DO YOU LOVE ME???

???: ...

FREDDY(?): ...Um...

FREDDY(?): Hhhhhhhhhhi? ...Are you going to hurt me..? I’d really uh, like it if you.. uh, didn’t. See, Freddy wouldn’t be very happy and we..-

???: What.

???: the FUCK? This was your big thing? Changing your eye color? That’s it???

FREDDY(?): What..?

???: That’s REALLY fucking lame, Freddy. Even for you.

FREDDY(?): Wait, Freddy? I’m not Freddy.

???: Of course you’re Freddy, who else would you be?

FREDDY(?): Fredrick. Fredrick Dean.

???: That’s. Literally Freddy, but longer.

FREDRICK: I know, it was so funny when he told me. What’s your name then, since I told you?

???: ...My name is too vampiric for you, the mere thought if it would make you shriek. Besides, names are unnecessary for someone akin to me, the-

FREDRICK: Ok, but what is it.

???: ...

???: ........Tyler.

FREDRICK: Nice to meet you, Tyler. Now.. Why were you trying to stab us?

TYLER: Us????

FREDRICK: Freddy and I.

TYLER: What??? But there’s only one of you I thought..

FREDRICK: No, it’s me and Freddy.

FREDRICK: ...Man this jacket’s hot...

TYLER: I’m confused. His blog has only ever showed him and his friends, surely if something was astray I would have picked up on it... Or at least one of my minions would have noticed...

FREDRICK: Freddy has a blog?

TYLER: That’s what you’re choosing to think about??

FREDRICK: Well, yes. Freddy said we aren’t allowed to have a phone in case someone found us online.

TYLER: Found??? You???

TYLER: I need to think, shut your fucking mouth for a minute, will you?

FREDRICK: Sorry.

FREDRICK: (Wow, he really does have a blog. Why didn’t he tell me about this?)

FREDRICK: (Maybe it’s super new and he was gonna tell me before Tyler threatened us?)

FREDRICK: (What would he even do with a blog...? I didn’t know he knew how to use phones..?)

TYLER: This doesn’t make sense, there’s been no paranormal activity in South Park for years...

FREDRICK: (Looks like he uses it to answer questions? I wonder if I can ask questions, too..?)

FREDRICK: Hey Tyler, can I ask questions on Freddy’s account?

TYLER: Do whatever the fuck you want with it, just keep your fucking mouth shut.

TYLER: ...Wait a second. That’s a good idea.

TYLER: Then maybe you can tell us what’s going on. Do it.

//who put the gdrc 

???: In fact... I think it should be happening right about...

???: Now.

FREDDY: ....

FREDDY: .....

???: But truly, am I the spider, or you?

???: You’ve found me out, no thanks to your own intellect. You can thank your little following. I’ve been waiting for this day, Freddy Dean. All the watching and waiting... you wouldn’t believe the difficulty I have following you. School hours are... difficult. Thankfully my minions of darkness are already on the inside.

FREDDY: (A seventh grader...!)

???: I figured we finally needed to... talk. Face to face.

FREDDY: ...But, the knife?

???: Self defense, in case you decide I’m... a problem. Teeth can only do so much, and I don’t quite feel like explaining the stains to anyone who asks.

???: Don’t look so mortified of me Dean, I don’t want your blood, I just have some.... questions.

FREDDY: This... really isn’t a good time for questions, see, I gotta get home, it’s way past my bedtime and-

???: What a coincidence. I was going to ask you about just that.

???: You tell so many stories of your house and your mom, all the escapades you have with her, making sweets and being the most perfect family.

???: And yet nobody has ever visited? Surely with your large mass of ‘friends’, you would surely be hanging out with somebody on the regular, no? Why is it that nobody has had time to visit?

FREDDY: Well... We’ve been busy unpacking! Mom doesn’t want the place to look dirty, and-

???: You’ve been here for how long? And you still somehow manage the time to make messes far superior than a box of toys?

FREDDY: I-

???: Shut the fuck up. I’m not done talking. It’s especially confusing for me, see, because...

???: I’ve watched you come here every night for the past week to this exact pond and sleep on the bench. Wouldn’t your mother want you home at night in a warm bed? Assuming of course... that there even is a home, or a mother to begin with.

???: Does your following know about this? I doubt it.

???: You’re a horrible liar, Freddy Dean. You just can’t keep your story straight, can you?

FREDDY: I...

???: How is it that so many children and adults can believe you? Can fall for your constantly changing tales? Mortals aren’t always so stupid, I know this from the kid in the orange coat. Surely someone could figure it out? That is of course...

???: If they were in their right mind.

FREDDY: ...What.. are you implying..?

???: I’m saying you’re not so innocent as you try to make yourself out to be. You seem to have a very strong.. influence over them... Even the Cartman boy...

FREDDY: Eric just... Needed to be nicer, that’s all...

???: Just him? It sure does seem like that whole elementary school is wrapped around your little finger. And from my... minions, a lot of the school seems to have a terrible case of... ‘pink eye’. It all rounds back to when you first got here, Dean.

FREDDY: I don’t have anything to do with that! I’d feel awful if I got them sick!

???: REALLY? Because it sure does all seem awfully fucking suspicious.

???: You know what’s more suspicious?

???: That every night after you fall asleep on that bench, you wake back up and start talking to yourself in third person, like you’re some... totally different fucking person.

???: “Oh Freddy, I’m so worried! Oh Freddy, what if they don’t like us? Oh Freddy, are you sure this is going to work??”

???: Or does your following not know about that one either?

???: Strangely enough, it always seems to happen at night once the moon is out. And would you just look at her tonight...

???: I’m sure they’ll all see what I’m talking about any second now. I don’t need this knife, look at yourself tremble. How pathetic. Why don’t you let us all see, hm? Show us the real Freddy.

FREDDY: Please- I need to go, I-

FREDDY: What?? A guy with a knife??? Oh man, that’s so scary...

FREDDY: GRR! Guys! I think I’m just getting so... fricking mad!! I’m sorry for the language I am just NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

FREDDY: Today has been SO BAD!!! First Kenny beats me up, I’m late to be going home mom is gonna be so mad, and now a guy with a knife!!! I hope he doesn’t see me...

FREDDY: Where could he be?? I don’t want him to hurt me... I want him to be my friend if anything, oh PLEASE be a nice guy who just so happens to have a knife.....

FREDDY: Wait, what’s that...?

-- MEANWHILE, ACROSS STARK’S POND --

???: Nice guy? I could almost consider it adorable. Almost. Anyways, back to you.

???: You mortals just do not know how to keep quiet, do you? You’ve startled it into a panic. Mortals are so easy to startle like that. Now it knows my whereabouts and this strike will be useless because of you.

???: Fucking hell.

???: Can’t you keep quiet? Your mouths shut? I’m doing this in your favor??

???: How stupid of you.

???: Seems the kid in the orange coat is the only one here who has some brains, aside from one of my fellow Vampire.. but I’m rambling.

???: I suppose it knows no better. Quite a foolish mistake, putting oneself out on the internet like that so blindly, making it out like you can’t be seen just because the devices are off. Like you’re so... innocent. No child in South Park, Colorado is that innocent. Doesn’t that spark your interest?

???: Of course it should, suspicious people have been shamed for even questioning the morality of it all. You should have seen the fat kid and booked it... Let me explain.

???: The coincidences of sudden positivity and talk of a ‘new kid’ have been all that’s been talked about. Even those of some adults are all about it. I knew something was wrong.

???: I’ve been tracking this... child. Following his day to day activities for quite some time now, planning and devising, as a true Vampire should. If I could just stay hidden for a moment more, you could all see what I’m talking about... But no, my work is wasted.

???: All thrown down the drain. Why? Do you care for the child..? Is that what it is?

???: If that’s the case I should have done this much sooner. It’s worse than I thought. If random strangers can pour undivided love and attention and care for... that, then we might as well all already be fucked.

???: Well, it hasn’t seen me yet, so maybe this can still work after all-

FREDDY: HEY!!! SCARY GUY WITH A KNIFE!!! MY NAME IS FREDDY DEAN AND I CAN HEAR YOU OVER THERE!!!!! You’re talking out loud to askers just like me! I know for fact that that is NOT quiet, buster!!! Stop hiding and come out!! And don’t stab me!!! Please? This coat is new!

???: ...

FREDDY: I CAN SEE YOU, COME OUT AND FACE ME!!!! Because I’m definitely not scared of YOU!!!

???: god.

???: fucking.

FREDDY: That’s.... uh.

FREDDY: A really specific question. What are the odds of that happening?

FREDDY: Not that I would complain! Butters is one of my bestest friends!! But I don’t know if mom would do that, because Butters has parents... I think they’d be really sad if he wasn’t their kid anymore. His mom and dad are really nice!

FREDDY: Snake?!