Lena

💔

Have you ever just needed someone to hold you and not let go for awhile and just tell you that everything was gonna be okay and that you mattered? I really wish I had that right now. I'm so sad. It hurts so bad. I feel so alone and nobody cares. Nobody cares.

I wish you really loved me. I wish you cared enough to celebrate holidays with me like I mattered to you. Maybe one day.

It really sucks to be the only one trying. Still caring the same way you did in the beginning because my love for you never stopped. I wish so badly it were mutual. Idk what I can do to get your attention back. Maybe nothing. Idk.

Acting so suspicious while not even being willing to publicly claim your own family then expecting your girl to feel solid with you and have trust when you shake that chance for trust at every turn is wild behavior. Do you want trust? Do you want your girl? Your family? Idk what you want anymore.

If you aren't taking care of her heart, her emotions, her body, her spirit, and refuse to claim her, then how is she even your girl? Who are you but someone looking the other way while she drowns?

It hurts to know that I was never worth the simplest of steps. The most basic starting out point of respect and commitment. I wanted you to be shout it from the rooftops proud to be with me and all I got was hidden for years despite all of my efforts, emotional investment and time. None of it mattered to you because you never stopped entertaining for others at my expense. At the expense of my feelings that you clearly didn't give a f about. Actions speak louder than words and if a woman can love you so much that she's even willing to go through surgery for you and give you a family and she still isn't worth simple acknowledgement online to show her place in your life after years, that speaks volumes about your lack of care for her feelings, lack of respect for her place in your life and lack of your feelings for her. When will you ever learn? Can you not see the damage you've created in neglecting her feelings? Did you just never care? Was she just not worth it?