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"—HiMERU also feels restless in his school uniform, you know."
Season: Winter
Location: Lounge in TV Station
Rinne: Hiya~ I got to the dressing room earlier than expected, huuh.
I've turned into a respectable member of society ♪
Niki: What're you talking about, Rinne-kun. A respectable member of society doesn't typically stroll into the dressing room right at the last minute.
Uh, wait? Is Kohaku-chan the only one here?
Rinne: Ain't it weird that Merumeru's runnin' late? Did he get a stomachache or somethin'?
Kohaku: Haah. You both just go at yer own pace as always. Didn't y'all see HiMERU-han's message?
HiMERU-han mentioned there were some procedures at Shuuetsu Academy he couldn't miss, so he'll be late.
Rinne: Academy? Oh, yeah, Merumeru's still a student.
Any way you look at it, he doesn't look like a student at all, so I totally forgot.
Niki: I completely forgot about it too. So HiMERU-kun's an earnest student, huh~
But, you know, it's kinda mysterious. I feel like I've never seen HiMERU-kun in his school uniform.
Even though we've already spent a bunch of time together?
Kohaku: Yeah, that's right. When Crazy:B got thrown into the same room, he and I both took a temporary absence from school.
He returned to school after movin' into the Seisoukan dorms, so we haven't had a straightforward chance to see it, y'know?
Rinne: Gotcha. Well, I guess Merumeru ain't tryna hide it either.
In that case, wouldn't it be interesting to see Merumeru in his uniform at least once?
HiMERU: —What about HiMERU's uniform?
Rinne: Oh, speak of the devil ♪ Hey, Merumeru. You're wearing your uniform this... time...
HiMERU: Apologies for the delay in getting here. HiMERU will get ready quickly.
Rinne & Kohaku: .........
HiMERU: Amagi, Oukawa, what's the matter? You look quite dumbfounded.
Rinne: Gyahahahahaha! Hey, hey, ain't that a bit too much, Merumeru?!
HiMERU: What is it with you laughing all of a sudden, Amagi?
Niki: Woah~ It's my first time seeing HiMERU-kun in his school uniform.
Yup, yup, I see. So it feels like that~ It's kinda refreshing.
HiMERU: —Right. Now that Shiina has said that, HiMERU gets the gist of it.
However, he finds it upsetting to be laughed at to this extent.
Kohaku: No, sorry, HiMERU-han... It ain't like I'm burstin' out laughin' like Rinne-han, but....
Seein' HiMERU-han in an unfamiliar outfit, I was at a loss for words to describe this strange feelin'...
Rinne: No matter how I look at it, you look like a cosplayer! For real, my stomach hurts! Gyahahahaha!
HiMERU: (...Is it really enough to warrant saying that?)
Rinne: Hey, hey, don't make that face, Merumeru.
I've never seen ya look like a proper highschooler before, so I just burst out laughing.
Kohaku: My bad, HiMERU-han. I'm in the same boat as Rinne-han.
There's a saying of "the clothes make the man", but in yer case, it's the opposite.
The uniform can't compete with yer mature atmosphere.
HiMERU: —Amagi, Oukawa, there's no need to force yourselves to keep talking.
It seems like you are desperately trying to patch it up, but the conclusion remains the same.
From now on, no matter how much of a hurry he's in, HiMERU will make sure not to come to work still in uniform.
Rinne: Don't get so pouty, Merumeru. It was my bad.
See, I never really went to school properly.
So it's prolly the norm for highschoolers like Merumeru to exist, yeah?
Niki: Well, besides HiMERU-kun, none of us are really attending school properly. Even I only graduated middle school.
Kohaku: I'm also just startin' to get back into school.
If you think 'bout it that way, the only one here who's leadin' a decent student life's HiMERU-han.
I wonder what kinda highschool life yer leadin'. I'm curious now...
HiMERU: —HiMERU can confidently say it hasn't been the youth that Oukawa is expecting.
Rinne: But, actually, you're havin' an exquisite time at school, ain'tcha?
Accordin' to our deputy director, Shuuetsu's a place with a well-established employee benefits system.
HiMERU: HiMERU hardly makes use of it. Naturally, HiMERU prioritizes idol activities.
—Ah, but some of the services available at Shuuetsu may indeed be described as "exquisite".
Kohaku: Oh~ If HiMERU-han says so, then they must be real good.
What the heck are they? I wanna know for reference.
HiMERU: Although it may have sounded grandiose, it's not such a big deal.
It is only a ryoutei—that is to say, a high class traditional restaurant. You can enjoy delicious dishes with well-balanced nutrition.
Niki: Please wait a second!
A ryoutei?! There's a place like that at Shuuetsu Academy?!
HiMERU: Yes, it seems that it is managed by the same affiliate company as CosPro.
A dedicated chef and nutritionist are assigned to each idol to provide the optimal menus.
It is reasonably inexpensive for students, so it has been helpful for HiMERU to utilize it several times when he eats meals.
Niki: ...I see. There's such a heavenly place in Shuuetsu, is there.
I've decided. I'm gonna transfer to Shuuetsu Academy! And I'll eat a bunch of food at the ryoutei!
Kohaku: That's a lousy motive, Niki-han...
Rinne: To begin with, Niki's a middle school graduate. You gotta start from the beginning, not as a transfer!
You'll be a first year in highschool and it'll just be too tough, so forget it, forget it.
You'd be better off securing your future by becoming my housewife and getting a permanent job at my place.
Niki: I hate that, I don't wanna be taken away by Rinne-kun for my whole life!
Please, HiMERU-kun! I don't like being pushy, but I wanna go to Shuuetsu's ryoutei too!
HiMERU: —HiMERU can't do anything about it single-handedly.
However, Shuuetsu Academy is a school for outstanding idols.
If Shiina can demonstrate exceptional talent as an idol, perhaps...
Niki: Are you for realsies?! You must be!
HiMERU: —Provided that you can demonstrate your ability. In that sense, this upcoming recording may be just the right chance for you.
Niki: Alriiight! Once it's decided like that, I'll get to work right away!
Rinne-kun and Kohaku-chan, we're going all out today!
The taste of ryoutei is waiting for me!
Kohaku: Niki-han really is a guy who only cares 'bout his stomach...
Rinne: ...Nice job baiting Niki, Merumeru.
But I won't take the blame for whatever happens later, aight?
HiMERU: —HiMERU understands that. That is why he didn't confirm anything either.
In the worst case scenario, he will take out a meal from the ryoutei and bring it back to the dormitory. It's humiliating, so he'd rather not, if possible.
Now, let's put an end to the chitchat. There's not much time left for the recording, so let's get ready quickly.
—HiMERU also feels restless in his school uniform, you know.
Note: About the housewife line... Yeah I don't know man. What it says on the tin. The page just talks about how women getting married used to be referred to as a permanent job, which is what Rinne says Niki should get with him.
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Characters: Rinne, HiMERU, Kohaku & Niki
Location: Los Angeles Townscape
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< One hour later. >
Kohaku: I can’t find it anywhere.
How’s your side, HiMERU-han?
HiMERU: Nothing on my side as well, unfortunately. There aren’t many people who have seen the car.
But HiMERU was able to gain some useful information. The cars who are leaving this town are most likely heading for the town in the north.
Niki: The town in the north, huh? It looks like there’s only roads between each town here, so if our car isn’t here, then that’s probably where it went.
Can’t the tablet give us some clues~? I wish it could tell us where to go next at least.
Rinne: Judging by how things have been up until now, I don’t think they’re kind enough to tell us.
…Ugh. Just as I thought, there’s nothin’.
Alright, now that it’s come to this, it’s time for that.
Niki: Time for what…?
Rinne: There’s only one thing we gotta do if we don’t have anymore lingering attachments to this place, right?
We’re gonna hitchhike ‘til we get to the next town!
Niki: H–Hitchhike!?
Rinne: What? Something wrong with that?
Niki: No, I did it a few times on my previous trips, so I’m not against it, but…
Do you think someone’s gonna be willing to take four strangers to the next town? Who’s gonna have the space?
Rinne: Oi, oi, oi. You chickening out, Niki?
Look, ya can’t call yourself an idol if you can’t show off your charms no matter where you are. All idols have it in them to catch the eye of a driver they don’t know, right?
Niki: Y–You’re just arguing for argument’s sake!
So that’s how you’re trying to make me hitchhike!? I know what you’re trying to do!
Kohaku: But, Niki-han, now that push has come to shove, the only thing we can do is to get going ourselves.
We could walk to the next town, but you don’t want to use up your calories for no good reason, right?
HiMERU: Time is running out as we speak.
Since we can’t find our car, asking a kind person to take us to the next town would be the only option left.
Niki: Hmm~ I know I’m in no position to complain, but everything sounds fishy when it’s Rinne-kun bringing it up.
And how can you two make up your mind so easily? You guys are adapting way too quickly…!
Rinne: So, you in or you ain’t?
Niki: Ugh… alright. This is all for a delicious meal!
Niki: Heheh ☆
…Wait, why are you making me do a sexy pose!?
Rinne: Gyahaha! I didn’t think you’d do all that stuff I told you to do!
But it looks like it was super effective. The cars are slowing down to take a look ♪
Niki: Ugh. This isn’t something I’d normally do. HiMERU-kun should be the one doing this since he’s in charge of this stuff in our unit!
HiMERU: Excuse me?
Niki: Please, you’re the sexy master!
HiMERU: That title is disgraceful, so please don’t call me that. Amagi has been riling you up too much in the first place, Shiina.
We should be able to hitchhike normally without doing those racy poses.
People should understand what we’re doing if we give them a big wave. See? Like this…♪
Niki: Woah, a car stopped right away! And it’s a truck that has lots of room…!
What perfect timing. It’s a godsend~!
HiMERU: See? It’s simple if you can communicate with them properly using body language, right?
As long as you understand how it works, you won’t have to dance in Amagi’s palm any longer, Shiin–
Niki: I don’t really understand but you’re amazing, HiMERU-kun. No wonder you’re the sexy one in our unit!
HiMERU: …………
Kohaku: Wow. HiMERU-han has such a hateful look on his face.
Rinne: Well, the car stopped for us, so let’s put that aside. Great job, Merumeru!
There’s no time to be down in the dumps – get in or we’ll leave ya behind!
HiMERU: Good grief. Just what on earth do you think HiMERU is?
…This isn’t the time to be saying that. Complaining can be done later – let’s get a move-on.
HiMERU doesn't know how we’re going to complete the “???” mission, but we should continue onwards.
Kohaku: Yeah. They opened the container at the back for us, so let’s take a break in there until we reach the next town.
In travelling, a companion; in life, sympathy, after all. We should be thankful.
Ko ko ko. I think I’ve gotten completely used to runnin’ into trouble overseas ♪
Rinne makes an error with the idiom; the original idiom is about filial piety (a virtue of exhibiting love and respect for one's parents, elders, and ancestors) and not brotherhood.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< One day at the beginning of March. Up in the air. >
Rinne: Hey, Niki. There’s something I wanna tell ya since it’s gonna be the end.
We might seriously be in danger.
Niki: Huh? What’s wrong? Why’re you saying that all of a sudden?
…You said “the end”, but this is our ride there. Don’t you mean “the beginning”?
Rinne: No, no. What I’m tryin’ to say is that this situation is weird.
Come on, think about it. They blindfolded us and then shoved us into a bus, a plane and then a helicopter.
This doesn’t sound like a simple overseas shoot at all.
Maybe we unknowingly offended our CosPro boss, so we’re getting buried out in the middle of nowhere.
Geez, if I knew this was gonna happen, I should’ve said goodbye to my cute lil’ brother. You know what they say: You realise it’s too late by the time you wanna be a good older brother[⁎]!
Niki: How can the entertainment industry be so heartless…? They’re way too cruel! Does this mean we’re not needed anymore!?
I wish they prepared a final meal for us at least. I don’t wanna die on an empty stomach~!
Kohaku: You two are overreactin’. We’re just headin’ to our next shoot.
We simply received an offer to appear in a variety show that’s similar to “The Minotaur’s Labyrinth”, since it seems it was unexpectedly popular, and people enjoyed seein’ us do ridiculous things.
I bet they’re schemin’ because they wanna make us do somethin’ similar…
Rinne: Woah~ Looks like we’ve got a little bee who can’t read the room!
The super entertaining Rinne-kun was just trying to put on a good show~ I did all that to trick Niki and now my hard work’s gone down the drain.
Niki: What? All that pessimistic stuff you said earlier was a lie!?
I can’t believe you tricked me! If you’re gonna make fun of people like that, then you’re just gonna die a worthless death, you hear!
HiMERU: Amagi, Shiina, Oukawa. Can you three be quiet for a moment?
I’d like to rest while I can. If this is going to be a repeat of “The Minotaur’s Labyrinth”, then it’s surely going to be another stamina test.
We should preserve our energy as much as we can while we’re on the move. That’s the secret to working successfully.
Kohaku: HiMERU-han, you’re adaptin’ to the situation right away.
HiMERU: But, of course. HiMERU would like to resolve everything in a smart and resourceful manner.
Had I not been kidnapped by Amagi, I would have loved to be away, doing my own solo work.
Rinne: Things don’t work out like that in the real world, ya know ♪ We’re in the same unit – and that means we’ll ride and die together ♪
Niki: You really bring bad luck wherever you go, Rinne-kun.
Anyway, I’m glad we’re not gonna die.
Come to think of it, they checked our passports when we got on the plane here. I’ll be fine as long as I get to eat a bunch of local specialties~♪
Kohaku: All you have on your mind is food, huh, Niki-han.
I’d like to rest once we land, but…
Hmm?
Niki: What’s wrong, Kohaku-chan? Did you spot a delicious-looking animal or something?
Kohaku: No. Look over there.
There’s some sort of big banner on the ground.
Niki: “COME HERE”...? What does that mean?
HiMERU: Hmm. Apparently, the pilot says that it's supposed to be “used as a landing pad”.
Rinne: “Used as a landing pad”...? Sounds like something for parachuting.
So that means the real stuff is coming up, right? Alright, we’ve done a lotta different stuff, but parachuting will be a first!
I accept the challenge, so follow me, you guys ♪
Niki: Ah, wait a minute, Rinne-kun! Don’t start putting the parachuting equipment on!
I’m not mentally ready to jump off just yet!
Rinne: Details come later!
Come on, the instructor’s tellin’ us to hurry up too!
Niki: What? Those people weren’t here to film us, but they’re here to help us with the parachute!?
Rinne: I can flyyyy…☆
Niki: Rinne-kun! He just jumped off without listening to what I had to say!
His arrogance knows no bounds. Should we talk to the pilot and ask them to drop us off somewhere closer?
Kohaku: Ko ko ko. This is my first time parachuting as well ♪
It’ll be a valuable experience. If we can’t say no, then all that’s left is to give it a go and jump ♪
Niki: Not you too, Kohaku-chan!?
HiMERU: Stop looking so surprised, Shiina. You should put on your parachuting equipment.
It seems we don’t have a choice yet again. I think it would be wise to do what the show wants us to do instead of prolonging the conversation.
Niki: What? You’re gonna jump off too, HiMERU-kun?
I don’t wanna use my calories to do something like parachuting… Oh, geez. I guess I don’t have a choice, huh~
Okay. I just have to do it, don’t I!?
In exchange, they better let me have a taste of the delicious local specialties here!
"...Hey, Kaname. What would you do in this situation?"
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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]
Season: Spring
Location: Ward
A few hours later. In a hospital room.
Kohaku: Ngh... Nngh?
Niki: Ah, Kohaku-chan, you're awake! What a relief~!
When HiMERU-kun called saying you collapsed, even I stopped eating for a sec, y'know?
Kohaku: ...Haha, now that's a big deal. No matter what kinda prank you get caught up in, the one universal constant is that Niki-han won't stop eatin'.
Maybe the sky's fixin' to start fallin' tomorrow?
Niki: Nahaha! Even I'd focus on dodging if that happened.
Rinne: If you're cracking jokes, looks like you're fine for now. Well, my guess is it was just stress-induced hyperventilation.
Still, passing out 'cause of stress? You're still just a brat after all, huuuh. Gyahaha!
Kohaku: Ughhh... well, I can't even argue, seein' as I did collapse.
Managin' your health's part of an idol's job, too. If I couldn't even do that, callin' me a brat's fair enough.
With this whole mess, I've caused trouble for not just HiMERU-han, but the agency, too...
Rinne: Nah, no need to worry 'bout that. The fact you passed out ain't public knowledge yet.
Kohaku: ...It ain't?
Rinne: It's thanks to Merumeru's smart move. He contacted the agency while calling the ambulance.
The deputy director made sure you were brought here on the down-low. Plus, this hospital's connected to CosPro, so no worries about the press finding out.
Kohaku: That so? Well, that's a relief, at least.
Right now, folks are already way too touchy 'bout me as it is. If word got out I collapsed, the agency'd be flooded with complaints all over again.
I oughta thank HiMERU-han for his quick thinkin'.
...Speakin' of which, where is he, anyhow?
Niki: Huh? Now that you mention it... He's gone all of a sudden?
He was with us when he led us to your room, but...
Kohaku: ...That dumbass. Ain't no reason for him to be so considerate of me.
Right before I passed out, we got into a bit of a tiff.
I ended up sayin' some nasty stuff, like how just seein' his face made it hard to breathe...
Rinne: Whoa, Kohaku-chan, that's harsh~ No wonder Merumeru felt awkward hanging around your room.
Looks like the town's favorite lovey-dovey couple finally broke up, huh? Bet Merumeru's off on some emotional soul-searching trip to fix his broken lil heart. Gyahaha ♪
Kohaku: Oh, shut your trap! Takin' advantage of this situation to mess with me... Keep it up, and I'll see to it you never get the chance to run that mouth again!
Rinne: Ooh, scary, scary. Well, I'll get the hell outta here then.
Niki, why don't you peel Kohaku-chan an apple or somethin'. He looks alright, but you did bring some get-well gifts, right?
Niki: Leave it to me! Kohaku-chan, what do you like? I've got apples, bananas, and even a melon~
Kohaku: Ah, thanks. I'll take an apple, then.
Rinne: Alright, I'm heading out. Might as well hit the pachinko parlor...
Or maybe I'll go poke fun at Merumeru's shattered heart while I'm at it.
(...Come to think of it, isn't this also the hospital where he's staying?)
(The real HiMERU... Kaname Tojo.)
HiMERU: —Looks like you've been busy again, collecting things while "I" was absent.
There's even more PBB merchandise than before. You can hardly walk yet, so are you asking the nurses to gather them for you?
...... (Holds Kaname's hand.)
HiMERU: (Kaname is recovering. Slowly, but surely.)
(He's still mostly bedridden, though the doctor says he's managing to stay awake for longer stretches than before.)
(Even so, he still cries out incoherently... The loathsome wounds carved into his heart continue to bleed.)
(—But, even for Kaname, there are moments when he can forget that pain. It's only when he's watching over "HiMERU's activities" that he finds peace.)
(Being surrounded by all this HiMERU merchandise must be part of what keeps him stable.)
(And yet...)
HiMERU: ...Hey, Kaname. What would you do in this situation?
(Is PBB what you want HiMERU to be...? What you want to be?)
(Can "I" really be the one to protect where you belong?)
(Is the place where "I" currently stand suitable for you to return to?)
(Kaname... What kind of idol did you want to be?)
HiMERU: ......
HiMERU: ...I'll come see you again. Rest well, Kaname, and keep watching over your Onii-chan.
"I" swear... I'll protect your dream, your place as HiMERU, no matter what.
<One day in September, in a corner of the Hanging Gardens>
Leo: ♪ ~ ♪ ~ … …
(Ngggh~, no, no! This doesn’t sound right! This melody is too boring!
Wahhhhh! My eyes! My hands! My brain! Or any part of my body will do, quick, help me think of something!
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Madara: GOOD AFTERNOOOON! I’M MIKEJIMA MADARA, ALWAYS ON THE GO AS THE SOLO UNIT, MAM ☆ (2) I would absolutely love it if you would affectionately call me “Mama”!
MaM… … in other words, me, yours truly—has been travelling aaall over the country attending festivals, and taking on the role of cranking up the party mood to the MAX! I’m always on the lookout for fun things to do!
I love having a great time, and if you decide to make me your oshi, I’ll guarantee you’ll have a blast too! I promise you’ll never have a dull moment when I’m around!
Ahhh, I reeeally wish we could chat face-to-face instead of through this video call. If you're interested, I'd be totally delighted if you could come attend one of my Lives!
Epilogue
Translator’s Notes:
“推し” or oshi is how one refers to your favourite/your bias in an idol Unit.
Madara started his JP introduction like this 『ソロユニット』、『MaM』で活動中の三毛縞斑だ☆ or, 1) Solo Unit, 2) MaM (Unit name), then Mikejima Madara (his own name). I couldn’t express how he introduced himself as “Solo Unit/Unit name” before “own name” without the English sounding broken, but I just wanted you to know, lol.
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