Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of peopleās hearts
My god, this year left me exhausted.
Itās 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.
This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.
But letās start from the beginning.
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Ukraine: robbed of their own show
We all know Ukraine couldnāt host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.
And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldnāt do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and makeĀ the showĀ about themā¦ only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start actingĀ as if they won and this was their show.
I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem calledĀ āmassive egoā and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.
This year shouldāve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.
The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I donāt care. Itās perfect, itās great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, Iām sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, thereās no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?
Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isnāt Ukraineās show, this is UKās show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, itās not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Letās make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.
I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Likeā¦ canāt you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugalās show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured meĀ for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I wouldāve done a great choice visiting them.
But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didnāt win.
The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraineās beautiful places, UKās beautiful places and every countryās beautiful places. Itās all beautiful and itās a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UKās hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a āconnectionā between Ukraine and every other country.
Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.
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