YoursTrulyCaterina

if someone is telling you that they’re not a jealous person and their actions are completely opposite to their claims, drop that fucking block. i talk a lot on here already about healthy communication, consent both romantically and sexually, how to establish healthy boundaries, and how to identify when someone is not interested in respecting your boundaries. it blows my mind that people on here can follow me, like my posts about these things, and then turn around and treat others as if for their own consumption. this behavior from people like that is often a pattern and can be seen the same looking back. it’s not on you to do anything for someone that lacks respect for your autonomy both romantically and sexually, especially when you have no attachments to that person and they don't even know you. a pattern of unreasonable behavior and lashing out is more than enough reason to block someone and be done with them. if someone cannot extend basic decency to you when you have done nothing wrong to them, they do not deserve you (your time, attention, interest, affection) otherwise. and if it happens in reaction to your happiness completely separate of them??— fucking BLOCK.

how someone chooses to lash out at others when there has been no provocation of any kind is extremely telling of how they conduct themselves when they are dealing with feelings of insecurity, resentment, and perceived rejection. you can absolutely do your best to empathize and understand it, but know that you are not responsible for anything other than that. it is not your job to make yourself smaller because someone is used to never dealing with the consequences of their actions when they want to feel momentarily bigger. bullying is super strange and weird but when it happens, you can see it pretty clearly for what it is and who that person is. someone can be very well-read and still very inexperienced when it comes to healthy communication and the handling of interpersonal relationships. lack of healthy communication and a disregard for the autonomy of others is loud with these types of people but they're good about keeping it mostly under wraps until it becomes an inconvenience for them to be kind and when they want attention in any way possible, even negatively. accountability is also going to be unlikely so yeah, if you notice a pattern— block them.

and speaking more specifically, if you are the kind of person that becomes infatuated with people even though you don't know them very well whatsoever, if you're the type to get jealous over perceived "theft" of another person because their attention even momentarily sways in another direction (as if you were owed it in the first place), if you're the type to lash out at others because both your impulse control and your temper are held on a hair trigger— maybe consider the thoughts/well-being of others first and just don't sexually interact online. the lack of interest to healthily communicate is and will be damaging to yourself and others. if your first thought is to lash out before even attempting communication of your feelings, you need to look inward and do some reflection. your actions affect others. a momentary release of pent up anger for you is pain for someone else. invalidating someone's identity because you want to feel better about yourself is super disappointing behavior, especially when that person was nothing but sweet to you prior to your many instances of perceived rejection. that is about you and no one else. don't project your feelings of insecurity onto others. be kind to yourself and do better. hurting people does cost you something. if it seems to cost you nothing, take some time and wonder on why that is. if you feel entitled to others both sexually and romantically, you're doing something wrong and it needs to be addressed by you and someone you feel safe to talk to about that before you go around hurting more people who've treated you with nothing but kindness.

It all starts with your thoughts.

Your brain has the ability to visualize both the past and future. This means we’re not only able to relive difficult scenarios from our past but also imagine worst case outcomes that haven’t even happened yet.

Your mind doesn’t distinguish between what’s imagined and what’s real. When you repeatedly think about stressful situations or dwell on negativity, your body reacts as if those scenarios are actually happening. You have the power to turn on the stress response with your thoughts alone.

Unfortunately, our brains are wired to focus on the negative, imagining worst case scenarios, worrying, and even sabotaging ourselves.

When you’re constantly visualizing stress or living with a negative mindset, your body struggles to escape fight or flight mode. Instead of relaxing, your brain keeps releasing stress hormones to protect you from perceived danger even when no real danger exists.

However, a stressed mind and a grateful mind can’t exist at the same time.

1. If you find something that you want to change, you have two options. One, is to talk about the change you are going to make. Or, two, stop talking. And begin.

2. Avoid easy deadlines. Deadlines serve you best when they are short, hard and, at first glance, impossible. Urgency gets things done.

3. Follow through. On the big things. On the small things. Create a habit of always following through. As habits go, it's a good one to have.

4. Focus on the task. If you are doing something that isn't pushing the task forward, that is called a distraction. Distractions are plentiful. But remember, distractions stop you from doing.

5. Obstacles will come your way. Guaranteed. Think of them as a gift. They will make you stronger. They will make you more creative. Rather than break you, they will define you.

6. Ideas change things. But ideas by themselves change nothing. An idea needs effort to make it happen. Do the work.

7. Leverage your energy. You can't increase the number of hours in a day, but you can multiply your effort. Understand the power of the influencers: The few influence the many. Find your multiplier. The person, the company, the organisations who can acclerarate the change you want to make.

8. What you are doing is hard, but not impossible. Practice optimism.

9. What is the priority today? Ask yourself this every day. It's your job to keep the main thing the main thing.

10. The energy available to get this done is directly proportional to how much it matters to you. Only commit to things that matter.

11. Perfection comes over time. Not at the beginning. Start where you are. But start.

12. Sprint. Rest. Sprint. Rest. Human's get more done in bursts followed by rest. Getting things done isn't about who does the longest hours, but who does the smartest hours.

13. 80% of your time is spent on things that you are not good at. 20% of your time is spent on the things you are very good at. In order to get more done, flip that.

14. Teams multiply change. Teams with a clear purpose, and a clear sense of the change they can make, get the most done.

15. Keep your energy for pushing forward. The past is done. Things out of your control cannot be changed. Energy spent being angry, jealous, or cynical is negative energy. Stay positive.

16. Make a plan. Then accept it can and will change. Making something happen is about being nimble and adaptable.

17. Say no. And say it often. As David Allen says: "You can do anything, but not everything." Protect your time.

18. Making things happen is fun. Making things happen that matter with a team as crazy as you are, is the best fun of all.

19. Little actions repeated relentlessly result in big change. Don't underestimate the importance of 'small' multiplied by 'often'.

20. Make a pact with failure early on. Respect it. But don't fear it. If it occupies your mind whilst doing, it can stop you from winning. Free your mind.

21. Even though you are busy, make time to help others who are at the start of their journey. Give back. It will help you.

22. All teams want to be part of history. Have something big that you want to change. This is bigger than you. You're purpose multiplies the teams stubbornness to get this thing done.

23. if you are going to make change happen, make it a good one. This planet needs as many friends as it can get.

What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?

What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?

What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?

Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?

How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?

Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?

How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?

Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?

Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?

Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?

Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?

Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?

How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?

Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?

Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?

Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?

Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?

What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?

Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?

Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?

Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?

Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?

Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?

Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?

Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?

Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?

Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?

Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?

Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?

Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?

Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?

Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?

Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?

Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?

Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?

Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?

Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?

Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?

Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?

Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?

Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?

Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?

Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?

Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?

Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?

Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?

Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?

Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?

Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?

Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?

Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?

Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?

Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?

Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?

Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?

Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?

Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?

Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?

We've all had someone walk by us that made us go, “whoa.” They wear the brands you wish you could, have the hair you want, and you imagine them have a buzzing schedule, especially with that coffee in their hand. Images connected to our attachment to success is strutting by you.

In this article we will explore 3 major root causes of the clogs causing blockages to your confidence and how to unclog them.

1. Your outlook on others who are “better than you.”

Comparison is a hard-wired function of the brain. If you see someone that you perceive being better than you, automatic feelings of jealousy, shame and guilt arise. A storm brews within you because you inner-narrative is not tamed. “The colour of that jacket doesn't look good on them, I'd wear it better”, “I bet they come from a rich family”, “they have it so easy.”

You can't stop your brain from comparison, but you can re-frame the narrative to something uplifting. After taming your narrative the automatic responses your brain will spring at you will be light and airy, not dark and heavy.

How to Tame the Brain: Each time a negative/undesired thought arises, simply stop it in its tracks and replace it with a better thought. Better doesn't have to overly positive (which can be counter-productive because you don't believe what you are thinking) opt for neutral narratives which will help stem away from black and white thinking. “I wonder what mall they went to for that jacket”, “that looks like an interesting person, I wonder what their story is”, “you never know what someone is going through, be kind.”

Your perception of others as better also signifies deep lacking on your part, a big gap lies between you and your desires. It also communicates a false hierarchy to your subconscious, that material or aesthetically pleasing things make someone better than another.

2. Lacking supportive friends.

Unsupportive friends don't provide you with just nothing, they plant seeds of doubt in your mind because they see your potential and want to stunt it. The don't want you doing better than them, and they get a sense of confidence from chopping yours down. When one is thirsty they will drink poison to quench the dehydration, similarly when we are starved of affection and attention, we will fill that void with toxic connections.

Solution: Cut toxic friendships off, they do not serve you in creating your best-self and your participation is serving their ego. To know who is toxic, start taking inventory of how you feel after interactions with friends. Write in a journal how you feel after the conversations, and after a couple of days take a look at your log and see who is making you feel negatively.

Proximity can create blurred boundaries which equals a lack of respect. If you notice it is a very good friend of yours and you don't want to completely cut them off, start taking some space so they do not have access to you how they did before. This will signify a shift to them that is happening within you and alarm them that their grip on you is releasing (prepare for push-back, they won't like that they don't have the same access to you). Using your voice will fully indicate that the have no hold over you anymore and that you don't care what their response will be because you have things to say to them for yourself.

It's tempting to cancel everyone out of your life who is acting "in the wrong," and some people don't deserve a conversation because they are not in the place to receive it, and will just twist your words. But we are all capable of change and if you do not address the issue you are excluding the chance for them to change and become the person you wish they were in respect to the friendship you have with them.

3. Stop being agreeable, stop being so nice.

Confident people are not rude, but they are also not spineless. They are indifferent to your response because no matter what they know they will be okay. The know they have the tools or can find tools to solve their problems, they focus on the bigger picture instead of getting caught up in little details, and they are disciplined with their boundaries.

Don't be scared to take up space. Being opened with your body language non-verbally communicates confidence. But to verbally take up space is all about raising your words, not your voice, as Rumi said.

Not being agreeable, and voicing opinions about causes that you stand up for makes people trust and respect you because if you agree with everything I say, you'll just agree with whatever the next person says, and what intellectual gain or entertainment can you really provide if you appear to just have the same opinion as everyone?

Conclusion:

What is "response-ability"?

It's the power we have to take responsibility for our responses. We're not just products of our circumstances; we can shape our future through conscious choices and actions.

By embracing response-ability, we can truly change our lives. No longer victims, we empower ourselves to create the outcomes we desire.

But we can't control everything... There are things that impact us—like the economy, job market, war, discrimination—that we can't control. But we can control our responses and reclaim control over our lives.

Real-life application:

Dealing with Relationship Conflict? Instead of blaming your partner for issues in the relationship, take responsibility for your own actions and emotions. "Love" is a verb, so start doing it by actively listening, being genuinely invested in your partner and use effective communication to address conflicts constructively.

Struggling with a Difficult Professor? Initiate a conversation with the professor to understand their expectations and preferred approaches to coursework. Build a positive rapport by actively participating in class discussions and seeking feedback on your work to increase your chances of success in the class.

Concerned About the Housing Crisis? - Vote for a political party with robust policies, write to your local member, protest or volunteer community organisations to help those who are struggling the most at the moment.

Instead of feeling helpless, become empowered to navigate challenges with resilience and grace. Embrace your capacity to overcome obstacles.

One of the most frequent herbs that you end up learning or hearing about when first getting involved with witchcraft is undeniably sage. In kitchen witchery, it’s a very nifty herb… In working cleansing spells, sage is often a go-to for smoke cleansing. In garden witchery, sage is very beneficial for the garden. The list goes on and on. It seems that there are nearly no places in witchcraft that sage hasn’t found a small bit of influence in. But it begs the question: why sage? Why do we put so much emphasis on this herb when there are others which are arguably just as useful, such as rosemary or lavender?

First, let’s take a look at the benefits that sage often is linked to. Possibly the most well-known use for sage is for smoke cleansing. Witches new to the community, make note that I’m specifically using the term “smoke cleansing” and not “smudging.” Smudging is a much more specific Native American ritual that makes use of sage for smoke cleansing, but is specific to a closed culture and is has meticulous rules regarding its actions (right down to the type of sage being used). As such, whenever I refer to the use of burning herbs for the sake of cleansing through smoke, I’ll be using the generic “smoke cleansing.” But I digress. Often, herbs that are burned for their smoke in regards to cleansing are chosen for one of two reasons: either it smells wonderful, or it smells so gods-awful that even spirits don’t want to be around it. Typically, the aroma is also very strong, so as to completely change the scent of the air (take, for instance, the incredibly powerful aromas of frankincense and myrrh, which were both used as funerary incense because the smell was powerful enough to cover up the odor of decay in a time when preserving bodies might not have been as advanced as today). Sage covers both points. It is a very powerful scent capable of clearing away any lingering odors prior to its introduction, and I know of very few people who dislike the scent. This symbolically makes it particularly useful for clearing away negative energy often associated with odor.

In addition to cleansing, sage is often attributed to protection. And I don’t just mean driving away negative energy or entities. Historically, illness and malady were associated with evil spirits. This includes illnesses that cause prolonged discomfort, pain, difficulties breathing, et cetera. While nowadays we attribute most contagious illnesses to viral and bacterial infection, we didn’t always have the benefit of microscopy (and even with microscopes, it still took a while for us to learn about disease from a microbial perspective - microscopes were already being used by the time of the Great Plague in England from 1665-1666, but it was still believed that the disease was being transmitted through odor… it wouldn’t be for another 228 years in 1894 that the cause was due to bacterial infection). As a result, disease was often attributed to odor, evil spirits, divine retribution, et cetera. And even the use of scents was so prominent that the classic beaked plague doctor’s mask was stuffed with potpourri as a way of fending off the odors believed to spread the affliction. Sage is no different in that regard, being strong enough to fend off most odors, and seeming to drive away affliction. And indeed, sage is especially helpful with respiratory distress, making it seem as if the spirits causing the sickness were fleeing from the smoke.

So here we have two significant uses: cleansing a space by providing a pleasant aroma, and driving away spirits through the same use. As a medicinal herb, sage leaves are used to help regulate flatulence, ease stomach pain, curb diarrhea, reduce bloating, ease discomfort linked to heartburn, ease pain associated with menstrual periods, correct excessive milk flow when nursing, and to assist with asthma. There’s very little, it seems, that this herb can’t do when it comes to daily affliction. Modern researchers are even turning to sage as a potential medicine to help correct chemical imbalances associated with Alzheimer’s disease, and even depression! And this is a common theme with many of the herbs that we use in witchcraft - they typically have some sort of historical medicinal value (though not always - there are some herbs out there that don’t have as much medicinal value corroborated by medical science, but this doesn’t fully discount them, as psychology plays a major role in witchcraft… one’s associations have a psychological effect even if the chemical makeup of the herb itself doesn’t have much benefit).

So given the sheer usefulness of sage, perhaps it’s no surprise that it’s an easy go-to for witchcraft. Add to this the fact that garden varieties of sage are easy to come by. We see various forms of domesticated sage in smoke cleansing bundles in such places as niche New Age/witchcraft and spirituality shops, Whole Foods, Amazon, and in a more recent witchy controversy, Sephora. There are some varieties that are believed to be more powerful than others - white sage is a coveted variety in part because of its high value in some Native American cultures, and in part because it is an endangered variety - but for the most part, nearly every strain of sage shares similar benefits. This makes it easily accessible as a dried bundle. Because of its link to spirituality, this herb has also become a sort of catch-all for magic - more so than lavender, which we more frequently attribute to cosmetics, and more so than rosemary, which we more frequently attribute to cooking and gardening.

Another factor, which I’ll briefly touch on, is that of cultural appropriation. I don’t want to go too in-depth on this, as it is not the core topic of this article, but it is part of why it seems we’ve got such a strong drive to use sage in everything magical. For those new to the community, cultural appropriation is the taking of and incorporation of cultural values from one culture into another, without acknowledgment or proper credit to what those values mean or represent. While many people cite more recent examples, I feel that one of the best examples is actually that of the Roman Empire - when encountering a new culture, aspects of that culture’s beliefs and practices were incorporated into the greater Roman culture in a way which could have completely wiped out the other one. Imagine a world, for instance, where we didn’t know about Zeus and the rest of the Olympians, but instead worshiped Jupiter and the other gods of the Roman pantheon. In general, cultural appropriation is criticized much more today because of the homogenization of modern culture, and because many of the criticized instances are in regards to cultures that are fighting for survival. So where does sage fit into this? Refer back to my second paragraph, where I clarified the difference between smudging and smoke cleansing. While there are similarities in the physical act of the process, the purpose and symbolic meaning of smudging is lost in the cultures that have appropriated it and perpetuated the more modern/New Age version that you often see in mainstream markets. Its presentation through the use of the term “smudging” gives it an air of mystery and magic, further adding to its appeal for those who don’t know the difference and helping to draw even more focus to sage as a mystical herb.

Now, this isn’t to say that burning sage for cleansing is a no-go. Every culture has some form of smoke cleansing, whether through herbs, woods, or resins, and garden sage has been a staple of incense in Europe for almost as long as white sage has been a staple in North America. Understanding and proper terminology is key, of course, and knowing the difference between a significant religious rite and a common magical practice for modern neo-pagans certainly helps to preserve culture without appropriating wantonly. Ultimately, the point I’m trying to make in this article as I burn some sage in my room to help with some congestion, is that when there is an herb that sticks out more than others in magical practice, it’s good to explore why that is. It’s good to try to understand why we develop certain associations with certain aspects of our craft, because that helps to inform our growth and understanding of not only the magic we use, but of how we have developed and come to be where we are. And this is something that applies not just to the big things like sage, but also to the little ones. 

Those who have been following my blog for quite a while know that one of the key bits of advice I give to every beginner witch who sends in an ask is to think critically and to read everything with a grain of salt. Some things will resonate with us, while others won’t. Sage is a useful and powerful herb, but that isn’t the law of the land. It does not have nearly as big of a focus in my personal craft as rosemary and dragon’s blood, for instance. And for some people, sage doesn’t have a place at all. But learning and being critical (as in having a logical and open mind eager to get to the root, not as in having a closed mind that discounts everything) is a benefit to any practice, religious or otherwise. These thoughts are food for the mind. Something to consider. And remember, as in all of my Real Talks, this is largely my personal takes, opinions, and explorations. They are not the end-all be-all. I may be wrong on a few points. I may have missed the mark. But that’s the beauty of my craft. It’s constantly growing, changing, evolving.

Being kind to mean people

Teas with honey and sleeping early

A fun collection of cute mugs from little antique stores

Pearls and dainty jewellery

Buying flowers for yourself or a loved one, not just on special occasions.

being kind just because you want to, with no hidden motives, just genuine kindness

Reading and writing poetry

Self-care nights and long bubble baths

Going to the farmer's market to buy fresh fruits

No phone in the morning

Paying attention to the little things: changing seasons, moon phases, blooming flowers, etc...

Calm hobbies like painting, knitting, reading, baking

Matcha and tea over coffee

Being kind to stray animals and befriending them

Sending handwritten letters to your friends

Try cooking from scratch, make some jam, maybe attempt a sourdough... (nara smith my queen)

Flower prints and sundresses

Lacy tops and light colours

Taking time to appreciate art, listen to music, visit museums and art exhibitions, go to concerts, the theatre, cinema, etc..

Wearing only natural fabrics

Vanilla scented EVERYTHING

not sure how I feel about the title, but this all leans into the "softer/calmer life" thing; you guys get me lol. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! ♡

1. You are someone’s dream girl exactly the way you are right now.

We put so much emphasis on growth and getting to that “next best place”, which is fine, but we always forget that we deserve self-love as we are right now. It does not mean that you aren’t at your “best” physically and/or mentally that you aren’t deserving of love, kindness, and respect.

2. Perspective is everything

Stop stressing over that one bad grade you received at school. In ten years, you won’t even remember what teacher gave it to you. Focus your energy on things that’ll have lasting impacts. When you look back on your life, you want to see the beauty of it, not the anguish.

3. Growth isn’t linear

Don’t blame yourself for messing up. We aren’t perfect and we are bound to mess up every once in a while. Learn from your mistakes, and try to not repeat them. And if you do, that’s okay, there’s always another time. Growth has no time limit.

4. You are not a bad person

If you are sitting here constantly asking yourself if you are a bad person or underserving of love, I’m here to tell you one thing: bad people don’t worry about whether they are perceived as “good” or “bad”. Give yourself grace, and stop letting your overthinking consume you.

So much love,

hey loves! i know i've made plenty of posts talking about confidence, but after going through one of the worst mental health patches i've had, i've come back with a lot more to say. i've always been pretty thin skinned and after seeing the judgement that a lot of ppl were going thru, it made me feel like i needed to fit into an acceptable box, to please as many people as possible.

defining your beliefs. i think it's important to know what things for you are a non-negotiable. like find things that you believe in deeply and things that you wouldn't care being judged for.

setting your priorities. this really helps me- i think about what is really important to me and what is not. i'm not striving to be the smartest person on the planet, so if someone thinks im dumb then whatever.

having confident role models. some of my relatives from Massachusetts are like very stereotypical 'massholes' and they just all have so much confidence about everything, so i like to think about them. or chloe sevigny. honestly just anyone who is true to themselves and radiates that sort of vibe is good to look up to.

putting yourself in new situations. i've had so many instances where i worry about something, and then when it actually happens it's not even bad. and i think the more times this happens the more you realize how much we build up fear.

seeing the good in others. when you become a critic of everyone else, eventually you'll start doing the same thing to yourself. stop thinking that you would do better then someone in every situation.

i think of my faith in God. if youre not religious then you can skip this, but personally i remind myself that in the end it won't matter how people judged me, but how God did. stop pandering to people.

the energy of others: surround yourself with positive people and avoid those who drain you.

the videos you watch: select content that inspires, educates or entertains you in a healthy way.

what you read: look for reliable sources and material that enriches you intellectually.

who you follow: follow people who inspire and challenge you to grow.

what you scroll through on social media: avoid negative content and look for something that motivates you or makes you feel good.

the news: look for objective sources of information and avoid information overload.

highlights of others: compare less and celebrate more the achievements of others.

the advice you listen to: evaluate advice according to your criteria and needs.

COLLAB WITH THE HOTTIE????!!!!!!! @honeytonedhottie. LMAO NOT US PLANNING THIS IN LIKE DEC THEN RELEASING IN APRIL. I luv you so much ur my fav moot. moots who collab together, stay together. Check out her post on her page too, as usual, she makes the best points so y'all better listen.

Rebranding is a process in which you redefine who you are and how others perceive you. Each journey of rebranding yourself is personal and individual. When you rebrand yourself, you further align yourself with your higher you. This post is a guide to getting started on your journey!

UNDERSTAND YOUR CURRENT SELF.

So, take a step back and think about who you are as an individual right now. What are your values and beliefs? Does your external self reflect your inner self? Are you comfortable in your current environment?

These questions and more will help to see which aspects of your life you may need to redefine. See if there’s anything that doesn’t align with your higher self. 

After that, pick those aspects that need to be redefined. Why do you want to change this? How has this been impacting you internally/externally? Does this aspect stem from your environment or yourself? See why this aspect needs to be improved. 

DESIGNING YOUR BRAND

This is more of a fun step! So, using your aspects design how you want that specific thing to look and feel like. Avoid being vague or non-specific. Try to put in as much detail as you can for each aspect. 

If you’d prefer, you don’t have to use ‘aspects’ and instead use your life generally. This is your redesign, so do whatever is more comfortable and achievable for you.

ASPECTS

Health

Social life

Career

Hobbies

Family

Finance

Spirituality

Personal development (mindset, goals, improvement)

Self care

Culture

Well-being

Things to include

Achievable goals

How your environment looks like

How your daily life like

How you see yourself

What do you feel after

Why this is alignment within yourself? 

You can do this any way you want. The one I would recommend for redesigning your life would be a vision board, preferably a physical one. If you don’t want to do that, there are still a lot of options such as writing it down into a pretty poster, creating a playlist that will reflect your brand, creating a pretty list, or having sticky notes around your room as reminders. 

Be creative and detailed with this. You should spend at least an hour if not more trying to redesign your life/aspects.

CREATING GOALS

Goals are so important, especially when we are moving in a different direction than we were before. As we’ve got the current status of who we are and what we want to be, creating goals should be easy. 

Make your goals visible. Put a sticky note on your mirrors, put it as your laptop background, put a reminder on your phone, listen to a playlist that motivates you of your goals or anything else that will constantly remind you of your goals. 

Other than that, remember that goals have to be achievable, mindful, and flexible.

ESTABLISHING HABITS

Habits are so important to rebrand yourself. Habits make up your identity. The way you act, speak, and do daily, can subconsciously influence you to be someone who isn’t in alignment with your higher self.

 As much as it’s important to establish new habits that align with you, you have to root out the habits that are pushing you off track from achieving your goals. 

The good thing is that you can do both at the same time. Replace those old habits, with brand new ones. For example, when you open your phone first thing in the morning instead of opening up TikTok, get YouTube opened and start a 5-minute meditation to start your day.

However, just because a habit is beneficial for you, it doesn’t mean it is in alignment for you. For many people, they prefer to read books as a productive alternative for leisure, however, you may not be able to read a book and focus. In that case, you may want to watch an educational video instead. You’re still getting the benefits, but just in a different way. 

STEP FIVE: IMPLEMENTING YOUR BRAND DAILY

Think about all the little details of how this person would act, from morning until night. Embody their actions, words, aura, and vibes. This is when having a visual of your goals is good, so you can see what you need to do.

This includes no longer indulging in things your higher self wouldn’t do. Regardless of how much comfort, entertainment, or dopamine something gives you, you have to let it go if it is destroying your mind. 

I way I recommend implementing your brand daily by creating a daily routine that focuses on a different goal each day of the week. E.g:

Monday - Practicing being mindful (meditation, journaling, connecting with your religion)

Tuesday - Fitness (pilates, weightlifting, hot girl walks)

Wednesday - Socialising (going out to meet new people/connecting with old friends)

Thursday - Productivity (Schoolwork, studying, business, workplace tasks)

Friday - Self-care (taking a slow day however you’d like)