Miss Bitch 🎀

A year ago I couldn't express much for your birthday, the situation between us was difficult but not as much as it is now but I have many things to tell you and I want to start with a greeting that sounds monotonous and even repetitive but happy birthday, I wish you all the best in the world, you deserve every good thing that happens to you, you deserve eternal happiness and the love of the world, you are one of the people I have loved the most in my entire life, I want you to enjoy life and everything it can give you. I want you to never suffer for love, I want the sun to rest in your window every morning, I want the moonlight to illuminate every step you take. I want you to know how much I have loved you for these 3 years, I want all the best for you, I want you to know that no matter how much time has passed and how far away we are most of the time I want you to feel the warmth of my love, because I have been here before and forever. I will be happy and proud of you forever, a prosperous life full of beautiful things awaits you. I think I'll love you forever, and you'll always be you. The love of my life, you always will be, you deserve the sky, the sea, and the earth, you deserve that I don't know what it's like to cry, you deserve all the love I can give you, and you deserve everything you have and more. Happy birthday, beautiful girl. I love you and I hope that one day my love will be all you need. I'll love you forever, D*****.

It's been 3 years, I'm still waiting for you, I'm still thinking of you in every way I can. Before, they were your eyes raining in autumn, and now they're mine. I'd rather let you go than be your prisoner, but don't go around claiming to be the owner of my feelings.

I didn't expect love or hate. I've had enough of my pain. I curse the episode. The worst part is that I was the one who wrote it.

She's the love of my life that I never thought I'd find, and now I have to forget her, almost bury her. I don't think I can bear it and continue without looking back when I couldn't even steal a kiss from her.

11:11 and for the first time in what seems like a long time, you were not my desire.

I still love you. I don't know how to explain it. I guess it's because I really can't, and even though someone once told me "the best things are never explained," this feels wrong—not the fact that I love you, but the fact that I shouldn't because even though there's no one else for me, there never has been, and there never will be, I know it's not mutual. I also know from the guy you call "the love of your life" that you're planning to be a family, a bigger one than just the two of you and your dogs, one where there will soon be two little feet running around in the yard. I knew this would happen one day but I never prepared myself to hear it, I once said it: "I know you want to be a mom, I think you'd be the coolest" and that same night I was asked if I could hate a miniature being just because it's the product of that stupid bear on steroids, but honestly I could never hate someone who has the eyes of the love of my life, someone who has the same gap in their fangs as the woman I've loved the most, someone whose innocent little face tells me that I should let you go already because there's nothing left in the dust of my hopes that could be with you, I've put this off too long. I said I'd walk away when you got married, I couldn't do it. I said when you have babies but will I really? Because children are the greatest confirmation that nothing will separate you from him because you love him and you chose him but, isn't that the same as marriage? Or is this just me putting off letting you go because I can't imagine a life without the pleasurable ache that your love brings me?

And I think I'll wait forever until the moon comes around and tells me that she told the moon, that night on the roof "she told me that she's afraid that all her thoughts are like you" and I just told the moon, the way that you move I asked her to please tell me if you say things to her too

Everything is so different now, less intensity same feelings. My emotions work differently now, I love you and damn it gosh I do but it's not even the same anymore you know? I love you but I'm starting to let you go, it took hell to do it but something in me says if it already hurt why not let it go? You made me different in so many ways but you broke me in a way that only a woman could, in a way that only real love can, gold is forged with fire we can't deny it but sometimes I also wonder almost every hot night if we weren't meant to be why does it hurt so much why suffer for someone who was only passing by? I'm not closing myself off to the opportunity to love again, but damn, I haven't even stopped loving you, let alone someone else, and when I start to love someone else, in fact, you'll always be present in my mind, if 10 years go by and I get married and you finally ask me to be with you, I'll leave everything behind and come back... Because for me there's no one else, even if love ends, I'll always be yours.

How I miss you, I miss you mi amor and if this is loving you today I renounce love, and I suppose I should start living, but my life is not life without you.

That look in your eyes has such a familiar glimmer, I could never guess where I've seen it before. In a dream? In another life? The day I almost died and there was only a pinprick of light in the darkness? I've seen that, but I'll never know where. I don't know exactly where I came from or where I'm going, but the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew where to stay. That was my place. D***