YOU WERE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR THIS -> masterlist

WOAH, WHY AM I BLOCKED?

-> posted dumb shit in the xreader tags

-> minor / ageless blog

-> “female and fem dni” cause I can barely scroll my xreaders without laughing so hard I tear up at seeing unironic women dni in 2024

-> posted something that ruined my day about one of my yumeships and this is the only thing i will apologise for i’m sorry i’m crazy and i need my emotional support husband

-> terrible and evil aura

HELLO

i am a professional sillygirl and i write sometimes! i am 21! . this is myyyy thirst blog . i have another blog called @iidylllic …. I tried to publish whole fics there and i might still use it but i feel i also need a space to be fully Authentic……

I’m an adult with a full time j*b so if things are slow that’s why. employment.

blog remade with the explicit purpose of having this as a primary blog so i can ask and follow without fear!!!

mostly men but some women im bi with a male preference anddd being bullied by hot women is very Hot.

No minors even aged up. No scat no emeto. And if you see someone irl exhibit the dangerous behaviours you see me write about please make sure to talk to friends, family, and police if possible! I do not condone this behaviour and wish death to rapists and predators, sincerely!

don’t take my shit! don’t translate it! don’t re upload it to other platforms! save it to your computer harddrive to open during the inevitable solar flare that fucks over the entire internet. like an Adult.

Yes i yumeship. I am a nonsharing yumejoshi that tries VERY hard not to care about it. Hence why i block people that annoy me enough about it. But otherwise i promise i’m chill. I would be a very sad yumejoshi without people that also cared deeply about my husband! Just don’t be annoying about it -__- tbh I guess well I don’t keep up with the selfship community but it’s probably more like selective sharing cause if you’re not posting shit like “HE ONLY LOVES ME” we’re chill

WHO IS YOUR HUSBAND? I’m a whore. It changes. And there is a venn diagram of characters i really want to fuck and characters i really want to marry and there is SOME overlap but it’s not all overlap. You can always count on me to yume neuvillette though. I like him a lot.

If you start trying to manipulate Richard he just gets physically violent with you like no time fo dat y/n 😂

This is unfortunately why I believe he wouldn’t be with someone physically stronger than him or he would purposefully hinder his beloved’s health. It’s very important that he has the ability to physically overpower you handy so I genuinely think there’s a way out of his grasp by just like getting buff (do not eat ANYTHING he feeds you) and emphasising your physical strength against him

Maybe then you’ll be able to attract someone with less male fragility (Hernando)

Or you could skip training and just depend on someone else for physical protection (Hernando)

Or even just find someone down to train you (Hernando)

But physical violence is always up Richard’s sleeve as a means of control. He’s willing to put in the effort to stop you from being healthy but if you’re seriously determined to gain muscle then he’s majorly turned off by that display of defiance. If you’re not doing his laundry and cooking his meals you should, at the very least, be stricken with illness and unable to do anything without his help. He likes both. Both are bonding experiences to Richard. Your subservience and your dependence.

And I immediately started thinking of how deranged he gets with cleaning you. Water is supposed to wash away all sins. He feels like he needs to bathe you the second someone even looks at you in a way he dislikes. It manifests in small ways at first, when he’s pining, visiting perfume shops and imagining what he’d like best on you. Small gifts of items like hand lotion and cuticle oil, and his concealed elation when he smells them on you. As things move on, it gets a little more intense.

The clothes he picks out for you, once perceived as a symbol of his affection, now read as a mark of his ownership. It’s all soft muslins and spotless cottons, light, airy, silk linings gliding against your skin like a gentle caress. So perfect, so nicely pressed, and so frequently changed in and out of. Dragons like him have heightened senses. He doesn’t like the way someone’s perfume trail clings to you, or how the smoke of a wood-burning stove has embedded itself into the fibres of your dress. You’ve always been understanding of his sensitivity to scents, but sometimes it’s just so… excessive. Why does it only apply to you? How can you possibly be reeking of someone else when all that businesswoman did was place a hand on your arm? She wasn’t even wearing perfume- she was only in the room for ten minutes- she-

Don’t you want to bathe with him? He’s really gentle. Had you ever known love before his hands ran over every part of you, carefully trailing the suds across your skin? Thin fingers massage your back and you remember how your friend wrapped an arm around you earlier. It’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to connect, but your brain offers it anyway. Do you shave? Will you let him shave you? He has a surgeon’s precision with everything… holding the razor, or a makeup brush, or a comb. He’ll do everything for you. He’ll work the conditioner into your hair- it’s his nose that’s going to be buried in it sooner or later. Will you do it for him? He doesn’t like you going to the effort, but… it’s nice. It’s the same conditioner too. You’ll even smell alike now.

There is no practice Neuvillette has that is more religious than insisting you bathe after every sexual activity. At first, you think it’s very kind of him even if occasionally unnecessary and able to wait, but the less that these activities are “showing love” and more “perverse defilement”, maybe you’re glad he seems to snap out of things within a few minutes and take you to the bathroom. You’ll ask him not to bathe you this time. You’ll insist you can do it yourself (because maybe it’s just his fingers already on you but you can feel your skin crawl) but he’s not content with just watching. If he committed the sins, he can cleanse you of them.

The modesty he has you display in public betrays the activities he gets up to in private. A high collar and covered wrists feels almost comical. You used to think Neuvillette was just making you match him, which… well, is cute and inoffensive - but you’ve come to realise that the more you’re covered, the more barriers there are between your skin and everything around you. He complains about his own clothes, and therefore feels sympathy for yours, but please, just hold on, we’ll be home soon and you can take everything off. There is no deadly disease plaguing Fontaine, but Neuvillette’s disdain seems to create that illusion for you. It’s all too easy to convince himself that you have a delicate constitution after you catch just one cold, and he clings to that shred of reason to excuse his behaviour.

SRE Richard as your frankly horrible boyfriend that takes you out on cute little cafe dates and lets you ride on the back of his motorbike as he rides that efame from esports.

He works really hard because he knows it won’t last forever. Sometimes you’re not even sure how he has time for you and you’re aware of it every time you spend time together because he Always Brings It Up. Yes Richard we are aware you still have to study… Yes Richard we are aware Siren needs you to change the game when it comes to picking spawn locations… We know… Hope you’re not being too burdened by watching your girlfriend eat a parfait in front of you…

He holds you very close in public like he’s afraid of losing you in the crowd. His fans think it’s cute! You think the grip on your wrist is getting a little painful, and it’s going to bruise. You’ve only met his teammates a few, brief times (because god forbid any of them rizz you up, this is a legitimate fear he has) and your own friends are wondering how it’s possible that Richard can be so simultaneously busy and also frequently have his plans with you overlap with theirs.