(Y’all please don’t take this seriously)
This post is not to
- Help you understand the characters better
- Use for your job application
Instead, this post is to
- Prove why everyone is sus
- Make the corrupted to the sussy amogus dance and eat hot chip
- Make an unfunny sus joke because my humor is broken
Now, let’s start.
1. Lucia is sus because of her devotion to the Commandant, no matter how they act. A Commandant could actually be a 50 year old Discord mod who’s a complete douche and yet Lucia still likes them. That’s kinda sus if you ask me.
2. Liv is sus because she acts all innocent and shy-like in the lore, yet is an absolute beast in gameplay. Have you seen Jesus Liv’s gameplay? That blinded my eyes. Liv can use this to blind the crewmates eyes (which is similar to cutting off the power in Among Us) and then kill them. Pretty sus, ngl.
3. Nanami is sus because we don’t know where she came from. HAICMA? Heuristically Artificial Intelligence Caretaking Machine - Alpha? Sagemachine? Hah! Those all sound pretty sus to me.
4. Lee is probably sus because Asimov refuses to give him a new frame. Why does he not want to give him a new frame? That’s very sus, Asimov must have a reason for doing that, unless Asimov is secretly sus too. Furthermore, Lee is sus because Kuro gave him a bigger ‘thing’ in his swimsuit due to player dissatisfaction.
5. Watanabe is sus because he had a magical girl transformation from basic dilf (Nightblade) into ikemen (Astral). He also looks like he sings Baby by Justin Bieber in the shower. Don’t you think that’s sus?
6. Bianca is sus because she’s Saber. Case closed.
7. Karenina is sus because she’s always trying to be better than Lucia. Like better in what? Better in being sus? Yeah, she’s certainly succeeding in that, but she’s sus enough by now. Why is she still trying to be more sus?
8. Alpha is sus because she tells everyone to die in the abyss. Yo, why she saying that? Isn’t that what a sussy impostor would say?
9. Kamui is sus because on his CNY skin, in his ending pose, he starts off on all fours. Plus, his tail is that of a butplug level…quite sus.
10. Ayla is sus because of her badonkers. Case closed.
11. Sofia is sus because she has no emotion in her Japanese voice and is only emotional when she dies. Very sus.
12. Chrome is sus because he wishes to be Commandant’s number one, but doesn’t Lucia also want to be the number one? Hm, what’s the word for when you copy someone? Oh, that’s right: Impostor.
13. Vera is sus. She is the embodiment of sus. Personality? Sus. Appearance? Sus.
14. Camu is sus. He is overly edgy and he looks like he has rabies. Also, what’s with that muzzle? Pretty sus.
15. Rosetta is sus. I swear, I remember the word “Gungnir” and a girl raising up into the air and blasting her railgun, yet I can’t quite put my finger on it…
16. Changyu? Who’s that?
17. Qu is so sus that no one uses her in compo team anymore.
18. Luna is sus. She never graduated elementary school and you can probably beat her in a math contest. Kinda sus for someone with such a high power position.
19. Wanshi/Banji is sus. One of his lines when you put him as the construct on screen is him joking about sleeping with you last night. Pretty sus.
20. Selena is sus because she somehow turned from a compositor back into a construct…you know what reminds you of? SUS
21. No. 21 is love, No. 21 is life. The 22 year old child is not sus. (Funny enough, this is the 21st character.)
22. Roland is sus because his QTE is him yeeting himself into the air, counting as being ejected. He’s also sus because he offers you his shoulder, and also says that you can touch him using “different ways”.
23. Pulao is sus— Did she use some sort of de-aging thing? I swear I remember her being much more mature in Nona Ouroboros. I think that’s sus.
24. Haicma kinda sus. She looks like a megaphone from the back with that bonnet, making her resemble Sirenhead. Isn’t that sus?
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