I don't know what I'm doing

Every time we get to Bill’s town in game and see the parallel with Ellie and how they both let bitterness overtake them. We see them driven by loss. We believe that both have operated in pain and it has made them cold. The reality is that they loved hard. We see the scraps of Bill’s love through the lense of hurt and pain. The pushing away. He seems to parallel Joel in this moment. Yet, much like Ellie and Abby, they are two pendulums on different points of the same trajectory. Ellie and Bill grieve.

What is grief, if not love borne from loss?

Seeing how in part 2 the difference between the two parallels felt more like purpose, community, finding something worth fighting for changes a person helps them heal. Bill vs Joel: isolation vs finding community and purpose. Same as Abby vs Ellie. Finding purpose and family vs. pushing family away in pursuit of a singular focus. Joel and Abby find a way to heal. Ellie and Bill do not. Right away that is.

When we leave Bill in the game it always felt (to me at least) that he went back and either hung himself or recklessly endangered himself with the intent of getting bit. The person he loved had ran away from him and the bitterness he felt was from that. To find Frank not only still in town, but strung up, dead by his own hand. Must have been unbearable. That the pain of losing the person he loved most. Not only to death, but actively lost him while he was alive due to his own actions. Was enough to be the final nail in his coffin.

After this episode it feels like Bill’s town has always been a monument to love. To purpose. In spite of all that happened, in spite of all the pain of the world, love endured. There is still hope for Ellie.

There is purpose and healing to find.

Whatever happens to that farm, despite how empty it feels when we pan away from it. At the end of part 2 or the potential end of season 2. It remains a monument to love.

Whatever becomes of part 3, what story gets told, love is what guides it. In spite of all that pain. Love is there. Love remains. It is the light that keeps burning through the dark.

these physical manifestations

all we have are the stars overhead

stolen carbon that composes us

eons passed between our lips

in how many variations

Day One : Firsts of EllieDina Week 2022.

An exploration of the first meeting between Ellie and Dina as mentioned in the games deleted dialogue (below).

It's been about a 7 year writing hiatus so it's been really fun to get back into it with a writing challenge.😁

Day Two: Control of EllieDina Week 2022.

Day Three: Magic of EllieDina Week 2022

Day Four: Fall of EllieDina Week 2022.

Day Five: Old World of EllieDina Week 2022.

Dina has decided that tonight is the night that she tells her best friend that she has feelings for her. It's Friday night, she'd just won her basketball game, they're going to party, they're going to drink, they're going to dance, they're going to...not have things go to plan.

Day Six : Touch of EllieDina Week 2022

Day Seven: Discovery of EllieDina Week 2022.

elliedina week / day 7: discovery

JJ finds out Ellie left years ago, and she has to pick up the pieces.

EllieDina Week Day 7: Discovery

In her eyes I saw more than a monster in me

I found the person I could be

In her arms I found more than warmth

I found forgiveness

And in her lips I felt the love I imagined lost

And discovered I might deserve it

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Last of Us (Video Games) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us) Characters: Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina (The Last of Us) Additional Tags: happy touch day, have some smut, EllieDina Week (The Last of Us) Summary:

I feel calmer with her lying next to me. I want to do something nice for her…

On the way to Seattle, Ellie does something nice for Dina. A few nice things, actually.

elliedina week / day 5: old world

EllieDina Week Day 5: Old World

EllieDina Week Day 6: Touch

Today Dina said I’m out of touch with reality. After a while, I agreed with her. I was really being an idiot.

There are not many bars where we can go to be ourselves. I could get arrested for ‘impersonating a man’ or some bullshit like that. Yesterday Dina suggested we just go to her place today. Just the two of us. It’s unexpected because she likes dancing and she didn’t invite anyone else. ‘Won’t you miss your friends?’ I asked her. She shrugged and said next time we can invite some over and dance. I asked if she wanted me to bring my guitar and she agreed but more than anything she just wanted to be with me.

Alone.

I’m sweating and shaking as I write this. We have kissed but nothing more. I am even unsure if that kiss meant anything. Maybe it did. She asked me if I didn’t mind it was just us. I told her I don’t care. As long as I can be with Dina, I’ll take my chances. I didn’t tell her that though. I don’t want to get my hopes up but what if…?