your boy artie

I could stop, but I don’t know if I can.

You gonna play it like that? Okay. Just sayin, you betta not make me cry.

Apologies for my online absence.

Cortisone cream, aspirin (or aspirin paste), cool baths, ice compression packs, and lots of water should also be added to your regimen, Kurt. Also, French film marathon--prescribed by yours truly, friendly neighborhood Dr. Abrams. You can keep me updated on your healing progression via text, e-mail, or fax.

A bigger set of wheels do sound pretty awesome. Oh, come on! Who wouldn’t come to your parties? It’s a total no-brainer! Ooh, I can’t say no to cake.

Oh, you. Stop being so sweet.

You know it. I made it here as soon as the bell rang on Friday, but I’ve been severely delayed in making human contact due to the fact that it’s so hot outside. I can barely move a limb without feeling completely exhausted.

Not a problem. Guess who has got his own state-registered probationary Ohio driver's license and can now operate an automotive vehicle unsupervised with one non-familial passenger between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 a.m.? (...Me.) I'll come to you!!! Beep beep, y'all!

What is it like reaching the sweet sixteen?! Are you going to have a big party and arrive on an elephant?

It's amazing. I'm definitely feeling some new layers of superiority with age. As well as a bigger set of wheels! No, no. Though that would be awesome. I never throw parties for myself. I'm always too scared nobody would show up to it if I did. My mom did make me a cake though! There's still a few slices left if you're interested. The remaining letters say "rart".

Artie, you don’t have to pry me off anyone.

Hey. What you and Finn may or may not have going on is your business. So long as it doesn't cost me another Nationals trophy, or interfere with my Rachel face time, you don't gotta explain yourself to me.

Of course! I better be seeing tons of you this summer, Artie

That's a guarantee. I'll be prying you off of Finn at every opportunity I get. Get that body ready.