briars' simp

*SPOILERS UP TO MANGA CH 71*

You can't tell me a woman who a) has raised a child from the age of 5 and b) can treat a freaking bullet wound doesn't know cpr. Whether or not she causes mild to severe rib damage in the process is besides the point.

If u accept requests could u plz draw Loid secretly spying on Anya on her date with Damian seeing if he is a good bf or not

One of the best moments in the Stella Lake chapter is when Damian finally lets himself enjoy the moment and bask in the vastness of the universe and the company of friends who anchor us - and just laugh. Because you suddenly realise, we’ve never actually seen Damian smile that wide and laugh that freely.

Unlike Anya. That little girl smiles and laughs all day, every day, except maybe when papa makes her do her homework or mama makes her eat her veggies.

And it’s because Anya wants to smile and laugh. She has found happiness with the Forgers, and after what she’s been through, being adopted and in-adopted by various families, she’s going to make sure she takes in every moment of joy. And it’s also because she can. Twilight and Yor (and Franky and Handler and Henderson etc) all work their hardest to make sure Anya and the next generation can have that carefree childhood, and every giggle from Anya is a celebration of these adults’ love and care.

Which brings us back to Damian. He often walks around Eden with a perpetual scowl, or a I-am-better-than-you look. It’s not his fault, he was just raised this way. And he seldom smiles or laughs with wild abandon… it’s not his fault either, he was raised this way.

Unlike Anya, Damian feels little he has little reason to laugh and smile. His family seem to not entirely care about him, and the path to earn his father’s validation - which Damian knows won’t make any difference anyway - involves backbreaking work to earn stellas. Like Twilight, the little boy doesn’t necessarily believe he has time for the luxury of joy, or that he even deserves it.

And also, because Damian can’t - that is, not until Henderson and Mr Green stepped in in this chapter to give the boy a taste of a happy childhood spent playing with one’s friends in the wide world out there. Damian can’t smile and laugh because his parents don’t seem to have built an environment for him to just be a boy. Donovan insists Damian not sully their family name, leading Damian to think waaaaay ahead and believe he must act like A Man. He is a Desmond, and will be a politician, and will lead his country to greatness, because his father did so… No one apart from Henderson has told Damian that he’s just a boy with lots to learn, and that he doesn’t have to let his and his family’s towering ambitions crush him and his childhood innocence.

I want Damian to be able to smile and laugh more. I like to think with the kind teachers at Eden looking after the boy, and Yor and Twilight seemingly, somehow, drawn into his orbit, as well as his realisation that Becky and Anya are now also his friends, he can and will 😊

Yor : You know, Anya, my mother once taught me to kiss a wound so it will heal faster ^^

Loid : /overhears/

Loid :

Loid : Frankie.

Loid : I want you to punch me in the face. As hard as you can.

to this

Damian's perspective of a crying Anya is increasing un-shoujo-filtered and ✨💕

... and increasingly snot-filled and messy. And honestly, good for him. It's growth.

Seeing people as they truly are - their real, honest selves - and accepting them for it is what the best relationships are based on.

He won't even look Anya in the eye later

BUT THE WORST THING IS

He's kind of right. Maybe Anya doesn't want her father to get political leverage, but she really isn't that interested in being Damian's friend other than to help Loid. Is not precisely the same, but she's still using him. When Anya thinks about him, he looks all derpy and not important

*MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD*

No, agreed. It makes sense too - Damian is seeing an Anya who’s genuinely grateful and happy he cares for her, instead of the Anya in his head who’s cute and timid and cute. Important, because they are both honest with each other probably for the first time ever - Damian apologises to Anya for being a dick at times - and so see each other as their true selves. It is adorable and speaks volumes about how their friendship has blossomed.

There are already several notes in the inbox about Melinda, so let's get right to it.

We now know, without a doubt, that she actually cares a lot for Damian. The panic she shows is real, especially since this panel comes right after we find out Twilight has in fact, rushed back to Berlint, and also Yor running to the scene. Their parental concern is real, and so is Melinda's.

Which is what makes her thoughts that Anya reads later on so... interesting. Anya compares Melinda to uncle Yuri, and I think it's not so much because he's a weird little dude working secretly as a secret policeman but because of this - his mind is a wall of thoughts about his sister and how much he loves her. The feelings are genuine, just extreme and a bit overwhelming.

And so we get to the final panels, where we see Melinda's love for Damian contend with her contempt for him. She wishes he'd died in the hijacking. She thinks she is 'burdened' with her son. She calls him her 'curse'. She hopes he doesn't have to stay with her for long (the kids all got home passes after the incident.) She feels disgust for her son... And more important, she doesn't want Damian to let Donovan know she's been there. What's going on?

I have a theory.

First thing. We know from the series that there's quite a bit of an age gap between Damian and Demmy. Demmy sounds older, he's been at Eden long enough to get 8 Stellas, he's never seen in the primary school section of Eden, his handwriting isn't that of a 6 year old, his history test paper looks advanced etc.

Second thing. With Melinda's insistence that Damian not tell his father about being there to see him, it gives us a slightly different interpretation of her scenes earlier in the series with Yor. Melinda doesn't want to talk about Damian. She doesn't want people to think she cares. If others think she's hands-off, good.

Or at least, she doesn't want to talk about Damian in public. Not with people who theoretically know her well. But when she's alone with Yor, Melinda does want to talk about Damian - she's the one who brings him up. She also lets slip that she has in fact been keeping informed of her son.

Third thing. Well, as I noted at the start of this post, it can't be doubted now that Melinda loves her son, a lot. She isn't as hands-off as others think she is. Like all the other parents, she rushed to her son with worry in her eyes and panic in her voice.

My interpretation is... Melinda loves Damian, but because of that, she cannot leave Donovan, or their marriage, or the Desmond household. She is held hostage because she loves. She wants to escape, but she can't. That's why she calls Damian her curse, her burden. He is the baby who arrived (relatively) recently who his husband can use as leverage, even as Demmy is becoming old enough that the eldest son can't be used as a bargaining chip any more. She continues to be a prisoner because part of her soul is in the prison with her.

And so, like Twilight, she tries to keep herself detached from her own child. She has to convince herself she does not love him. She does not want to care. She does not want him to stay with her long because it would mean getting attached. If Damian had died, she thinks she could be free. She wants to be a bad mother, cold to her son, cruel to her own flesh and blood, because if she allows herself to be a good mother, she would never be able to leave him behind. And she wants to leave...

I think it fits in with the little clues we've gotten along the way and fits in with the series' themes about lies and love. She doesn't want to let known in public she cares about Damian, because it would get back to Donovan. She doesn't want Damian to tell his father, because it would give Desmond only more leverage. She wants to hate her child, because she loves him too much.