夢の中で

and i have nothing more to say.

we woke up this day and skipped out on our responsibilities.

i floated in the sunlight like salt-brine, craves falling away like cooked eggshells.

i wrote so many poems about you raw flesh into sentences you don’t deserve

I say I will do this Turnone direction, then the other. I am walking on parenthesis, a paradox On heels. I’ve never felt more alone Cradled my head in the arms of a room who never speaks Living seems surreal – unnecessary.

It feels: like creasing the edges of reality (the earth, flat as a disk; I am spinning out control; ruin), a small suffering creature on a microscopic planet, filling the bathtub with my thoughts; soak in. (this is who i am now) How To Continue : once you’ve lost all hope. Once you’ve reached where the sidewalk ends and it’s just a black gaping mouth; swallowing air. Like you do, when your nerves are on fire.

i’m trying to understand this experience kneading into its creases, like bread tracing its intricacies

as if in a gallery

knowing.That time is the only real Remedy.

palm drumbeat - (Ear leans heavy) listening to your pulse / press on the skin / offering a vibration to reverb through / the canal of your head.

teabag magic ~ (glowing warmth) a fingertip, cold / warms up to a steaming mug - pulls the tag, the string; feasts on the transformation

you are not     | who you said you were.

My organs echo     | hung up, on the other side of the line..

Exploring & Unfolding You bloomed before me ,- unexpectedly.

I sacrificed my Days for    | something better You found Happiness    | somewhere else;

It's harder to forget your gaze

than it is to forget your face.

---I: have to live with this thing in my gut. a formality. i told you, an acrobat- i'm performing convulsions within myself.

__you: are on my mind like a leech. living your life; Hurting, for the wrong reasons. kissing my teeth while i try to decipher how i came under you.

...SHE: loves you. Actually. You wouldn't know it, but some can feel - Pain. Loss. Love. Joy. Not the sparse wave of pleasure to stir a dead body. You don't want to understand. Yet.

with your fingers you pick and pry me open   

before i’m ready to speak.

my shell is off and i’ve barely stuttered “yes”

My tongue grazes the moon As you get uncomfortabale with the words i’m about to spill when the Truth is offered to you    _on a spoon.

Life is like this you understand - i persist. in procession.  i will fight,  for perfection.

Leave your lover in Marrakech    _come climb this mountain find refuge in my palms, curled open

Eat the fruit and the nut

of tenderness.

And be no more  In the land of constraints_

This is my word to you  take oath, seed and oat - the grains of innumerable days.