YUNG SQUISH BABY

OH MY GODS ITS A BABY

my pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

i literally cant stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like i dont feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it but i do feel like doing a heist

call the cops bitch ill have sex with them

This feels like a the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a heated phone call

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” my mom said as my 3rd grade bully repeated everything I said in a caveman voice.

“ImItaTion iS thE siNceREsT foRm OF FlATterY” mY mOm saId AS mY 3Rd gRadE buLlY rePeAteD eveRytHinG i sAid iN a CavEmaN vOiCe.

there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you

A real bad bitch respects minimum wage workers

Y’all drink water? Ain’t that the same stuff in my toilet? LMAOOOOOO

rene magritte this does not explain ANYTHING

i hate applying for jobs because the employers are always like: do you enjoy working in a stressful environment???? do you strive for unobtainable standards of perfection???? are you good at dealing with people that make you feel extremely uncomfortable??? do you mind losing real hours of your life in order to make minimum wage?? are you a fan of capitalism??? do you love selling your soul just so you can afford to live???