Joe

It has finally dawned on me

After all of this time that has melted by

What’s this empty feeling that’s been festering?

This everlasting knot in my stomach?

You don’t see me, you’ve never seen me

You’ve just been looking at me

And it makes me nauseous in my bones.

My Body Is Mine

It can be hard to remember

When I often feel worlds away from this body I’m in

The body that’s withering away, the body I don’t recognize, the body that is failing me.

But I won’t forget again

My Body Is Mine

For just one singular person I can put all of my trust into

To never worry about leaving myself vulnerable

To never again wonder what I did to not be worthy of respect or honesty in the eyes of every person I love

When did my voice stop being heard? Was I ever heard at all?

I feel like an injured deer searching desperately for a place to rest, a place to finally feel safe from predators and tend to my long festering wounds -

but no where is safe, really, and I know this.

It’s impossible to continue forward, but if I stop, I lose the fight.

And I’m ready to lose the fight. To do what animals do, accept my weakness, and find a sunny place to rest eternally, to finally depart to the only true safety any being will ever know.