Feeling like im bord but how would i know

Riley Samels on Instagram / Etsy

hit on me like this and i guarantee it’ll work

IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN A MEXICAN LEGEND

Hey how can you blame her 🥲❤️

And put away my autumn-mobile.

Late night thoughts #kittycatandmanlyman

#mentalhealthmonth #kittycatandmanlyman

He looks worried so his dad asks him, “What’s wrong?” Nervous, the kid asks, “How long do I have to go to school for?” “Until you’re 18,” says the father. The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly. When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says, “Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I’m 18, won’t you?”

Art by Dora

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“Mum, am I adopted?” “No of course not,” replied his mother. “Why would you think such a thing?” Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city. Perturbed, his mother called her husband. “Honey, Fred has done a DNA test, and… and… I don’t know how to say this… he may not be our son.” “Well, obviously!” he replied. “What do you mean?” “It was your idea in the first place” her husband continued. “You remember, that first night in hospital when the baby did nothing but scream and cry and scream and cry. On and on. And you asked me to change him.” “I picked a good one I reckon. Ever so proud of Fred.”

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, “Okay”, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?” The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

There is nothing.

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