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I am struggling so much right now and all I can think of is to vent I am sick of hiding my emotions I’m tired from acting high all the time when really I’m crumbling I’ve started drinking and having reckless sex to try and numb myself I’ve not taken any of my medication because I feel like it makes me too drowsy to function as a normal person I don’t want to hurt my family any more than I already have but I can feel something coming I can feel it burning up inside of me ready to erupt and cause a whole lot of shit I was in hospital for four months in total and it’s so fucking hard to readjust back to normal life I kind of wish I was still there That way I was safe and had constant support if I needed it I don’t know who I am or what I want My goals and aspirations change on a daily basis and it’s so exhausting trying to keep up with a mind filled with thoughts that don’t even feel like your own