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The Buzzfeed article was titled “This Man Invited People To A “BBQ Not Orgy” On Grindr And It Was Surprisingly Heartwarming.” It’s about how Chris Bowman, a 61 year old man from Apex, North Carolina has been hosting an annual summer BBQ. He advertises this BBQ through the gay dating/hookup app, Grindr. It’s about how the event is surprisingly sweet and Bowman, who is a recovered alcoholic, wants to give back to the community and bring people together.

TL;DR Chris is a registered sex offender with a history of pedophilia and preying on young people. His ‘not an orgy’ and community talk is a gaslighting tactic to groom young people into having sex with him. Buzzfeed, Vice, and other social media outlets giving his event a platform endangers LGBT youth.

Buzzfeed Link: Click Here

Time for the real shit. Buckle UP.

A group of four of us (J, M, S, and A) attended the BBQ in the summer of 2017. J received an invite similar to the one shown in the Buzzfeed article over Grindr, and we’re young and dumb so we decided what the hell, let’s go. We rolled up and saw a fire truck and ambulance already there. He’d invited the local fire department and EMS to attend the BBQ. The food was admittedly very good, and the crowd was a strange mix of after-church and from Grindr. Most of the other folks at the BBQ seemed fine and kind. Buzzfeed got that right. Here is what they left out:

HE’S A SEX CRIMINAL

His page on the NC registry: Click Here

More information about his charges & appeal: Click Here

1997: Chris is giving Daniel, a 14 yo boy, a golf lesson. He locks the doors to the store and turns off the lights. He comes up behind Daniel under the impression of adjusting the child’s technique. He reaches down into Daniel’s underwear and molests him.

1998: Chris’s daughter has two friends over for a slumber party. They are sisters. When everyone is asleep, Jessica, a 15 yo girl, is walking down the stairs of his multi-level house. Chris approaches, pulls down her shorts, and performs oral sex on her. He stops when Jessica’s sister stumbles upon the scene.

2005: Chris provides his house as a location for two friends, a 24 yo and 18 yo, to have sex with their underage girlfriends, 14 yo and 15 yo.

He appealed his 2005 convictions that testimony from 1997 & 98 was inadmissible in the determination of guilt phase of his trial.

THE BBQ

Chris knew who we were and immediately inserted himself into our group. We figured, yeah we’ll talk with him a while—he gave us all this food, so we kind of have to (!!THIS IS HIS STRATEGY!!). Anyway, we listened to him talk about orgies, sex, golf, and drugs in Europe for about an hour. Topics he hit:

-        Orgies he’d attended in downtown Paris where you circled the arc de triumph in your car until forming a chain of other searching cars that would eventually peel off into a warehouse or somewhere to initiate the orgy. It’s cool you, should totally try it sometime! OKAY.

-        He talked a lot about how his favorite drug to use was Black Beauty

-        He talked a lot about how good the golfing was in Scotland (He molested a 14 yo boy in 1997 while teaching a golf lesson!)

-        He spent a lot of time trying to convince us to attend the “BBQ After Dark”

The heat was incredible that day and we were starting to get tired of his weird sex talk. Chris saw this and asked J what was wrong. J told him it was just kind of hot. Chris followed up by inviting J to go on and take his shirt off. J said no, he was fine. Chris said, “Oh no, come on! Take your shirt off! I’ll take my shirt off!” J ignored it. We were all uncomfortable. Throughout the ENTIRE event, Chris constantly reminded us about the after dark portion of the BBQ, which we were all very invited to. We had no plans of going, but kept our refusals soft and polite out of respect, because again, the BBQ is a tactic to make you treat him kinder and feel bad about thinking he’s creepy.

THE NEXT DAY

This was when the solicitations started. For the next year and a half until J deleted his Grindr last fall, Chris continued to send J messages trying to move things forward. He also tried to pick up A and S through J’s Grindr. He’s talked about how he’s really excited about the buzz the event has been getting and how he’s hoping the event will grow and grow. J hasn’t responded to the messages that have kept coming for over a year. Attached are a few screenshots.

CONCLUSION

since my original post and blog was deleted:

this is me in the top photo.

the second photo is me last night.

the third photo is me a few days later.

my name is Heather, I am nineteen years old, broken hearted and broken. my boyfriend did this to me. if you EVER notice abnormal jealousy or controlling issues with your “man” LEAVE HIM. THINGS WILL NOT GET BETTER WHEN HE DOESN’T KNOW HE’S SICK. i almost lost my fucking life last night to someone who claimed he loved me.

we were fighting. arguing. like any normal couple. until i tried running. i was dragged up the stairs by my hair. he started strangling me. so i suggested we take a break. when i said those words, something flipped inside of him.. the look in his kind eyes vanished and all i could see was anger and evilness. he then smashed a sharp drink pitcher into my face repeatedly until my nose started gushing blood all over the bed. once he saw what he had done, he ran to the bathroom and was screaming “WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I’M SO SORRY!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!” etc while rocking back and forth in the bathtub, fully clothed. that was my final chance. i ran downstairs to phone 911 and request an ambulance and officers RIGHT away. as soon as he heard me on the phone he started thumping downstairs screaming- “DON’T CALL ANYONE!”

i have never been so petrified in my life. and i’ve been to hell and back. as soon as i heard the thuds down the steps, i ran outside into the snow banks wearing nothing on my bare feet, jogging pants, and a thin tank top in -20 weather. i luckily immediately saw two strangers walking across the street. I dropped the phone I had scooped up on my way out in the snow and ran over to them screaming for help. all they could see was a face covered in tears and blood screaming and crying, desperately clinging to them. one of them instantly pulled out their cell phone and explained the situation to 911. the other sat with my on a set of stairs outside a local food bank holding me and comforting me until i flagged down a random black van. he backed up over train tracks to get a better look at what he had passed. once he saw me he got out of the vehicle, got me into his back seats and gave me a ride to the hospital where i was rushed into emergency. i was stitched up alone. i was in shock now- crying out for my parents, continuing to redial both their phone numbers, leaving endless text messages and voicemails. it was 3:00AM, they we’re at home in their warm beds, about to woken up to officers at their door informing them of their battered and broken daughter in the hospital.

thankfully, i have no broken bones. i have two black eyes (one is verry swollen.) i have gashes all over my forehead and other hidden parts of my body. i have three sets of stitches- one under my eye, one on the bridge of my nose, and one on the palm of hand from trying to block the swings.

up until last night, i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. i wanted his children, i would’ve done anything to keep him in my life. now i’m terrified of living my own life. i’m terrified of my reflection. i’m terrified of what he’s now going through. and i’m terrified of sleeping.

i wish i could have seen the signs.