the icarian

“No, I wouldn’t keep you out there for long, but still! I’d fight anybody who went and switched this food to healthier ones.” She jokes and takes another bite of the next pizza slice in her hand, turning her head back to Lena as she stares, mouth falling open for a moment. “What?? I do-I don’t squeak! It’s just..complicated right now.” Kara explains and takes in a deep breath, really listening to Lena’s words already recalling someone else saying something similar to it before. “I just don’t want to make anything awkward, I think overthinking it all may just be making it worse.” She mumbles and hides her face in her hands for a moment before slowly nodding her head at the mention of the storm. “Yeah, I can’t blame work for being a bit harder then with everything that has been going on.” The next sentence makes her do a double take as she nearly chokes on the soda that she’s drinking, eyes widening. “You..my sister..I’m sorry, what? Oh, I was not expecting that one, er, okay..that’s interesting for sure, how did that even happen?”

     peter’s smile is bright as he sees lena and a laugh escapes him at his joke being confirmed to be true. ❝ wow- really ?? i mean, thanks- you’re my favourite, lena- well you’re the only lena i know but even if i knew another one you’d still be my favourite. ❞  the hug is a surprise but a good one and the young hero hugs her back with ease. aunt may isn’t here but he has a few strong women in his life to help him through it and he has never been more grateful. seeing lena kick off her heals, he kicks off his trainers so he can cross his legs on the couch. ❝ i have time- i’ve got a whole free period. it’s why i’m here, thought i’d come say hi while i had a couple hours to spare. ❞ he takes the burrito wrapped in tinfoil and holds it out to her. ❝ oh yeah, thanks so much for those by the way- you didn’t have to but i really appreciate them. i’ve never gotten gift baskets before, i didn’t really know what to do with them at first- i thought they got delivered to the wrong place but then i saw the card on them but yeah- thank you. you wrapped those ?? wow, i can’t even wrap- well anything. i once tried to wrap a coffee mug for aunt may and- well i ended up having to buy a gift bag and just throwing in the rapping flag. ❞

     peter had not planned to head to lena’s office today but upon seeing his free period on his schedule… well an idea came to mind. he stops by a food van, grabs a couple burritos and tries not to get too intimidated by the big ass skyscraper he’s about to enter. lena had the same work ethic as alex… that they rarely stopped working and so he wants to make sure she’s remembered to take a few minutes to eat. though he can’t really say anything since he seems to forget to function like a human most of the time. heading in, the guy at the front desk makes him wait before he’s cleared to go up and there’s momentary panic that he won’t he allowed. but he’s waved through and awkwardly standing in his jeans and graphic t-shirt surrounded by business people in suits as he stands in the elevator. when his floor arrives with a ding he sighs in relief and speed walks out of it and asks for the occasional directions to lena’s office. the woman at the desk outside says he can walk in but peter pauses, knocks a weird version of despacito on the door as warning before swinging it open. ❝ you’re favourite peter has arrived !!! unless you know like- a peter who’s a surgeon or something than he can totally take the fave roll but anyway- i brought burritos !!! i hope i’m not interrupting i just- thought you might be hungry. ❞ @youngestluthor

“I appreciate your kindness then because I definitely would have shut the door the moment that I saw kale salad in your hands.” She jokes with a warm laugh, taking the other soda with a muffled ‘thank you’ due to the pizza crust in her mouth. “Barry.” Kara confirms with her smile growing a bit more as a small squeak escapes her throat and she snorts. “W-What? I mean..we’re just friends right now, or at least I bet that he only thinks of me as that, I don’t know..I’m scared of ruining our friendship if I say anything so, maybe keeping my mouth shut is the better option??” She makes a face and hides her head in her hands before taking in a deep breath and looking back over at Lena. “Just busy with work then? That couldn’t be any different from back home, right?” Kara mumbles more towards herself, still unsure of why Alex was so distant, and why Lena seemed a bit..off. “If you say so.”

jason was just minding his own business until he saw someone tripping over that very obvious crack in the sidewalk. he winces slightly as he hears the loud curse word, already feeling sorry for the female who fell. cautiously, he walks over to see if he could give a hand or make what seems like a start of a bad day better for the other. however, he stops when the other looks up, obviously unhappy that someone had seen all of it unfold. jason doesn’t laugh at the other, instead he silently studies the other a bit before purposefully tripping himself  with an obnoxious && dramatic flair. he even makes a show of flipping himself over once he hits the ground, sprawling out like an eagle before turning his head up over to the other. “ well guess i’ll be down here with you to look mine. though i don’t think mine ever existed. so, you want a hand to look for yours then? ” 

“Good, I was going to say that I hope since you are my best friend that you would recall my love for food, especially this kind.” She responds with a laugh alongside Lena’s, starting to get up at her next question before Lena says that she’ll get it. “Yeah, I have some soda pop in the fridge on the right side of the door. Opening and closing her mouth for a second at the sudden questioning that she gets about her personal life since she had mentioned it, Kara just blinks and snorts. “Oh er, nothing is really going on around there, I actually ran into someone today, he’s called Barry, we’re close.” She muses, not being able to stop the smile that grows upon her lips as she looks down, but notices Lena’s nerves as she frowns softly and reaches out to put a hand upon the other’s for comfort. “Hey, you know that you can tell me anything that’s going on with you..right?” She states, the last word going more into a question because she trusted Lena and still thought that the other trusted her. “I’d be lying if I said that my life has been really spontaneous and eventful, it’s basically been almost the same thing everyday, although I haven’t hung out with my sister as much lately..that’s probably the weirdest thing, I think she’s avoiding me.”

“alright well then i’m definitely in.” barry stated as he looked over at her. “i was dealing with things in central city and i really would like to get back to that so i’ll do whatever i can to help.”

      alex knew that she would have to face this head on at one point or another, she just figured that she would have been more prepared when she did - unfortunately, that isn’t the case. the longer lena speaks the more alex realises she actually has no clue what she should do. she knows that she only really has two choices in this situation. she denies absolutely everything she may or may not feel, or she just accepts it with the idea that she would deal with the consequences when the time came. but - there’s always a but when it comes to alex - she doesn’t know if she would have the strength to do that. she hasn’t been able to since maggie.

“you being a luthor has absolutely nothing to do with this,” alex scrambles to her feet and faces the brunette. “you know that that has nothing to do with – god, lena. this – no, just no,” she shakes her head and moves her hands through the air, using her physicality to express her point even further. “i trust you, okay? kara trusts you - name and all, it’s just –” she can barely get her thoughts out when lena continues to talk. every single word cuts through alex like a knife to butter. a part of her wishes that the kiss had never happened, that alex had been left on her own so that any decision she made while fuelled by liquor, but on the other hand – god, she’s thought about it every single day since. all she can picture is how lena’s lips felt on her own, how it felt to be grabbed by the other and kissed hard. all she can picture is that moment - that one glorious moment that, for once, allowed alex to feel something that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

she felt… wanted.

“— i can’t ignore it,” she finally admits. she’s practically shaking at this point. so much so that she has to grab the back of her chair to steady herself. “you have – you have no idea how much i’ve been thinking about – about that,” she points at nothing, barely able to meet lena’s eyes. “i have no idea where we are, i don’t know how to get home, and i don’t know how i can look my sister in the eyes and tell her that we may never see national city again. i needed to focus on that, i need – i need – that’s what i was focusing on. i needed to figure that out and then you – you,” she finally looks up at lena and exhales slowly. “all i can see is my feelings for – my hard feelings – for you… my sister’s best friend,” she lifts her hands and runs them both through her short hair as she sinks back onto the table. “i. am. so. confused.”

            lena feels herself vibrating. it’s nervous energy and she quickly realizes how little she’s actually been nervous in her life. there was moving to national city and launching l-corp. testifying against her mother in court. and finally, confront alex after their kiss. a heat kiss that she can still close her eyes and feel. with a small smile, she curls her fingers into her palm again -- this time to stop her from reaching out and grabbing alex. because they are both idiots. it makes her feel better to know she’s not going to be push aside because of her last name. not that she really thought she would do that, but the self doubt lingers in the dark corners of her mind. 

“look, alex, i know that. i just... was tearing myself down. giving you an out if you really wanted it. whatever would make it easier if you want to reject me.” the words hurt her as she says them, but she stays steadfast. “i know.” it leaves her mouth in a rough -- jumbled up, but she’s sure alex gets her meaning. “i think i have a pretty good idea. there’s so much shit in my head these days, but my mind keeps going back to that. and how i might have fucked it up by kissing you back if it was a mistake. because we both are stupid and have been avoiding it.” she exhales trying to calm the shakiness she feels. 

      “hey – hey!” kristen jogs down the hall as she catches a swish of lena’s hair before it disappears around the corner. “are you, uh… are you heading out again? i figured i’d make some breakfast, but uh –” she waves a hand, quickly dismissing the idea before the other even has time to reply. “actually, it’s fine. i was just heading out myself, you know? gotta kick the ol’ noggin’ into gear,” she points at her head and switches weight from one foot to another. “sorry.”

STARTER FOR: @youngestluthor

              work. lena needs to get to work and go over all the data complied. it had been a week and finally the numbers were beginning to make sense. she thinks. she can’t be sure and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but it would be better than sulking. she’s halfway out the door when she hears kristen and she stops. the guilt flushes her body and she turns immediately. “hey. no, hey.” she holds up her hands to stop kristen from apologizing. “we talked about this, you never have to apologize to me. i need to apologize. i’ve been flaky. what are you going to make me?” she lifts an eyebrow as she ushers them both back towards the kitchen. “i can take the day off. being the boss has perks.” she kicks off her heels and sets about making coffee. “how’s the head?”

Turning back towards the other when she starts to tease her, Kara just points and pretends to glare. “No! Do not think about it.” She says before breaking out into a grin and running over to take the first potsticker, mumbling a little ‘thank you’ before skipping back to the other food. “I didn’t mean about the chaos going on, I meant more about work and personal life, but yeah, with the chaos, it has been..hectic and I have tried to figure out a way back but it hasn’t been an easy task.“ She admits and shakes her head, taking a bite of the pizza and raising her eyebrows a bit. "Er, no, no of course not, just wondering about a friend, for all I know I may be the one acting odd.” Kara jokes with a laugh.

   “i mean.” barry said as he looked over at her. he was pretty confused by the whole situation. all that he knew so far that the woman in front of him was friends with kara. “i’m a little confused but other than that i guess i’m on board.”

      lena’s actions are completely lost on alex over the course of the day. her focus is on the screen ahead of her, eyes only for the data over the course of the storm and the eight or so weeks of being in this strange place. she doesn’t even realise that the lab is emptying around her, the amount of bodies around her trickling down to one - till only lena luthor is left. it’s only when her name is said a second time that the agent’s attention is stolen from her current task. she swivels on the chair, confusion shifting her expression as it finally dawns on her that no one is left. she’s about to say that she’s not ignoring the other, that they’ve simply just had too much work to focus on anything else, but she doesn’t – she can’t. not when the kiss is mentioned.

“i – that’s not –” that’s not what, alex? not accurate? not what’s going on? she can’t say any of that because it’s true; alex danvers has been avoiding lena luthor. unsuccessfully, it seems. “what do you want me to say, lena?” she eventually asks, giving in to the fact that there’s no escape from the conversation. eventually, she’s going to have to face what she had done. may as well do it now. “i don’t – i don’t know what to say.”

          she knows she shouldn’t pry or force alex to talk about things. but she’s selfish -- she’s a luthor after all. maybe it would be best to shove it down and let it go, but lena can’t do that. it’s not the way she’s built. not since moving to national city. she wants to figure it out because at the very least she doesn’t want to lose a friend. not only is alex a brilliant mind, but she’s become a major part of her life. and lena hasn’t stopped thinking about the kiss and how the beer mixed with alex tasted. it’s fucking maddening. she exhales and blinks a few times. her fingers curl into her palm and she counts backwards from five. she’s sure her therapist calls them grounding techniques, but she can’t be bothered to really figure it out.

“you have been and that’s okay. i was too. but i can’t do it anymore. not when we have to work together.” among other things, but lena needs to find a way to build to that. she doesn’t want to scare the agent away. “i want you to be honest. if you regret it, i understand. i’m a luthor and everything.” she says the last bit with some self deprecation. it can’t be helped. “if you want us to forget about it, okay. i know you’ve got a lot on your plate, but i have a few things to say before you shut me out, okay?” she clears her throat again and uncurls her fingers. she presses her palms along her trousers until they feel dry. “i liked it. kissing you, i mean. and it’s not just because i haven’t been kissed in a while. it was because it was you. i like spending time with you. you’re smart. you keep up with me. you’re funny and caring. you carry a lot on your shoulders, but still keep looking out for everyone else. it makes me worry, but that’s not what we’re discussing right now. and for the first time in a long time, i want to be selfish. with you.” 

          a week. a whole fucking week alex has been avoiding her. the first few days, lena thought nothing of it. the two of them were both busy people. if it wasn’t something in the lab, it was something at the deo for alex -- especially after the freak storm. lex was back and lena had worn down the carpet in her office and personal living room. but a whole week and she felt like she was slowly losing her sanity. the kiss still hangs in the air between them. sharing a workspace has become uncomfortable almost. other lab employees tend to avoid the two of them together and she wonders if she’s truly soured. she finds herself snapping at the tiniest of things. maybe it was lex or maybe it was the unresolved words and emotions floating between her and the eldest danvers. sara told her to be brave and fuck if lena wasn’t going to try. 

      “for good reason,” oliver chimes in. then again, this collision - or whatever it is they’re calling it these days - has granted oliver freedom from behind bars, it’s safe to assume that that it’s also a possibility when it comes to the other luthor. god knows what would happen if lex is released in a city filled with the very people he attempted to eradicate. “— and what makes you think that i have any interest in listening to what a luthor has to say?” the eldest queen lifts a brow. “better yet, why should i even trust you?” he’s not exactly known for being a saint himself, but that doesn’t really matter in his eyes. oliver queen is a hypocrite, and has absolutely no problem in ignoring this face. “give me one good reason why i should work with you.”

Laughing softly at the sight of her best friend with her two favourite foods practically blocking Lena from Kara’s sight, she lets her into her place, shaking her head a little. “Aw, you don’t have to bribe me to spend time with me, Lena.” Kara points out and takes the bag of potstickers, setting them quickly to the side before also taking the pizza to put on the nearby table. “But thank you for this anyways, I’m starving.” She admits, already putting two pieces of pizza on her own plate, grabbing another plate for Lena. “I’ve been good, just busy with work and things, but are you okay? You seem..a little nervous about something.”