N said.
“Sounds cheap,” Natasha chimed in. “Go with flowers.”
“Yes, flowers!” Wanda concurred, dragging a bottle of rosé over with her magic. “Red roses. They’re classic for a reason.”
“But what if she doesn’t like flowers?” Y/N asked.
That got Bucky’s attention. He paused, midway through entering his payment information, listening intently.
“What are you talking about?” Natasha interrogated. “Everyone loves flowers.”
“Yeah,” Wanda added.
“Hold up,” Sam interrupted. “Y/N might be onto something. There could be allergies involved.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Y/N said. She shrank down a bit, shoulders folding in towards herself as she felt all eyes on her. “I mean, me personally. Yes I like flowers. But I always felt bad when I got them because they are so expensive and they die so quickly.”
“Not if you take care of them,” Natasha reminded her.
“That’s the thing,” Y/N pressed on. “Every time I received flowers, I put them in a vase with water right away. And by the next day they are all brown and gross and withered. Yes they are nice, but it just makes me sad. I wish I could keep them longer.” She lowered her head, embarrassed, picking at a loose thread on the hem of her shirt.
Bucky slowly closed the laptop, dejected. His foolproof plan to woo Y/N just flew right out of the window. He sighed, standing and picking up the laptop. “Go with all three.”
The group turned to him then. “What?” Sam asked.
“Go with all three,” Bucky repeated. “Cover all bases. You’ll find out what she likes most and you’ll look good.”
Wanda tilted her head, pursing her lips, as if saying good idea. “That sounds lovely,” Y/N said, wistfully.
Sam traced his beard with his fingers, pondering. “I hate that I’m saying this, but that’s actually a good idea.” He clapped Bucky on the back as he walked past. “Thanks man.”
“Yeah, listen to Barnes,” Natasha said dryly, aiming another smirk at Bucky. “He’s a real ladies man.”
Bucky sent Natasha a stare that he hoped conveyed the message of Natasha, I swear to God. “Let me know how it goes,” he addressed Sam, before attempting to walk out of the room.
“Bucky?”
Y/N’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks. “Yeah Swe—Y/N?”
Y/N stood up, approaching him quickly. She paused once she was in front of him, awkwardly glancing at Natasha, Sam, and Wanda. She clasped her hands in front of her, not knowing what to do with them. She leaned in so only he could hear. “I made another batch of those lemon bars you really like,” she whispered. “I put them in a box in front of your door. It’s labelled Mission Reports. I figured if it looked boring, Thor and Clint wouldn’t steal them like they did last time.” Her eyes lowered, focusing on the floor.
Warmth bloomed in his chest, heart swelling. “Hey,” he said softly.
She peered up at him.
Bucky gave her a small smile. “I appreciate it.”
“I just know how much you like them.”
I like you too. A text alert sounded from his pocket as Natasha giggled across the room. Bucky cleared his throat, regaining control. “I have to go, see you later?”
Y/N smiled back at him. “Okay.” She returned to the couch.
Bucky insured that he maintained a normal pace as he stepped out of the room. After a few steps, he looked over his shoulder, checking if the coast was clear. He took off then, running towards his room, hiding his feelings.
Shit! How do I tell her now?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He didn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning as the gears in his head turned, trying to formulate a new plan. She’s special, it needs to be special. Natasha’s right chocolate seems cheap. And wine is too plain. Do I just ask her to dinner and tell her? But what if she says no to dinner or gets weirded out? I guess she could’ve gotten weirded out by flowers too. What if I bake for her? She likes baking! She bakes for me! Oh be for real Bucky, you never baked on your life, knowing your luck you’ll make charcoal not cookies. Aw fuck, this used to be easy back in the day. Wait a minute, why was it easy? I mean, all those girls were cute, and dates were fun, but, I dunno, nothing felt right. I couldn’t see a future with any of them, not even Dot. Y/N’s the one I know it aaaaaannnnnndddd now you sound like a creep…..
Needless to say that after a night chockfull of overthinking romance to no avail, Bucky needed a shower and some coffee. Strong coffee. He padded into the kitchen, freshly showered and changed, hair damp, eyes still stinging from lack of sleep. Yawning, he wiped at his eyes, hoping to relieve the burn.
“Good morning Sergeant Barnes!”
Bucky opened his eyes, seeing Stark’s eager young ward lounging on the floor, waving. “Morning Peter,” he grumbled, reaching for a mug off the drying rack.
Peter ignored Bucky’s grumpiness. “This is my friend Ned,” he motioned towards a heavier set boy, also sitting on the floor.
“Hi,” Ned said, eyes wide, intimidated by Bucky.
Bucky adjusted his body language, trying to make himself appear softer. “Nice to meet you Ned.” He went back to the task of making coffee, inserting a pod into the kcup machine.
Ned relaxed then, grabbing a box that rested between him and Peter and opening it. “I can’t believe we got our hands on this!” He exclaimed, dumping out the contents, several bags of small bricks, onto the floor.
“I know right?” Peter asked, sorting through the bags. “It’s been sold out for months!”
“Expensive too,” Ned said. “By the way, we owe MJ $20.”
“What?”
“Hey you try to raise money for the Millennium Falcon while trying to get into college!”
Peter scoffed. “That’s nothing. Try doing both of those while being an Avenger. Like that time in Germany when I fought-“
Bucky groaned from the kitchen, annoyed. “You got lucky!” He called, spinning on his heel, blowing off the steam rising from his fresh coffee.
“Okay that’s true.” Peter’s brow arched, taking note of Bucky rubbing his temples. “You okay Sergeant? You seem tense.”
“Just call me Bucky, Parker,” he waved him off. “And yeah, I didn’t sleep too well last night.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Peter grabbed the box, showing it to Bucky. “Wanna build some Legos?”
“What?” Bucky asked, lowering his mug, growing more exasperated by the minute.
“Legos,” Peter said again, shaking the empty box. “They’re a building toy.”
“Tool!” Ned yelled, nodding quickly, chest puffed out to seem more mature. “Building tool.”
“Building tool?” Bucky lifted his mug to his lips, concealing the laugh that was building at their insistence of maturity.
“Yeah! They’re fun!” Peter said.
“And really relaxing,” Ned added.
“This is the Millennium Falcon,” Peter explained. “But I have other sets. You can make many things with Legos you know.”
“Yeah?” Bucky feigned interest in the plastic bricks. “Many things huh?”
“Uh huh,” Peter continued. “There’s this. There’s an Avengers Tower set. You can make cars.”
“There’s a lot of licensed stuff,” Ned interjected. “You know, Star Wars and Pokémon and Mario Kart.”
“Oh yeah, okay,” Bucky tiptoed toward the exit.
“And flowers,” Peter said.
Bucky froze. His coffee sloshed over the rim of his mug, splashing against the floor as he did an about face. “What was that?”
“Flowers,” Peter said again. “Lego makes sets where you build flowers.”
“And other plants too,” Ned tacked on. “I have a set of succulents. They’re great, don’t have to worry about overwatering and killing them.”
Bucky rushed at them eagerly, setting his mug on the coffee table harder than he meant to. “Show me.”
Thirty minutes later, Bucky found himself in the middle of a rainbow wonderland. He wasn’t sure what was more obnoxious, the bright yellow walls and floors accented with drawers of various colored bricks, or the two teenaged boys who got excited over every box they could find.
“Hey look! A Stitch!”
“Oh my God, the R2D2 set!”
“They made Tweety as a cupid, that’s interesting. MJ might like that.”
“Lunar New Year, that’s worldly of them.”
“Focus!” Bucky barked, causing Peter and Ned to stand to attention. “Where’s the flowers?”
“Uh…..o-over here I think,” Ned led him to a corner near the back of the store. “Lego Botanicals collection. Plants. See?”
Bucky scanned the boxes, taking in the vivid faux flowers. “There’s so many of them,” he said, amazed. There were sunflowers, cherry blossoms roses, lotuses, daffodils, of two flowers each in a box. And then there were the more complicated ones, the big ones replicating bouquets: roses, pink roses, tulips, a yellow, blue and magenta themed set labelled Wildflower Bouquet, a pink and blush and orange Pretty Pink Flower Bouquet, a smaller yellow set that was also a bouquet, another bouquet of sunflowers. “What do I do?” He spoke his thoughts out loud.
Ned picked up two boxes, examining them. “Since this is your first time, I’d get the sunflowers, they look the easiest.”
“They’re not for him Ned,” Peter said.
Bucky’s body went rigid, his head snapping around so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash as he faced Peter. “Wha-How do you know that?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
Peter retreated a couple of steps, waving his arms around. “I don’t know anything really, I swear. Just what Miss Romanoff, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Stark, and Captain Rogers say about you and Y/N!”
“Stark knows too?”
“Sergeant Barnes, everyone knows.”
Bucky groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “God, I can’t do anything right,” he mumbled.
“You being nervous is good,” Peter said, tentatively patting Bucky’s metal arm, “May says if someone likes you they should get nervous with you at first. Otherwise it’s a red flag or something. I dunno exactly.”
Bucky sighed, exasperated. I can’t believe I’m getting dating advice from a teenager. He rolled his eyes, deciding to take a look at the options again. Bucky ruled out the sets of two flowers and the Petite Sunny Bouquet, wanting something bigger, grander. He settled on three sets, the sunflower bouquet (sunny like her personality) the red rose bouquet (classic, romantic), and the Pretty Pink Bouquet (vibrant like her and her clothes). “Thanks guys,” Bucky lauded Peter and Ned once they returned to the Tower. “This was really helpful.”
Ned awkwardly saluted Bucky as he settled on the floor again, pulling out the instructions of the Millennium Falcon. He cringed once he realized what he was doing. “Good luck!” Peter called out as Bucky retreated to his room, formulating a new plan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky stood outside of her bedroom door, straightening the collar of his shirt. His heart pounded in his chest, stomach feeling heavy, wallet feeling lighter. He had to bribe the rest of the team to leave the common room alone for the night, claiming it for his “date” with Y/N.
“Do you want the fancy fairy lights on?” Tony joked. “Cause it’s gonna cost ya $50 more.”
Bucky’s nerves overtook him; he pulled out his wallet, retrieving a wad of cash he didn’t bother counting, and set it in Tony’s hands, oblivious to the sarcasm.
Tony stared at the money in his hand with disbelief. “Oh shit, uh….okay. F.R.I.D.A.Y!” He summoned the artificial intelligence, programming the lights to have that warm, honeyed glow of Bucky’s dreams of Y/N.
Okay, Bucky thought, going through a checklist in his mind. Lights. Music. Legos. Chilled wine. Snacks. Nice outfit. Cologne. We’re good. His fist hovered over the wood of the door. Let’s go. He knocked, heartbeat intensifying with each contact of his knuckles against the door.
Y/N answered the door faster than Bucky expected. She was already in her lounge clothes, sweatpants and a baggy off the shoulder sweatshirt, exposing a strap of her bra. The sunstone necklace Wanda had made for her laid delicately against her collarbone. “Oh, hi Bucky!” She greeted with a smile. As she spoke, the sunstone around her neck glowed a little. “What’s up?”
Bucky blinked, taken aback by both the glowing stone and how pretty she looked like this. “I uh…..you know what Legos are?” He asked, coughing slightly to rid his throat of the stone lodged in it.
“Yeah,” Y/N answered. “Everybody knows what Legos are. They’re fun!”
“Well uh,” Bucky fidgeted with his collar. “You see, Peter recommended them to me. Said they are relaxing and maybe it would help me with you know…..stuff.”
Y/N’s brow arched. “Oh?”
Bucky cleared his throat again. “Anyway, I bought some and I don’t quite understand the directions. W-would you help me?” He recoiled at how immature he sounded.
Y/N’s smile grew wider, the crystal emanating a small halo of light now. “Of course I will!” She closed her door, heading towards the elevator, pressing the button.
“Really?”
“Bucky,” she laughed, entering the elevator. The halo of the rock flickered with each sound, “you know you can ask me anything right?”
Anything? “Yeah I know,” he attempted to save face, guiding her to the common room. “It just felt a bit silly, since from my understanding, they’re a kids toy.”
Y/N waved him off as the doors opened to the common room floor. “Legos are for everybody. Let your inner child o-“
Y/N stopped, admiring the dining room table surrounded by dainty pinpricks of gold. Across from the boxes on the table, a bucket of ice with a wine bottle sticking out of it rested, two wine glasses at the ready next to it. There was also a charcuterie board, the savory aromas of meats and cheeses and various accoutrements welcoming to her nose. Soft instrumental music flowed out of a speaker. “Wow,” she gasped. “This is not what I expected when you said build Legos.”
Bucky rounded the table, “Yeah, I just wanted to be as relaxed as possible.” He lied.
Y/N held back a giggle as she walked to his side of the table, the sunstone shining slightly more.
Bucky scrambled, picking up a box and nearly dropping it. “I didn’t know what set to get, so I got three of them.”
Y/N inspected them. “Flowers?”
“They seemed like a good place to start,” Bucky explained. “Which one should we build.”
Y/N pursed her lips, looking over the options again. “That one,” she said finally, pointing to the Pretty Pink Flower Bouquet set, the one Bucky chose for its vibrancy.
“Good choice,” Bucky smirked, glad he chose right. He pushed the other boxes aside, opening the box and sliding the contents out.
Y/N reached over, grabbing the booklet that came with it. “Ok so it looks like each bag represents each type of flower,” she said as she read. “And it looks like there’s two of each one, so we can each build one and share instructions.” She set the booklet on the table, pressing it down so it wouldn’t close on them.
“That’s convenient,” Bucky commented, ripping a bag open. “So what’s first?”
“I usually sort out each of the different pieces into piles,” Y/N said, scooting the bricks across the table. “Makes it easier.”
While she did that, Bucky motioned to the snacks. “Moscato?” He offered.
“How’d you know I like moscato?”
Bucky shrugged as he poured her a glass. “Lucky guess.”
Once they were settled, Y/N showed Bucky how to do the first step, him following. “So your necklace,” Bucky started. “It glows?”
“Mhmmm,” Y/N took a sip of wine. “Wanda put a spell on it. It emits light when I’m happy. For some reason she said the world needs to know I’m happy? Which I don’t understand.”
Bucky tried hard not to look at the sunstone, a constant halo still glowing. It had only started doing that when he arrived. He shook his head, not entertaining the thought.
“And what about you, Peter and Ned got you into Legos?”
“Yup.” He clicked two pieces together. “They suggested it this morning.”
“And the flowers?”
Bucky paused, stabbing a piece of cheese and salami with a toothpick. “Well….” He trailed off, bringing it to his mouth, using the chewing time to think. “I remembered what you said about flowers,” he opted to tell a part of the truth. “How you said you wished they lasted longer. I feel the same way, and I never been good with plants, so they seemed like a good idea.”
Y/N peered up at him, eyes searching for something. “You remembered what I said?”
“Yes.”
“You do that often?”
“All the time,” he replied breathlessly.
Y/N glanced away shyly, adjusting her hair, the sunstone getting stronger.
Both of them stopped mid-Lego, Bucky snatching his wine glass to drink and Y/N attempting to hide her necklace under her shirt. “This is nice,” Y/N complimented, picking up her pieces again. “This is a great way to do this.”
Bucky’s lips curled into a half smile. “Yeah?”
She held up a completed plastic marigold, grinning with pride. “Look at that!”
Bucky snapped the last piece into place, showing off his own. “That’s actually really neat.”
They continued, talking and laughing as they went. All too soon, the final flowers were finished. “That went quicker than I thought,” Bucky complained.
“Probably because we worked together,” Y/N replied, admiring their work. “They look so pretty!”
“It’s missing something though,” Bucky feigned confusion, crossing his arms and cocking his head, staring hard at the flowers.
Y/N checked the remnants of the plastic bags, shook the box. “I don’t see any other pieces.”
“Mhhmmm,” Bucky hummed. Then he gasped, snapping his fingers. “I know!” He bent down, producing a transparent green vase from underneath the table. “Somewhere to put them.”
Y/N laughed as Bucky arranged the flowers in the vase. “Bucky Barnes, you are a terrible actor.”
Bucky chuckled, adjusting his masterpiece so it matched the picture on the box. “Didn’t you know I won the Oscar in 1943?” He joked.
She giggled again. “I’d like to watch that movie, what’s it called?”
Bucky took a step back, nodding at the bouquet, pleased with it. “It’s called,” he began, coming back to the table and grabbing the vase. “Y/N Can I Take You On A Date?” He held the Lego flowers out to her.
Y/N ceased laughing, scanning Bucky to see if he was sincere. “Wait, what did you just say?”
Bucky lowered the vase, so they could make eye contact. “Can I take you on a date?” He repeated, cheeks and tips of his ears turning pink. “You see, I, I really like you Y/N. I have for a while now. I just think you’re great, you’re sweet, you’re beautiful, and I know it sounds cheesy but when you’re with me, it feels like I’m basking in the glow of the sun. I’m so used to the cold and dark, but you bring a warmth into my life that I didn’t know I needed. Sweetheart, you remind me of spring, all bright and colorful, so I wanted to confess my feelings to you with something similar. But then I heard real flowers make you sad, and found out about these Lego things and well, here we are.” He shrugged, pushing the flowers towards her again. “These are for you, if you’ll have them. If you’ll have m-“ He cut himself off, blinded by a strong light.
Y/N recoiled as well before realizing the light was from her sunstone necklace. “Oh!” She exclaimed. Tossing the cord off over her head, she put the necklace in her pocket. “Sorry about that,” she apologized. “I’m just very happy you said that.”
“You are?” Bucky asked incredulously.
Y/N nodded vigorously, finally taking the vase of Lego flowers from Bucky, hugging it to her chest. “I was too nervous to say anything,” she said quietly, trying to hide behind the Legos. “But, I like you too Bucky.”
Bucky let out a shaky breath. “Really?”
“Yes,” her voice was small, shy. “Ever since the day I met you.”
“Me too,” Bucky confessed.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Bucky extended his hand, placing it on top of her arm, and pushing gently to lower the flowers so he could see her face. “So I can take you out? Tomorrow?”
She nodded again. “Tomorrow and any other day you want,” she promised.
Bucky grinned, his heart leaping out of his chest with joy. “You’ll really have me?”
“Of course,” she answered, setting the vase aside. “But I have a question for you Bucky.”
Bucky’s grin faltered, an expression of concern replacing his happiness. “What is it?”
“Can…..can I kiss you?” She stammered, casting her eyes to the floor.
Bucky used his flesh hand, hooking his index finger under her chin and turning her face up as he advanced a step. “Now and any other time you want,” he mirrored her words.
Y/N closed the gap between them, arms coming up and wrapping around his neck. Bucky embraced her, flesh hand cradling the back of her neck, the metal resting at the small of her back. They kissed then, lips brushing against each other tenderly, a kiss soft and sweet to match the newness of their relationship. Something they could build and grow together with each new day. The kiss broke, both of them breathless. Y/N reached over, plucking a Lego pink rose out of the vase and tucking it into the pocket of Bucky’s shirt, giggling. Bucky laughed with her, feeling bubbly and lighter than he ever had in years, resting his forehead against hers, holding her tighter.
He owed Peter and Ned big time. Maybe he’ll buy them their next Lego set. But that would have to wait. First he had to build the rest with his girl.
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Inspired by this incident where BTS left J-Hope behind at a gas station, this is how each Thunderbolt reacts to getting left behind on a road trip. Special thanks to @biaswreckedbybuckybarnes for giving me this idea. Some beers and wine are consumed in this fic. It’s a bit long but I hope you enjoy!
The Thunderbolts, except for Alexei, gathered around in their parking garage, annoyed by the early morning meeting Val had called.
“Another mission?” Walker whined. “I know we’re superheroes, but this is the fourteenth one this month Val!”
“Not to mention all the stupid press conferences,” Bucky muttered. “And interviews.”
“At least you got interviewed by the New York Times, Barnes,” Ava protested. “Yelena and I had to strip down for Cosmo of all places.”
“I had to wear lingerie,” Yelena corrected. “You got to keep your suit because of your abilities.”
“Alright alright!” Val interrupted, snapping her fingers. “I get it, you guys need a break. That’s exactly why I called you here.”
The team exchanged glances with each other, brows furrowing in confusion. “Come again?” Walker asked finally.
“Burnt out employees lead to mistakes,” Val said, heels clicking on concrete as she paced and gave each person a commanding glare. “And God knows this team needs more mistakes, being as you’re all one.”
“Ouch,” Bob whispered.
“And it’s not like you guys are the only heroes we have-“
“Sam will never work for you Val,” Bucky said.
“I didn’t say he had to work for me, but if anything comes up, I’m sure Captain America,” she directed her eyes at Walker, making sure Sam Wilson’s new title hurt him, “will not be able to turn a blind eye.” She paused, glancing at the time on her phone. “So y’all better go pack up, I’m sending you guys on a week and a half vacation-“
Several members of the team let out pleased noises.
“Together,” Val clarified.
“Aw what!”
“Come on!”
“You can’t be serious!”
“I need a break from these children!”
“Aw sweet! It’s nice to get some quality time together!”
Everyone stared daggers at Bob.
“Team bonding,” Val continued. “Some members of this team are still a little too combative with each other.” Once again, she looked at Walker. “Go pack up, your ride will be here soon.”
“Our ride?” Ava asked.
Like a needle drop on cue, AC/DC’s Highway to Hell echoed off of the concrete walls of the parking garage. Tires skidded in the distance, followed by a heavily accented bellow.
“THUUUUNNNDDEEERRRBOOOOOLLLLLTTS!” Alexei shouted from the drivers seat of a rundown RV.
Yelena facepalmed, cheeks blushing crimson. “Oh my God, kill me now.”
The RV tipped over onto one side as Alexei hastily put the vehicle in park before he had even fully braked. Throwing the door open, the beer bellied Russian revealed himself to be wearing khaki shorts, socks with sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt that was a couple of sizes too small, buttons fighting for their life. “We go on vacation!” He exclaimed cheerfully.
Walker examined the RV with disgust. “Alexei, where the hell did you get this monstrosity?”
Alexei patted the hood of the RV, a puff of dust billowing about. “Olga is beautiful,” he replied, wiping off the hood. The words Red Guardian RVs: Protecting You From Boring Vacation appeared in red letters. “Had her for years.”
“More like centuries,” Ava scoffed, kicking at a tire. The hub cap fell off, rolling and landing at Bucky’s feet.
“So, where are we going?” Bob queried, the only one other than Alexei excited about this.
“Oh I don’t care,” Val waved him off as she made her way towards the exit. “Go wherever, I don’t give a fuck.”
“To an early and well deserved grave?” Walker suggested.
“DISNEY WORLD!” Alexei shouted.
“Disney,” Ava said. “do we look like childr-“
“YES!” Bob screamed, hands flying above his head.
“Wow Dad,” Yelena started sarcastically, although her eyes lit up and the corners of her mouth fought off a smile. “You’re finally keeping the promise you made to me when I was five.”
Alexei wrapped one arm around Yelena and another around Bucky, the person who unfortunately stood right next to him. “Fun for all ages,” Alexei declared as Bucky huffed in exasperation.
“Eh, they have beach resorts,” Walker reasoned. “Can’t be that bad.”
“Then let’s go!” Alexei herded them towards the building. “Go! Go pack! We leave in thirty.”
Yelena
They had barely crossed into New Jersey when Olga’s engine sputtered.
“Alexei, you remembered to fill up the RV before we left right?” Bucky queried from the passengers seat.
“Relax Barnes,” Alexei pointed at the gas gauge, which still read full. “Olga is a okay.” He smacked the dashboard affectionately, the needle on the gauge slipping down to E. Bucky groaned in response. “That’s not good.”
“There’s a gas station off of this exit,” Walker instructed from somewhere in the back.
“Got it,” Alexei turned off, driving the RV into the parking lot of said gas station.
“Alright,” Walker strutted around the RV, throwing the side door open. “Everyone go take a piss, stretch your legs, maybe get a snack. Meet back-“
“Move it,” Ava shoved him aside, even though she could just as easily use her powers to phase past him.
“And remember, we can’t pump the gas,” Bob noted as Yelena jumped out of the RV. “That’s illegal here.”
“God, I fuckin’ hate Jersey,” Bucky whispered.
The team went their separate ways, Yelena opting to go to the easy meal aisle, grabbing an arm load of the microwavable Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
“Yelena?”
Yelena turned around, a brunette woman with a side braid smiled at her. “Kate!” Yelena exclaimed, dropping her haul and going to hug her.
“How are you?” Kate asked. “It’s been awhile!”
“Well I’m not dead, so I must be doing something right,” Yelena joked.
“I’ve seen you in the news,” Kate bent down, helping Yelena pick up her snacks. “What’s it like being famous?”
“Weird,” Yelena replied. “Especially cause my dad is on the team too.”
“Oh you reunited with your dad? That’s nice.”
“It is, until you’re forced to go on vacation with him and your team.”
“Oh, where are you going?”
“Disney World of all places,” Yelena rolled her eyes. “Wait, why are you here?”
“Oh, my friends and I are going to Halsey’s hometown concert tonight,” Kate answered.
“Lucky!” Yelena growled in envy.
“Kate? You comin’?” Another woman called from the cash register.
“One sec!” Kate called. She turned to Yelena, embracing her again. “It was good seeing you. Don’t kill anyone on your trip.”
Yelena smirked. “I’ll try.” She gathered her mac and cheeses again, making her way to the register after Kate left. She paid the cashier, grabbed her bag, and stepped out into the sun. Her stomach dropped when she noticed the empty spot where the RV was supposed to be.
Maybe they parked somewhere else after they filled up? She thought. Yelena circled the lot, scanning for the shabby RV. It was nowhere to be found. Rage replaced confusion as she dug into the pocket of her sweatpants, pulling out her phone. “I know those assholes didn’t leave me behind” she said to herself as she furiously clicked Alexei’s name in her contacts.
The phone clicked on the other end. “Lena?”
“What the fuck?” Yelena greeted him harshly.
“Huh?”
“I’m calling CPS on you!” She threatened.
“CPS? You’re not a child,” Alexei replied. “Wait, why are you calling me from the RV?”
“Oh I dunno Dad, maybe because YOU LEFT ME BEHIND?”
“Left you be-“ Alexei’s voice softened as he counted. “One, two, three, four, f…….”
“Dad?”
She recoiled as various screams filled her ears, followed by the bellow of her concerned father. “YEEEEEEELLEEEENAAAAAAAAA!”
Alexei
Alexei’s driving privileges were revoked after he nearly killed everyone performing an illegal U-Turn to retrieve Yelena. Bucky maneuvered the RV across the interstate, Alexei pouting in the passenger’s seat. “I should drive Olga,” Alexei said, voice surprisingly quiet.
“You should watch your kids better,” Yelena piped up from the back.
“That’s on you,” Walker said. “Shoulda got back to the RV soo-OW!” He was cut off by a punch from Yelena.
“HEY!” Bucky barked, “DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!”
“Yes, Papa Bucky,” Ava mocked.
“Children,” Bucky murmured.
“If I can’t drive, can I have beer?” Alexei addressed those in the back.
Bob, sitting closest to the fridge, opened it. “Looks like we’re out.”
“Out?” Alexei shifted, eyes narrowing when he noticed the can in Walker’s hand.
Walker paused mid sip, lowering the can from his lips slowly. “What?”
“Beer thief!” Alexei shouted as he threw Bucky’s water bottle at Walker.
“OW! What is with you people!” Walker yelled back, rubbing a red welt on his forehead.
“That’s it!” Bucky veered off of the interstate, following signs for a gas station. “Literal children!”
Bob pointed at Walker. “John started it!”
“Yeah and I’m finishing it!” Bucky led the RV into a Wawa. He put the RV in park, tossing his seatbelt off as he went to the back.
Alexei saw an opportunity. He opened his door, ignoring the argument between Bucky and Walker and went inside. Making a beeline to the fridges, he found four six packs of his favorite beer. He paid, stopping to hold the door for an elderly woman before heading back outside. His arms fell to his sides, fingers faltering on the handles of the six packs for a moment.
His beloved Olga had abandoned him, leaving him behind in the land of diesel and the wrappers of gas station sub sandwiches. A vibration sounded from his phone. Moving the beers around, he read the notification banner.
Yelena 2:14pm: That’s what you get jerk!
Alexei chuckled, impressed. “That’s my girl.” He glanced around, finding a bench beside the door. Plopping down, he cracked open a beer and waited.
Bob
“Seriously Alexei,” Walker complained, as Bucky drove the RV into yet another gas station. “What the hell is the miles per gallon on this thing?”
“Hate to say it, but I agree with Walker,” Bucky concurred, setting the gear shift in park.
Alexei leaned over the dashboard, rubbing it affectionately. “Don’t listen to them Olga,” he whispered.
“At this rate, we’ll never get to Disney World,” Ava ridiculed.
During this, Bob had disembarked, in need of fresh air. The past couple of hours, he felt that weird feeling creeping in. That feeling of immense dread and anxiety. Not quite overwhelming darkness, but something that wasn’t normal. He glanced up, the neon lights of the 7-Eleven casting off a nostalgic glow. Man I could go for a Slurpee right now. Bob searched his pockets, empty.
“Hey Yelena.”
“Yeah?” She didn’t bother looking up from her phone, scrolling through cute dog videos on TikTok.
“Can I borrow like five dollars?”
Yelena shoved her hand in her pocket, throwing a crumpled ten at him.
“Thanks.” Bob walked inside, surprised at the lack of customers. Three employees, two men and a woman, sat behind the cash register playing a game of UNO.
“Hey,” one of the men said, drawing out the syllable a little too long. “We finally have a customer!”
Bob gave them a polite wave, making his way to the slurpee machine. His favorite, blue raspberry was out of order. “Aw man.”
“Is there a problem?” The woman asked.
“My favorite’s out of order,” Bob said sadly.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Our supply truck hasn’t come in yet.”
“What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Me?” The woman sputtered, surprised a customer would ask this. “I dunno I haven’t really thought about it. Cherry I guess.”
Bob motioned to one of the men beside her, not the one who initially acknowledged him. “How about you?”
“Oh, I’m diabetic, I don’t drink those.”
“Aw that sucks, I’m sorry.”
The employee shrugged. “It is what it is.”
Bob looked at the other man, who nodded like he was about to give sage advice. “It depends on the vibe you want. Fruity? Soda like? Or do you want the special?”
“The special?”
The employee waved his hands in a wide gesture. “Ya know, the special. Every flavor at once.”
Bob’s eyes widened. “I can do that?”
“Hell yeah man, nobody’s stoppin ya.”
Bob eagerly followed the gas station prophet’s advice, squirting every flavor into his cup. He took a small sip, letting out a delighted squeal as he paid. “Have a nice night.” He went to the exit, shoulders sagging when he realized. “Aw geez, they left me behind!”
“Who?” The woman asked.
“My friends,” Bob pulled out his phone. “In the RV.”
“Sounds like you need better friends.”
Bob tapped his phone screen, the phone producing the image of a dead battery instead. “Shit!”
“Wassup?” The wise man queried.
“My phone’s dead. Do any of you guys have a charger I can use?”
“Looks like you have my phone,” the other man said. “One sec.” He went to the back, returning a few moments later with a charging cord. “You can plug it up here until your friends arrive.” He tilted his head towards an outlet behind the counter, letting Bob come behind.
“Thanks,” Bob found a space and set up his phone.
The slurpee man pulled up another stool. “Have a seat, weary traveller. Wanna join our game?”
Bob sat on the stool. “Sure.”
Slurpee Man gathered up the cards, preparing to shuffle. “Nuh uh,” the woman said, snatching the deck from him. “I don’t trust you.”
“Chill Eliza, it’s not like-
“Bruh, I saw you in the bathroom earlier,” the other man said.
“Ah, but the cameras didn’t catch me!” Slurpee man nudged Bob with his shoulder. “Am I right my friend?”
Bob nodded, “Yeah, I guess.”
“That’s my man!” The employee put his arm around Bob. “My new friend knows what’s up!”
“So,” Eliza interjected, dealing out cards. “What’s your name?”
“Bob.”
“Nice to meet you Bob, I’m Eliza.”
“Riker,” the other man, the one who identified himself as diabetic, said.
“And I’m Shaggy,” Slurpee Man added.
“Shaggy?”
“Yeah man, cause I’m always hungry if you catch my drift.” Shaggy reached over the counter, picking up a snack bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles and ripping them open.
“Shag, ya know you gotta pay for those,” Riker protested, scrutinizing his cards.
“Chillax Star Trek, they can just take it out of my paycheck!”
Eliza flipped over a card, revealing the color as yellow. “It’s on you Bob.”
Bob played a yellow seven, Shaggy following with a red seven. “So Bob, what brings you around these parts?” Riker asked cordially.
“My friends and I, our boss sent us on vacation.”
“You work with your friends?” Eliza queried. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah it is,” Bob answered, laying a reverse card down. “They’re all pretty cool.”
“If they’re so cool, why’d they leave ya here?” Shaggy spoke as he tried to put a card down, not realizing Eliza was actually next.
“Guess it was my turn to be left behind.”
“Your turn?”
“Yeah, first we accidentally left Yelena behind. Then we left Alexei, her dad, behind as revenge. And I guess now it’s me.”
The three employees narrowed their eyes, concerned at how casually Bob said this. “Bob. That…..that’s not normal,” Riker said gently.
Bob dismissed him. “Eh it’s not the first time. We get separated on missions all the time.”
“Missions?” Eliza exclaimed.
“Yeah. Saving the world. Val calls us the New Avengers, but we like Thunderbolts better.”
Shaggy slammed his cards down “Yoooooooo I knew you looked familiar man!”
“So you know Bucky Barnes?” Eliza swooned. “He’s so sexy.”
“What the hell babe?” Riker protested, apparently him and Eliza were a thing.
“Yeah, Bucky’s pretty cool,” Bob answered. “He’s probably the smartest in the gang too.”
Eliza leaned in with interest. “Tell me more.”
Bob told them all about the team, what he was legally allowed to say anyway. They also shared their stories. Riker had double majored in college, biology and chemistry, hoping to help find a cure for type 1 diabetes. However, he struggled finding a job after college and that’s how he ended up here. Eliza was an aspiring actress, she did community theater on the side. When she wasn’t at work or on dates with Riker, she was rehearsing for a production of The King and I as Anna. Shaggy…………let’s just say the man would fit right in with the characters on That 70s Show.
An hour or so later, the door flew open, the bell above it launched across the room. “BOB!” Multiple voices shouted at once.
“Oh, hey guys,” Bob greeted from behind the counter, taking a sip of his slurpee and making Shaggy draw four.
“I thought we were friends man!” Shaggy cried out.
Yelena hopped over the counter, hands flying to Bob’s face, tilting his head and examining him. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?”
“I’m fine,” Bob replied.
“I’m so sorry Bob,” Bucky apologized, blushing as Eliza fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I didn’t know you weren’t in the RV.”
“Yeah cause Yelena forgot to tell us you went inside for a slurpee,” Walker said loudly.
“Not like you guys noticed either!” Yelena yelled back.
“To be fair,” Ava interrupted. “I thought he was taking a massive shit in the RV bathroom. Those mozzarella sticks from the last gas station didn’t taste right.” She clutched her stomach in pain.
“The toilet doesn’t even work Ava,” Yelena reminded her.
“Okay, we have Bob now,” Alexei yanked Bob over the counter as Yelena retrieved Bob’s phone. “Come we need to make up time.” He led Bob to the door.
Bob paused, peering back at the employees. Their shoulders sank as they watched him. “Hey one second guys,” Bob said going back to the counter. “You guys got paper and a pen?”
Riker flipped open the receipt printer, ripping off a section and handed it to Bob with a pen. Bob wrote down a number. “Call this number Riker,” he passed it back to the employee. “Tell them Bob recommended you. Our team could use more scientists.”
Riker stared at the number in disbelief. “Thanks.”
“I hope your show goes well Eliza.”
“Aw thanks Bob.”
“And Shaggy?”
“Yeah man?”
Bob patted him on the shoulder. “Just keep doin’ whatever you’ve been doing.”
A single tear escaped Shaggy’s eye. “Yeah dude,” he choked out. “I will.”
Bob gave his new friends one last sad look, then followed the team back to the RV.
“Damn,” Shaggy murmured. “I miss Bob already.”
Ava
Ava bounced on the balls of her feet, waiting for the breakfast pizzas to be ready. Of course she lost when they drew straws, being sent in to wait for breakfast as Alexei filled up the RV yet again. The teenager behind the pick up counter slid two boxes onto it. “Order for Ava!”
Ava picked up the stack, making sure to throw three dollars into the tip jar. “Thanks.” Carefully weaving through the store, she kicked the door open gently. As soon as she stepped outside, Olga took off, leaving a cloud of dust and diesel in her face.
“Bloody hell!” Ava screeched, clinging to the pizzas and running after the RV as fast as her legs could carry her.
“Need help?” A middle aged woman in a clunker pulled up next to her, a kind smile on her face.
Ava bent down, poking her head in through the open passenger’s window. “Can you follow that RV?”
“Of course,” the woman replied, wincing when Ava used her powers to phase into the passengers seat.
“Thanks,” Ava said, balancing the pizzas on her lap. “Now go!”
The woman’s foot was apparently made of lead; she stepped on it, tires screeching and smoking as she ran the red light at the exit of the gas station, following the RV in front of them. The rear end of the RV blinked, indicating they would be merging right, entering the interstate.
“Hold on,” the woman said, veering into the other lane, barely avoiding a car that honked at them.
Ava hung onto the handle above the passenger’s seat with one hand, the other steadying the pizzas as she shifted in her seat. “A little closer please.”
“Working on it,” the woman replied. Her engine roared, the car picking up speed and zooming onto the interstate. Ava glanced over, the RPM meter in the red. “Just a little more.” The woman reassured the car, closing the gap between it and the RV.
“Okay, hold it steady,” Ava instructed. Blinking, she clipped through the car and onto the hood, kneeling and holding onto a windshield wiper with one hand as she held the boxes flush to her upturned knee.
“Get a little closer!” She screamed.
The woman, all too eager to break a few laws in this chase, sped up, front bumper nearly tapping the RV’s tailgate. Ava looked over her shoulder. “Thanks!” She called out to her savior, before letting go with a leap.
Going through metal, she landed on the floor of the RV’s kitchen, pizzas still with her. The RV swerved, pulling over to the side quickly. Ava threw her free hand out, grabbing into the handle of the fridge to keep her balance. “Fucking hell guys!” She scolded. “First you make me get breakfast, then you abandon m…..”
A family stared back at her, mouths agape. The teenage son slowly brought his phone up, camera clicking as he took a photo.
Ava shook her head in disbelief. “What? Who? How? Huh?”
Her phone went off in her pocket, she snatched it out. “Hello?”
“Ava, where are you?” Bucky asked.
“Where the hell are you?” Ava accused. “You assholes left me behind!”
She could picture Bucky’s brow furrowing on the other end. “No we didn’t. We’re still at the gas station.”
Ava’s stomach went sour, her face burning with the heat of embarrassment. “Oh….uh….give me like ten minutes…..” She hung up on Bucky, spinning around to the shocked family.
“Can you uh, take me back to the gas station?”
John
John Walker was determined. They had lost three team members at previous gas stations (Alexei didn’t count as they left him behind as a prank). He was not going to be number four. The strategy was simple: they didn’t need anymore snacks and drinks, but due to the toilet on Olga not working, a bathroom break was sensible.
Walker thought highly of himself; a decorated soldier, now a famous superhero, more wins than losses, and the smartest guy on the team (not true, that honor went to Bucky, but we all know Walker hates that). He deliberately didn’t drink much of anything so he wouldn’t have to pee as much. Still, he could feel a bit of liquid in his bladder. Best to get rid of it now.
“Make it snappy boys,” he commanded Bob and Alexei as he entered the lone stall. Bucky stayed behind, given the duty of filling up the gas tank. The guys already made fun of him, he didn’t need them to know that his inflated ego was overcompensating for something else.
Walker made quick work of nature, exiting the bathroom and heading to the front door. He huffed when he noticed the empty parking lot, disappointed that his plan didn’t work.
“FUCK!” He flipped an end cap into the front window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky tapped his fingers on the wheel of the RV as the rest of the team sang along to Bohemian Rhapsody.
“For me,” the team screamed, “for me. For MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.” Surprisingly, Bob hit the high note as everyone else headbanged and imitated the guitar.
Yelena paused, fumbling for her ringing phone as the crowd belted out “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye.”
“Shit!” Yelena cursed. “It’s Val!”
Alexei turned the volume dial to mute as Bucky stared into the rear window, body tensing.
“Hi Val,” Yelena said, putting her on speaker.
“Anybody wanna tell me why the hell Walker is in jail in South Carolina when he should be with you guys.”
“Walker what?” Ava asked.
“Apparently he had a temper tantrum at a gas station. Got arrested for property damage.”
The team froze, slowly turning around and searching the RV.
Yelena sighed. “I knew it was too quiet in here.”
“Go get him,” Val demanded, ending the call with an angry click.
Bucky exited the interstate, preparing to turn around. “Well, there goes my vacation.”
Bucky
Bucky ran a hand over his face in exhaustion. He had spent the majority of this trip keeping the team in line. Everyone held a bit of a grudge at being left behind at gas stations, but it wasn’t his fault. Maybe if they stopped bickering like toddlers, Bucky would’ve been able to keep track of everyone. Instead, he felt like he had to herd sheep on his vacation. Well sheep and a jackass, except he actually wanted to leave the jackass behind. He did actually and was successful, until Val had to ruin everything.
As John, who finally took on driving duties, still whining about his escapade in jail, steered Olga into a gas station for yet another fill up, Bucky jumped on the opportunity.
“Ugh,” he moaned, grabbing at his head, making a show of rubbing his temples.
“You okay Bucky?” Bob asked.
“Migraine,” Bucky murmured. “Happens sometimes. From the brainwashing.”
“I might have something in my bag for that,” Ava offered.
“Thanks,” Bucky stood up, walking towards the back of the RV. “But I’m just gonna lay down.”
“Feel better,” Bob said.
Bucky drew the curtain that divided the kitchen area of the RV and the sleeping area back, shuffling around to make it believable. Securing the curtain back in its place, he retrieved his duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder. With one last peek backwards, he silently climbed up the bed, sliding the back window open. Tumbling out legs first, Bucky hopped to the ground, immediately running across the street to the Walmart and ducking behind the first car he saw.
Lifting his head slowly, he watched as the RV drove off without him. He chuckled to himself. “I’m free.” Waiting till Olga was out of sight, Bucky straightened, dialing the number of his best friend.
“‘Sup Bucky,” Sam answered.
“Hey. What are you up to right now?”
“In Atlanta, bout to go to my cousin’s wedding in a bit. You?”
“What a coincidence, I’m also in Atlanta.”
“Bucky, whatchu up to?”
“Look, I needed a break from those guys. You doing anything for the next couple of days?”
“Nah, I don’t have anything planned.” A long pause followed. “Wanna head back to Louisiana and chill on the boat?”
Bucky grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that. Send me your location, be there in a bit.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky and Sam spent several lazy days on the boat, talking, drinking beers, eating soul food, and listening to the oldies. Occasionally they put out a line to convince Sarah they were actually fishing. Bucky sat on top of the cooler, chilled beer bottle soothing on the warm skin of his right hand. Sam sat next to him, humming along to Otis Redding’s (Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay.
Bucky exhaled contently, taking a swig of his beer. “Wanna go mess with Walker?”
Sam took a sip of his own beer before replying with a sigh to match Bucky’s. “Hell yeah I do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam and Bucky reached Disney World on the Thunderbolts’ last day.
“Where the hell have you been?” Walker, sunburnt beyond all belief, barked as Alexei roughly applied aloe vera to his back.
“Y’all left me behind in Atlanta, Sam was in Atlanta, we went on vacation,” Bucky summarized.
“Dude, we called you, multiple times,” Yelena said.
“Phone was off,” Bucky shrugged, distributing envelopes.
“What’s this?” Ava asked.
“Plane tickets,” Bucky clarified. “So nobody gets left behind this time.”
“What about Olga?” Bob reminded them.
“Alexei, don’t you have a friend here?” Bucky queried.
“Ja, I can call Dimitri,” Alexei answered, slapping Walker on the back to let him know he was done. Walker yelped, whispering curses under his breath. “He takes good care of Olga.”
“Then it’s settled,” Bucky said. “Everyone meet at the airport at 9am.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I wonder where Walker is?” Bob scanned the waiting area, in line to board the plane.
“He said he was coming here early,” Yelena showed off the text message on her phone. “Maybe he’s already on the plane.”
“Yeah,” Sam said, smirking at Bucky. The team didn’t know that the message actually came from Redwing, having hacked into Walker’s phone in the night. They may have set up the text messages, as well as a new wake up alarm. “Walker likes being early to everything.”
The rest of them boarded the plane, blissfully unaware. “Hey where are you going?” Ava protested as she was squished between Alexei and the window, glaring at Sam and Bucky.
“First class,” Bucky waved his ticket.
“What the hell Barnes!” Yelena exclaimed.
“See you in New York!” Bucky jeered, following Sam to the back.
Sam and Bucky settled into their reclining seats, leg room a plenty. “Think he found out yet?” Sam asked.
“Patience Sam,” Bucky replied, hiding a grin.
A stewardess paused next to them, a cart in front of her. “Champagne?”
“Yes please,” Bucky said, giving the stewardess a smile.
She poured them glasses and went off to the next customers as the preflight announcement started. Bucky held up three fingers. “And three….two….one…”
His phone buzzed on cue. Bucky took it out of his pocket.
Walker 10:15am: YOU BASTARDS LEFT ME BEHIND? DO I LOOK LIKE MY NAME IS KEVIN FUCKING MCALLISTER? 🤬
Bucky and Sam cracked up, champagne glasses clinking as the revelled in their victory. Switching his phone to airplane mode, Bucky put it back in his pocket, took a sip of his drink, reclined and made a long contented sigh. Best vacation ever.
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 12)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check The Out
Here it is y’all, the final chapter. It’s lengthy. And it has mentions of graphic violence and whatnot. Thanks for sticking around this long! Enjoy
“Barnes, calm down,” Walker said.
“I am calm!” Bucky retorted, running his hands through his hair in a panic.
“I don’t get it,” Ava began as Yelena flipped open a laptop, searching for Ariel*’s phone’s coordinates. “Why would Ariel* run away?”
“Maybe because of what happened last night,” Bucky replied.
“Aw man, I scared her off!” Bob exclaimed, regret laced in his voice.
The elevator dinged open, Alexei leading Sam and Joaquin into the room. “Barnes you have visitors.”
“Hey man, I couldn’t get contacts for Strange. You wanna go to Ka…..what’s wrong?” Sam asked.
“Ariel* ran away,” Bucky explained.
Sam’s brow furrowed. “Why would she do that? And what the hell happened there?” He pointed at the crater in the wall.
“Walker threw Ariel* into the wall,” Bob answered.
“What?”
“How many times do I have to say this,” Walker yelled defensively. “She asked me too! It was the only way to save her after you guys convinced her to let Bob use his powers on her!”
“WHAT?”
“Wait a minute,” Joaquin interjected, “since when did Bob have powers?”
“FOCUS!” Bucky snapped, both verbally and with his fingers.
“I’m not getting a location on her phone,” Yelena called out, worry in her voice.
“Maybe she went shopping?” Alexei suggested.
“Nah,” Walker shook his head, “she never leaves the tower without Bucky.”
“You don’t think,” Ava stopped, observing Bucky’s frazzled state and not wanting to push him further over the edge.
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Bucky growled, knowing exactly what she was thinking.
“Bucky,” Sam approached him, putting his hands on his shoulders, attempting to calm him down. “Is there a place she loves to go? A store or something? We can start there. We can split up-“
Bob yelped in surprise, scrambling off the couch and falling over the back of it.
Everyone turned to see what the problem was. Yellow sparks floated in the air in front of where Bob once sat. “What the hell is that?” Walker asked, shifting his stance to a fighting position.
“Isn’t that-“ Bucky started.
The sparks flew open in a whoosh, revealing a tall bearded man in a cape, stepping through as if this was a normal day for him. His eyes scanned across the bewildered faces of everyone, searching. They settled on Bucky’s metal arm.
“You, tall, dark, and metal!” he commanded, “come with me. We’ve been expecting you.”
Bucky took a step forward, blocked by Alexei and Walker’s arms flying in front of him. “He’s not going anywhere!” Walker exclaimed. “Not until you tell us who you are.”
“Doctor Stephen Strange,” Sam explained. “Sorcerer Supreme.”
“Former Sorcerer Supreme,” Strange corrected, “Wong got promoted while we were gone.” He looked back at Bucky. “You comin’ or what?”
Bucky pushed past Walker and Alexei, approaching the portal. Yelena fell into step next to him. “I’m coming too.”
Ava phased in on his other side. “Same here.”
Strange sighed and rolled his eyes. “Okay. You can all come, just hurry it up. We’re waiting.”
Bucky jogged forward, jumping through the portal. He landed in the foyer of an unfamiliar building. The rest of the team followed, Bob coming last, shrieking again when the portal behind him closed. Strange’s cloak removed itself from him, flying in front of Bucky, the flaps of the collar making a beckoning motion. “Yeah yeah I know,” Strange said to the cape, grabbing it and putting it back on, “you’re impatient.” He turned his head back to everyone. “Follow us.”
Strange led them through the building, various magical objects floating around, rooms displaying different seasons, the cape occasionally taking a life of its own.
“What is this place?” Joaquin asked, staring open mouthed at the ceiling as snow fell out of nowhere.
“The Sanctum Sanctorum,” Bucky replied. “New York location.”
Strange smirked. “I see you’ve been talking to Banner recently.”
“Yeah.”
“He still in that form?”
Bucky nodded. “Yup.”
Strange cocked his head. “Whatever floats his boat I guess. Here we are.” He moved his hands in a wide motion, magically opening a heavy set of double doors with ease. The doors revealed a big room, a giant fireplace at one end, a stout Asian man standing in front of a velvet chair, pouring tea out for a woman, sitting opposite of him.
“DOLL!” Bucky exclaimed, running up to her. He fell to his knees in front of her, hands flying to her face. “Doll, are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?”
Ariel* put her hands on top of Bucky’s, smiling and shaking her head no.
“Don’t scare me like that!” Bucky exclaimed.
Ariel* tilted her head confused. Words appeared above her head, startling Bucky, who backed up a bit. Bucky, I texted you where I was going.
“How’d you do that!” Bob cried out, amazed at the magic subtitles.
Walker squinted to read the words. “Bucky, you dumbass! You didn’t check your phone?”
“My phone?” Bucky stammered, releasing Ariel* and digging into his pocket. As he lifted the phone, the screen lit up showing a notification:
Ariel* 8:15am: I’m going to that Dr. Strange guy. Saw the address on the note on your side table.
Several groans echoed across the room as Bucky blushed and shoved his phone back into his pocket. Ariel* giggled silently, one hand reaching up to cup Bucky’s cheek, her thumb swiping the skin gently.
“Would’ve contacted you guys earlier,” Strange said, “but we had to deal with some of our students.”
“Can’t believe HYDRA invaded our ranks,” Wong tsked, sipping out of his own cup of tea.
“And boy,” Strange continued, “based off of the conversation Y/N and I have been having, they sure did a number on her.”
Bucky’s ears pricked up. “Wait. Y/N?” He asked Ariel*, who grinned and nodded her head vigorously.
“Huh? Oh yeah,” Strange waved his hands around. “She had a spell on her blocking her from remembering her name. I lifted it.” He spun, facing the rest of them. “Really guys? You named her Ariel after The Little Mermaid?”
The Thunderbolts* shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Strange’s judgement. “It…it seemed like a good idea at the time,” Bob mumbled, rubbing his neck.
Sam cleared his throat. “So, Y/N does have a spell on her?”
“Oh yeah,” Strange answered. “Several of them. Strong ones too. Spells to forget who she is. Spells to forget what was done to her. A botched silence spell.”
“Black magic,” Wong added. “Us sorcerers are supposed to refrain from this stuff,” he glared at Strange.
“Wong, it’s been like ten years. I saved us from Dormammu didn’t I? Get over it!”
“And the words above her head?” Bucky queried.
Y/N tapped him, pointing above her head. Strange cast this one so I could tell him the situation without having to type everything. Pretty cool huh?
Bucky gave her a small smile, patting her knee. “Yeah, Doll. It’s pretty cool.”
“We could’ve used that months ago,” Walker muttered as Alexei elbowed him.
“So, Wizard Supreme,” Yelena addressed Strange.
“Sorcerer Supreme.”
“Whatever. Can you lift the spells on her?”
“Of course I can,” Strange said, somewhat arrogantly.
“They why haven’t you?” Bucky interjected.
“She’s been waiting for you,” Strange motioned towards Y/N. “She wants me to do a spell where you can see her lost memories. She knows you guys have wanted answers too.”
“Can you even do that?”
“I can, but, she’ll need to be asleep. Easier on her astral body.”
“Astral body?”
“You’ll see.”
“If she’s asleep,” Sam interrupted, “will she remember?”
“Yes.”
“One last thing,” Bucky said. “Will this be dangerous?”
“It would be if Wong wasn’t here,” Strange replied. “I can lift the memory spell while he keeps her astral body safe.”
Bucky recoiled a bit, uncertain. Y/N beckoned him again. Bucky, it will be okay. Her eyes locked on his, her face set with determination.
Bucky stared back at her, still uneasy, but they were out of options. “Okay. It’s your decision Doll.”
Y/N reached out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Then she sat back in her chair, eyes flickering to Strange. I’m ready.
Strange gave her a curt nod. “Barnes, you need to back up.”
Bucky reluctantly stood up, retreating to where the rest of the team stood. Sam put a hand on his shoulder, letting him know he was right by his side.
“Alright everyone,” Strange said, making an x shape with his arms. “Buckle up! Wong?”
Wong moved so he was behind Y/N, hands on either side of her head. “Ready.”
“And go!” Strange broke the x with his hands, Y/N’s head fell forward, a second her, transparent like a hologram, floating out of her body. It flew up towards the ceiling, its hair growing longer than what Y/N had now, pulled back with a claw clip that appeared out of midair. Her outfit changed to black dress pants, heels, and a black camisole underneath a turquoise blazer.
Y/N’s astral body, now appearing as it was before she was taken came down and touched the ground, the room shifted. The team huddled together, unsettled by the shift. The room grew smaller, the fireplace disappearing and replaced by a washer and dryer. A small love seat couch appeared, complete with a coffee table. Other furniture appeared, the walls changing, they were no longer in the Sanctum Sanctorum, but a studio apartment.
“What is this?” Bucky queried, slowly rotating, taking it in.
“This is the day Y/N was taken,” Strange said.
Y/N’s astral body sat at an old school vanity. She used a qtip to fix her smudged red lipstick, following it up with a spritz from a lilac perfume bottle adorned with flowers. Rising, she grabbed her phone and an air pods case, putting the buds in her ears. She scrolled through the phone, tapping on a song.
“Fortune fame. Mirror vain. Gone insane. But the memory remains,” Metallica suddenly sounded across the room, giving everyone a sense of what Y/N’s routine that day was.
Y/N hummed along, head bobbing up and down with the beat as she walked past a red and black electric guitar on a stand and into her kitchen. She opened her fridge, pulling out Tupperware containers of leftovers and placing them in a lunch bag. Next she grabbed a clean glass from the dish rack, filling it with water and walking across the room. She stopped at a side table underneath a poster for An American in Paris, adjusting two yellow roses she had placed in front of a framed photograph. It was Y/N as a child, both of her parents in Army uniform. She placed two fingers in front of her lips, made a kissing noise, and tapped each parent gently. Then she continued to a plant in the windowsill. A zz plant, in a blue pot with a sticker, Hello, My Name is Jerry. Y/N poured the water into it, rubbing a leaf between two fingers fondly. She went back to the kitchen, putting the glass in her sink, grabbed her lunchbox, went to her door, grabbed her purse, and locked up her apartment for the last time.
The scene changed to a Starbucks. “Y/N!” A barista called out. Y/N approached the counter, grabbed her drink, an iced caramel macchiato, and went about her day.
She walked a couple of blocks to a building that melded in with every other on its street. Y/N walked in, taking her earbuds out, greeted by a secretary at the front desk. “Ah, you must be Y/N!” The secretary extended her hand which Y/N took and shook. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the secretary. “This way, I’ll show you to your cubicle.”
The secretary led Y/N through a busy office, employees clicking away on Excel spreadsheets or running around retrieving things from the printer, or chatting, normal office behavior. The secretary showed off an empty cubicle. “You’ll sit here, but first, we will be doing your training in conference room 5501.” She continued, Y/N following on her heels. The secretary opened the door of the conference room, motioning for Y/N to go in. “Mr. Quartermaine will be training you today, he’ll be in in a moment.”
Bucky stiffened at the name. “Doll no!” He said to the astral body before he could stop himself.
Y/N set her belongings on the table, opening her mouth again to thank the secretary when the door closed, the lights shut off, and the glass windows turned to steel. She spun around, panicked, when the wall behind her opened up, several men coming at her. Y/N screamed, one man slamming his hand over her mouth, holding her in a headlock. Her legs kicked out, knocking over her coffee as she struggled, cries muffled. “Do it already!” The man holding her yelled. Another man shoved a needle into Y/N’s neck, and her world went black.
“If any of you guys has a weak constitution,” Strange said, looking directly at Bob, “look away now.”
Bob swallowed, Yelena and Ava interlaced their hands with his. “Bucky,” Sam whispered in his ear.
“I’ll be fine,” Bucky whispered back.
Y/N awoke, strapped down to an exam table. Her clothes had been replaced with a medical gown. The image of a hydra was painted onto the wall behind her. She screamed, the gag in her mouth stifling her cries. Throwing her weight around, she tried to break out of the restraints.
A set of sliding doors opened, revealing Quartermaine and a couple of other HYDRA agents. “You must be Y/N,” Quartermaine gloated, an evil grin forming on his face. “Welcome to your first day at your new job.”
Y/N shouted and flailed some more.
Quartermaine hovered over her. “Y/N, you ever hear of The Winter Soldier?” He grabbed a remote, turning a screen on, putting his hand on Y/N’s head and forcing it to the side. Y/N’s eyes widened at the footage, The Winter Soldier, tearing up the streets of Washington DC.
In real time, Bucky hung his head in shame.
Quartermaine clicked the button again, turning the film off. “Too bad for us, The Winter Soldier had someone who loved him. Steve Rogers took him from us. But you Y/N, the orphaned child of two Army parents, no friends, nobody will save you. Zimniy Soldat 2.0”
Y/N continued to struggle.
Quartermaine looked at his assistants. “Do it.”
One assistant held Y/N down as the other injected her with the serum. Y/N screamed and flailed in pain, body spasming uncontrollably as the serum took hold.
“Good God,” Walker muttered.
“It gets worse,” Strange warned.
None of them could watch all of what happened next, only occasionally looking at little increments. Y/N survived the serum, only to have her head shaved and forced into the chair. Her screams chilled them all to the bone. HYDRA beat her, tortured her, broke her, all soundtracked by screaming.
“It’s not working,” an agent, Quartermaine’s boss said. “She still has memories, she’s still refusing the programming.”
“I didn’t anticipate her to be this strong,” Quartermaine replied. “But I have a backup plan.”
“A backup plan?”
Quartermaine nodded. “Ever hear of a place called Kamar-Taj?”
“Magic? Really Quartermaine?”
“It’s worth a shot.”
Y/N cried out in the background.
“Get them here. And make sure they shut her up, I’m sick of hearing her scream.”
The next memory was two sorcerers, placing the spells on Y/N. Y/N screamed, the sound dying in her throat. “Wait,” Quartermaine said. “Can you leave her with crying?”
“Crying?” The sorcerer asked.
“Mhhmm. Leave it as a reminder. A punishment. What happens when you resist HYDRA.”
The sorcerer continued casting the spell.
Y/N, weakened, was thrown into the cell where Bucky and Walker found her. Quartermaine slapped her across the face. “Fight back!” Y/N remained still, a defiant expression on her face. Quartermaine punched her this time. “Fight back Soldat!” He kicked her in the stomach. “Do it! I know you are stronger than me!” He continued with the violence until his face got too close to her. Y/N had enough, she lunged up, this time Quartermaine screamed. The solitary light in the room made it hard to see what happened, but when Y/N released him, she spat something out, blood dripping down her mouth. Quartermaine held his hand to his ear, blood gushing out. “You bitch!” He bellowed, stomping out of the room. Y/N sat back, satisfied. Quartermaine returned a moment later with another agent and a baseball bat. “You wanna play games?”
No one watched the memory but they heard the crack.
“Chain her,” Quartermaine commanded. “And muzzle her too.”
Y/N laid on the floor, crying, her leg broken. She remained resigned, allowing the agent to chain her and muzzle her.
The team and the sorcerers watched silently, all horrified. “I knew it would be bad,” Walker said, “but I didn’t expect this.”
Y/N curled up on her mattress, still crying, but heard voices and yells outside.
“On three!” Bucky’s muffled voice yelled out. The door fell open, Y/N blinking in the harsh light, as the past versions of Bucky and Walker entered the cell.
Strange waved his hands, the memories ending, everyone back on the Sanctum Sanctorum. Y/N’s astral body floated back, guided by Wong, settling back into her body.
“You guys okay?” Strange asked, surveying the gathering of pale faces.
The team exchanged glances, checking on each other. “We’ll be fine,” Yelena declared.
“Will you be okay?” Bob addressed Strange.
“I have three eyes,” the sorcerer replied, “nothing fazes me anymore.”
Bob nodded. “Ah, o-wait what?”
“Is Ari-“ Alexei paused, correcting himself, “is Y/N going to be alright?”
“She will be,” Bucky said. “She has us.”
“Bucky?” An unfamiliar voice rang out across the room.
Everyone stilled, not sure who it was. Bucky on the other hand knew instantly, he spun around, focusing on Y/N, who Wong was helping out of the chair. He approached her slowly. “Doll?” He asked when he was right in front of her.
Y/N’s lips curled into a smile. “Bucky,” she said again.
Bucky’s heart swelled, his face breaking into a grin. He rushed at her, embracing her tightly. “It’s you!” He exclaimed, picking her up and spinning her around.
Y/N laughed, melodic and clear, just like how Bucky had dreamt it for months. “Yes it’s me!”
The rest of them dashed forward, breaking out in joyful celebration. Bucky set Y/N down, shielding her from the blow of the group hug, their bodies swaying. “Hey guys!” Y/N greeted.
“You can talk now!” Bob cried out.
Y/N shimmied so she could tousle Bob’s curls. “Yeah Bob, now I can talk shit when we play Smash Bros!
“She said my name!” Bob said happily.
“Sladkaya, your voice is as sweet as you,” Alexei said.
Y/N giggled. “Thanks Alexei!”
“Have you seen my maroon sweater?” Yelena asked randomly.
“Ava took it,” Y/N answered.
“Snitch!” Ava yelled, smiling at Y/N.
“So Y/N, will you marry me now?” Joaquin queried. Bucky shot him a glare.
“Joaquin, how many times do I have to tell you no,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes.
Sam cackled.
“You can’t laugh Sam, you’re also single.”
Sam stopped, insulted.
Walker opened his mouth to say something.
“Yes Walker,” Y/N huffed, “you’re still an asshole.”
Walker snorted. “It’s good to hear you say it out loud.”
“Oh you’ll be hearing more from me.”
Walker smirked.
Y/N turned back to Bucky, gazing at him fondly. “Bucky?”
“Yeah Doll.”
“Take me home.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the day was a blur of celebrations. Everyone wanted Y/N to talk, clamoring for her attention. Valentina came by for a check in and was shocked when Y/N spoke to her. Sam called Bruce so Y/N could thank him somewhat in person. Yelena and Alexei raided the alcohol stash getting everyone, except for Walker, Bucky, and Y/N hammered. The common room was a mess, but everyone agreed to clean it in the morning as they all stumbled to bed.
Bucky turned down his blanket, preparing to go to bed. It had been a long exciting day, he wanted to discuss something with Y/N, but figured it could wait.
His door came open, he didn’t need to look to know who it was. “Hey D- I mean, Y/N.”
“Please don’t call me that,” Y/N answered, shutting the door behind her. “I mean. I prefer it when you call me Doll.”
“Okay, Doll,” the nickname barely made it out of his throat as he turned to face her. Y/N had changed into her lilac dress, the one that had gotten Bucky so flustered when he first saw it. Hell it shook him now, his heart pounding in his chest. His eyes flickered to her right shoulder, the strap of the dress hanging down temptingly. Oh god, he thought, trying to shake the thought from his head as his cheeks burned red.
Y/N stepped closer to him. “We didn’t get much time together today, did we?”
“No. No we didn’t.” His throat felt dry.
“I figured we can talk now,” Y/N said, “if you feel like it that is?”
“Doll, I’ve been dying to talk to you like this.”
She smirked. “Dying huh?” Y/N tilted her head, the smell of her perfume wafting up. “So tell me, do you like my voice? Walker said I sound like a chipmunk.”
“Since when do you listen to what Walker says?”
Y/N giggled, taking another step.
Bucky sighed, a man long gone. “You sound exactly how I dreamed you would.”
Y/N took another step, her chest flush with his now. “You dream about me huh?” She asked, fiddling with his dog tags.
“Every night,” Bucky admitted.
Y/N gazed up at him, smiling. “I dream about you too.”
Bucky gazed down at her, trying hard not to let his breath hitch. “Yeah, and what do I do in your dreams?” He could play this game too.
She looked away for a moment, gathering her courage. Her eyes flashed up to his, a longing look in them. “You finally say the thing you’ve been telling me for months without speaking it out loud,” Y/N spoke in a riddle.
Fortunately for Bucky, he knew the answer to this puzzle. His metal hand came up, cupping her cheek, tilting her head up slightly more.
“Doll, I love you.”
Y/N pushed herself up, locking her lips against his. Bucky sighed happily into the kiss, lips brushing against hers gently, tenderly, hoping the action showed how much he had been wanting to say it. Y/N clutched his shirt, kissing him deeply. She guided him forward, which Bucky didn’t notice until his legs stumbled against the edge of the bed, sending them backwards, his back hitting the bed with a happy “oof.” Smirking against her lips, he gripped her waist tightly, flipping them over. Y/N let out a delighted squeal, settling underneath Bucky as her hands moved up, running through his hair.
Lungs screaming for air they broke apart, lips swollen, gasping. Bucky brushed the tip of his nose against hers. “Say it.”
“Say what?”
“The thing you’ve been telling me for months without speaking it out loud,” Bucky mimicked her words.
Y/N smiled beneath him. Her fingers gripped his hair, tugging him down closer to her.
“I love you Bucky.”
Bucky let out a sigh, moving so he could bury his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. Y/N let out a sigh of her own.
“You know,” Y/N said after a moment, “Yelena told me that these rooms are supposed to have a soundproof mode.”
“They do,” Bucky replied, still against her neck. “Why?”
“What do you say we put soundproof mode to the test?”
Bucky adjusted, sitting up so he could look Y/N in the face. “That’s bold of you Doll.”
She grinned. “I’ve been silent for months, I think I deserve to be bold.” She paused for a moment. “So what do you say sar-geant?” Y/N rolled her hips against him, accentuating the way she split up the title.
Bucky smirked. With quick movements, he pinned her hips down with his metal arm, lowering himself and taking her lips in a kiss. This one was hungrier, claiming, full of love and want and lust. Y/N moaned into his mouth, her body arching into his. Pulling away, Bucky rested his forehead against hers, his blue eyes locking with hers, the pupils blown out with desire.
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 11)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check These Out
Author’s Note/Warnings: ANGST. A very tense situation where we think someone died. Everyone may be a little out of character in this one given the situation. I asked google what Yelena’s middle name would be cause I wanted Alexei to government name her so it could be wrong/written wrong but it makes sense in context. Enjoy.
It was late. The Thunderbolts had decided to do movie night after dinner, which meant dishes got put off. Bucky was going to help Ariel* but had gotten a call from Sam. “Get to a secure video line,” Sam instructed him, “it’s important.”
“Sorry Doll,” Bucky apologized, “but I gotta go.”
Ariel* nodded, there weren’t that many dishes anyway, most of it could go in the dishwasher. Bucky ran off to the elevator, on a mission to meet Sam. Ariel* stood in the lowlight of the kitchen, scrubbing the caked on debris on a casserole dish as the rest of the team sat on the couch, huddled together, planning.
“It’s too dangerous,” Walker whispered.
“It’s the only way,” Bob insisted.
“Bob, you said yourself you don’t like doing it,” Ava said.
“This has gone on too long,” Bob pressed on. “Every lead we have had has lead to a dead end. If I do it, we can get somewhere.”
“And what happens if he comes out?” Walker asked.
“You guys brought me back before, you can do it again.” Bob stared at the team, flashing them a confident smile. “Please. I want to do this. It’s the only thing we have left.”
Alexei sighed. “Bob’s right. We have tried everything else.”
“Bucky’s not going to like this,” Walker interjected.
“Bucky doesn’t need to know,” Yelena said.
“If we do this,” Ava started, “it has to be majority vote. All in favor raise your hands.” Her, Alexei, Yelena, and Bob raised their hands. Walker looked at them incredulously.
“It’s settled,” Yelena declared. Bob rose from his seat, heading to the kitchen.
“If this goes wrong,” Walker began, “Bucky’s gonna flip.”
“Then make sure it doesn’t,” Yelena snapped.
Walker stood back, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
“Hey Ariel*,” Bob greeted shyly. Ariel* waved at him, soap suds flying. Bob turned back to the team, gathering his courage. He swallowed, throat scratchy, before he spoke. “Hey. I think I have a way to help you.”
Ariel* set the dish down, shutting the water off, listening.
“I have this power,” Bob explained, “I can touch people and see their darkest memories. I’ve used it before, but didn’t have full control of it, but I think we’ll be fine now, don’t have to worry about the other guy.”
Ariel*’s brow furrowed.
“Bob, hurry it up!” Yelena called out, not rudely, but she watched the elevator, keeping a lookout for Bucky.
Bob looked at Ariel*, determined. “I think I can touch you and see your memories. And we can figure out who you are from there. But you have to be willing to do it, and quickly, we don’t have much time.”
Ariel* scanned the team’s faces, debating it. They all gave her a subtle nod, except for Walker, who slightly cocked his head, uncertain. She took a deep breath, glancing back at Bob and nodding in agreement.
“Okay,” Bob said, “let’s move over here just in case.” He led Ariel* to the center of the common area, the team standing around them in a circle. Bob extended his hand to Ariel*. His eyes flashed gold. “You ready?”
Ariel* hesitated for a moment, but in the end, she took Bob’s hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky logged into a secure video call, Sam’s face appearing on the screen, with a smirk. “Alright Sam, whaddya got?”
“Guess who I found,” Sam answered, hitting a button on his end and making the call a three way with a giant mass of green with glasses.
“Bruce!” Bucky exclaimed.
“Hey man,” Bruce said, his chill voice a funny contrast to his hulking appearance. “How are ya?”
“Depends on what you have to tell us,” Bucky replied.
“Yeah, Sam told me about that woman you found. Ariana?”
“Ariel*,” Bucky corrected, “we call her that as a placeholder.”
“Ah, my bad,” Bruce apologized. “Still, the poor thing. Sounds like she’s been through a lot.”
“She has,” Sam said. “But Bruce, the reason we are contacting you is this. There was no information on who Ariel* is, but we found HYDRA files on witchcraft. And Bucky, you guys interrogated an agent who confirmed it was used on Ariel* to brainwash and silence her right?”
“Yes,” Bucky confirmed.
“Both the files and the agent referenced the same word,” Sam continued. “We would’ve asked Wanda because we think she’s mentioned it before, but we believe she is dead.”
“What?” Bruce gasped. “Aw man, that’s awful. I know I didn’t get along with her, but my condolences.”
“Thanks,” Sam said. “We’re wondering if she ever talked about this with you.”
“What was the word she mentioned?” Bruce asked.
“Kamar-Taj,” Sam and Bucky said simultaneously.
“Oh!” Bruce cried out. “That has nothing to do with Wanda! The person you’re looking for is Strange!”
“Yeah, well, I assume anyone that messes with witchcraft as a torture method is strange,” Bucky said.
“No. No,” Bruce replied. “Strange as in Doctor Stephen Strange. Arrogant guy with a cape, makes yellow sparks with his hands, kinda looks like Vincent Price?”
“Oh yeah,” Sam interjected. “That wizard guy who made the portals!”
“I thought he was a sorcerer,” Bucky chimed in.
“A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat,” Sam stated.
“Whatever,” Bucky waved him off with one hand while grabbing a pen and paper. “So Kamar-Taj is another name for this Doctor Strange?”
“No. Kamar-Taj is the name of his home base,” Bruce clarified. “It’s where all the sorcerers go to train.”
“Okay,” Bucky scribbled away. “Do you know where this place is?”
“No,” Bruce said, “but I know where the New York Sanctum Sanctorum is.”
“The what what?” Sam asked.
“The Sanctum Sanctorum,” Bruce restated. “Major cities have a building that’s like a portal between other sanctums and Kamar-Taj. Strange lives at the New York one.”
“Address?” Bucky queried.
“177A Bleecker Street, Greenwich Village,” Bruce recited from memory. “And if Strange isn’t there, Wong probably is. Just tell him you’re there for Strange and that Bruce sent you, Wong will take care of it.”
“Bruce, do you have any other contact info for this guy?” Sam added. “If some of his students have defected to HYDRA he needs to know.”
“Not off the top of my head n-“
Walker threw the door open, a frantic look on his face. Bucky spun in his chair, a sense of dread washing over him when he saw Walker’s terrified expression. “I told them not to do it,” Walker said.
Bucky turned back to his video call. “Thanks for this but-“
“No problem,” Sam said, “take care of it.”
“Thanks again Bruce.”
“Anytime Bucky,” Bruce and Sam logged off.
Bucky hopped up from his chair, following on Walker’s heels as he dashed to the stairs, the elevator too slow. “Walker? What’s happening?”
“Bob decided to use his powers to see Ariel*’s memories.”
“HE WHAT?” Bucky shouted.
“I tried to stop him! But I was outvoted and Ariel*. She agreed.”
A pang hit Bucky’s chest. He pushed past Walker, running as fast as his legs could carry him. “ARIEL*!” He kicked open the door to the common room, taking in the chaos. Multiple voices screamed, Yelena and Ava tugging on Bob and Ariel*’s arms, attempting to separate them. Bob’s legs were black up to his knees, Alexei with his arms around his waist, trying to pull Bob off. Ariel* knelt on the floor, writhing in pain, her face screwed up in anguish. Tears flowed down her face. She no longer held onto Bob, her hand loose against his arm as she scratched, trying to get him to release her wrist. She threw her weight backwards, to no avail.
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?” Bucky bellowed, dashing over to them. He pushed the women aside, fingers grabbing onto Bob’s. He didn’t want to hurt Bob, but he couldn’t be gentle either. Moving one finger up, Bob’s eyes flashed yellow, gone, possessed by whatever power was in him. “BOB LET HER GO!”
“Bob’s not here anymore,” a cold voice answered.
Ariel* reached out with her free hand, grasping at Bucky’s leg. “I know Doll, I’m trying!” Panicked, she searched around, making eye contact with Walker’s shield on the wall. Her eyes flickered between it and Walker, pleading. Walker cast his eyes away, wanting to avoid eye contact with her.
“No,” Walker said to her. “It’ll hurt you more.”
“Bob!” Bucky begged.
Ariel* tossed her weight to the side, clutching Walker’s ankle. He gazed down at her tear stained face. Her lips moved, soundless, but the understanding was there. Please. Do it.
Walker growled. “Shit!” He jogged off, grabbing his shield off of its stand on the wall.
“Walker what are you doing?” Ava shouted.
“Get out of the way!” Walker commanded.
“Walker,” Bucky said, releasing Bob. “What are you-“ he was cut off by Alexei grabbing him and moving him away from Bob and Ariel*.
“Ariel*!” Walker yelled, shifting the shield and gathering momentum with a run.
Ariel* stilled, bracing herself.
Walker smacked her with his shield hard, the force of it sent Ariel* and Bob flying. Ariel* pulled Bob flush to her, protecting him with her body as she hit the wall so hard, a crater formed, only hers and Bob’s legs showing.
“DOLL!” Bucky screamed. He ran over, falling to his knees and sliding for the last few inches.
“Ava,” Alexei said. “Go get medical.” Ava phased out of the room.
“DOLL!” Bucky snatched up debris and threw it aside, uncovering Ariel* below Bob, her body limp.
“Bucky,” Bob groaned weakly, struggling to roll over. “I was trying to help.”
Alexei came over and picked Bob up out of the wreckage. Bob was groggy, but he was unharmed. Bucky ignored him, moving Ariel* into his lap. Droplets of blood trickled out of her mouth, her eyes closed. “Doll,” he whispered, gently tapping her face. “Doll come on,” he put two fingers to her neck, finding a pulse. He lowered his head by her chest, listening to her breathing. “Wake up.”
Walker ran over, face going pale when he saw Ariel*. “Oh my god,” he dropped his shield.
Something snapped in Bucky. With a roar, he lunged up, grabbing Walker by the throat with his vibranium hand and holding him up to the wall. “WALKER YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!”
“Bucky!” Yelena cried out. “It’s not his fault, he tried to stop us.”
Walker clawed at Bucky’s arm, gurgling. “She asked me to!” He choked out. “She asked me to!”
Bucky tightened his grip. “You better pray she’s okay. Or I swear to God I’ll-“
Bucky felt two fingertips on the skin of his ankle. He glanced down, Ariel* conscious, but feeble. “Doll.” He dropped Walker, kneeling down by her side. “Where does it hurt, show me.” She reached up, cupping Bucky’s cheek, thumb tracing across his stubble. She mouthed a name; Bob. “Bob’s over there,” he answered.
“I’m fine,” Bob called out from the couch. “I have a headache but that’s it.”
“You’re gonna have worse in a moment,” Bucky said through gritted teeth, but Ariel* shook her head. She pointed at herself.
“Here!” Ava announced, a medical team appearing behind her with a stretcher.
Bucky moved aside, letting the medical team examine Ariel* and clip her to the stretcher. “Looks like she’ll be fine,” the doctor said. “Seems like her healing capabilities are already working.”
They rolled her off to the medical floor. Bucky remained still, jaw clenched, fists shoved into his pockets before he did anything reckless.
“Bob,” Yelena said softly, “did you see anything?”
“Nothing much,” Bob answered. “There was an office. Then a cell. They shaved her head. And then screaming and pain, loads of pain. And then he showed up. I was trying to fight him off. I’m sorry.”
“You better be,” Bucky hissed.
“Barnes,” Alexei went up to him, putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “We’re sorry but, he was trying to help.”
Bucky slapped Alexei’s hand away. “You guys almost killed her!”
“She agreed to do it,” Ava stated.
“Yeah and you let her,” Bucky said sarcastically. “You knew how dangerous it could get and you guys let her.”
“And where were you?” Yelena asked angrily. “Off playing virtual beer pong with Sam?”
“Yelena Alexeyevna,” Alexei scolded.
“For your information,” Bucky started. “Sam found Dr. Banner. And guess what Dr. Banner knew. What Kamar-Taj is. And you know what else? He gave us the address.”
Yelena focused on the floor, ashamed of herself.
“So maybe if you idiots actually thought about this further and waited 30 minutes, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess! Would we?”
The team averted their gaze, embarrassed by their actions. “Walker tried to stop us,” Bob said after a moment of tense silence.
“Did he now?” Bucky stepped in front of Walker, who recoiled, thinking he was going to get struck again. “Next time try harder.” Bucky did an about face, he needed to get out of this room. “I’m going to Kamar-Taj tomorrow. Alone! And don’t try to stop me!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky couldn’t stay in the medical wing, he felt guilty about it knowing how Ariel* had stayed by his side all night when he had burns, but he couldn’t look at her in the bed. She was healing but she looked so frail and damaged. So he laid in his bed, curled up in a ball, reflecting on his failures. I should’ve thought about finding Bruce sooner. I should’ve remembered that Strange guy. I should’ve found a way to break her and Bob up. Now she’s in there because of me.
The handle to his door clicked, the door squeaking open. Bucky rolled over, sensing Ariel* in the dim moonlight, a brace on her wrist. “Doll.”
Ariel* shut the door behind her, rushing over to his bed. Bucky sat up, reaching out for her. “Doll. Are you okay? Are you in pain? Do you need med-“
She shushed him with a finger to his lips. Her hands skimmed up the sides of his face, holding him tenderly. She gazed into his eyes, a worried expression set into her face.
Bucky broke.
He gulped, trying to keep it in, but his emotions bubbled over, sobbing. This time the roles were reversed, Ariel* pulled him close, holding him as he cried against her. “Doll don’t do that again,” Bucky said, voice shaky. “I’ve never been more terrified in my life.” She rocked him, like a mother soothing a child. Bucky clung to her. “You’re okay,” he said, more to himself than her.
Ariel* held him like that until his tears dried out. Bucky pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, hands finding hers and gripping them tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve figured out how to stop it. You shouldn’t have been put into that situation in the first place.”
She released his hands, going for her phone. I shouldn’t have agreed. I was desperate for answers and didn’t think it through. Please don’t be mad at them, it’s just as much my fault as it is theirs. You should be angry with me not them.
“I can never be angry at you. I….” He trailed off. He wanted to say it, but the words caught in his throat. What’s wrong with you? You almost lost her today and can’t say it. What are you waiting for? Say it. Ariel* blinked, waiting for him. “I just can’t,” Bucky said finally.
Ariel*’s mouth twitched, a gesture that Bucky couldn’t make sense of. She wrote another message on her phone. Bucky, I’m so sorry I put you through that. I know you feel like it’s your job to protect me and help me, and I realize that probably made you feel worse. I’m sorry.
“No apology needed Doll, I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Ariel*’s fingers brushed against his cheek again. She stretched across Bucky, putting her phone on the nightstand. Then she tugged at his blanket.
“Yeah, you can sleep here tonight,” Bucky said, moving it up so she could get in. Ariel* climbed in next to him, maneuvering so she was lying on her side that didn’t have the wrist brace. Bucky grabbed an extra pillow, placing it in front of her. “Use this to elevate your arm.” Ariel* did, setting her wrist on top of it for a second before lifting it off.
“What’s wrong?”
Ariel* reached back, taking hold of Bucky’s arm. She moved it, draping it over her side, his hand resting against her stomach. Her head turned, looking at him for signs of restraint.
“Oh.” Bucky said. He shifted, tugging her closer, pressing his chest against her back. His other hand snaked up below her body, holding her tightly. “This okay?”
Ariel* gave him a nod and a smile, returning her head to a sleeping position. Her non injured hand came up, settling on top of his. She patted his hand twice.
“Goodnight Doll.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Bucky woke in the morning, he was no longer holding onto a person, rather he was hugging the pillow he had given Ariel* for her wrist. “Doll?” He grumbled, sitting up. “Doll?” He listened for her in his bathroom, but heard nothing. Standing up, he searched the bathroom. Empty.
Maybe she went back to her room?
He walked over to her room, giving the door a knock. After a moment, he opened the door. No sign of Ariel*.
He checked everywhere. The gym, the conference rooms, the interrogation rooms, the roof, the weapons rooms, the lobby. When he finally came across the common room, he was frazzled, and it showed.
“Bucky?” Walker asked, seeing how Bucky shoved past Bob, scanning the room.
“Have any of you seen Ariel* today?” Bucky queried.
“No, why?” Ava answered.
Bucky’s stomach churned. “No. Oh God. No.” He rushed to the window, staring down at the streets below, as if he could pick her out from the ant sized pedestrians.
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 10)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check These Out
“Can someone tell me why the fuck you guys are calling me in the middle of the fucking night?” Val asked, venom in her voice.
“Val, we wouldn’t call you unless it’s serious,” Yelena said.
“So tell me, what is so seri…..” she trailed off, catching sight of what remained of the interrogation room. Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine was not a woman that could be easily silenced. Yet she stood there, staring, mouth agape, unable to say a word.
“We were interrogating a HYDRA agent,” Yelena started, cut off when Val spun on her heel angrily at the acronym, glaring daggers at Bucky.
“Barnes!” Val demanded. “Explain.”
“Actually,” Ava interrupted. “It wasn’t Bucky.”
Val crossed her arms. “Then who was it?”
The team exchanged a glance, before Alexei sighed, opening the door of the neighboring room. Walker sat, alone, still covered in blood, his facial expression strangely neutral. Val drew a hand over her face in annoyance. “Of fucking course it was.” She inhaled sharply. “Alright. I’ll deal with this. The rest of you get out of my sight!” She entered the room, slamming the door shut.
The team stood outside, stunned. Bucky cleared his throat, bringing order to the situation. “It’s late, let’s get some sleep.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Val’s team had done clean up overnight. Val stood in the common room, exhausted, but still maintaining her fierce, commanding nature, staring the rest of the team down. “If this ever happens again,” she warned.
“It won’t” Yelena reassured her.
Val did an about face, smacking the elevator button, and left.
Ava let out a breath she’d been holding. “Can’t believe we had to do that.”
“Not like we had any choice,” Bob said.
Bucky watched as they discussed, backing out of the room slowly. Sticking to the shadows, he snuck down the hall to where their bedrooms were. He had heard Walker in the middle of the night, stomping back to his room and the sound of the shower turning on, but he had never heard him leave. Pausing in front of the door, Bucky lifted his fist, debating if he should. Walker and him had never gotten along, what if this made it worse? He lowered his hand, shifting so he could return to the rest of them.
“Just come in Bucky,” Walker snapped from behind the door.
Dammit. Bucky twisted the handle, entering the room tentatively. Walker, now clean, stood over his bed, making it. “I didn’t get kicked off the team yet if that’s what you’re wondering,” Walker said in his usual condescending tone.
“That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then what?”
Bucky took another step, approaching him carefully. “Why’d you do it Walker?”
Walker froze, the blanket slipping from his fingers. “I did it because you and Ariel* couldn’t.”
Bucky’s brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“If you did it,” Walker explained, “and it got out to the public somehow, everyone would say that you never recovered. That you still are The Winter Soldier. And that all this time you were playing us by acting healed. If Ariel* did it, they’d lock her up. She’d never see the light of day again. But me? I have a history of public violence and losing my temper. If I did it, it would be just another ‘oh Walker lost it’ moment. Sure I’d face consequences, but nothing like you guys.”
Bucky studied him, his reasoning actually making sense to him. “Wow. That’s surprisingly unselfish of you.”
Walker finally faced Bucky. “Listen, I know I’m an asshole, but that guy, that guy was a sadistic jerk. And the things he was saying about Ariel*.” He sighed, trying to compose himself. “Look, I know Ariel* and I don’t always get along, but, she’s nice. I don’t know why HYDRA took her for what they did, it’s not in her nature. And then he talked about her like she was some sort of machine you can break and rebuild and…..it made me angry. It made all of us angry. So I made the decision, I was going to get whatever information I could out of him, no matter the means.”
Bucky crossed his arms. “But did it work?”
“Kind of,” Walker said. “He didn’t give me a name, he said all the files he had gotten were mostly redacted. But Ariel* was snatched because she is no one.”
“She is someone,” Bucky protested.
“No one as in she has no connections. Remember how Ariel* said she moved around a lot? And how she knew to leave yellow flowers for Lamar? One or both of her parents were military. Quartermaine said her files were redacted but mentioned this.”
“And her parents?”
“Dead. No parents. No siblings. Moved around so much, no friends either. That way when HYDRA took her-“
“No one would be able to report her as missing.”
“Bingo.”
Bucky pondered this. “But what about jobs? Her landlord? Or a mortgage company? Her bank? I get what he said, but somebody out there had to notice. Hell the Korean lady noticed she was gone!”
“But she assumed she moved away,” Walker corrected. He moved towards his nightstand, digging around in it. “I know, too many variables. Too many holes. But I did get a concrete piece of information.” He held up a sticky notepad.
“What is it?”
Walker handed him the pad. “An address. Ariel*’s before she was taken.”
Bucky stared at the address written on the sticky note in disbelief. After all this time, they finally had something. All they needed to do was find this place, find the landlord, look at their files. “Walker….this….I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thanks.”
Walker waved him off. “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for her. She’s been a blank slate long enough.” He turned around, returning to the task of making his bed.
Bucky knew this meant the conversation was over. Without another word, he exited the room, closing the door with a click.
A few moments later, Walker heard the doorknob turn, the door coming open slowly. He rotated so he faced his visitor. “Dammit Bucky, just go away al- oh….it’s you.”
Ariel* stood in the doorway, shutting the door behind her. She stared at Walker, waiting for permission to come in further.
“What do you want?” He asked, annoyed. “I’ve had enough of dealing with people today. So say what you need and scram.”
Ariel* walked up to him, pausing right in front of him. Walker expected her to reach for her phone, typing some sort of witty insult. Instead her arms came up, wrapping around him. “Wh..what?” He looked down, confused, Ariel* was giving him a hug. He didn’t know what to do, so he brought his arms up, returning it. “Okay….we’re hugging I guess?”
Ariel* pulled back, releasing him.
Walker understood without him having to read a text. “You heard all of that didn’t you?”
Ariel* nodded, actually smiling at him for once. Her hand reached up, landing on top of his hair, patting the top of his head. It was like he was a dog and she was saying good boy. Her way of throwing sarcastic insults back at him.
“Yeah yeah,” Walker shoved her hand away. “Walker isn’t an asshole for once. Whoopdie doo.”
Ariel* grinned at him. Walker rolled his eyes. He mirrored her action, patting her head but also tousling her hair. “Okay I get it we’re friends now. Now go away!”
Ariel* made her way out of the room like nothing happened.
“And don’t tell the team!”
Ariel* gave him a look that said oh I’m definitely telling them, as she closed the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky held his car door open as Ariel* sat herself down in the passenger’s seat. He had given her the news that Walker found her old address. As Bucky went to close the door, he noticed Ariel* fidgeting, twisting the hem of her shirt. “Doll?”
She glanced up at him, reaching over to the driver’s side and smacking the seat. Bucky understood, he closed her door, walked around the car, and settled in right as Ariel* finished typing her message. Is it weird that I’m nervous?
“No,” Bucky answered. “We’re about to find out who you are, I think that’s normal.” He grabbed her hand and brushed his thumb across her knuckles, a gesture that had become second nature to him in the months that she had been there. Ariel* smiled at him, putting her other hand on top of his.
“Alright,” Bucky said, turning the car on and entering the address into his GPS. “Let’s go.”
A yawn came from the backseat. “About damn time,” Yelena said, rising up from the floor and stretching.
“Yelena!” Bucky exclaimed. “What the hell?”
Yelena adjusted and clipped herself into a seat. “You’re not doing this alone Barnes. I want to know too.”
Ava materialized next to Yelena, causing Yelena to yelp in surprise. “I’m coming too.”
One of the back doors opened, Walker climbing in, smushing Ava into Yelena. “Me too. I’m the one who found the place!”
The door on Yelena’s side opened, Alexei grumbling when he realized all the back seat space was taken. “It’s okay, I’ll fit in trunk.” He shut the door, going to the back and lifted up the trunk giving out a surprised yell.
“Oh hey Alexei!” Bob greeted from the trunk.
Ariel* laughed noiselessly, her shoulders shaking as she plopped against her seat, clutching her stomach. Bucky ran a hand over his face, rolling his eyes. “I work with actual children,” he complained.
“Oh you aren’t our dad, but somebody here wants to call you Daddy,” Yelena mumbled, causing Ava to snort.
“What was that Belova?” Bucky asked.
“I said we should take a van,” Yelena lied. “Too cramped in here.”
They switched to one of their mission vans much to Bucky’s dismay. Thankfully it was a short drive, only 20 minutes according to the GPS.
“Turn left, then your destination will be on the right,” the GPS instructed as the team waited at a red light.
“Oh come on!” Yelena whined from the backseat, leaning forward in anticipation. Several other voices joined her.
Ariel* looked at Bucky, a worried expression set into her face. Bucky adjusted his hands on the wheel, using his left to steer and offering Ariel* his right. She held it tightly, as if it was her lifeline to safety. The light switched to green, Bucky stepping on it and taking a turn to reveal a half demolished apartment building.
Bucky’s heart sank the moment it came into view. Half of the building remained intact, but the other half was empty space, scorched brick lining the jagged edges, exposing long abandoned rooms to the elements. Bucky slowed to a stop, pulling over at the sidewalk. “No,” he said. “No no no no!” He smacked the steering wheel in frustration.
“That….that can’t be right,” Bob piped up from the back. “Maybe it’s the neighboring building!”
“Walker!” Yelena punched him in the shoulder angrily. “You wrote the address wrong!”
“I didn’t write it wrong! That’s the address Quartermaine gave me!”
“He lied,” Ava reasoned. “That’s probably it.”
“I don’t think so,” Alexei interrupted. “Look.”
Ariel* had gotten out of the van, approaching the ruined building slowly. The team scrambled out, joining her on the pavement. She ascended the concrete stairs at the front door, hand ghosting against the hand rail. “Doll?” Bucky asked, coming up next to her. Ariel* bit her lip to keep it from quivering. She turned to Bucky and the team, her face appearing sick. A simple nod was her statement.
“Shit,” Walker sighed. “I’m sorry Ariel*.”
Bucky shifted on his feet. “Not if I can help it,” he said, determined. He ran towards the next building, searching desperately.
“Barnes?” Ava called out.
“Find the landlord!” He answered.
The team spread out, entering the various buildings on the street, searching. Bob stuck his head out of the front door of one, waving one arm. “Landlady’s office is in here!”
Everyone rushed to that building, coming upon a middle aged woman, staring at them in confusion. “Can I help you?” She asked, trepidation in her voice.
“Our friend, she has amnesia,” Walker explained, grabbing Ariel*’s arm and guiding her to the front of the group. “She doesn’t remember who she is and we think she lived in the burned down building. Do you recognize her?” He gave Ariel* a push towards the landlady.
The landlady didn’t even examine Ariel*. “Sorry folks, I bought these properties after that building was burnt down.”
Multiple people groaned.
“The previous guy left his records behind though,” the landlady suggested. “Maybe there’s something in there.”
“Please,” Bucky begged.
The landlady led them to her office, striding over to her filing cabinet. Unlocking a drawer with a set of keys she had clipped to her belt, she sorted through the folders, searching for the specific building. “Here we go!” She pulled out a thick folder, bringing it over to her desk. Bucky put his hands on Ariel*’s shoulders, hoping it felt comforting. The team gathered around the desk, craning their necks so they could read the files. The landlady flipped the folder open. A blank page stared at the group.
“That’s strange,” the landlady said, fingers pulling the pages apart only to reveal more blank pages. After a few moments, she slammed the folder closed. “Let me try my computer, could be something digital.”
Ariel*’s hands snaked up, resting on top of Bucky’s as the landlady combed through her computer. She tilted her head back, Bucky sensing sadness in her eyes, and gave her head a subtle shake. Bucky didn’t need to read a message to understand, she knew they weren’t going to find anything.
“Digital file for that building is blank too,” the landlady stated, giving the team a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, I wish I could help your friend. Maybe some of the other residents in the area recognize her?”
“Thanks anyway,” Yelena said, herding the team out. Bucky and Ariel* lingered behind, Bucky observing how Ariel*’s body language became closed off, guarded. She was losing hope, they needed to find information fast.
“Alright,” Yelena commanded once they were outdoors again. “Ava take the building on the right. Dad you take the right. Bob and I will comb this one. Walker across the street. Bucky and Ariel*-“
Ariel* approached Yelena, taking her wrist. Yelena stopped, giving Ariel* her full attention. Ariel* shook her head solemnly, mouthing the word No. “But Ariel*,” Yelena stammered.
“Do what she says Yelena,” Bucky said, already opening the passenger’s door for Ariel*. “She’s had enough for today.”
They drove back to the tower in silence, Bucky observing Ariel* from his peripheral. She slumped against the window, watching the pedestrians on the street with no interest. His eyes flickered to the rear view mirror, the team glancing back at him with concerned expressions. Bucky had barely gotten the van parked at the tower when Ariel* threw her door open, running out of the van and towards the building. “Doll!” Bucky called after her, but Alexei’s big hand grabbed him by the shoulder.
“Let her go,” Alexei advised. “She’s had a rough day, she just needs some time to herself.”
Bucky inhaled sharply, knowing that Alexei was right. He took a step back, pacing around for a moment. “DAMMIT!” He yelled, bringing his metal fist down on the hood of the van, leaving a dent.
“Yeah and how many people are you gonna kill to do it?” Ava asked sarcastically.
Walker puffed out his chest defensively. “At least I did something!”
“Oh you did something alright,” Yelena scoffed.
“And what did you do? Just stood there-“
“EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!” Bucky bellowed. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
The team recoiled, having never heard Bucky this angry before.
“Barnes,” Alexei said softly. “Walk it off. You’re no help if you’re like this.”
“Yeah, I know,” Bucky muttered, stomping towards the building. “I’m no help to Ariel*.”
Only Alexei and Walker heard the comment with their hearing. “That’s not what he meant,” Walker defended Alexei. “And you know it!”
Bucky slammed the door on him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours later, Bucky couldn’t sit still. He made and remade his bed, paced the room, folded and refolded clothes, anything to keep his hands busy and his mind off of his failure. None of it worked. Frustrated, he grabbed his gear and made his way to the gym.
Hard rock music blasted from a speaker, the noise hitting him like a brick wall when he entered. Ariel* was standing in front of a punching bag, punching and kicking incorrectly, her face covered in sweat and anger. A man’s voice screamed out of the speaker, “I’ve given up, I’m sick of feeling. Is there nothing you can say? Take it all away. I’m suffocating. Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me.”
“Your form is wrong,” Bucky said gently, going to stand next to Ariel*. Ariel* gave him a hard glare. “You’ll hurt your fists if you keep doing that. Want me to show you?”
Ariel* kicked the punching bag so hard, it flew off of its hook, thudding into the wall and cracking it. Bucky put his tongue in his cheek, “Impressive,” he complimented.
Ariel* let out a noiseless, sarcastic snort.
“Put me out of my fucking misery,” the singer screeched on the speakers. Ariel* gestured to the speaker, her way of saying ditto.
Bucky clung to his towel, not liking the situation. It wasn’t that Ariel* wasn’t entitled to these feelings, he knew that, he just hated seeing her succumb to the darkness like that. He spent the majority of his life in that darkness, he knew what that could do to the mind. He reached over, pressing stop on the speaker. Ariel* stared at him, offended.
“This isn’t going to get us anywhere Doll,” Bucky said. “Not saying you’re not allowed to feel like this, but trust me, rage holds you down.”
She snatched her phone, which had been lying next to the speaker up, angrily typing. I’m angry all the time Bucky. I don’t let it show, but I just can’t anymore. Not after what happened today. Might as well put my anger to good use and train. I was made to be a killing machine anyway.
“Don’t call yourself that.”
She stamped her foot, writing another message. Then what am I?
Bucky dropped his gym things to the floor, taking a step closer to her. “You are a strong woman,” he began, “and I don’t mean from the serum. You have gone through something unimaginable and come out on the other side. You are funny and witty and have a sharp tongue. You’re affectionate. And you’re talented, the way you can hear a song and immediately know what notes are being played and replicate it is insane. Or the way you can figure out what is in a dish and reconstruct it even better? Both of those show how smart you are too. And I know nobody else will admit it, but Doll, you’re the glue who holds us together.”
She waved her hand dismissively.
“It’s true Doll,” Bucky grabbed her by the shoulders and made her face him. “Listen, we were a team before, but we still fought a lot. I mean, we fight more now, but everyone is different now because of you. Alexei found his purpose again, you’re not going to replace Natasha, but he’s acting more of a dad to Yelena now because of you. Yelena’s inner child is being healed, between you and Bob, she’s much lighter now. Bob still has his bad days, but there’s not that many of them because he knows you’ll stick by him. You playing his games with him and teaching how to cook, it helps him, I can tell. Hell, even Walker has mellowed out. Not much but he’s like 2% more tolerable now.”
She giggled at that last statement. When she was done, she stared into Bucky’s blue eyes, tapping her index finger against his chest. Her method of saying what about you?
“You get me Doll,” was his answer.
Ariel*’s brow furrowed. She stepped back, holding her arm in front of her like a shield.
“Steve and Sam sympathized,” Bucky explained, correctly deducing that she was mimicking Captain America. “But they don’t understand. You, you understand me. Because you’ve been through the same. Doll, for the first time since the 40s, I feel seen. Truly seen. Like I’m a whole person again, not just the good half of one. You make me….you make all of us, better people. You’re our friend, our family. You might not have your name or much of your memories but you have us, we all care about you.” He approached her again, taking her hand.
“You are someone.”
In any other context, it would’ve sounded like a half assed insult masquerading as a compliment. But to Ariel*, it meant everything, given the way she rushed at Bucky, giving him a tight hug. Bucky held her tightly. “And I’m sorry.”
She popped her head up, tilting it in confusion.
“I haven’t been able to find anything for you,” Bucky explained. “I’ve failed you, I am failing you. If you have to be mad at anybody it should be me.”
Ariel* put her finger to his lips, shushing him as she shook her head vigorously, hair flying.
“You’re not mad at me?” Bucky asked once she removed her finger.
She hugged him again, head resting on his chest. Bucky relaxed. “Thanks Doll, I was getting worried.”
Ariel* released him, giving him a gentle pat on the back. She motioned towards the felled punching bag, typing on her phone again. I’ll tell Val I can pay for that, have her take it out of my paycheck.
“Oh don’t worry about it. Just blame Walker. That’s what Alexei and I do all the time.”
She laughed silently.
“Speaking of Walker,” Bucky began, “I hacked into his HBO Max. They have An American in Paris. Wanna go mess up his watch history?”
She grinned, nodding quickly. Ariel* bent over to pick up her speaker, but Bucky stopped her grabbing both of their belongings. Then he offered her his arm, both of them leaving the gym feeling lighter. “Anything for you Doll,” Bucky whispered. “Anything.”
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 8)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check These Out
Author’s note: there is a graphic injury this chapter. Proceed with caution
Bucky was late for his guitar lesson. He walked into Ariel*’s room, eyes downcast. Ariel*, who had been standing in the middle of the room with a stern expression and her arms crossed softened when she saw him. “Can we just listen to music today Doll?” Bucky asked, sounding tired.
She nodded, putting her guitar away in its case. Bucky sighed, plopping onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. Ariel* joined him, lying on her side with her chin propped up by her hand, waiting for him to explain.
“Sam and Joaquin need to borrow me for a mission,” Bucky said unprompted.
Ariel* blinked, waiting for the but.
Bucky turned his head so he could make eye contact with her. “It involves a HYDRA base. That’s all I can say.”
His body tensed up; yes he was deprogrammed, in therapy, most people would say he was healed, but every time he had to go inside a HYDRA base, he dreaded it. Last time was lucky, he had found Ariel* before it was too late for her. It didn’t mean he wanted to go to another one though.
Ariel* shuddered. Bucky reached over, taking her free hand in his. “If the mission allows, I’m going to look for any information they have on you. I promise.”
Ariel* gave his hand a squeeze, but shook her head no. Letting go, she grabbed her phone, typing out a message. Your safety comes first. I don’t want you taking risks just to get information on me.
Bucky’s brow quirked, surprised at this. “But Doll, if I can get the information-“
She put a finger to his lips, shushing him. And there’s a chance this base doesn’t have any files on me. Bucky, if you get hurt trying to find out who I am, I’m never going to forgive myself.
Ariel* gave him a chance to read the message before continuing. Bucky, if it comes down to my identity and your safety, you get out of there. As much as I want to know who I am, I want you to come home safely. Promise me Bucky, promise me you won’t go looking if it’s too dangerous.
Bucky read her words, preparing a protest. But when his eyes met Ariel*’s again, he froze. She pleaded with her eyes, seemingly holding her breath, waiting for his answer. Bucky inhaled sharply. “Okay,” he relented, “I promise I’ll leave.”
Ariel* breathed again. She moved closer, Bucky lifting up an arm so she can rest by his side, giving her a one armed hug. “Alright,” he said after a moment, reaching over and grabbing Ariel’s speaker off of the nightstand, turning it on. “What do you want to listen to?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Sam and Joaquin landed their jet, coming to pick up Bucky, Ariel* stood outside on the landing pad next to him. She handed him a tote bag containing the three warmer bags of hot meals for him and the guys. “Thanks Doll,” Bucky said, taking them, “I know they’ll appreciate these.”
Ariel* grabbed his vibranium hand, eyes boring into his.
“I know Doll. I promise.”
She nodded in return, embracing him quickly. Ascending the boarding ramp, Bucky turned around, giving Ariel* a wave. And then the ramp closed, the jet taking off. Ariel* closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The team sat together on the couch, trying to make sense of The Lighthouse.
“So Robert Pattinson is Willem Dafoe?” Bob asked.
“I thought they were two different people?” Ava replied.
“He could be by himself, hallucinating,” Yelena suggested.
“Are they not a gay couple?” Alexei, who was snoring, finally woke up out of nowhere.
The team groaned, Bob snatching up the remote and smacking fast forward.
“How does that even work anyway?” Yelena tilted her head, trying to examine the sped up film.
“Don’t question it Yelena,” Ava replied.
Walker’s phone went off suddenly. He dug it out of his pocket, the name Sam Wilson on the screen. “That’s strange,” Walker mumbled, hitting accept.
Ariel* stiffened as Walker answered.
“Sam? Whoa wait Sam calm down. What?” Walker’s eyes widened. “Oh shit!” He leapt off the couch, running. “Yes I’m on it!”
“Walker?” Alexei called out.
“No time!” Walker yelled back at Alexei.
A pit fell in Ariel*’s stomach. She jumped up too, dashing in the direction of the Tower’s landing pad. “Ariel*!” Someone called out, but she didn’t hear, going as fast as her legs could carry her. She threw the door open just in time to see the wheels on the jet hit the pad. The jet shut off faster than it should’ve, the ramp coming down quickly. Sam rushed out, screaming for medical supplies. A medical team pushed past Ariel* as they boarded the jet.
“Ariel*, go back to the team,” Walker said.
She turned to him, reaching into her pocket, about to type why when she saw the reason.
Two nurses brought out a stretcher, someone lying face down on it. The person’s back was scorched, the skin bloodied and blackened, most likely a third degree burn. A blood curdling scream rang out when the stretcher hit a bump, adding more pain to the patient’s predicament. An arm flailed up, the evening sun shining off the black and gold metal.
Ariel* screamed, soundless, but her face twisted up in anguish. She moved towards the stretcher, but Walker threw his arms around her, pulling her back flush to him. “Ariel* stop!” He barked.
She flailed against him, attempting to shout Bucky’s name. Walker struggled, her strength close to his.
“Doll!” Bucky cried out weakly.
She replied I’m right here, but nobody heard her.
“Let him see her!” Sam commanded, running after the stretcher.
“Captain we-“
“LET HIM SEE HER!”
The stretcher paused in front of Ariel*, Walker loosening his grip. Bucky lifted his head slightly, looking at her. “I didn’t break my promise,” his voice cracked. His head fell back to the stretcher, too painful to hold up. “Doll I didn’t break my p-“ he twitched suddenly.
“He’s coding!” One of the nurses shouted, pulling the stretcher into the building.
Tears dripped from Ariel*’s eyes, her heart pounding in her chest, breath quickening. Walker tightened his hold again, but Ariel* didn’t fight him, slumping in his arms and sobbing.
“Let her go Walker,” Sam said calmly.
“I tried to make sure she didn’t see,” Walker replied, holding his hands up. Ariel* stood there, eerily still. “What happened anyway?”
Joaquin padded over, sheepish. “There was a grenade I didn’t see. Bucky…..he shielded me. It should’ve been m-“
SLAP.
Joaquin recoiled, a red imprint of Ariel*’s hand on his cheek. Ariel* lunged at him.
“Dammit!” Walker snatched her up, lifting her off the ground. Her legs kicked out, doing nothing, so she threw her head back, butting Walker in the nose. “FUCK!” he dropped her, pinching his nose to stop the blood.
“ARIEL*” Sam shouted, throwing himself between her and Joaquin. He stared her down with a sharp look. “This is not going to help Bucky.”
Ariel* glared at him, wanting to retaliate. But instead she fell to her knees, sobbing. Sam crouched down in front of her. “Bucky has super healing remember? He’ll be fine. That man’s a fighter.” He swallowed, not convinced himself. He straightened up, offering his hand to Ariel*. She took it, letting him guide her up and into the Tower towards the medical bay. “He’ll be fine.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The medical team got Bucky stabilized. A patch of skin on his back had started regenerating, so they left him face down on a table, ointment slathered on his back, doped up on pain meds, and just let the serum in his veins do the work. The moment the doctor determined he could have visitors, Ariel* sped into the room, pulling a chair up to the area of the table where Bucky’s sleeping head was. His arms had been positioned by his head, making it seem like he was resting his head on them. Ariel* clasped his right hand in both of hers, holding on tightly and watching over him.
She sat that way for hours when Sam came in. “It’s late,” Sam said. “I can watch him so you can get some sleep.”
She shook her head no.
Sam sighed, coming to stand next to her. “He kept asking for you the whole ride back. Told me to tell you he didn’t break his promise, whatever that means.”
Her thumbs grazed across Bucky’s skin, hoping that even in sleep, he could feel the comfort.
“He cares about you,” Sam continued. “A lot. Much more than I have ever seen from him. In fact, he texts me about you everyday.”
Ariel* finally looked at him, her brow raised.
“Bucky tells me whenever you have a new memory. Or about your cooking. He suggests music to me that he heard from you. How much he wishes he could hear your voice and your laugh. What songs you taught him on the guitar. He tells me everything. It’s kind of annoying actually. Annoying but sweet.”
A small smile formed on Ariel*’s face.
“I can tell from the way he talks about you that you care for him too.”
Ariel* nodded.
“That’s good,” Sam said. “He’s been alone for so long, he needs someone to care about him. I know he feels he doesn’t deserve it, but you just gotta keep fighting and reminding him. Which seems like you do.” He sighed. “Too bad you care about a man who puts his prosthetic arm in the dishwasher.”
Ariel*’s shoulders shook, one hand coming up to hide her smirk in a silent giggle.
“What? I’ve seen him do it!” Sam joked, laughing along with her. When his laugh died down, he put a hand on her shoulder. “Alright, you stay, but if you change your mind you know where to find me.”
She reached up, patting his hand to show she understood and will take him up on his offer if needed. Sam cocked his head, doing a final inspection of Bucky’s healing back, before leaving.
“It was one time,” Bucky grumbled.
Ariel* drew back, startled by the sudden sound of his voice.
“The dishwasher,” Bucky adjusted his head, resting his chin on the pillow so he could look straight ahead. “I did it one time. I was curious.”
Ariel* sighed, leaning forward so her face was inches in front of Bucky’s. Her eyes were glossed over, ready to cry tears of relief. Bucky’s metal hand extended, landing on her cheek, thumb swiping across the skin to calm her down. “I know,” he said softly. “I scared you Doll, I’m so sorry. But Joaquin would’ve died if I didn’t protect him.”
Ariel*’s free hand came up, sitting on top of Bucky’s. She sniffled, but nodded to acknowledge him.
“How is Joaquin?” Bucky asked.
Ariel* let go of him, typing on her phone. His face might be a little bruised. I slapped him earlier. She hung her head in shame.
Bucky tilted her head back up. “We all do stupid things when we’re scared,” he reassured her. “I’m sure Joaquin will understand.” His eyes squinted in discomfort, a small groan coming out of him as he buried his face in the pillow, biting back a scream.
Ariel* fumbled around with the items on the bedside table, producing a remote. She tapped his hand gently, waiting for him to glance up, and pointed at the call nurse button. “No,” Bucky said. “I don’t think they’ll be able to help. Just gotta let the serum do its job.”
She put the remote back on the table, Bucky watched her, noticing the time on the digital clock. “Doll, it’s late, you should get some rest.” He moved his head on the pillow, lying sideways as it was more comfortable for him.
She showed him her phone. I am resting. She put her phone back into her pocket, rose, moved the seat a little more to the side, sat down again, and put her head on the table next to Bucky’s, resting on her arm. With her other hand, she took his again, rubbing across the knuckles.
Bucky smirked. “You’re just as hard headed as me.”
Ariel* moved her head, giving Bucky a gentle little headbutt.
“Bonk,” Bucky made the noise he imagined they would make in a cartoon, attempting to lighten the mood. Ariel* chuckled noiselessly. “Yeah Doll, you’re right, my head is harder.” He drew back suddenly, coughing away from her face. Ariel* backed up, grabbing the cup of water and straw a nurse had left on the nightstand should Bucky wake up. She steadied the straw, bringing it up to Bucky’s lips. Bucky drank, his body relaxing a bit. “Thanks Doll.”
Ariel* put the now empty cup down, then brushed some of Bucky’s hair away from his forehead. Bucky closed his eyes, humming a song. “‘S wonderful, ‘s marvelous you should care for me” Bucky muttered, taking hold of her hand again.
Ariel* returned to her position, resting her head against Bucky’s. Bucky nuzzled closer glad his body fought so he could be with her again. “Next time I make you cry, it will be tears of joy,” he vowed. “You got that Doll? I only want to see you happy.”
She tapped his hand once; the signal they made for yes long ago. The only way she could think of to agree.
“Good,” Bucky exhaled, eyes falling shut again.
Ariel* observed him, tracing shapes into his skin as his breath evened, Bucky sleeping again. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help it, she had nearly lost him today, a thought she couldn’t bear. Heart racing, she leaned in, her lips brushing against the stubble of Bucky’s cheek in a quick kiss. Bucky stirred but didn’t wake up. Ariel* made herself comfortable, and fell asleep beside him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golden light filtered in from the blinds of the window, warming Bucky’s face. Awake, but reluctant to open his eyes, he remained still. The sound of careful footsteps echoed in his ears. “Hey Sam,” he greeted, opening his eyes.
Sam, entering the room with one of Bucky’s favorite shirts dangled over his arm, froze, relieved to hear his friend’s voice. “Man you really gave us a scare back there,” he said, rushing over to the table. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” Bucky answered, tilting his head back. “How’s my back.”
Sam inspected for him. “No burns, mostly healed. There’s no scabs or anything but the skin is pretty pink. Probably means it’s new. So you’ll might be sensitive for a bit. I can get the doctor to come confirm.”
“No thanks,” Bucky pushed up, climbing off of the table and grabbing the shirt from Sam. “I’m good.” He winced a little as the fabric of the shirt skimmed his skin, but at least the shirt was loose and gave him some room. When he was dressed, him and Sam hugged, Sam careful not to touch Bucky’s back too hard.
Breaking apart, Sam motioned to the table. “She really stayed all night huh?”
Bucky turned, catching sight of Ariel*, head on the table where he once was, still sleeping. “Aw Doll,” he whispered, a fond smile on his face.
“She’s a loyal one,” Sam observed. “Slapped the shit out of Joaquin yesterday. Broke Walker’s nose too!”
Bucky snorted, a smirk forming. “Dammit, I would’ve loved to see that.”
“Any other time I would laugh at that, but Bucky, she was terrified yesterday. I know this sounds bad but, the fact she can’t make noise almost made it worse. She was screaming for you but nothing came out.” Sam paused, unsettled by the thought. “I wish we could find something to help her out.”
“Me too,” Bucky said softly, eyes not leaving Ariel*.
“I reached out to Bruce,” Sam said.
“Why bother? Nobody’s heard from him in years.”
“I know, but, maybe he knows something. Kamar-Taj has to mean something. I’ve heard it before and so have you. Maybe Wanda talked to him about it.”
“Doubt it. Bruce hated Wanda. Remember?”
“I know it sounds stupid,” Sam replied. “But, stranger things have happened.” He yawned.
“Did you even sleep last night?”
“Nuh uh.”
Bucky clapped Sam on the back. “Get some sleep Sam. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay. Later Bucky.” He spun on his heel and left.
Bucky approached Ariel*, his footsteps stealthy. “As for you,” he said softly. He crouched down, arms snaking around Ariel*’s legs and back, lifting her up with ease. Adjusting her so that her head sat against his chest instead of hanging back, Bucky made his way to her room. It was still early, the rest of the team hadn’t woken up yet.
As if on cue, Walker’s door opened. “Hey you’re up,” Walker, nose crooked, said as he left his room to go to the gym. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. What happened to your nose?”
Walker glared at Ariel* in his arms. “You know damn well, jackass.” He scoffed, marching past him.
Bucky bit his lip, holding back a laugh as he opened the door to Ariel*’s room. He strode over, pulling the blanket back and laying her down gently. She didn’t make a sound, but her face moved, like she had groaned in her sleep. Bucky came to a stand still, making sure she didn’t wake. When she didn’t stir anymore, he covered her in the blanket. Noticing some of her hair was in her face, he bent down, metal hand brushing it away. He froze when his fingers moved across her temple, the skin there tough and raised.
Glancing back at Ariel*, he lowered himself slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed without jostling the mattress too much. With another quick look, he leaned down, fingers carefully parting the strands of hair where he felt the ridge. “Shit,” he muttered when he saw the white scar.
Bucky moved to the other side of her head, a matching scar there as well. His hands flew up to his temples, fingers digging through his hair until they came across his scars, reminding him of the chair. The cold, metallic chair they forced him into, binding him with straps, the mouthpiece they threw in his mouth so they didn’t have to fix his teeth or risk him biting his tongue. The pieces they clamped to his head, shocking him as he screamed in anguish, all until he had nothing left. He had suspected it since day one, but the image of someone as sweet as Ariel* being shoved into that machine, jolting around in pain until all that was left was a shell, was too much. His body had contradictory reactions; a chill going down his spine as hot rage filled his veins.
Yet through it all, Ariel* slept, chest rising and falling peacefully, unaware of the discovery Bucky had made. He wasn’t going to tell her, not today. She probably already knew, most likely feeling the marks when she did her hair. So he fixed her hair, covering the scars again.
Taking a quick look at the hallway, making sure they were alone, Bucky put his face inches above Ariel*’s head. His lips pressed against her temple in a quick, tender kiss as he whispered his wish.
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The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 7)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check These Out
Bucky updated his list on his phone.
Doll’s Memories
-likes video games
-had a ZZ plant
-An American in Paris
-loves to cook
-Korean food every Friday night: beef bulgogi, pickled radish, kimichi or spicy cucumbers
-perfume: Gucci. The purple magnolia one
-red lipstick. Yelena said Russian Red????
-plays guitar/loves music
-favorite song is Nothing Else Matters by Metallica
“Who left flowers for Lamar?” Walker asked.
“Ariel* did,” Bucky answered, not looking up from his phone. “She bought flowers for everyone. Why?”
“Just curious.” Walker strutted into the kitchen, refilling his water bottle. “Wait a sec,” he turned the faucet off. “How did she know to leave yellow ones?”
“Well isn’t that common practice? Like putting the gold star in the window?”
“It’s common practice for the military,” Walker said, “but I’m not sure if a civilian would know that.”
Bucky lowered his phone, realizing that Walker had a point. “We checked service records Walker, she wasn’t military.”
“True,” he paused, taking a sip of his water. “But she could be military adjacent. Maybe a parent served? I might be overthinking it, but I don’t see her having that knowledge if she wasn’t used to the military somehow.”
Bucky chewed his lip, considering the possibility.
“Just a thought,” Walker said, exiting the area.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky felt stupid that he hadn’t thought of using music sooner. Ariel* had recognized ‘S Wonderful and Birds of a Feather. He really should have realized that music was helping her remember before this. And so with Yelena’s help, Bucky signed up for a Spotify account, created a playlist titled Doll’s Playlist and gave Ariel* his credentials. “Any songs you remember, put it here. Maybe they’ll help you out.”
Bucky figured Ariel* loved music, she did play an instrument after all, but nothing could have prepared him for how much music she loved. He had assumed she loved rock, but the artists and genres she put on the playlist were so varied. Metallica followed by Britney Spears. The Temptations next to Rage Against The Machine. Usher led into Linkin Park. Florence + the Machine and Hozier bookended by Disturbed and Avenged Sevenfold. Chris Stapleton into Kendrick Lamar. Marvin Gaye and Lady Gaga. And so much more.
Some songs weren’t even in English. Ariel* had curated a collection of k-pop, j-pop, tejano, reggaeton, opera (Andrea Bocelli and Chris Stapleton together? What does that sound like), Kaleo’s songs in their native language, a French pop song featuring Ed Sheeran, and The Hu, a confusing yet intriguing combination of metal and Mongolian folk music.
“That’s quite a collection you’re building Doll,” Bucky complimented one day.
She smiled, replying in her signature way. I just like music. We moved around a lot and it was one of the few hobbies I could take everywhere. Plus, it transcends every language.
Sometimes she unveiled memories she had of the songs, pointing to each title on the screen and explaining.
Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and The Pips. When I was little there was a nice older black man who listened to Motown records all the time. He died of cancer. This was his favorite song.
Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera. Her debut album was the first cd I ever owned.
Numb by Linkin Park. The first album I bought with my pocket money.
Baby by Justin Bieber. My first concert.
Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet by Fall Out Boy. I always thought their song titles and Panic! At the Disco’s were funny.
Tequila by Dan + Shay. I played the shit out of this during my first breakup.
Work Song by Hozier. The ultimate love song. I remember hearing it and thinking I want to be loved like the woman in that song.
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. The first song I ever learned on guitar. Nothing Else Matters is my favorite song, but I thought this one would be more epic, I wasn’t ready for Master of Puppets yet.
Techno Syndrome (Mortal Kombat) my middle school gym teacher used to play this on loop during Mega Dodgeball.
“What’s Mega Dodgeball?” Bucky asked.
It’s a mix of Capture the Flag and Dodgeball where they bring out all the wrestling and yoga mats and carts of balls and make barriers and obstacles you’re supposed to cross to steal the flag without getting it.
“That sounds like going to war,” Bucky said.
Yeah. Basically. Some kids took it way too seriously (it’s me. I’m some kids.)
Bucky chuckled, amused by this new fact he learned about her.
He would sit for hours with her, listening to her music, reading out the texts she wrote of the small memories. Occasionally, Ariel* would know how to play the song, pulling out her guitar and playing along. And if Bucky found himself really liking a song she knew, she would remove the guitar, placing the strap around Bucky. With his hands in hers, she would guide him, adjusting his fingers as he learned. Bucky enjoyed these lessons, he found the new skill calming, but he also adored the closeness, though he’d never admit it. Ariel*’s hands were soft, her movements gentle, unafraid of his metal arm, not that she’d ever been in the first place, but nobody had ever touched Bucky’s vibranium hand like that for so long. She was patient, whenever he messed up a chord she wouldn’t scold or make a face or taunt him, just simply shaking her head no and showing him how to do it right. Ariel* would smile at him if he played correctly, encouraging him.
When Bucky finally played a whole song through, Work Song by Hozier which he had chosen because of Ariel*’s story with the song, she clapped, grinning. That warm, fuzzy feeling bloomed in his chest again, happy that he had made her smile.
We should get you a guitar. So we can play together.
“Yeah, but to be honest, I like it better this way.”
Ariel* cast her eyes to the floor, blushing. Bucky lowered the guitar gently, right hand reaching out for Ariel*’s face.
“Since when do you play the guitar?”
Bucky jumped, startled by the voice. “Sam! What are you doing here?”
Sam leaned against the doorway, arms crossed. “I was in town, figured I’d say hi.”
The ad that had played after Bucky’s song choice ended, a soulful group of voices coming on.
“I see you moving, baby, yeah. And you’re looking good. Said you’re looking fine. Everything’s gonna be alright. Let the music take control of your body tonight.”
“Yo! Is that Father MC and Jodeci?” Sam asked excitedly.
Ariel* nodded, giving him a thumbs up.
“Girl, how d’ya know about Jodeci?”
Ariel* shrugged, hopping up from her seat and approaching Sam. She grabbed his hands, pulling him into the room and dancing. Sam gladly let loose, making goofy movements. Bucky laughed at him, knowing it was rare for Sam to show people this side of him. Ariel* turned to Bucky, making a beckoning motion. Bucky pretended to roll his eyes, removing the guitar and setting it on the bed, joining the dance party. He observed Ariel* the whole time, the way her smile widened, her demeanor brightened, her graceful movements, and her silent giggles when Sam decided to do an ankle grab while singing the words “do that dance do that dance baby” off key. Bucky lived for the little moments like this, when Ariel* wasn’t a lost, tortured soul. He just wished she had her own sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was one song that stumped Ariel* though.
Bucky knocked on her doorframe. “Doll, you ready for our Korean food run?”
Ariel* didn’t hear him, she paced around her room with her head phones on, face scrunched up in concentration.
“Doll,” Bucky said a bit louder, waving to get her attention.
It worked. She stopped in her tracks, seeing the movement from her peripheral. Snatching the headphones off of her head she faced Bucky, giving him her attention.
“It’s Friday,” Bucky reminded her gently.
Ariel* made an oh face, holding up one finger. She retrieved her shoes, slipping them on and heading out with Bucky. Even though she couldn’t speak, her and Bucky always had conversations at their weekly dinner, but today, Ariel* didn’t type out her answers. She stared blankly ahead, her chopsticks tapping her plate between bites.
“Alright Doll,” Bucky said between bites of his food. “What’s bothering you?”
There’s a song bothering me. I can’t figure out what it means to me. I’ve been listening to it all day trying to figure it out.
“Want me to help you when we get home? Maybe I can figure it out?”
I don’t think you’ll know it. But sure. Two brains is better than one.
When they returned home, they settled in Ariel*’s room. Ariel* typed out an introductory message on her phone. Spotify recommended this band to me. I really like them. But this song came up. I don’t think I should know it since it came out earlier this year and the timeline doesn’t match up. But it is scratching at something in my brain that I can’t figure out.
Bucky read her message, along with the song information: Caramel-Sleep Token-Even in Arcadia-2025. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Ariel* hit play on her phone, notes from what sounded like a xylophone rang out from the speaker, along with a vaguely British accented male voice. “Count me out like sovereigns payback for the good times. Right foot in the roses, left foot on a land mine.”
Bucky closed his eyes, theorizing what was triggering the sense of familiarity in Ariel*.
“So stick to me. Stick to me like caramel. Walk beside me, till you feel nothin’ as well.”
Bucky reached over, hitting pause. “Is it that lyric? Does it remind you of Nothing Else Matters maybe?”
Ariel* shook her head. I don’t think that’s it.
“Okay.” Bucky hit play again, analyzing every lyric.
“The deepest incisions, I thought I got better, but maybe I didn’t.”
That one hit him like a truck, reminding him of a time where he was at the lowest of lows; when he thought he was getting better until somebody read ten little words out of a notebook. He shuddered, refusing to suggest that was what was getting under Ariel*’s skin.
Keeping his promise, he sat with her, playing the song on loop hoping something would occur to him. After a couple of hours, Ariel* fell asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. Bucky moved her, laying her down gently while still listening to the song. And then her phone died. So he moved to his phone. Then his phone died. Bucky sighed, it was now 2am, and they had gotten nowhere. Too worn out to travel to his room, he laid back, careful not to rouse Ariel*. He stared at the ceiling, the lyrics cycling through his brain.
“So stick to me. Stick to me like caramel,” Bucky whispered. “Stick to me like caramel. Like caramel. Caramel. Caram- CARAMEL!” He sat bolt upright, slapping his hands over his mouth when he realized he had shouted. Ariel* twitched in her sleep, but didn’t wake up.
He rushed out of the room, plans drawn up in his head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ariel* woke up later than usual. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she rolled over, noticing her phone had been plugged up to charge. She realized that she wasn’t alone last night. Turning back around, she saw the divot in the bed where Bucky sat, but no Bucky. Thinking he probably went back to his room, she made her way to the common area.
“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” Walker teased from the couch, “finally woke up before noon.”
Ariel* flipped him off.
“You had a delivery,” Alexei said, “on the counter.”
Ariel*’s eye brows arched, why would she have a delivery? She followed Alexei’s directions, coming across a gift bag on the counter, stuffed with tissue paper with an envelope on top. Plucking out the envelope, she dragged her finger under the seal, revealing a note: Stick to me like caramel.
That just made her more confused. Removing the tissue paper, her eyes widened at the contents of the bag. There were bags of Werther’s caramels, both hard and soft, Lindt caramel truffles, Ghirardelli squares in both caramel and sea salt caramel, a roll of Rolos, a bag of Riesen, caramel M&Ms, a Snickers bar, a Twix bar, a box of caramel hot chocolate mix, a bottle of caramel syrup, and a cellophane bag of fancy homemade caramels from a candy store.
“Whoa,” Walker said, glancing at Ariel*’s haul, “that’s a lot of caramel.”
Ariel* was curious, she put all the belongings back into the bag except for the Ghirardelli sea salt caramel squares. She ripped the package open, pulling out a wrapped square and inspecting the shiny foil. Opening it, she took a tentative bite out of a corner of the square.
Something awakened in her.
The bitterness of the dark chocolate mixed with the buttery sweetness of the caramel danced on her tongue, the touch of salt cutting through, reeling the sweetness in. It was a taste she had known before, in her past life. She shoved the rest of the square in her mouth, shimmying a bit.
“Why is she so excited over caramel?” Walker whispered.
“I’m not sure,” Alexei whispered back.
Ariel* spun on her heel, snatching the bag and taking off.
“Nice to see you too!” Walker called out sarcastically.
Ariel* scoured the tower, finding Bucky in his room, curled in his window seat, reading his well worn copy of The Hobbit. He looked up at her with a smile. “I see you found your present,” he said, removing his legs from the seat so Ariel* could sit next to him. She plopped down, shaking with excitement. Digging out her phone, she replied.
You figured it out! Why I liked the song so much. It’s cause I really like caramel. It’s my favorite food. Or dessert I mean. How could I forget? Her eyes returned to a sad state for a moment before lighting up again.
“Yeah that one line, stick to me like caramel, just wouldn’t leave my head,” Bucky explained. “So then I realized, wait she cooks and likes food, what if it’s the flavor she remembers. And uh, I went a little crazy, but hopefully you found a favorite or two in there?”
Ariel* dug into the gift bag, producing the sea salt Ghirardelli, and giving it a shake.
Bucky chuckled, “I figured those would be a good choice.”
Ariel* stuck her hand in the bag, coming up with two squares. She offered one to Bucky.
“No Doll,” Bucky closed her fingers around the candy. “Those are all yours.”
She shook her head, thrusting her hand toward him again, insisting he take the chocolate. With her other hand she wrote on her phone. You brought a piece of me back. You deserve a reward.
He sighed when he read the words. He figured it might have been a bit of a long shot, maybe she would think it weird. The fact that it was so important to her was what he ideally wanted, but he never expected this. “Okay,” Bucky relented, taking the candy. “But then you’re gonna have to figure out how to play the song so you can teach me. I actually ended up really liking it. Deal?”
She took his hand, sealing the deal with a shake. Releasing him for a second, she unwrapped her square. Bucky followed suit, sliding the chocolate into his mouth, the flavors exploding against his taste buds. “Wow, these are good.”
Ariel* nodded, mouth full of chocolate. Her hands wrapped around Bucky’s metal arm, her body scooting closer, resting her head on his shoulder, the only way she could hug him given where they sat. With his right hand, Bucky set his book aside, reaching up and placing it on top of her knuckles. He rubbed her hands affectionately, making a wish with the lyrics in his head.
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 6)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like ThisPlease Check These Out
Author’s notes: Lots of talk about death this chapter. Some Google translate work for one moment of Alexei’s dialogue. I actually like Nickelback but I needed something bad for Walker. So Nickelback if you’re reading this (doubt it) I’m sorry. Potential mess up of canon in regards to Natasha’s birthday.
Bucky laid on his back, halfheartedly bench pressing. His mind swirled with thoughts of his failure; Ariel* had been part of the Thunderbolts family for months now, and yet he still hadn’t uncovered the mystery around her. Sure she was remembering small things about herself, and for that he was glad, but she was still missing a name, a concrete past, a voice.
“Maybe she never talked at all,” Walker suggested one day. “Maybe she’s always been mute.”
“Can’t be,” Bucky answered. “Doc says her vocal chords are normal, and even if she didn’t talk she’d still be able to laugh and sigh and-“
“Alright alright, I get it. I’m wrong.”
Ava had done some research, able to narrow the window of captivity. “Her perfume was first released in 2023. And she recognized Birds of a Feather, which released July 2, 2024. Which means she had to be taken after.”
“Thanks Ava.” He lauded that Ava even thought of looking up release dates, but given that there were no missing person reports, death records, service records, it almost felt like a moot point.
And so Bucky ended up here, lifting weights as if it would help the universe bring him a sign. His phone rang in his pocket. Bucky returned the bar to its rack, reaching for his phone. Sam Wilson. He hit accept eagerly, silently thanking the universe. “Sam! Please tell me you found Wanda. My trail went cold a long time ago.”
“I did,” Sam said on the other end of the line, his tone slightly off.
“But?” Bucky asked, fearing the worst.
Sam sighed. “Wanda’s dead, Bucky.”
Something tightened in his chest. “Wanda…..are you sure?”
“To be honest, not really. There’s a headstone, but the story doesn’t make sense.”
“Whaddya mean?”
“You remember Tic-Tac?”
“Scott?”
“Yeah. I contacted him, just in case he heard something. He didn’t but his acquaintance, some FBI agent, uh…” there was a pause, and the slight whooshing sound of paper flipping as he checked his notes. “Jimmy Wu. Wu said a couple of years ago he was called in to investigate a strange dome that appeared around a town in New Jersey, Westview.”
“Wait Westview. Isn’t that where her and Vision were planning on moving?”
“Yeah, but they never got to.”
Bucky lowered his head, giving a moment of silence for Vision’s sacrifice.
“Wu and his team investigated this dome and some strange transmissions coming from there. Like Wanda and Vision were starring in their own sitcoms.”
“You lost me.”
“Trust me, I was lost watching the footage. But anyway, turns out Wanda had created the dome and a fake version of Vision and was using the inhabitants of the town to live out her fantasy. Some big fight happened with another witch who lived in the town and then Wanda just disappeared.”
“So how do you know she’s dead?”
“I went to Westview myself, asked some of the residents. She is not well regarded by the way. But somebody remembered seeing the name Maximoff in the cemetery there. She’s got a headstone and everything.”
Bucky pursed his lips, tentatively, pondering if it was even appropriate to ask the question.
“I had Redwing scan the grave,” Sam said, reading his mind. “There was no body. I don’t know if that means she faked her death or she died in a way where there was no body or what. But it doesn’t look good man.”
Bucky let out an exasperated sigh. “Shit,” he whispered.
“How’s Ariel* doing?”
“She’s had a couple more memories, but they’re more about hobbies or things she likes than they are about her identity. If that makes sense.”
“It does. And the nightmares? She still having them?”
“Every night. She gave us a scare the other day.” He detailed the events of that night.
“Jesus,” Sam said softly on the other end. “Well, there’s one good thing here.”
“Good?”
“Yeah, she has you.”
An electric buzzing sizzled through his body.
“She probably feels so lost and alone, but you’ve also been through HYDRA. You understand her. Hell she might not be having all these memories if she didn’t have you around. You’re proof that she can come out on the other side okay. You’re good for her Bucky.”
Suddenly the gym felt too hot, stifling, his face felt unusually warm.
Joaquin said something indiscernible to Sam. “He yman, I hate to cut this short,” Sam began, “but I gotta go.”
“No problem. Thanks Sam.”
“Anytime Bucky.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elsewhere in the tower, Ariel* wandered the halls, unusually bored out of her mind. It was one of those days everyone has once in a while where nothing seemed entertaining: watching tv, reading, cooking something from scratch, video games with Bob, training in the gym, it was all so dull.
So she took a walk, hoping she’d figure out something to do with her time. Rounding a corner, she stumbled upon a wall, framed pictures of strangers hung up, each one with a built in cup underneath for flowers and other tokens of love. She had seen the wall before, but only in passing, none of the Thunderbolts liked lingering there, especially not Bucky. Ariel* gazed at the wall, taking in each photo. There was a man in a suit, an air of almost arrogant confidence around him: Tony Stark. Next was a man with a child that looked like Ava: Elihas Starr. A young black man in a military uniform was next: Lamar Hoskins. Then the one that seemed out of place, the only black and white photo among the group, a short skinny man with his chest puffed out, as if he was bigger than what he was: Steve Rogers, Bucky’s best friend who had saved him. And finally, a woman with her red hair arranged in a french braid: Natasha Romanoff.
Ariel*’s eyes lingered on that photo. Someone had visited the wall recently, her cup was the only one that had been filled, a fresh bouquet of flowers placed lovingly in them.
“My Natasha.”
Ariel* whirled around, startled by the voice. Alexei stood behind her, a sad look on his face. “My other daughter,” he explained, approaching Ariel* slowly. He had his own bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Looks like Yelena’s visited her older sister.” He sighed, moving Yelena’s bouquet to the side gently, putting his in. “We think today is her birthday.”
Ariel* raised an eyebrow, an action Alexei noticed in his peripheral. “Natasha and Yelena, they were taken as babies, trained from birth to be spies. I met them on a mission, we posed as a family for a while. We didn’t know their birthdays so we had them choose a day. Natasha chose this one. We were happy. And then we were extracted and,” he swallowed, choking on the words. “I let them go. They were so little. I’ve always regretted that decision. How could I let my girls go?” Alexei broke down, sobbing.
Ariel* stepped closer, reaching up and putting a comforting hand on Alexei’s shoulder. “I never got the chance to make things right. She died saving our world. And then I left Yelena when she needed me most.” Ariel* rubbed his back, doing her best to be soothing. Alexei straightened up after a moment, tears still falling. “Thank you sladkaya (sweet one).” He wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Help me find ‘Lena?”
They wandered through the tower somberly, searching for Yelena. Yelena was no better than Alexei; they found her in her room sitting on the floor against the wall, eyeliner and mascara running down her face, a bottle of vodka in hand, and Alexei’s record player spinning. “Hi Dad,” she said sadly.
Alexei padded in, looking over at the record player. “You stole my rock records again.”
Yelena took a swig of vodka. “Yeah.”
The song transitioned to another one, a sad smile forming on Alexei’s face. “You and Natasha loved this one.”
Yelena’s head tilted back, bumping against the wall. “Bye bye Miss American Pie” she sang, voice wavering.
“Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.”
Yelena shifted suddenly, glassy eyes focusing on Ariel*, the first time she had noticed her. Alexei kept singing sadly, but Yelena tapped him, bringing him to a stop. “Dad, look.”
Ariel* stood in the doorway, eyes closed, hips swaying to the music. Her arms were in front of her in an air guitar position, but unlike most air guitarists, her fingers that held the imaginary fretboard actually moved with the music, like she was playing a real guitar. She stayed that way, paying no mind to the grieving family, lost in the music.
Alexei and Yelena shared a glance. “We need to buy Ariel* a guitar,” Yelena said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Ariel* found Bucky early in the morning, making himself a cup of coffee. “Mornin’ Doll,” he greeted, “you want some coffee?”
Ariel* shook her head no, producing her phone. Can we go to the florist today?
“Florist?”
She nodded, typing away. Please, this is important to me.
“Yeah. We can go right now if you want.”
Another nod.
“Okay, let me just grab a travel mug so this doesn’t go to waste. Sure you don’t want any?”
I’m sure, thank you though.
He took her to the closest florist, baffled at what Ariel*’s intentions were. She grabbed multiple bouquets, inspecting each and every flower for freshness. Bucky approached her, offering to take some of the bouquets for her. “Doll, if you wanted flowers, all you had to do was say so.”
Ariel* did a silent giggle, digging her phone out of her pocket. They’re not for me.
A jealous sting hit Bucky in the chest. If they aren’t for her who is she buying for? And why does he need so many. It better not be Walker, fucking jerk.
He watched her for a second, focused on a set of yellow roses and disappeared deeper into the shop, searching. Bucky returned a few minutes later, a smug grin on his face. Satisfied with her picks, Ariel* faced Bucky, indicating she was ready to check out. Bucky paid the bill with his card, insisting on carrying Ariel*’s mini garden back to the tower. On the elevator, Ariel* hit the button for a certain floor Bucky always wanted to avoid. “Doll, why are we going there?”
She held a finger up, shushing him. Once the doors opened, she stepped out, head bowed in respect for the dead. Bucky hid his reddening face behind the flowers, feeling ashamed. Ariel* stopped in front of Tony’s picture, looking at the flowers in Bucky’s arms, picking out a bouquet of red roses and sunflowers, the colors of Tony’s Iron Man suit and placing them in his vase carefully. Moving on to Ava’s father, she chose the bouquet of mixed flowers for him. Lamar received yellow roses, the color reserved for fallen soldiers. Steve came next, the biggest bouquet a mix of patriotic red, white, and blue flowers. Bucky blinked back tears when he saw them next to the photo of his best friend. And then finally, Natasha. Her vase already held two bouquets, but Ariel* wanted everyone to be remembered, she put a smaller bouquet of red and white roses, Bucky theorized they were meant to represent Natasha and Yelena’s hair colors, in.
Ariel* took a step back, making sure all flowers were arranged neatly for every single person on the wall. If anything seemed off, she went back, adjusting the arrangements to her liking. Bucky observed her silently. “You know Doll,” he said after a few beats of silence. “You didn’t have to do that. You don’t know these people.”
I know. But they’re important to all of you. So they’re important to me too.
Bucky’s mouth upturned into a bittersweet smile, his eyes flicking back to the picture of Steve. “You’re sweet Doll,” he replied. “I’m sure they all appreciate it.”
She followed his line of sight, sidestepping closer to him and sneaking her hand into his. He allowed it, metal fingers interlacing with hers. After a few minutes he let out a shaky breath. “Let’s go.”
They entered the common area, ready to relax after a busy morning but were greeted by the rest of the team, staring at Ariel* eagerly. “What are you guys up to?” Bucky asked, suspicious.
“Yesterday, Dad and I noticed something,” Yelena answered. “Ariel* was really good at air guitar.”
Ariel* looked between Bucky and Yelena, wondering if she missed something.
“You don’t remember do you?” Alexei asked.
Ariel* shook her head no.
“Well,” Yelena motioned to Bob, who brought over a guitar case and an amp. “Maybe this will refresh your memory?”
Bob placed the case on the floor. Ariel* knelt, fingers skimming the hard plastic. She flipped the locks on the case open, revealing a brown and black electric guitar. A soundless gasp left her lips. She picked up the guitar, carefully placing the strap over her shoulder, holding it as if it was the most natural movement for her.
“There’s an amp too,” Bob reminded her, plugging the guitar into it with wire. “I think it’s set right.”
Ariel* moved him aside with her hand, bending over and fixing some of the knobs. She straightened, hands finding a position, biting her lip, thinking.
“I swear to God, if she plays some shit like Olivia Rodrigo,” Walker started.
A loud electric slide came out of the amp, scaring Walker and making him jump back as Ariel* played a riff from memory.
“YES!” Bob and Alexei shouted at the same time.
“She has taste!” Bob added.
“What?” Bucky asked, confused, but amazed at how easy Ariel* made it look. “What song is th-“
“BUT THE MEMORY REMAINS!” Bob shouted doing his best James Hetfield impression.
“Metallica,” Ava clarified for Bucky.
“Wait wait wait wait wait,” Bob said giddy. “Ariel* can you do….”he trailed off, thinking. “Livin’ on a Prayer?”
Ariel* switched songs without a hitch, flawlessly playing the Bon Jovi. Several members of the Thunderbolts sang out the chorus.
“Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix!” Alexei cried out.
Again, a perfect switch, the iconic riff played without hesitation.
“Start Me Up! Rolling Stones!” Ava suggested.
Ariel* grinned at her, playing that song.
“Green Day!” Yelena shouted.
Ariel* began playing American Idiot, causing Yelena to jump with joy.
“Nickelback,” Walker said.
The team stopped dead in their tracks. “Really Walker?”
“You pick fucking Nickelback?”
“All their songs sound the sa-“
Ariel* strummed out How You Remind Me anyway.
“What about you Bucky?” Bob asked. “What song do you want her to play.”
Bucky crossed his arms, shaking his head. “I don’t think she’ll know anything I listen to. I’m old, remember?”
Ariel* shifted so she could face him. Staring at him for a moment, her face lit up, a cheeky grin appearing. Instead of playing a riff, she opted for the melody of a song.
Bucky stood to attention, arms uncrossing and hanging at his sides, bewildered at how easily she read him.
Alexei tilted his head, thinking. “Is that Frank-“
“Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars,” Bucky muttered to himself, causing Ariel*’s grin to grow wider. “Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.”
Ariel* stopped, giving him a sarcastic bow. Bucky chuckled. “Alright Doll, you win. But what about you? Do you remember songs you liked? Do you remember your favorite?”
Ariel* looked down, her fingers sliding across the guitar strings, searching for an answer. Suddenly, she perked up, adjusting the guitar before playing a softer but still electric riff.
“I think Metallica was her favorite,” Yelena noted.
“It’s a great band,” Alexei interjected.
“If I remember correctly, this is Elton John’s favorite song,” Walker said.
“Sir Elton John to you,” Ava corrected.
“I don’t know this,” Bucky admitted.
Bob acted as Ariel*’s interpreter. “So close no matter how far. Couldn’t be much more from the heart. Forever trust in who we are. And nothing else matters.”
Bob spoke out all of the lyrics as Ariel* played through the whole song, including the emotional guitar solo. The team watched in awe, like they were at an actual Metallica concert. When the song ended, Ariel* hugged the guitar, now her most precious possession in the world. She looked up at the team, eyes glassy like she was going to cry again, but the rest of her face set with happiness. Thank you she mouthed.
Yelena crouched down, closing the guitar case. “It’s yours.”
Ariel* stared at her in disbelief.
“You found a lot of yourself today,” Alexei said. “You knew all the songs we suggested. Played them unprompted.”
Bob nodded. “Didn’t have to look anything up.”
“You may not remember who you are, but you remembered how to play,” Ava added.
“It seems small but,” Bucky wrapped his arm around Ariel* giving her a one armed hug, “all these songs are from your past somehow. These are all your memories. I’m proud of you Doll.”
Ariel* blushed, she cast her eyes back to the guitar, a fond smile on her face. She held the guitar one handed, retrieving her phone. Thank you all so much. I’m gonna take this to my room. See what else I remember. If that’s okay?
“Yeah.”
“Of course.”
“Let me help you with the amp.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Ariel* was awakened by a swift knock on her door. Rising from her bed all groggy, she opened the door, rubbing sleep from her eyes. An obnoxiously big arrangement of flowers greeted her, crammed into a long rectangular vase. It seemed like somebody had bought out the whole damn flower shop. She picked it up inspecting it, but there was no indication of who sent it. She smiled to herself, knowing exactly who it was anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky returned to his room after his morning workout, dying for a shower. He paused on his way to the bathroom, noticing three roses wrapped in ribbon on his bed, a piece of paper with Ariel*’s handwriting next to it:
“Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new. Open mind for a different view. And nothing else matters.”
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 5)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Please Check These Out
Warnings: this chapter starts out pretty dark, involving a memory Ariel* has of HYDRA regarding metal limbs. There is blood too. Just wanted to give a heads up before I bombard you with it
The door to Bucky’s room flew open, waking Bucky with a jolt. He jumped up, soldier’s instinct nearly taking over, preparing to attack when he realized who it was. “Doll?”
Ariel* stood in the doorway, shaking. One hand laid on the door, bracing herself. The other clutched her phone in her hand so tightly, Bucky swore he could hear the metal bending. Bucky reached over to turn on his lamp. “Another nightmare?”
Ariel* stared at him, eyes frantic in the dim light. Bucky’s eyes flickered to Ariel’s shoulders, the fabric of her shirt ripped, scratch marks marking her skin and dripping blood. Then without warning, she fell forward, fainting. Bucky rushed over, catching her before she hit the ground. “Doll!” He held her to his chest, flesh hand lightly tapping her face. “Doll, come on wake up.” When she didn’t respond he yelled into the hallway. “SOMEBODY HEL-“
The team was out in the hallway before he could finish. “What is it?” Yelena asked, freezing when she saw Ariel* in Bucky’s arms.
“GET MEDICAL!” Bucky shouted, panicked. Yelena ran as fast as she could. “Come on stay with me Doll.”
Alexei threw himself onto the floor, ripping off strips from his pajama shirt. “What happened?” He wrapped the fabric around one of Ariel*’s shoulders.
“I don’t know, she threw my door open and just fainted.”
“Why is she bleeding?” Walker asked.
“THE FUCK IF I KNOW JOHN!” Bucky snapped. Walker recoiled, hands raised in defeat.
“Bucky!” Bob exclaimed, pointing at Ariel*.
Ariel*’s eyelids fluttered open. She scanned the area, confused, before landing on Bucky’s worried face. “Doll,” Bucky said gently, “what is it? What’s wrong?”
Tears welled in her eyes, she began trembling again. Burying her face into Bucky’s shirt, she sobbed, her cries echoing off the walls of the hallway. Yelena slid in, gliding across the floor in her socks, the doctor right behind her. “She’s awake,” she sighed, relieved.
It took awhile to get Ariel* to let the doctor look at her. Every time someone tried to pull her back, her fingers clung to Bucky’s shirt even tighter. “Doll please,” Bucky cooed, rubbing her back, “you’re bleeding, the doctor needs to look at you.” She finally relented, wiping her nose with the back of her arm, tears dripping down.
“I need to remove her shirt,” the doctor said, sorting through his supplies.
Ariel* shook her head violently.
“Tell me what to do,” Ava said to the doctor. “Bucky, can I take her inside?” She tilted her head towards Bucky’s open door.
“Yes,” he shifted so Ava could help Ariel* get into his room. Ava closed the door, leaving only a small crack to save Ariel*s dignity as she listened to the doctor’s instructions. “Can someone grab her another shirt?” Ava called out.
“On it,” Bucky replied. He rushed into Ariel*’s room, eyes widening at the scene. Her pillows and blanket were tossed across the room, but on her wrinkled sheets was more blood. He cursed himself for sleeping so soundly, not even hearing her distress. Opening a drawer roughly, he retrieved a shirt, returning to his room. “Here,” he stuck his hand through the crack, holding out the shirt. Somebody took it. A moment later Ava opened the door fully. “She won’t tell me what happened. She’ll only talk to you Bucky.”
Bucky glanced around the team, all of them worried. “Debrief us in the morning,” Yelena suggested. Bucky responded with a nod.
Going inside his room and shutting the door behind him, Bucky took in the scene. Ariel, now clean and bandaged in a new shirt sat on his bed, still shaking like a frightened animal. She had stopped crying for the most part, but her face was stained with tears. “Hey Doll,” Bucky whispered, approaching her and taking a seat next to her. “You really scared me back there.”
She reached for her phone, hands shaking as she typed. Bucky reached out, cupping her hands in his, steadying it. I’m sorry. This was the worst one yet. Ariel* gazed into Bucky’s eyes, an expression of hesitation on her face.
“Doll?”
She took a deep soundless breath, typing. Bucky, the arm HYDRA gave you. Was it silver and red?
Bucky stiffened at the description, one she should not have known. “Yes. Silver with a red star.”
Ariel* shut her eyes, hair flying as she shook her head again.
“Did….did you see it in your nightmare?”
A nod. But then she opened her eyes, releasing herself from Bucky’s grip, she held up her hand. Four fingers.
“Four?” Bucky asked. “You saw four arms?”
Ariel* shook her head. She shifted on the bed, sitting up on her knees and pointing at Bucky. First her finger touched his right shoulder, then his right leg, his left leg, and finally his left shoulder. Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he took in what this meant. “Four…..four limbs? Four metal limbs.”
She nodded again. A chill went up Bucky’s spine as the thought crept into his head. He refused to say it out loud. But Ariel* must’ve thought he didn’t understand, because the finger on his left shoulder dragged down, tracing the raise where the vibranium met his skin. He reached up, taking her wrist softly. Her eyes locked with his, she knew he understood what her nightmare was about.
“Doll,” Bucky started, his voice shaky. “Doll, I…..” he trailed off, speechless. Instead, he rose off of the bed, walking over to the other side. He lifted up the blanket, getting in. “Come on.”
She looked at him, baffled.
“You’re not going back to your room tonight,” Bucky explained.
She nodded slowly. Scooching over, she got underneath the blanket, next to Bucky, who drew the covers over them. Ariel* stared at Bucky, unsure if she was even allowed to ask. She tried to grab her phone, but Bucky took it, putting it next to his on the nightstand. “Yes you can,” he said, as if he could read her mind.
She moved closer to him, snuggling into his side. His arms wrapped around her, tightly, protectively. It was all he could think of to do for her. It must’ve worked, because she fell asleep against his chest, one hand splayed across it. He held her like that for the rest of the night, as if he could protect her from her mind.
“Wait, four arms?” Bob asked when Bucky debriefed the team the next morning.
“No,” Bucky responded. “Limbs.”
Yelena’s hand flew to her mouth when the realization kicked in. Alexei stared down at the table, murmuring something in Russian. Bob’s usually cheery demeanor dimmed. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Ava whispered.
“Wait Bucky,” Walker said softly, “the scratches on her arms.”
Bucky nodded. “She was trying to rip the metal ones from her nightmare off.”
Walker was silent for once. He bit his lip, as if he was willing himself to stay quiet before he offended.
Bucky lowered his head, finally noticing that he had been gripping the edge of the table so hard he left indents in it. With a sigh, he straightened up, exiting the room without a word. Angry, he made his way to the gym. Taking out his rage on a punching bag, he silently vowed that if he ever found the people who did this to his Doll, that they would never see the light of day again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life, as it always does after hardship, continued on as if nothing had happened.
A few days after Ariel*’s nightmare, Alexei, Bucky, and Walker were assigned to a mission, leaving Ava, Yelena, and Bob in the tower with Ariel*. Bucky always hated leaving Ariel* behind, knowing that he was the only one who understood the horrors of HYDRA. But every Thunderbolt had their share of traumatic events in their lives, so he knew she would be okay.
Ariel* went about performing her duties as the team’s new chef, creating a new tradition, making each member a lunchbox of their favorite dish so they could at least have a warm meal on the ride to wherever they were going. She flipped the top of Alexei’s bag open, showing off a container of beef stroganoff and a bag of two chocolate chip cookies she had made for the team.
“Thank you Ariel*,” Alexei said as Ariel* gave him a hug for good luck.
She showed off Walker’s bag, steak, a loaded baked potato, roasted green beans, also with two cookies. “Thanks.” Ariel* gave him a nod; even after living with him for months, she still held a dislike for the man.
She stepped in front of Bucky, showing him is. Bucky loved it when she made roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and a medley of carrots and parsnips. He told her it reminded him of Sunday dinners growing up, his gateway to a happier time in his life. But for his desert there was a bag with a sticky note on top of it. Don’t tell the guys but I gave you an extra cookie. Ariel* winked at Bucky when he was done reading. “Thanks Doll,” Bucky replied, accepting her hug. Ariel* lingered a little longer than she did with Alexei, pulling back, arms still around Bucky, her lips moving but silent. Bucky didn’t need audio or magic subtitles to know what she said: Stay safe. “I will Doll,” he promised, patting her back. He broke the embrace, heading to the jet with Walker and Alexei.
Ariel* rushed to the window, watching as they took off.
“Yes!” Yelena shouted once they were gone.
Ariel* turned, confused.
“No men,” Yelena clarified, “Which means we,” she slung her arms around Ariel* and Ava, “get to do whatever we want.”
Ariel* pointed to Bob, who waved shyly.
“Bob’s in a camp of his own, but he can hang with us.”
“Yay,” Bob celebrated in a small voice.
For the next couple of days, they spent it veging out on the couch, performing various activities. They watched romcoms and made fun of them, drank wine until they were nauseous, blasted Yelena’s “cheesy white girl music” as Walker called it, played video games with Bob, cried over Barbie, followed it with a depression watch of the BBC Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth.
“I didn’t know you guys were so….bubbly,” Bob whispered one night when Ariel* fell asleep during Titanic.
“We aren’t,” Yelena replied back. “We hate this shit.”
“It’s all for her,” Ava said softly, adjusting Ariel*’s blanket. “She’s had a rough go of it. Figured we’d give her some normalcy.”
Bob gazed down at Ariel*’s sleeping form. “Well, not trying to be stereotypical, but there’s one thing we haven’t done with her.”
“What?” Yelena popped a chip into her mouth.
“Shopping.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yelena stood in between Ariel* and Ava, arms interlocked, dragging them through the mall as Bob rushed behind them. “Alright ladies!” She said dramatically, laying it on thick. “Shop till you drop!”
Ariel*’s head whirled around, disoriented at the hordes of people and the loud sounds. Lights from various stores flashed in her vision, bright colors assaulting her senses. Yelena led them into a Victoria’s Secret, Bob standing outside bashfully.
“Ooh what about this?” Ava asked, holding up a skimpy pink and black lingerie set.
“Nah, I’m more about this,” Yelena gestured at a mannequin wearing a strappy body suit, the fabric on the panties so thin, it made Ariel* wince at the thought. “Oh this is cute!” She found a light blue set, holding it up against Ariel*’s body. “You’d look great in this!”
Ariel*’s cheeks flushed, holding her hands up in a no gesture. When the women turned their backs, she made a beeline out of the store, grabbing Bob and dragging him into the darkest looking store, Hot Topic. When Yelena and Ava found them, Bob was excitedly explaining various anime to Ariel*, who pulled various items off the shelf. Bob gets something too! She texted, making sure his company wasn’t for naught.
They smelled every candle in Yankee Candle and wore ridiculously high heels in a shoe store, when they finally passed a window that held Ariel*’s interest. Ariel* paused, staring at the mannequin in the window, the rest of the team not realizing she stopped. “Ariel*?” Yelena called, a few steps ahead. They came back to her, watching as Ariel* stood mesmerized with the dress. The sundress was made of a flowy lilac fabric, not quite a maxi, but too long for a mini. Corset lacing decorated the front, giving it a bit of a cottage core vibe. “You like the dress?” Yelena asked. “It’s pretty.” Ariel* nodded. Yelena reached out, taking her hand. “Then let’s get it! That and anything else you want!” Ariel* practically ran into the store.
“Yelena,” Bob whispered as Ava went into the dressing room to help Ariel* zip the dresses she picked out up. “These clothes are expensive.”
Bob agreed, although he cringed when he saw the $500 bill for three dresses.
“You know what?” Ava asked, exiting the store. “Ariel* you remember ever having your hair done?”
Ariel* shook her head.
They led Ariel* to a salon, paying for her to get her hair fixed up. It had grown a little since she came to live with them, but the tips had split with damage. The stylist trimmed them off, also adding layers to give it body. Ariel* had seen another client leave, her hair dyed a bright blue. Afraid to go for a full on color, she had Yelena instruct the stylist with what she wanted. She left with voluminous curls, complementary highlights added to her natural hair color but with one bold, brave streak of magenta.
Afterwards they went to a nail salon at Bob’s suggestion. They worried about how well Ariel* was doing when they got separated, unable to tell the manicurist what she wanted. But when they all reunited, sitting next to each other as they got pedicures, Ariel* put their fears to rest, showing off her nails, cleaned up and painted black with intricate gold details. “Looks nice!” Ava complimented, showing off her claws, a blush pink with cherry blossom designs.
Yelena leaned in, taking a closer look at Ariel*’s hands. “Kinda looks like Bucky’s arm,” she noted. Ariel* drew her hand back, pushing one of her new curls behind her ear.
“Ariel* loves Bucky,” Bob teased, causing Ariel* to blush and Yelena and Ava to send him a bone chilling glare.
“He’ll be back soon,” Ava reassured her. “I’m sure he’ll like your nails.”
When they paid their bills, Ariel* stood back, catching a whiff of something. She sniffed, the smell captivating her. It was fresh and clean, like a fancy shampoo, with a slight touch of a sweet floral, and a pinch of a peppery spice. A young woman, sitting in the waiting area scrolled on her phone, waiting for her appointment. She tossed her hair behind her back, making the smell stronger. Ariel* tapped Ava on the shoulder, showing off a message she wrote, tilting her head towards the woman. Can you ask her what perfume she is wearing?
“Excuse me miss,” Ava said, approaching the woman slowly. “My friend likes your perfume but is too shy to ask what it is.”
“Oh, thank you!” The woman replied, adjusting her purse so it sat on her lap. “It has a bit of a weird name. Hold on a sec, I have a travel spray.” She dug in her purse, producing her makeup bag. Unzipping it, she dug around, finally producing a travel spray bottle painted purple. “It’s Gucci Flora Gorgeous Magnolia.”
“Thanks.” She turned, Ariel* had disappeared, already halfway across the hallway walking to Ulta like she was on a mission. Weaving through the aisles, she found the perfume section, skimming the plaques on the shelves that told her what brand she was looking at. Finally, she came across the Gucci section, her eyes finding on the bottle she was searching for; purple, with a white label with various flowers decorating it, and a gold cap. She picked up the tester bottle carefully, bringing it to her nose. A strange feeling came over her, a missing puzzle piece clicking to place in her brain. The smell was comfort, safety, a whiff of a life she once had, in an apartment, sitting on the stool of an old fashioned vanity as she fixed her lipstick and spritzed on perfume.
“Ariel*?” Yelena’s voice pulled her from the memory.
Ariel* smiled fondly, reaching for her phone. This was my perfume.
“You wore this before?”
Yes. Everyday. It was my ritual. Light brown eyeshadow, black eyeliner, mascara, blush, red lipstick, like the 40s and 50s starlets. And then this.
“Well then,” Bob looked around, searching for an employee. “We’re getting you a bottle.”
“The lipstick, do you remember what it looked like?” Ava asked.
Just a plain black bullet, maybe some silver detail?
Ava and Yelena shared a glance. “MAC.” They led her to the brand section, grazing through the testers of red lipstick before Ariel* eagerly pointed at one.
“Russian Red,” Yelena read off the shade name. “How……fitting….”
They followed this pattern until Ariel* found every product in her makeup routine. Gathering a brush set and some remover, they checked out of their final store if the day, Ariel* giddy that some part of herself, no matter how small, had come back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Fuck,” Walker sighed, leaning against the elevator wall. “It’s good to be home.”
Alexei hummed in agreement. “I can’t wait for home cooked meal.”
“And a shower,” Bucky added, pressing the button. “But first, let’s let them know we’re home.”
Walker held up a thumb half heartedly.
When the elevator doors opened, they saw chaos.
The couch cushions were upturned, pillows and blankets with them in a makeshift fort. Bowls of snacks sat on the floor, some of them upturned, with several empty bottles of rosé next to them. Yelena had glitter gel on her face, jumping around to the loud music blaring from a speaker with a hairbrush. Ava sat back, giggling. Bob hopped with Yelena, glitter also smeared on his face, a lopsided flower crown on his head and his own hairbrush, wobbling drunkenly as he screamed along. “Whoa I never meant to brag, but I got him where I wanted now!”
“Whoa it was never my intention to brag to steal it all away from you now!” Yelena echoed.
Bob fell to his knees. “BUT GOD DOES IT FEEL SO GOOD!”
“What the hell?” Walker asked.
The three of them froze, unaware that they were being watched. “Hey guys,” Yelena said slowly, facing them.
Bucky chuckled. “What’s all this?”
“A sleepover!” Bob hiccuped.
“Bob, how many glasses of wine have you had?”
“Uh……..what’s two bottles worth?”
Walker scrubbed a hand over his face. “Jesus Christ.”
“A sleepover huh?” Bucky turned to Ava, the only calm one in the room.
“Yeah, we kinda went a little crazy,” she said.
“I can see that.”
“It’s supposed to be crazy,” Yelena chimed in. “We’ve been doing a bunch of girls night activities.”
“Girls night?”
“For Ariel*,” Ava added. “She’s had a hard time. We figured we should do something fun. Over the top, you know, make her happy.”
“Make her forget about the bad and focus on the good,” Yelena said.
“She deserves nice things,” Bob picked up a half drunk bottle, which Alexei promptly snatched from him, only to down it himself.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Bucky’s eyes scanned the area. “Where is Ariel* anyway?”
A toilet flush followed by the sound of a sink answered his question. The door opened a moment later, causing Bucky’s breath to hitch.
Ariel* glided into the room, eyes focused on the floor, the skirt of her lilac dress bouncing with each step. Her hair looked healthier, shinier, styled into loose curls. Bucky noticed the pink streak hidden in the natural color. Bold and bright, just like she was when she wasn’t reflecting on pain. Her eye makeup enhanced her eyes instead of being distracting, subtle but still there. Red painted her lips, pink bringing a healthy natural flush to her cheeks. Bucky’s heart pounded in his chest so hard he could feel it in his ears, a warm feeling crossing his cheeks, matching hers. His breathing turned shaky, stolen away from the sight of her. He swallowed, throat dry all of a sudden, trying to regain his composure. “You look nice Doll.”
Ariel*s head perked up, a grin spreading on her face when she caught sight of him. She walked over, quickly, but not in a full run, enveloping him in a hug. Bucky smelled something fresh and sweet but with a bite to it, something so uniquely her. “New perfume?”
She nodded.
“Ariel* remembered what makeup and perfume she wore everyday,” Yelena explained so she didn’t have to dig her phone out.
“She got her nails done too,” Ava interjected.
“Smells nice,” Bucky said, carefully inhaling more of the scent. “Like it was made for you. I like this too,” he picked up the strand of colored hair gently, tucking it behind her ear. He grabbed her hand, inspecting the new polish. “This is a nice color combo.” She glanced away shyly.
The music on the speaker switched from a rock sound to an easier, softer, melodic intro. Ariel*’s eyes lit up. She moved away from Bucky, going to the speaker and turning the music up even louder. “IT’S LOUD ENOUGH!” Walker shouted, covering his ears and stomping out to go to his room. Ariel* spun around, skirt billowing around her, her mouth moving to the words of the song, as if she was the singer herself.
Well I want you to stay. Until I’m in the grave. Until I rot away, dead and buried. ‘Til I’m in the casket you carry.
“Wait, what did she just say?” Bucky asked, shocked at the darkness in comparison to the breezy music.
Ariel* ignored him, spinning up to him and taking hold of his hands.
“What are you doing?”
Ariel* made pushing and pulling motions, still holding on to his hands.
“She wants you to dance,” Yelena yelled over the music.
“Dance? Doll, wait, I don’t dance!”
“Dance!” Bob cried out.
“I haven’t danced since the 40s!”
“Dance.” Ava started a chant, which everyone followed. “Dance dance dance dance.”
“Okay fine!” Bucky gave in, as Ariel* dragged him to the center of the room.
Birds of a feather, we should stick together.
Bucky found his rhythm quickly, swaying in time to the music. Ariel*’s smile widened, her hands squeezing his a bit tighter. With a chuckle, Bucky pulled her closer, his right hand settling on her waist. He led her around the floor, spinning her around and dipping her whenever the music called for it. Joy spread across Ariel*’s face, causing Bucky to smile in return.
Oh I don’t know what I’m crying for. I don’t think I could love you more. Might not be long, but baby I, don’t wanna say goodbye
Suddenly, as the music reached its final swell, Ariel* backed up, still holding his hands and twirled them around. Bucky allowed it, the air in the room rushing past them and making their hair fly about, her skirt flow around. He laughed, louder and happier than he had in a long time. Ariel*’s shoulders shook in silent laughter, sending that pang to his heart again. This was cruel, months had passed and yet they still didn’t know what caused her forced silence.
He didn’t have too much time to think about it, Ariel*’s bare foot slipping against the floor and causing them to tumble to the ground right as the song ended. Bucky twisted so that he shielded her from the fall, his back hitting the hard floor as she landed on his chest.
“You okay Doll?” He asked, concerned.
Ariel*’s response was crinkled eyes, dimpled cheeks, a toothy smile, and shoulders moving in more silent laughter.
Bucky laid back, relieved, her happiness infectious, causing him to laugh again. She rolled off of him, lying next to him as his laughter echoed through the room.
Neither of them noticed that the rest of the team had left.
Author’s note: Songs used this chapter are Misery Business by Paramore and Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 4)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Check These Out
John Walker was many things, a good cook was not one of them. The Thunderbolts rotated who cooked dinner every night. None of them were Michelin Star chefs, but their food was edible. Even Alexei, who looked like he cooked in a kitchen run by rats, and not the kind who helped prepare a meal, was competent in the kitchen. Walker’s cuisine on the other hand only had one flavor, burnt. And like every stereotypical, over confident white man, the man only knew how to make one dish: steak, mashed potatoes, and vegetables. Everything was burnt. He roasted the vegetables too high and too long. The mashed potatoes were the flakes that came out of a box, yet somehow they tasted burnt. Yelena was convinced that Walker defied the laws of physics and managed to burn water. And worst of all, the steak.
“Eat up,” Walker said, placing what looked like rocks on the table, again.
Alexei didn’t even hesitate, whipping out his phone and submitting a Doordash order.
“Seriously Walker,” Yelena groaned, “can we just leave steak night to Bucky?”
“No we can’t leave steak night to Bucky,” Walker mocked her, using a knife to saw into a steak. The knife didn’t even go through, he might as well have been trying to cut leather.
“I know I like my steak well done, but this is too far,” Bob said.
“Which is a crime!” Walker exclaimed. “Steak should always be medium.”
“Okay if this is medium, then why the hell is it burnt?” Ava asked.
“It’s not burnt, it’s charred,” Walker protested right as Ariel* stabbed a steak and held it up, sticking her tongue out in disgust. “Char means flavor.”
“I know what char is,” Bucky said, “this? This is charcoal.”
Walker slammed his utensils down on the table. “Okay fine! I get it! Bucky’s better than me. He’s the better cook, he’s the better soldier-“
Bucky held his hands up. “Whoa, nobody said anything like that!”
“But you guys were thinking it!”
“Yeah, we were” Yelena admitted. Ariel* nodded in agreement.
Alexei put his phone down. “Pizza’s on the way.”
“Ya know what? Forget this!” Walker rose, taking his plate.
“Come on John, don’t be like that!” Ava yelled after him.
Walker flipped them off, storming out of the room.
When the next “Walker Burns Food Day” came around, Ariel* went to Bucky, insisting on going grocery shopping.
“Grocery shopping?” Bucky asked.
Ariel* typed on her phone. Gonna show Walker the proper way to prepare a steak.
Curious, Bucky indulged her request, accompanying her to a butcher’s shop, a liquor store, a bakery, and a farmer’s market.
As dinner time came around, Walker swaggered into the kitchen. Ariel* ran over, holding her arms out and blocking his path. “Move it Ariel*, it’s my turn to cook,” Walker said.
She shook her head, pointing out of the kitchen.
“I don’t have time for this.”
She stomped her foot, still pointing out, giving him a hard stare.
“Just do what she says Walker,” Bucky said from the couch.
Walker mumbled, pouting like a toddler as he sat on the couch, arms crossed.
Heavenly smells filled the common area, making the team’s stomach’s growl. Whenever they tried to approach Ariel* to see what she was doing so differently, she would chase them out with tongs. The only exception was allowing Bucky to pour red wine for everyone when he came over to ask if she needed help. After a while, Ariel* clicked the tongs, summoning everyone to the dinner table.
The team took their seats, Ariel* positioning the food in front of them. First came a basket of the dinner rolls she reheated in the oven, a small bowl of herbed butter and a small bowl of honey butter with them. Next came a serving bowl of homemade mashed potatoes. Ariel* held up a head of garlic, informing the team of the seasoning. Roasted vegetables followed along with a separate bowl of sautéed onions and mushrooms. And finally the steak, on a serving tray with one toothpick in one steak, Bob’s, his cooked well done, at the end.
The team stared in amazement, even Walker seemed impressed. Ariel* reached for the serving spoon of the mashed potatoes, dolloping some on Bucky’s plate. She widened her eyes at the rest of the team, putting potatoes on her plate and then passing the bowl to Alexei. “You heard her,” Yelena said, “let’s eat!”
The steak melted like butter, perfectly cooked and well seasoned. Bob nearly cried when he realized it was actually edible. Yelena moaned at how silky the mashed potatoes were, immediately spooning more onto her plate. Ava slathered honey butter on a dinner roll, not even caring about how gluttonous she looked. Alexei, a meat and potatoes man, shoved the roasted vegetables in his mouth, giving Ariel* appreciative pats on the back. “Damn,” Bucky said, “Doll, this is the best steak I’ve ever had in my life.”
“And he’s had a long life,” Bob added.
Ariel* grinned, pleased at the compliment. Her eyes settled on Walker, who was slowly chewing his steak. The team followed suit, waiting for Walker’s verdict. Walker sat up straight, swallowing. He grabbed his napkin, wiping his mouth and milking the moment. “Ariel*’s in charge of steak night from now on.”
Bob whooped, Yelena and Ava right behind him. Alexei raised his hands in the air triumphantly. “Oh thank God,” Bucky said under his breath.
The next few weeks, Ariel* showed how talented of a cook she was. She made the simplest of foods seem like they came out of high end restaurants. Her desserts tasted like they came straight from a professional bakery. She had an understanding of various cuisines, preparing various ethnic dishes as if it was in her blood, learned across generations of women. And sometimes, if she felt like it, she would prepare things from scratch. It started when Bob had tried to make spaghetti for everyone, dejected when he realized they were out of noodles. Ariel* hopped up from the couch, retrieving flour and eggs, rolling her sleeves up, and went to work making fresh pasta. Soon everyone fought over cooking lessons with Ariel*, watching her cook and writing down what she did on their phones, knowing that she did not like notebooks. Walker even let her show him how to make steak. His next attempt was not perfect, but it was a huge step in his culinary journey.
One time Ariel* insisted that Bucky invite Sam, Joaquin, and Sarah over to repay them for feeding her. Since Sam and Sarah were from Louisiana, she opted for a Mardi Gras inspired feast. Gumbo, red beans and rice, étouffée, grits, beignets. Upon one bite, Joaquin ran over to Ariel*, sinking on his knees. “Marry me!”
Bucky shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
Sam rose, yanking Joaquin to his feet. “Come on man, don’t act a damn fool!” Sam pushed Joaquin in the direction he came from. “But ya know, if you are lookin’ for a man,” Sam whispered to Ariel*, “I know a good one right-“
“Sam!” Sarah scolded, noticing the threatening way Bucky was holding his now bent fork. “Now you’re actin’ a fool.” She turned to Ariel* “But if you don’t mind, can I get this beignet recipe?”
Even Valentina was impressed. She had stopped by for a check in, brow raised in confusion when she saw Ariel* making her own ravioli. “My Nonna used to say ravioli is an unforgiving art,” she stated, dismissing Ariel*’s skill. But when Ariel* placed a dish of those little pillows in front of her, Valentina took a hesitant bite, eyes widening. “Oh my god,” she said, eagerly cutting into the pasta. “These are better than my Nonna’s.” Ariel* smiled at her, putting more ravioli on her plate. “You know, Ariel* was it? If we can’t figure out what your old job was, you can be the team’s personal chef. We’ll pay you handsomely.”
“Please say yes!” Bob cried out, holding his hands together, begging.
Ariel* turned to Bucky, who shrugged. “It’s your choice Doll, you’re in command.”
Her smile grew even bigger at that. She extended her hand out to Valentina, who took it and shook, sealing the deal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You know what I don’t get?” Walker asked one afternoon, walking back from a training session. “If she remembers how to cook like that, why’d it take her so long to do it?”
“Maybe you just needed to burn food enough times to trigger her,” Yelena joked.
“Very funny Yelena,” Walker replied dryly. “But seriously, Ariel* cooks like she’s a professional chef.”
A lightbulb went off in Bucky’s head. He paused, holding out his arm and stopping Walker. “You just gave me an idea.”
Bucky called the team together for a meeting, explaining his plan. “We contact every restaurant in New York City. Not just high end ones, every single one. We ask them if Ariel* has worked for them.”
“If someone knows her, we can figure out who she is,” Ava finished.
“Exactly,” Bucky said, rolling his neck. “Let’s get to work.”
The team spent an hour each day contacting restaurants, either via email if they had one or going to them in person, showing them pictures of Ariel*. Unfortunately, every one they went to said no or that she could’ve been a customer. This went on for about two weeks, when Bucky came upon a Korean restaurant. Steeling himself for the worst, he stepped inside. It was small, a real hole in the wall type place, with most of the food served cafeteria style. A Korean woman in her early 60s bustled around the front of the house, tending to the six or so tables, yelling orders at her husband in the back. She noticed Bucky, “I’ll be with you in a minute,” she said, pouring more water for a customer.
“Yes ma’am,” Bucky said, maneuvering between tables and going to the front counter.
“How can I help you?” The woman asked, placing her pitcher down.
“I’m Bucky Barnes, from The New Avengers,” he cringed at the stupid name Valentina had told the press, the team preferred Thunderbolts anyway.
“I’ve heard of you,” the woman said.
Bucky reached into his pocket, pulling out a photo. “We found a woman with amnesia and are trying to figure out who she is. She cooks really well, did she maybe work for you once?” He held out the photo for the woman.
Her face lit up with recognition. “Yes! I know her! She used to come in every Friday. Sometimes she tried something new, but usually the same thing. Combo number 1: white rice, beef bulgogi, jap-chae, spicy potato, pickled radish and kimchi. Sometimes she’d swap the kimchi for spicy cucumber. I wondered what happened to her! I figured she moved away.”
Bucky leaned forward, happy to hear this information. “That’s great! Do you remember her name?”
The woman shook her head. “She never called in her order. She always came and either ate here or grabbed it to go. I know her, but never learned her name. Sorry.”
Bucky sighed, upset that he had gotten so close, yet so far away.
“Is she okay?” The woman asked. “You said she has no memories. Did she get in an accident?”
“Yeah,” Bucky lied. “But she’s alright now, just trying to figure out who she is.” He dug in his wallet, pulling out a $20, the highest bill he had, and putting it in the tip jar. “Thanks though.” He turned on his heel.
The woman stared at the tip jar, bewildered by how much money Bucky left in there. “No. Thank you!”
The interaction gave Bucky another idea though. That Friday night, he sought out Ariel*, who was sitting in her room tending to Jerry the plant. “Come on Doll,” he said, offering her his arm, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
The restaurant was in walking distance from the tower, so they walked arm in arm with Bucky on the street side. Across the street from the place, Ariel paused. She glanced around the area, scrutinizing every detail. “Look familiar?” Bucky asked.
Ariel* retrieved her phone. Yes. It does. Especially there. She pointed at the restaurant.
“Good, cause that’s where we’re going.” Bucky led her across the street, opening the door for her.
The woman behind the counter perked up when she saw them. “Hello again!” She called out. “I thought you’d be coming so I saved you a table!” She rushed out, grabbing two glasses and her pitcher of ice water, guiding them to a small table in the corner.
“Thank you,” Bucky said, pulling the chair out for Ariel*.
“How are you feeling?” The woman asked Ariel* as she poured them drinks. “Your friend said you had an accident.”
Ariel* looked at Bucky. “She just recovered from a bad case of laryngitis,” Bucky made up a story, “she still doesn’t have her voice back.”
The woman waved her hand dismissively. “That’s okay, I know exactly what you want.” She disappeared behind the counter, metal lids clanging as she made Ariel*’s order. She returned with a plate with a giant pile of food. “And because I wasn’t sure which one you were going for,” she produced a bowl of an extra side, cucumbers covered in a red looking sauce.
Ariel* typed on her phone excitedly. Oi-muchim! She put the phone down and grabbed a pair of chopsticks, digging in.
“That’s right!” The woman said, a warm smile on her face. “I’m glad you remember my food. And the proper name for it too!” She turned to Bucky. “And for you sir?”
Bucky craned his neck to look at the menu, written on a white board above the counter. “I’ve never had Korean food before,” he admitted. “What should I get Doll?”
Ariel* picked up her phone again. Do you like spicy?
“Yeah. I can handle spice.”
Ariel* gave him a thumbs up, typing a longer message for the owner. The woman skimmed the words, giving Ariel* a nod. She came back a few moments later with a heaping plate for Bucky. “Pork bulgogi,” the woman explained, showing off the red stir fry. “White rice, jap-chae, spicy potato, sesame potato, and seaweed salad.” Her husband called for her from the kitchen, prompting her to reply in Korean. “I’ll be right back. Hope you enjoy.”
Bucky retrieved his own pair of chopsticks. “It looks delicious. Smells good too.” He picked up a piece of the pork, stuffing it in his mouth. “Wow. This is amazing.” And then he swallowed, warmth blooming in his chest. “Oh,” he said, the heat still tingling on his tastebuds. “That’s…” he coughed, reaching for his water. “Hotter than I thought.”
Ariel*’s body language seemed to indicate a giggle, but no noise came out. She made a beckoning motion with her hand. He leaned in closer, Ariel* using her chopsticks to grab some of her pickled radish, making an ah motion with her mouth. Bucky obeyed, opening his mouth. She fed him the radish, the refreshing, vinegary taste relieving the heat. “Mmm,” Bucky hummed, “that’s good too.”
The ate, sharing the food on each others plates. Bucky’s forehead was beaded with sweat, still affected by the heat, but growing more accustomed to it. Ariel* tried not to laugh at him, attempting to quell his pain and dignity by suggesting water or putting more pickled radish on his plate. Bucky really enjoyed the oi-muchim, spicy cucumbers. When him and Ariel* came upon the last cucumber, they fought over it, using their chopsticks as weapons. Of course Bucky was going to let her have it, but he enjoyed watching the happiness spread on Ariel*’s face, fuller in the few months she’d been with him, her smile wide and her eyes crinkling. It was bittersweet for him though, her shoulders rose and fell in laughter, but it was silent. Bucky’s heart ached, how he wished to hear her laugh. Eyes closing, he imagined what it would be like, believing it to be joyous and ringing, like church bells chiming on a wedding day. He longed for the day she could speak again, vowing that he would be the first one to make her laugh. Bucky would make himself look like an idiot to hear it.
Bellies full, Bucky paid the bill, leaving an even bigger tip than last time. Walking back home in the chilly night air, Ariel* suddenly paused, taking out her phone. I remember now. I used to go there every Friday night. The lady used to make fun of me for ordering the same things and would sometimes give me samples so I would try something new.
Bucky read the message, glad that the trip jostled her mind, revealing another memory. “I was hoping the food would help you remember something. I’m glad it worked.”
Can we go there every Friday? Her eyes were wide and pleading.
Bucky chuckled. “Of course! Although I don’t think the rest of the team will like having to cook for themselves again!”
Ariel* giggled silently. We should bring them sometime. But I think Walker’s head would explode from the spice.
“That or being tricked into eating tofu.” Bucky puffed out his chest, walking in a swagger, and altering his voice to imitate Walker. “Real men eat meat, not that frufru shit!”
Ariel* hid her face behind her hand, laughing some more. The silence hit Bucky like a bullet in the chest. He needed to know the cure for this; he needed it like he needed oxygen.
A breeze flew by, making Ariel* shiver. Without hesitation, Bucky shouldered his leather jacket off, holding it out for Ariel*. “Here, wear this.” Ariel* hesitated, but turned around, letting him help her put it on. The jacket was still big and loose on her, but unlike the last time she had worn Bucky’s clothes, she didn’t drown in them anymore. She settled into the jacket, inhaling the lingering scent of Bucky’s cologne, a smell she associated with warmth and safety. “It’s a nice jacket right?” Bucky asked. She nodded, but grabbed his sleeve, pinching the thin fabric and holding it up. “I’ll be fine,” he reassured her. “The cold doesn’t bother me that much.”
Even so, Ariel* held out her hand, Bucky taking it. She walked again, setting a quick pace so they could get Bucky home before he got sick. A few months prior, Bucky would’ve been damned if he let someone boss him and drag him around like this. But now? Now he watched this mysterious, wonderful, silent woman from his peripheral, a dumb smile on his face. In his head he added to his checklist:
Doll’s Memories:
-she likes video games
-had a ZZ Plant
-An American in Paris
-loves to cook
-Korean food every Friday: beef bulgogi, pickled radish, kimichi or spicy cucumbers
The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader: (Chapter 3)
Summary: The Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, who has no memory and cannot speak. They take her in and dub her Ariel* after The Little Mermaid. As she tries to get her memory back, she bonds with Bucky, who realizes HYDRA tried to make her the next Winter Soldier. (The asterisk is being used in the same way it was for the Thunderbolts* title here just go with it please) So yes this is an x reader fic but because reader can’t remember her name, she is referred to as Ariel* for now
Series Masterlist, And If You Like This Check These Out
Freedom was new to Ariel*. The first few days in the Tower, she didn’t know what to do with herself. Yelena had rush ordered furniture, bedding, and towels for her, giving her the empty room next to Bucky’s. However, Ariel* still had to sleep in Bucky’s room, the bed coming in late. That next day, Ariel* woke up early, making her way to the living room. But the strange thing was, she didn’t do anything. She sat on the couch for a few hours just staring into space. Walker and Yelena were startled when they entered, Ariel* rising quickly and turning to face them.
“Uh, hi?” Yelena said, clutching her chest.
Ariel* just blinked at them.
“Is there something you want to tell us?” Yelena asked.
No answer.
“Okay then,” she made her way to the kitchen. Ariel* sat down again.
“What’s she doing?” Walker whispered, making himself coffee.
“I think she’s trying to remember something,” Yelena replied.
“She’s just sitting there,” Walker continued. “It’s kind of freaky.”
Things grew more awkward when Walker and Yelena made themselves breakfast, Ariel* watching them intently. Walker shifted in his seat as he ate his cereal, eyes locked on Ariel’s*, suspicious.
The elevator dinged, Bucky and Bob entering, sweaty from a morning training session. Bob, being the least experienced member of the team (he still didn’t want to use his Sentry powers should The Void appear again), had asked Bucky to teach him how to fight. Bucky had agreed, giving him lessons twice a week. “Morning,” Bucky greeted Walker and Yelena, he waved at Ariel* on the couch.
“She’s being weird,” Walker said.
“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.
“She’s just been sitting there,” Yelena explained. “Watching us. I asked her if she wanted to tell us something, but she didn’t answer. I think she’s trying to remember something.”
Bucky glanced back at Ariel*, who had risen again. She stood perfectly straight, arms behind her back, eyes fixated on him. It was a stance he knew too well, a soldier waiting for a command. “Oh God,” Bucky muttered when he realized.
“What?” Bob asked.
“She’s waiting for someone to order her around,” Bucky explained.
“Oh is that it?” Walker sighed. “Fine then. Ariel* stop freaking us out!”
“WALKER!” Everyone yelled at once.
Bucky glared at Walker, his vibranium hand forming a fist at his side. He’s not worth it. He sighed, making his way over to Ariel*. “You don’t have to wait for an order,” he said gently. “You can do whatever you feel like doing.”
Ariel* tilted her head, brows furrowed, she moved a hand out from behind her back, making a gimme motion. Bucky pulled out his phone, “We need to get you one of these,” he said putting it in her hand.
She typed out a message. No orders? Do you really mean that?
“Yes,” Bucky said. “No one here is going to boss you around. Well maybe Walker, but just ignore him. You can do whatever you want whenever you feel like it. You don’t need permission. The Tower is your home now, so make the most of it. Okay?”
She handed his phone back to him, nodding. Slowly, Ariel* made her way into the kitchen. Her hand reached out for the pantry door, pausing right before she made contact with the handle. She paused, looking at the rest of the team, who all sat at the table eating their breakfasts. Ariel* turned back to the pantry, finally opening it. Scanning the labels, she found an opened box of cereal with the words Free Game written on it in Sharpie. Taking it, she searched for a bowl and spoon, pouring out some for herself. Her head lifted up, watching the team again, but they paid her no mind. She went to the fridge then, grabbing the milk. Giving one last look around, she splashed some into her bowl, putting the gallon back carefully. Making her way to the table, she sat down next to Bucky. She no longer hesitated, immediately spooning the cereal into her mouth.
Bucky watched her from the corner of his eye, proud that she had taken that first step. “Anything you want,” he reminded Ariel*, “you do it. Okay Doll?”
She nodded in understanding as she crunched her cereal.
“Baby steps,” Bob said, reaching over and patting her hand.
When it came to sleep, Bob’s description was accurate. The first night in her room, Ariel* didn’t sleep in her bed. Shortly after midnight, the team was woken by a loud thud followed by Walker’s shouting. Jumping out of bed and opening their doors frantically, the Thunderbolts stumbled upon the scene. Ariel* had brought her pillow and blanket out into the hallway, sleeping on the floor. Walker, having gotten up for a midnight snack, didn’t see her and tripped, busting his chin on the floor.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Walker yelled, towering over Ariel*. Ariel* scrambled back, backing into the wall, hiding her face behind her arms like she was expecting to be struck.
“Walker!” Bucky growled, giving him a harsh shove.
“What?” Walker barked, pressing a hand to his chin to stop the bleeding. “She should be sleeping in her bed, not in the middle of the goddamn floor!”
“John!” Ava cried out, “Stop, you’re scaring her!”
Ariel* placed her hands on her ears, rocking back and forth, trembling. Bucky knelt in front of her, grabbing her hands and lowering them. “Hey, it’s okay” he cooed, rubbing his thumb across her hands.
Walker’s shoulders fell, ashamed. “Shit, I didn’t mean to scare-“
“Just get out of here Walker,” Yelena said, exasperated.
Walker turned on his heel, opening his mouth and reaching for Ariel*. Alexei put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s take care of that,” he said, leading Walker away.
Ava sat down in front of Bucky. “Why is she on the floor anyway?”
“It happens,” Bucky said, wrapping his arms around Ariel*, “I’ve done it before.”
Bob dug into his pajama pocket, producing his phone. He held it out to Ariel*. Ariel* used it to explain. Couldn’t sleep. Felt like someone was coming for me. Figured I could keep a look out in the hallway. But I must’ve fell asleep.
Yelena also sat down on the floor. “Nobody’s coming for you,” she said gently. Ariel* looked at her in disbelief.
“It’s true Doll,” Bucky chimed in. “I’ll prove it to you.” He shifted so he was sitting with his back to the wall. Grabbing Ariel*’s blanket, he covered them both, putting his arm around her shoulders.
The rest of them didn’t hesitate. Ava moved to sit next to Ariel, Bob choosing a seat next to Bucky, Yelena sighed, lying down and using Bob’s lap as a pillow. Ariel* glanced at them, confused. “Night guys,” Bucky said quietly.
“Goodnight,” Ava replied.
“Night,” Bob answered.
Yelena snored.
Bucky turned his head, smiling down at Ariel*. Her lips curled up in reply, with what looked like a sigh, she tilted her head, resting it on Bucky’s shoulder. Within minutes all five of them were asleep.
When Bucky woke in the morning, he had a stiff neck, an ache in his back, and drool on his shirt from where Bob had used him as a pillow. But when he looked down at Ariel*, relaxed and sleeping on his shoulder, he knew it was worth it.
Ariel* did manage to sleep in her room the next night, but she insisted on keeping her door open, so she could see the hallway. For a whole week, Bucky would sneak out into the hallway, lying next to the wall to avoid another tripping incident, and remained on guard until she fell asleep, returning to his room, hoping she was none the wiser. Except for one night, he had actually fallen asleep, woken up by a light jostle. “Huh?” His eyes fluttered open, he was being dragged back into his room by an unseen force. Twisting his head, he found Ariel*, now knowing his secret, her arms under his, pulling him with ease. She didn’t notice that he was awake. Bucky stifled a chuckle, pretending to be asleep. He let her drag him back into his room, pick him up, and position him on the bed, trying hard to act like dead weight. Ariel* actually tucked him in like he was a child, making a warm feeling bloom in his chest. She even brushed some hair out of his face. Once satisfied with her job, Ariel* backed out of the room, slowly, careful not to make any noise. When he was sure she was at the door, Bucky couldn’t hold back anymore. “Thank you Doll,” he said.
The door stopped suddenly, Ariel* shocked that he knew her little secret. She paused in the doorway, staring at Bucky. Giving him a small nod, she returned to her room.
Some nights, nightmares plagued her. Ariel* couldn’t scream, but Bucky could always tell, he could hear her tossing and turning through the wall. She always came to him when it happened, remembering what he had told her on her first night. Bucky would sit with her in his room. “You can talk about it if you want,” he would say, knowing she brought her phone with her, “but you don’t have to.” Some nights she wouldn’t type anything, others she would. The nightmares were disjointed, only small details, but never a full scene. Needles. Pain. Mentions of metal. The lightbulb swinging in her cell. Random things that brought her fear, but Bucky could fill in the blanks. They would talk and then she would go back to her room and sleep soundly the rest of the night.
Soon the nightmares came every night. One night, Ariel* came in terrified and frustrated. I have all these damn nightmares but can’t remember a thing! What’s the fucking point then? I’ve been here two months and I’m scared all the time but don’t know why. When will my memory come back Bucky? I know you said soon, but I feel like giving up already. When will it come back? When?
He felt bad that he didn’t have an answer for her. “It takes time. Took me almost four years to get mine back,” he said. That just frustrated her even more. “I’m sorry, I wish I could help more.” Bucky took her hand in his. Ariel’s* fingers skimmed across his cold metal ones, when she finally gazed at him, a look of hesitancy in her eyes. “Doll?” Bucky asked.
Ariel* let go of his hand, bringing hers up and laying it on the left side of his chest, right were the metal connected to flesh. She patted it a couple of times. “You want to know what happened?” Bucky asked. She nodded. Bucky sighed, preparing himself. “I was a soldier in World War II,” he began. “I was believed to be dead in a train explosion, but HYDRA found me.” He told her his story, and she listened intently. At the end, she shifted onto her knees, crawling closer to him and giving him a hug. “Thanks,” he said, accepting it. “I needed that.”
Ariel* pulled away, a sad smile on her face. She reached for her phone. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but, I’m glad I met you Bucky. Now I know I’m not alone.
“Me too,” Bucky said.
She typed again. Thanks Bucky.
She got up, going to return to her room.
“Hey Doll,” Bucky called out before she left.
She turned.
“You’ll remember something soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A memory came in the third month, in the form of dark green.
Ariel* noticed that Ava hadn’t come to the living room all day. Yelena said that Ava told her she wasn’t feeling too well. Since she was enjoying a cup of tea at the time, Ariel* decided to bring one to Ava. She knocked on Ava’s door. “Come in,” Ava called out, voice groggy. “Oh hey Ariel*,” she said, blowing her nose.
Ariel* walked over to her bed, putting the mug down on Ava’s nightstand.
“Is that for me?” Ava asked. “Thank you.”
Ariel* looked around the room, surprised at all the greenery. Ava had a collection of various plants scattered about the room. Purple orchids, aloe vera, cacti, succulents, snake plants. Ava followed Ariel’s* gaze. “You like my plants?” She paused, coughing into her elbow.
Ariel* nodded, walking around and admiring them.
“I’ve always liked plants, ever since I was little,” Ava said. “Taking care of them, it, it makes me feel better. Especially on days when I really feel depressed about ya know,” she phased out of her bed and reappeared next to Ariel*. “This.”
Ariel* cocked her head suddenly, taking a particular interest in a plant on the windowsill behind Ava. She moved past her slowly, eyes narrowing at the plant.
It sat in a dark blue pot, stalks of forest green shooting up with thick lush leaves. Ariel’s fingers reached out instinctively, rubbing the leaves gently.
“You like that one?” Ava queried, phasing next to her again.
Ariel* nodded.
“It’s a Zamioculcas zamiifolia,” Ava explained.
Ariel* dug into her pocket, tapping away on her phone. A ZZ plant.
“Yes!” Ava exclaimed. She recoiled when she registered that Ariel* shouldn’t have known that. Watching closely, she noticed how gentle Ariel* was with the plant, her face giving off an expression of fondness. Ava set her mug to the side. “You know, I have to repot that one. It’s gotten too big for its pot. Actually it looks like I can split it into two plants. Would you like one?”
Ariel* spun, surprised at Ava’s offer. She grinned, nodding vigorously.
“Okay, give me a few minutes okay?”
Ava went to work, producing her gardening supplies. She made sure to glove her hands before touching the new pot and the plant, that way she wouldn’t spread her cold to Ariel. Once the ZZ was split with one half in a pot for Ariel, she handed it to her. “There you go,” Ava said. “I’ll text you care instructions. Okay?”
Ariel* nodded again, mouthing the words Thank you and left the room quickly, hugging the pot.
Ava whipped out her phone, sending a text to the group chat. I think Ariel just remembered something.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The team sat on the couch, all staring at the new plant on the coffee table.
“What is it?” Bob asked.
“It’s a plant,” Yelena replied
“I know that I meant what type of plant!”
“Zamioculcas zamiifolia,” Ava answered, a mask on her face.
“English Ava,” Walker said sarcastically.
“It’s known as a ZZ plant,” Ava explained. “Ariel* was admiring mine and she knew that name. I think she might have had one before.”
“Speaking of,” Bucky said, glancing around. “Where is she?”
“Copy room,” Alexei responded. “She asked to print something.”
The elevator dinged, Ariel* stepping off with a piece of paper and a roll of tape. She smiled and waved at the gang.
“Hey Doll,” Bucky welcomed her. “We were just talking about your new plant.”
Ariel* crouched down by the table, pointing at Ava. She scooted the pot closer to her, retrieving a piece of tape.
“What are you doing?” Yelena asked.
Ariel* held up one finger, securing the piece of paper to the pot. Once she was satisfied, she sat back, admiring her work. Finally she turned it around, showing off her plant.
Bob moved in closer, reading the paper. It was a print out of a Hello My Name Is sticker, with Ariel*’s flowy writing underneath. “Hello, my name is Jerry.”
“Jerry?” Alexei repeated.
“I know I’m going to sound like an asshole, but I’ll bite,” Walker said.
“Of course,” Yelena whispered.
“Why are you naming a plant?” Walker continued, glaring at Yelena.
“Sorry to say it,” Bob said, “but I’m with Walker.”
Ariel* texted an answer. When I was a kid, somebody told me once that naming your plants helps them grow bigger. Because they know you like them.
“I’ve heard that too,” Ava chimed in, “and to be honest I think it works. I named one of my cacti Anakin and it seems to be growing bigger than the others.”
Bob laughed. “You named a cactus Anakin?”
“Yeah. I liked the irony in the name.”
“But why Jerry?” Walker asked.
Ariel* lifted her head back, thinking. Eventually she shrugged.
“You said you heard the advice as a kid,” Bucky interjected. “Did you watch Tom & Jerry as a child?”
Ariel* shook her head. She stared at the plant, as if it could speak to her. Suddenly, she perked up, quickly typing on her phone. Paris. There was a man in Paris. He was a dancer. Sang too.
“Paris?” Alexei read out to the team. “You’ve been to Paris?”
“Wait,” Bucky interrupted. “Doll you said the man sang a song?”
Ariel* nodded.
Bucky leaned forward. “‘S wonderful, ‘s marvelous you should care for me,” he sang.
“What is this?” Walker began, but Ava shushed him.
Ariel* perked up, her face showing recognition. She scooted closer to Bucky, listening intently.
“ ‘s awful nice. ‘S paradise ‘s what I love to see.”
Ariel reached for her phone. You make my life so glamorous.
“You can’t blame me for being amorous,” Bucky finished the lyric.
Ariel* hopped up, excited.
“She knows the song,” Yelena deduced.
“What song is that anyway,” Bob said, watching as Ariel* celebrated.
“ ‘S Wonderfull,” Bucky said. “It’s a song from the 20s.”
“Wait Bucky,” Ava chimed in. “Does that mean Ariel* is as old as you?”
“I don’t think so, she knew the video games remember?” Bucky said. “She said she knew a man in Paris who sang the song. When I was catching up on what I missed, I decided to watch all the Best Picture Oscar winners. Figured they’d help me keep up with what was popular.”
“So?” Walker asked.
“The winner in 1951 was An American in Paris. Gene Kelly sings that song. And the character he played? Jerry Mulligan.” He turned to acknowledge the plant. “She named the plant after him. That movie means something to her.”
The team watched as Ariel* did a little dance, happy that she could remember something from her past. Bucky watched her with a smile on his face, stealthily taking out his phone and starting a checklist:
Doll’s Memories:
-she likes video games
-had a ZZ Plant
-An American in Paris
It wasn’t much to work with, but they were getting somewhere.
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The Memory Remains: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Chapter 1)
What’s up y’all I’m back with another fic. This one will be slightly darker than my other ones. But for a slight summary: Bucky and the Thunderbolts raid a HYDRA facility and find Reader, whom HYDRA was trying to make into the next Winter Soldier. She has no memories and for reasons unknown she cannot speak either. The team saves her and takes her in but Reader can’t remember her name or what happened. As the team tries to figure out who she is, Reader bonds with Bucky.
Taglist: @sassandscribbles @imnotjustreadingg @bartonsparrow25 @ornateglass I think that’s everyone who replied to my post about what fanfic should come next. If you didnt wanna be tagged or if you read this and are tagged let me know
Masterlist of all my fics here
Title is taken from the Metallica song linked at the end.
It should’ve been a quick mission, in and out, like a five minute trip to the gas station for snacks. But like most plans in Bucky Barnes’ life, shit hit the fan within the span of thirty seconds. Yelena barely survived a shot to the head, the bullet grazing by her temple solely because she moved at the last second. Ava had gotten separated from the group, sent to scout ahead and phasing into a room that happened to have that stupid sound barrier machine that kept her from using her powers. Alexei held the map upside down, leading the team directly into a fire fight. Bob was back on the jet, which should’ve been a good thing, except he confused the comms with whatever channel he used to talk to his friends during online gaming, creating a chaotic soundtrack of cussing at Fortnite, to an already chaotic mission.
But worst of all, Bucky stood in the remnants of a lab, one that looked all too familiar to the memories that formed his nightmares. And of fucking course, John Walker had to be standing with him, miraculously unharmed. Asshole.
“Looks like whatever Val wanted is gone,” Walker assumed, incorrectly.
“No,” Bucky growled, walking past him and reaching under a bloodied exam table. “You’re just looking in the wrong spot.” His fingers skimmed across the cold metal until he found the raise he was looking for. Pressing the button, the wall behind Walker rotated, revealing a shelf with the exact files they were looking for.
Walker snatched the USB drives and put them in his pocket. “Asset acquired, set the bomb,” he said into the comms.
“On it,” Ava answered.
Walker and Bucky booked it, knowing they probably had about six minutes to clear out. They skidded around the corner of the hallway when Bucky heard it. He stopped, tilting his head around, trying to focus on the sound.
“Barnes! What are you doing?” Walker yelled when he realized Bucky wasn’t behind him.
“Shh!” Bucky hissed. He closed his eyes, hoping it would help him find the sound. There it was, clear as day, a muffled cry. “Down the hall and to the left,” he told himself, sprinting past Walker.
“Bucky! That’s the wrong way!”
“Don’t you hear it?”
“Hear wh-“ Walker paused, the sound hitting his super soldier ears too. “Is that crying?”
“There!” Bucky directed, pointing at a reinforced door. He turned, looking to Walker to follow his lead. “On three.” Walker adjusted his position to match Bucky’s. “One. Two. Three.” They threw their shoulders into the door, causing it to fall over with ease. Bucky gasped at what he saw.
The room was not a room, but a cell. Darkness filled the grimy mold covered walls, save for the small light that shone from a solitary lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the room was a worn mattress, flat and stained reddish brown from God knows what, springs poking out in random places. And on top of the mattress, with shackles around the wrists that were bound to chains anchored into the wall was a woman.
She was lean from a mixture of muscles and starvation, an unholy combination Bucky remembered too well. Her clothes were shredded, soaked in dried blood. Blood and dirt stained her skin, and hair, which was in a matted, tangled, short bob cut. Her right leg was twisted grotesquely against the mattress, obviously broken. Yet Bucky’s eyes focused on her face, a chill going through him that he hadn’t felt since the last time he was put onto ice. A black mask, similar to a muzzle, one like Bucky had worn for decades of his stolen life, was clamped to her face.
“Holy shit,” Walker whispered.
“Get the chains!” Bucky commanded, rushing over to the woman and crouching down.
She tried to scoot back, eyes wide in fear. “It’s okay,” Bucky said, reaching out slowly with his flesh hand. “We’re here to help.”
Walker broke the chains that attached her to the wall with his taco shield. The woman relaxed a little at the newfound freedom. “I’m going to take this off,” Bucky said, pointing at the mask. “That okay?”
The woman nodded frantically. Bucky removed it as quickly as possible, tossing it to the side as if it had burned him. He had never wanted to see the damn thing ever again.
Walker checked his watch. “We gotta go,” he said anxiously. He grabbed the woman by the arm and yanked her up to her feet roughly. The woman opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. But it was clear from the way her face screwed up and how she collapsed that she was in pain.
“Dammit Walker!” Bucky smacked Walker’s hand away. “Can’t you see her leg’s broken!”
“Well figure it out, we got 3 minutes!” Walker spun on his heel, running to safety.
“Jackass,” Bucky muttered, swiftly turning back to the woman. “I’m gonna have to carry you, okay?”
The woman nodded, throwing her arms around Bucky’s neck. He placed a hand around her back, his other sliding carefully under her legs as he stood back up. “Hold on tight.”
He sprinted out of the compound, trying not to jostle the woman around too much. Her grip tightened around Bucky, the rims of the cuffs they didn’t get off of her hands digging into his skin. Her nose scrunched at the searing pain going through her body, her eyes went dewy with tears. “I have someone with me,” Bucky yelled into the comms. “Alert medical.”
Bucky saw daylight ahead of him, picking up speed, he got the two of them out into the sunshine. The woman hid her face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, the light too strong for her. Bobbing between the trees in the forest nearby, he dodged branches until he found the open ramp of the jet. “Start it up!” He shouted, leaping onto the closing ramp.
The team sat in the jet, looking worse for wear. Walker and Ava sat at the controls, the jet leaving the ground and hovering in the air. Outside, the facility exploded, the blast making the jet sway. “Punch it!” Bucky commanded bracing himself.
Ava drew a lever forward, sending the jet speeding through the sky. Bucky ran over to the small bed used for quick medical emergencies. “Bob! Pain meds!”
Bob leapt up from his seat, digging around in a cabinet. Bucky laid the woman onto the bed gently. “Anyone have anything I can use for a splint?”
Yelena’s hastily bandaged head lulled to the side. “Ayo left a spear last time she visited.”
Alexei followed her line of sight, dashing to retrieve the spear. He threw it at Bucky, who caught it with his vibranium hand. Breaking the spear across his knee twice, once to split it in half and once more to remove the tip, he lined the halves up against the woman’s broken leg. Next, he grabbed the blanket on the bed, ripping strips and tying them around her leg. The woman’s hands flew to the edge of the bed, fingers digging into it. Her teeth gritted and her back arched, yet no noise came out of her.
Bob found what he was searching for, holding it up to show Bucky. “We only have one,” he exclaimed, eyes flashing over to Yelena.
Yelena said something harshly in Russian when Alexei attempted to adjust her bandage. Switching to English she replied, “Give it to her!”
Bob came over, flicking the vial he held to remove air bubbles. He went to insert the needle into the woman’s skin when she snatched Bob’s wrist in her hand suddenly. Bob yelped in surprise, dropping the syringe. Bucky dove, catching it before it broke against the floor. He straightened up, making eye contact with the woman, her eyes wide in panic. For a second, he no longer saw her, but himself, wide eyed in fear as the enemy shot him up to obey their every whim. He shook the memory from his head, blinking and seeing her again. “It’s morphine,” he said gently. “For the pain. That’s it.” He tilted the needle in his hand so she could examine it.
Her muscles relaxed after a moment. Her eyes flickered back to Bucky, who she gave a curt nod.
“Okay,” Bucky tapped the syringe again, insuring there were no air bubbles. “Let me see your arm.”
The woman rotated an arm, allowing Bucky access to the crook in her elbow. Bucky pressed his fingers alone the curve, finding scar tissue.
“There,” Bob interrupted, pointing at a spot. “That’s a good vein. Trust me.”
Bucky accepted Bob’s knowledge as true, pricking the tip of the needle into the woman’s skin and hitting the plunger. The woman’s chest rose and fell in an exhale, but if she sighed, no one heard it.
“Jet’s on the fastest speed,” Ava announced. “We should be back at the Tower in 45.”
“Thanks Ava,” Bucky said, discarding the needle.
“Who is she?” Yelena asked, holding an ice pack to her head.
“A prisoner,” Bucky answered. “Walker and I found her chained up in a cell.” He pointed at the shackles still around the woman’s wrists. “Let me see your hands. I can get those off.” The woman lifted them up in return.
“It was bad,” Walker said from his seat as Bucky ripped a shackle off with ease. “Had her chained up to a wall on a filthy mattress. Like a caged animal.”
Ava raised her brow quizzically. “And you’re sure she’s safe?”
“Well, Bucky here didn’t give us a chance,” Walker replied sarcastically.
“We couldn’t just leave her there Walker!” Bucky snapped.
A small whine sounded through the jet. The woman sniffled below Bucky, the first sounds she had made this entire time. Bucky gazed down at her, broken and fragile and scared. She began sobbing, the tears she had been holding back finally falling. “Does that look dangerous to you?” Bucky asked.
Ava’s body language softened, pity washing over her. “Poor thing.”
The woman’s fingers found the metal that made up Bucky’s. Bucky glanced down at her hand, noticing the scabs on her knuckles for the first time. He wrapped his hand around hers, rubbing his thumb across her joints. Her sobs quieted down, but she held his hand tightly, her lifeline to comfort.
“Bucky,” Bob said after a moment. “She doesn’t talk.”
The woman pressed her lips together, preparing to say something.
“She’s had big trauma,” Alexei told Bob. On the table, the woman’s face fell back to a neutral look. “Leave her be. She’ll speak soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I thought you said this woman had a broken leg?” The doctor asked.
Bucky and the team exchanged confused looks. “She does,” Bucky replied after a moment.
“We all saw it,” Ava added.
“Well, our x-rays show she is completely fine,” the doctor explained, turning the light on the board on, revealing an intact bone.
“You sure you did the x-ray on her right leg?” Walker queried, his tone even more condescending than usual.
“Watch it Walker,” Valentina, who had joined the team for a debriefing, scolded.
“Yes, it is the correct, right leg,” the doctor replied. “Look at her,” he motioned with his head.
The team, save for Yelena who was getting stitches, turned their heads. The woman stood on the other side of the room, walking perfectly, not a sign of a limp. Her eyes scanned the room, as if she was assessing a threat. Bucky’s heart dropped at the sight, a sickening thought forming in his head.
“If she healed that quickly,” Walker started.
Bucky shut his eyes. Don’t say it.
“Test her blood,” Valentina said coldly.
The doctor nodded, retrieving a tourniquet, gloves, and needle and approaching the woman.
“No! Don’t!” Bucky cried out.
Too late. The woman saw the materials in the doctor’s hand and reacted. Terrified, she shoved the doctor back. Except instead of losing his balance, the doctor flew across the room, as if he was a stunt actor in a movie on a wire. Alexei sprung to action, shielding the doctor with his body as they collided with the wall with a harsh smack. Cracks formed behind Alexei’s back.
“I knew she was dangerous,” Walker said, attacking.
The woman dodged, swiftly spinning towards the tray of supplies the nurse stitching up Yelena had. She snatched up the medical scissors, swishing the blades around in a similar fashion to a knife. Walker paused, amused by the sight. “What the hell is that supposed to d- FUCK!”
The woman had dove, shoving the medical scissors deep into Walker’s thigh.
“Oooh,” Ava clucked, impressed. “I like her.”
Valentina sighed. “Somebody sedate her.”
Bucky moved fast, putting himself between another nurse and the woman. “Just stop for a second!” He bellowed. Everyone in the room stopped, afraid to make another move. Bucky exhaled, annoyed. “Nobody is taking blood from her,” he said, shielding the woman with his arm. “You don’t need to. You saw the evidence.” He tilted his head toward the cracked wall.
Valentina crossed her arms, giving Bucky a stern look. “I think you are forgetting who is in charge here.”
Bucky glowered back at her, daring her to override his decision.
Ava, Bob, and Alexei moved from where they were standing, positioning themselves next to Bucky. “You’re not laying a hand on her,” Ava said.
“Ja,” Alexei puffed out his chest. “She’s under our protection.”
Bob cowered behind Alexei. “Yeah,” he agreed, voice going up a bit.
Valentina scoffed. Yelena, stitches now complete, stood, slightly off balance, and made her way over to the team slowly. “You touch her, and we expose you,” Yelena threatened. “You forget. We own you now.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?” Walker wailed, curled up on the floor and holding his bleeding leg.
“No,” the rest of the Thunderbolts said.
Valentina scrubbed a hand over her face. “Fine, whatever,” she gathered her belongings. “Keep your little pet. But if Little Miss Super Soldier changes her mind, we can use a replacement for Walker. He’s too mouthy.” She left the room in a huff.
“Ha ha,” Walker replied dryly. “Very funny, can someone give me some damn medical attention!”
Bucky felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, the woman greeting him with a small smile. Her lips moved, but no sound came out.
“What?” Bucky asked.
The woman’s lips moved again, but she stilled, taken aback. She brought her hand up to her throat, rubbing it in confusion. Her mouth moved again as she held her throat, but still, no noise.
“I think I know why she didn’t talk,” Bob announced.
“No shit Bob!” Walker yelled out as the nurse removed the scissors.
The woman stared at them, hand still on her neck, uncertain. The doctor approached slowly. “Please, let me see,” he said softly. The woman hesitated, but lowered her hands and gave him a nod. The doctor placed his hands on her neck, feeling her glands and vocal chords. “Hmmm, open your mouth for me.” The woman obeyed, the doctor shining a light in and examining her. “Interesting.”
“What’s wrong with her Doc?” Bucky asked.
“Nothing,” the doctor responded. “Her vocal chords are intact. But for some reason, this woman is mute. There’s no medical reason for her to be.”
“Did the serum HYDRA gave you cause that?” Yelena said to Bucky.
Bucky shook his head. “No. It just made me stronger. Heal faster. Be a better soldier. All the other shit was from brainwashing and torture.”
“Could something have shocked her?” Ava offered. “Like whatever torture device they used numbed her vocal chords?”
“She didn’t even scream earlier,” Bob noted. “She was in pain and her mouth moved but no scream. The only sound she made was…”
A sniffle echoed in the room, the woman was crying again.
“Crying,” Bucky finished Bob’s observation. He took a step towards her, offering her his hand. She took it, intertwining their fingers and giving an appreciative squeeze. “Doc, is she clear?”
“Yes,” the doctor replied.
“Good.” He turned to the woman, giving her a small smile. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky stood outside of his bathroom, talking loudly so he could be heard over the shower. “You look a bit bigger than Yelena,” he narrated as he moved about his suite. “But Ava’s clothes are made for her powers so I’m not sure if you can borrow those. So you’re gonna have to wear some of mine for now. Okay?”
The woman knocked on the glass shower door to acknowledge him.
“I’m going to leave them on the bed,” Bucky continued. “I’ll be in the hallway.”
She knocked again.
Bucky stepped out, leaning against the wall. A few moments later, the door to his room clicked, the woman coming out. His sweatpants were long on her, so she had rolled them up, the henley he had given her swallowed her, the sleeves hanging down limply, so she balled them up in her fists like little sweater paws.
Bucky tried not to laugh, afraid to offend her. “We’ll have to get you better clothes,” he stated.
Her stomach responded for her, grumbling.
“Hungry?” Bucky asked, holding out his arm so he could guide her to the kitchen without her tripping on his pants should the legs come down.
The woman nodded and wrapped her arms around his arm.
“When’s the last time you ate?”
She shrugged.
“You don’t know?”
A nod.
“Okay,” Bucky summoned the elevator. “I know you’re hungry, but we have to start with something light so you don’t get sick. B.R.A.T. diet. Not ideal, but it’s something.”
She squeezed his arm in understanding.
They entered the kitchen, Bucky sitting her down at the table and getting to work. He brought her a banana, some plain microwavable white rice, a package of apple sauce, and some plain toast alone with a huge glass of water. She ate vigorously, like a hungered animal. “Slow down,” he instructed. “You’ll make yourself sick.” She chewed more carefully then.
The rest of the team came in, ready for their dinners. “All cleaned up now?” Yelena said, Alexei leading her to a chair.
“She needs clothes,” Bucky told Yelena.
“On it,” Ava said, scrutinizing the woman and estimating her size. She pulled out her phone, placing a rush order.
Alexei sat down on the other side of the woman. “Do not worry,” he patted her back, “we take good care of you!”
“Don’t touch her like that,” Bucky chided, seeing how the woman recoiled at Alexei’s roughhousing.
“Thanks for stabbing me by the way,” Walker remarked angrily.
“Shut up John.”
“So I know she can’t speak,” Bob said, “but, can she tell us her name? I brought this.” He put a notebook and pen on the table.
The woman pushed off on the table, scooting her chair back in fear. “Bob put that away!” Bucky barked. It seemed silly, but he knew how much damage a notebook could do.
Bob threw the pen across the room and put the notebook under him, sitting on it. “Sorry.”
“Dad,” Yelena pointed at a tablet on the coffee table. Alexei rose to retrieve it for her. She tapped on the screen, opening a notes app. “Can you tell us your name?”
The woman’s fingers danced across the screen as she wrote her reply. I don’t know.
The team read her reply, uneasiness sinking in.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Walker interrogated.
More tapping. I don’t know. I don’t remember.
“How long did HYDRA have you?” It was Ava’s turn.
The woman didn’t type, pointing at her previous answer.
“Do you remember where you are from?” Bob offered. “Maybe we can find your family?”
No. I don’t think I have family. At least, I don’t remember them.
Bucky’s mouth went dry, a sour liquid coming up his throat. He had seen this movie before.
“HYDRA, what did they do to you?” Alexei questioned.
I really don’t know. Just that it hurt.
“Are you hurt now?” Bucky said, concerned. He leaned back, checking the back of her head for a bump, but there was no trauma to be found. And the doctor had looked into that and said she was healthy.
The woman shook her head.
Walker slammed his fist on the table in frustration. “This is getting nowhere!” He growled. “Don’t you remember anything?”
The woman typed out a longer reply. Nothing. Only pain. I only remember this morning. The man called me Zimniy Soldat 2.0. So maybe that’s my name? It doesn’t sound like one. All I know is I was crying and Bucky showed up.
“Wait, how’d you know Bucky’s name?” Walker was suspicious.
The woman pointed at Bob. You’re not as good of a soldier as you say Walker. The shy one said it on the plane.
The rest of the team, save for Walker and Bucky, laughed at her assessment of Bob. “Hi, I’m Bob,” Bob introduced himself, offering his hand for the woman to shake. The rest of the team introduced themselves, but Bucky didn’t pay attention, his eyes focused on the words on the screen. Zimniy Soldat. His old name. The one he fought so hard to shed for so long. And then the number. 2.0. Whoever this woman was, HYDRA had stolen her from her life and tried to mold her into another him. She didn’t speak, but she seemed sweet and innocent. He had only known her for a few hours and yet, he would burn the world down for her. Find every HYDRA agent and tear through them if she texted him to.
“Okay,” Yelena said. “Now you know our names, but we need a name for you. Are you really sure you don’t remember your name?”
The woman nodded.
“Do you have any preferences?”
She shook her head.
The team pondered, being silent for once.
Bob snapped his fingers. “I got it! Ariel!”
“Ariel?” Bucky replied.
“Yeah! You know like The Little Mermaid!”
“Huh?”
“Oh come on Bucky,” Ava rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows The Little Mermaid.”
The woman began texting again. Never heard of it.
“Neither have I” Bucky concurred.
Bob sighed. “Ariel. She’s a mermaid who wants to be human and she falls in love with the prince. So she makes a deal with the sea witch who can make her human but at the cost of her voice. And if Ariel can get the prince to kiss her in three days she gets to stay human and have her voice back. Get it?”
Bucky’s brow arched. “So you want to call her Ariel because she can’t talk like the mermaid?”
“Now you get it!”
Bucky glanced at the woman, whose eyes were on him. “What do you say? Can we call you Ariel?”
She wrote on the tablet. Sure. Also can I have some more rice? I’m still hungry.
Bucky stood up, taking her empty bowl. “Yes you can, Ariel.”
And as promised, a link to the song that I stole the title from that may or may not be important later
gummygunk
dededos
snowghoul
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
2087
stormborns
