the verb for i

"I remember perceiving very early, in almost a raw way, that if people didn't find women almost seductive, they generally regarded them with disgust. I remember seeing that and knowing there wasn't a neutral feeling toward women, whereas people mainly felt toward men in a neutral way. They didn't go out of their way to make fun of an older man walking down the street, whereas with a woman there were countless ways to describe her, as a cow or a dragon lady, all those contemptuous terms. Unless she's upfront seductive, generally the terms are contemptuous. I remember realizing that as a kid. I remember even discussing it with people, trying to figure out why it was so. I was absolutely baffled by it because I perceived myself mainly as neutral and invisible, and I didn't particularly want to be perceived either way, either with disgust or as seductive. So obviously that must influence my writing. I don't like to deal with that aspect of life. I don't like going around in a book being somebody who has to either be seductive or face people's disgust. I haven't resolved all my feelings about it, so it's easier to write from the male point of view. I do find it easier to write about gay men for that reason and others. I feel like I'm removed from everything, that I can really have a fresh perspective." -- Conversations With Anne Rice, by Michael Riley

[ID: Obsession (2026) fanart, stylized as a Polaroid. The photo shows Nikki lit by a harsh flash, capturing her shoulders and her grin, but not her eyes— they are pinpricks of light. Her hair is wild, there is a splatter of blood down her face. Sharpie captions the image, “not me”. End ID.]

i think abt anne rice’s answer to “what are your work habits for a novel?” probably every single day