>:\/

Saying “I’m back on my bullshit” is funnier when you cycle through hyperfixations at random intervals because no one knows what bullshit you’re talking about unless you’ve made it obvious before or while saying it.

To be back on your bullshit you need to be off your bullshit ever. But I’m over here jumping from bullshit to bullshit like I’m playing some kind of platforming game. The only times I’m not on my bullshit are when I’ve fallen off the platforms and can’t get out of the lava to get back on my bullshit.

not now mom I have to see what my mutuals with masters degrees are blogging about on tumblr

can't read mlm fiction where they cheat on their wives/gfs bc the wanting to bludgeon both men to death gets in the way but i eat it up when lesbians use & betray the men in their lives #mydoublestandard

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

Jesus fuck I just hit Ellen the generous with my carr

do you still think i'm hot with this giant hole in my chest

My hate for the military vs my love for the 🫡 emoji

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

these days you cant even relate to morrissey because he was looking for a job and then he actually found one

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

the flat hand thing works, she’s correct

The flat hand thing is so correct, and I’ve thought about this clip like four times a week since i saw it like ten years ago. That is NOT a noise she intended to make