Yuri Is Valid

ok, this AU was the hardest to develop since the ideas are half formed and it raises a lot of questions for the verse that the answers are too complicated for me to answer. but i can escape that by NOT writing a fic (which i tried to do and failed horribly).

in my heart of hearts this verse is very hilarious and sexy. so have some ramblings about it instead:

angels and demons have 4 letter names: vita, beka, yura, yuri, mila, jaak, chit, etc… akov is god and ilia is the devil (< i guess, idk, whatever, not important). i think yuri (katsuki) is a demon (gluttony, lust), but that is also not entirely important.

yura and beka meet each other on the shoulders of a nervous and spineless human. they have been sent (punished?) (exiled?) to the mortal realm to act as the human's conscience. yura dwells on the right shoulder and beka on the left.

the human's spinelessness drives yura into rage. he screams into the human's ear trying to influence him to just go punching assholes and jerks that the human lets walk all over him. yura is literally the embodiment of the meme "aren't you tired of being nice a loser? don't you just wanna go apeshit?" when the human only cowers in response yura punches and kicks his neck, which only makes the human scratch his neck (a nervous tic), this makes yura all the more enraged.

beka on the other hand shoulder (haha) whispers and murmurs things into the human's ear that make him more spineless like: it's scary out there, we should stay in, oh, this guy is big we should let him cut in line ahead of us, its okay to get interrupted it wasn't important anyway… etc

idk something to that effect.

they are both so useless to the human being that the human lives out a pathetic life. they spend more time having sexy makeouts on the human's back than doing anything of use.

on yura's malevolence; he has a strong sense of justice and what's right but his problem is his means of achieving them, they are unholy and extremely problematic lmao. beka's benevolence is unbecoming of a demon. he still has the values of what make him demonic but his means are calm and without calamity. chaotic good vs lawful evil typa shit idk

vita is yura's overseer and whenever he has a message to send to yura, a golden halo appears in the air and a soft holy choir sings as clouds part to reveal vita who is glowing all dream-like. (this is super hilarious in my head, the choir is like a soundtrack and can abruptly stop (like a record scratch) if some incredulous shit gets to vita or whatever. it's very over the top and obnoxious)

i imagine the choir is like the first and last thing you hear when interacting with vita. like you'd be chilling on a cloud minding your own business and in the distance the dulcet tones of the choir signals the arrival of vita, and then fades away with him when he leaves lmfao. vita is also especially glowy for an angel, he glows more than most, giving him a very ethereal and dreamlike quality (the extra power he allots to that is worth it and second nature to him at this point)

jaak is beka's overseer and he makes it a point to regularly interrupt the sexy makeouts. when jaak calls, a dark red almost black flame flickers to life and forms a ring of smoke, as he appears in it he always has cluster of succubi hanging off of him who all look exactly alike (isabella) who softly moan, murmur and whisper "king jj" at him in the background

(kind of like in horror media when you hear whispers in the background, but it's constant and less scary sounding and more blush inducing. the anti vita choir lmao)