aaaaarg (relapsed 8/8/21)

i actually moved to edtwt cuz tumblr killed the tags here and no one was interesting anyway

i’m not active here because i’m just active on a discord server instead lol

i hated you december

i’m in an ED discord and it’s nice to have support but that’s something that’s going to end up weighing on my conscience once i have to recover

i’m sad about having to throw away all the christmas sweets i’m getting but i rlly rlly have to :[

so miserable how i’m not eating any christmas sweets, what a pathetic thing i am

feeling soooooo suicidal today 😇 obviously won’t do it but jesus christ

ate a bowl of banana and apple slices (200cal) after a 72 hour fast and i cannot exaggerate it was glorious and i don’t even feel like eating anymore

o ya 103.4, i ate at maintenance on tuesday but i haven’t eaten since then. i’m at home and i haven’t eaten yet… i plan to start throwing stuff out if it’s made for me but honestly most of the time i can get away with saying i’m gonna make something in the air fryer … blahhhh.

sorry literally refuse to weigh myself until i poop LOL

today was hard but i got through all my eating urges and didn’t eat today!!!

on one hand a bitch (me) goes days on days of eating either nothing or only one thing but on the other hand i can TELL U pre relapse me did NOT sit there and eat a whole box of cheerios LOL!!!!!!! my only saving grace here is knowing every time i overeat (first of all i didn’t even eat to my TDEE today soooo) it gives me a good energy boost and i always end up at a new low afterward. going to fast for hopefully the next 2 or 3 days i feel pretty confident! i needed the boost to get through another long fast

103.8 womp

i’ve lost 30 lbs since august damn

OOGH… 104.8 lbs

btw i had put on a few lbs from a terrible binge before my tattoo because i was scared i’d faint but i haven’t eaten since then (thursday) so i got back down to my LW