Blue

Captain Hook X Female! Reader

A Peter Pan Fanfiction

~Chapter Two: In the Captain’s Quarters~

“You had better say something to him, lass.” One of the crew members, Mr. Shane, said as he held his sword up to your throat while the moon began to rise into the night sky.

You stared at him unamused as he kept talking. “We be rotting away on this ship, stuck on this miserable island! We want to put to sea, loot ships, drink at bars, slit throats.”

“And you think I’d be able to convince him to put to sea?”

“You do keep his bed warm.” Mr. Shane smirked at you lewdly. “Why, I’m sure you could get him to say yes to anything with that mouth of yours.”

Your face turned red and you rolled your eyes, turning your head to the side. “The captain is quite stubborn. He’s made it very clear we’re not leaving until Pan is dead.”

Annoyed by your answer, Mr. Shane grit his teeth and pressed the sword against your throat with more pressure. “You will talk to him, wench.”

You pushed his sword away. “I will not. You don’t frighten me. You won’t do anything dangerous because you know Hook will-“

“Ahoy! Ahoy!” You stopped talking when you heard Mr. Smee’s voice in the water below.

Mr. Shane backed away as you grabbed a lantern and peered over the railing. “Smee?!”

“Down here!” Smee yelled.

You looked down at the water and saw the tender Hook and Smee had taken to head to shore, Smee, and Hook. Except Hook’s clothes were soaked and torn to shreds, his wet hair was sticking to his face and his neck, and he was shivering.

You gasped and immediately set the lantern aside to toss the ropes Smee had used to lower the tender into the water earlier that afternoon.

Once Smee had attached the ropes to the tender, you began pulling on the ropes. “The Captain’s down there, you morons!” You yelled at the rest of crew. “Help me lift him up!”

The crew groaned, but since they were still loyal enough to Captain Hook to stay on his ship, they decided to help you pull the tender up on board.

Once the tender was safely docked back on board, the rest of crew backed off as you and Smee walked Hook inside his quarters.

“D-Don’t worry, Cap’n! I’ll get you some hot water and a cloth for your head!” Smee said before rushing out of the room.

You sat Hook down in his throne and gently peeled off his wet shreds of clothing. “You poor dear, what happened?”

“Do not pity me, woman.” He hissed. But his anger was not directed at you, you knew that. “I was attacked by that wretched crocodile, all because of Peter Pan.”

“I can see that.” You said as gave him a towel to dry off and cover up his cold naked body.

“I hate that boy. More than I hate that reptile. More than I hate cephalopods. More than I’ve ever hated anything!” Hook growled before slamming his hook into the wood of his throne, the sound making him wince because of his headache.

“I know, James. One day, one day that boy will get what he deserves.” You said as you set a fresh set of clothes on the desk in front of him.

“Thank you, me dear…” Hook sighed as he set his hand on his forehead, cooperating as you dressed him.

You finished tying Hook’s belt around his waist as Smee walked back in with a warm wet cloth, a large bucket, and a kettle.

“Here, Cap’n.” Smee said as he handed you the cloth while he poured the water from the kettle into the bucket. You gently set the cloth on Hook’s forehead as Smee lifted his legs and set them into the water.

Hook let out a small sigh, content.

“Don’t worry Cap’n. I’ll make sure no one disturbs ya until ya feel like a pile of gold!” Smee walked out of the room and closed the door.

You took the wet towel off Hook’s shoulders and replaced it with the blanket from his bed. “This feels familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?” Hook asked with his eyes closed as you put the blanket around his shoulders.

“Aye.” You smiled and pulled up a chair to sit beside him. “Reminds me of the night we met.”

Hook started to smile. “I suppose it is familiar.”

You smiled at him as he opened his eyes to look at you. “Are you getting sappy with me, poppet?”

“No.” You smiled, knowing you most definitely were.

Hook leaned back and adjusted the cloth with a small laugh.

He noticed you staring at him and smirked. “What is it?”

“You know what.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it.”

You smiled and leaned your head into your hands. “I just like looking at the most handsome buccaneer in all of the seven seas.”

Hook grabbed at you with a chuckle and hoisted you onto his lap, carefully angling his hook so it wouldn’t accidentally hurt you.

“And you, me dear, are me greatest treasure.”

You gently moved his black curls out of his face with a smile. “After we catch Peter, how would you like a new rug for our quarters? One made of say, crocodile skin?”

Hook smiled mischievously. “I would reward you most intimately for such a gift.” He chuckled, leaning into your face. But just as he was about to kiss you, he turned away and let out a loud sneeze.

“Oh…my head…” He groaned as you gently pressed the cloth back into place.

Before either of you could say anything more, someone had started loudly banging on the door. With a quiet groan, you got off Hook’s lap and marched towards the door as Hook winced with each bang.

You opened the door as Smee was swinging a hammer down, but instead of hitting the door, he hit your hand instead.

You let out a yell and yanked your hand back, rubbing it furiously. “Smee!”

“Careful, Smee!” Hook yelled.

“Terribly sorry! Terribly sorry!” Smee stammered as he set the hammer down and picked up a kettle. “Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?”

“Oooh…I’m alright. Thank you for your apology.” You said, walking over to Hook’s throne as you tried to shake the pain out of your hand.

Smee started talking as he took the cloth off Hook’s forehead and checked the temperature of the water, but neither you nor Hook were listening as Hook lifted your hand with his hook. “Nothing’s broken, is it?”

“I don’t believe so.”

Hook nodded and made sure none of the rest of the crew was watching before he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the area Smee hammered on.

“Thank you.” You whispered as Hook pulled away and leaned back into his chair.

“-that Pan has banished Tinkerbell-“ Smee said as he poured the water into the bucket but was quickly cut off when Hook yanked his feet out of the water. “WOAH! TOO HOT!”

You and Smee both jumped back as Hook stood up and raised his hook to Smee. “Why you doddering imbecile-!…did you say Pan has banished Tinkerbell?”

“Aye aye, Cap’n!” Smee said, backing up. “That he has.”

“But why?” You asked as Hook stood up straight and paced around the room.

“On account of Wendy! Tink tried to do her in, she did! Tink’s terribly jealous.”

“Well well…” Hook said as he paused his pacing and rubbed his hook with a small smile.

“Who’s Wendy? A new child Peter brought onto the island?”

Smee nodded. “This is exactly why I think we should leave, this ain’t no place for a respectable pirate.” He said, putting his hands on his hips.

“THAT’S IT, SMEE! THAT’S IT!” Hook exclaimed excitedly as he slapped Smee on the back, accidentally knocking him down.

“I-I’m glad you agrees, Cap’n!” Smee laughed.

“Quickly, poppet! Me coat, me best dress coat!” Hook said as he shrugged the blanket off.

“W-What? We’re leaving? Just like that?” You asked as you grabbed his finest dress coat from his closet and helped it onto his shoulders while Smee set his shoes by the door.

“Of course not, me dear!” Hook laughed. “Oh yes, a jealous female can be tricked into anything.”

He buttoned up his coat as he stood in front of the mirror and flipped his hair over his shoulder. “My case of hooks!” He ordered at Mr. Smee.

“I don’t understand, what’s your plan?” You asked as he unscrewed his hook from the prosthetic metal cover.

“Your case of hooks, sir! Your Sunday set, sir!” Smee said, opening the case to Hook as he tossed his hook to some random corner of the room.

“You see, me dear.” Hook explained while tightening a golden hook into the small hole of the cover. “If we convince the pixie were eager to help her, the wench may chart our course to a ‘certain hiding place’.”

You made an “ohh” sound as he winked at you, knowing you understood.

Smee, who wasn’t really listening, started to leave the room. “The best hiding place is the Spanish Mine sir! I’ll set our course for-“

“And where do you think you are going?” Hook asked as he reached out and used his hook to prevent Smee from leaving.

“T-To tell the boys we set sail for the tide?”

Hook wagged his finger at Smee and smiled as you moved up beside him. “You will go ashore, pick up Tinkerbell, and bring her to me.”

He hroughly removed his hook from Smee’s shirt. “UNDERSTAND?!” He yelled.

“Aye aye, sir!” Smee said, rushing out of the room and heading to one of the tenders.

Hook closed the door after him and turned to you. “Now, before Smee returns, I’d like to finish where we had left off.”

You smiled and set your hands on his chest as his hook pressed into your back while his normal hand cupped your face. “I would enjoy that very much.”

<- Chapter One

[I hope you enjoyed this chapter!]

Captain Hook X Female! Reader

A Peter Pan Fanfiction

~Chapter Two: In the Captain’s Quarters~

“You had better say something to him, lass.” One of the crew members, Mr. Shane, said as he held his sword up to your throat while the moon began to rise into the night sky.

You stared at him unamused as he kept talking. “We be rotting away on this ship, stuck on this miserable island! We want to put to sea, loot ships, drink at bars, slit throats.”

“And you think I’d be able to convince him to put to sea?”

“You do keep his bed warm.” Mr. Shane smirked at you lewdly. “Why, I’m sure you could get him to say yes to anything with that mouth of yours.”

Your face turned red and you rolled your eyes, turning your head to the side. “The captain is quite stubborn. He’s made it very clear we’re not leaving until Pan is dead.”

Annoyed by your answer, Mr. Shane grit his teeth and pressed the sword against your throat with more pressure. “You will talk to him, wench.”

You pushed his sword away. “I will not. You don’t frighten me. You won’t do anything dangerous because you know Hook will-“

“Ahoy! Ahoy!” You stopped talking when you heard Mr. Smee’s voice in the water below.

Mr. Shane backed away as you grabbed a lantern and peered over the railing. “Smee?!”

“Down here!” Smee yelled.

You looked down at the water and saw the tender Hook and Smee had taken to head to shore, Smee, and Hook. Except Hook’s clothes were soaked and torn to shreds, his wet hair was sticking to his face and his neck, and he was shivering.

You gasped and immediately set the lantern aside to toss the ropes Smee had used to lower the tender into the water earlier that afternoon.

Once Smee had attached the ropes to the tender, you began pulling on the ropes. “The Captain’s down there, you morons!” You yelled at the rest of crew. “Help me lift him up!”

The crew groaned, but since they were still loyal enough to Captain Hook to stay on his ship, they decided to help you pull the tender up on board.

Once the tender was safely docked back on board, the rest of crew backed off as you and Smee walked Hook inside his quarters.

“D-Don’t worry, Cap’n! I’ll get you some hot water and a cloth for your head!” Smee said before rushing out of the room.

You sat Hook down in his throne and gently peeled off his wet shreds of clothing. “You poor dear, what happened?”

“Do not pity me, woman.” He hissed. But his anger was not directed at you, you knew that. “I was attacked by that wretched crocodile, all because of Peter Pan.”

“I can see that.” You said as gave him a towel to dry off and cover up his cold naked body.

“I hate that boy. More than I hate that reptile. More than I hate cephalopods. More than I’ve ever hated anything!” Hook growled before slamming his hook into the wood of his throne, the sound making him wince because of his headache.

“I know, James. One day, one day that boy will get what he deserves.” You said as you set a fresh set of clothes on the desk in front of him.

“Thank you, me dear…” Hook sighed as he set his hand on his forehead, cooperating as you dressed him.

You finished tying Hook’s belt around his waist as Smee walked back in with a warm wet cloth, a large bucket, and a kettle.

“Here, Cap’n.” Smee said as he handed you the cloth while he poured the water from the kettle into the bucket. You gently set the cloth on Hook’s forehead as Smee lifted his legs and set them into the water.

Hook let out a small sigh, content.

“Don’t worry Cap’n. I’ll make sure no one disturbs ya until ya feel like a pile of gold!” Smee walked out of the room and closed the door.

You took the wet towel off Hook’s shoulders and replaced it with the blanket from his bed. “This feels familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?” Hook asked with his eyes closed as you put the blanket around his shoulders.

“Aye.” You smiled and pulled up a chair to sit beside him. “Reminds me of the night we met.”

Hook started to smile. “I suppose it is familiar.”

You smiled at him as he opened his eyes to look at you. “Are you getting sappy with me, poppet?”

“No.” You smiled, knowing you most definitely were.

Hook leaned back and adjusted the cloth with a small laugh.

He noticed you staring at him and smirked. “What is it?”

“You know what.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it.”

You smiled and leaned your head into your hands. “I just like looking at the most handsome buccaneer in all of the seven seas.”

Hook grabbed at you with a chuckle and hoisted you onto his lap, carefully angling his hook so it wouldn’t accidentally hurt you.

“And you, me dear, are me greatest treasure.”

You gently moved his black curls out of his face with a smile. “After we catch Peter, how would you like a new rug for our quarters? One made of say, crocodile skin?”

Hook smiled mischievously. “I would reward you most intimately for such a gift.” He chuckled, leaning into your face. But just as he was about to kiss you, he turned away and let out a loud sneeze.

“Oh…my head…” He groaned as you gently pressed the cloth back into place.

Before either of you could say anything more, someone had started loudly banging on the door. With a quiet groan, you got off Hook’s lap and marched towards the door as Hook winced with each bang.

You opened the door as Smee was swinging a hammer down, but instead of hitting the door, he hit your hand instead.

You let out a yell and yanked your hand back, rubbing it furiously. “Smee!”

“Careful, Smee!” Hook yelled.

“Terribly sorry! Terribly sorry!” Smee stammered as he set the hammer down and picked up a kettle. “Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?”

“Oooh…I’m alright. Thank you for your apology.” You said, walking over to Hook’s throne as you tried to shake the pain out of your hand.

Smee started talking as he took the cloth off Hook’s forehead and checked the temperature of the water, but neither you nor Hook were listening as Hook lifted your hand with his hook. “Nothing’s broken, is it?”

“I don’t believe so.”

Hook nodded and made sure none of the rest of the crew was watching before he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the area Smee hammered on.

“Thank you.” You whispered as Hook pulled away and leaned back into his chair.

“-that Pan has banished Tinkerbell-“ Smee said as he poured the water into the bucket but was quickly cut off when Hook yanked his feet out of the water. “WOAH! TOO HOT!”

You and Smee both jumped back as Hook stood up and raised his hook to Smee. “Why you doddering imbecile-!…did you say Pan has banished Tinkerbell?”

“Aye aye, Cap’n!” Smee said, backing up. “That he has.”

“But why?” You asked as Hook stood up straight and paced around the room.

“On account of Wendy! Tink tried to do her in, she did! Tink’s terribly jealous.”

“Well well…” Hook said as he paused his pacing and rubbed his hook with a small smile.

“Who’s Wendy? A new child Peter brought onto the island?”

Smee nodded. “This is exactly why I think we should leave, this ain’t no place for a respectable pirate.” He said, putting his hands on his hips.

“THAT’S IT, SMEE! THAT’S IT!” Hook exclaimed excitedly as he slapped Smee on the back, accidentally knocking him down.

“I-I’m glad you agrees, Cap’n!” Smee laughed.

“Quickly, poppet! Me coat, me best dress coat!” Hook said as he shrugged the blanket off.

“W-What? We’re leaving? Just like that?” You asked as you grabbed his finest dress coat from his closet and helped it onto his shoulders while Smee set his shoes by the door.

“Of course not, me dear!” Hook laughed. “Oh yes, a jealous female can be tricked into anything.”

He buttoned up his coat as he stood in front of the mirror and flipped his hair over his shoulder. “My case of hooks!” He ordered at Mr. Smee.

“I don’t understand, what’s your plan?” You asked as he unscrewed his hook from the prosthetic metal cover.

“Your case of hooks, sir! Your Sunday set, sir!” Smee said, opening the case to Hook as he tossed his hook to some random corner of the room.

“You see, me dear.” Hook explained while tightening a golden hook into the small hole of the cover. “If we convince the pixie were eager to help her, the wench may chart our course to a ‘certain hiding place’.”

You made an “ohh” sound as he winked at you, knowing you understood.

Smee, who wasn’t really listening, started to leave the room. “The best hiding place is the Spanish Mine sir! I’ll set our course for-“

“And where do you think you are going?” Hook asked as he reached out and used his hook to prevent Smee from leaving.

“T-To tell the boys we set sail for the tide?”

Hook wagged his finger at Smee and smiled as you moved up beside him. “You will go ashore, pick up Tinkerbell, and bring her to me.”

He hroughly removed his hook from Smee’s shirt. “UNDERSTAND?!” He yelled.

“Aye aye, sir!” Smee said, rushing out of the room and heading to one of the tenders.

Hook closed the door after him and turned to you. “Now, before Smee returns, I’d like to finish where we had left off.”

You smiled and set your hands on his chest as his hook pressed into your back while his normal hand cupped your face. “I would enjoy that very much.”

<- Chapter One

[I hope you enjoyed this chapter!]

Captain Hook X Female! Reader

A Peter Pan Fanfiction

~Chapter One: The Crew of Captain Hook~

“BLAST that Peter Pan!” Your captain shouted as he slammed his hand on the desk before bringing it and his hook in the air out of the frustration.

Startled by his sudden shout, you turned your attention away from the shore you were keeping an eye on and turned towards him.

You watched as he mumbled to himself, dragging his fingers across the parchment that laid across his desk while he smoked cigars from a unique cigar holder he stole from royalty years ago.

His hook dug into the wood of the desk as he blew rings of smoke out of his mouth, still muttering.

Your captain, Captain James Hook, had become completely obsessed with getting his revenge on Peter Pan. Peter was a flying 12 year old who befriended pixies and other children he brought onto the island of Neverland.

The reason Hook wanted revenge was because after the crew had anchored to the island, Peter Pan had “pranked” him by cutting off his hand and feeding it to a crocodile; who now followed him everywhere, trying to eat the rest of him. And now he has a hook to replace his missing hand. Ironic because of his last name.

So, of course, because he lost his hand, his pride was wounded, and he was in constant paranoia. He vowed to stay on the island until “the flying devil” was dead.

“Captain?” You asked as you walked over to his desk as he continued to mumble to himself.

Just as you were right behind him, he slammed his hook down on the Indian tribes on his map. “HERE!” He yelled, startling you and making you back away from him.

“No! No no no!” He huffed as pushed himself out of his seat, storming past you so he could pace. “That’s Indian territory…”

“But wait…” He twirled the cigar holder between his fingers as he sat down. “Those red skins know this island better than I do me own ship…I wonder…”

“Captain.” You repeated, trying to get his attention as Mr. Smee, Hook’s first mate, walked up the stairs with a tray full of shaving tools.

“Good morning Cap’n!” Smee giggled.

“I’VE GOT IT!” Hook yelled, swinging his hook past you and into Smee’s shirt, bringing him up to eye level. “Tigerlily, Smee!”

“Tigerlily?” You and Smee asked simultaneously.

“Don’t you see?” He said, throwing Smee to the ground and removing his hook from his shirt as he turned towards you. “The chief’s daughter would most definitely know where Peter Pan is hiding, my dear!” He grinned as he sat back down in his throne.

“B-But will she talk, Cap’n?” Smee asked, biting his nails as you came up beside Hook’s right side.

“Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.” Hook smirked as he used his hook to scratch the stubble on his chin.

“Now let me see.” He said excitedly as he twirled the cigar holder between his fingers.

“Boiling in oil…keel-hauling…marooning.” Hook turned to you as Smee started cleaning the utensils he brought up with him. “Any ideas, poppet?”

“Well, you wouldn’t want to accidentally kill her while you’re trying to get information out of her.” You said, leaning up against his desk. “Marooning is probably the least brutal but still a big enough threat to get her to talk.”

Hook hummed and played with his mustache. “Perhaps we could bring her to skull rock, far away from her tribe.”

But before he could continue speaking, another crew mate who was sitting up on the mast of the sails started singing about a pirate’s life a little too loudly.

Annoyed at his noise, Hook pulled his gun out of his trench coat and shot him without a second glance, sending him into the sea below.

“Now let me see, where were we?” Hook asked after blowing the smoke out of his gun and setting it on his desk.

“Planning to maroon Tigerlily.” You said, rubbing your ringing ear as Hook brought his cigar holder up to his mouth again.

“Oh dear dear dear Captain Hook, shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza.” Smee giggled. “It ain’t good form, you know?” He said as you stood up straight.

Irritated at Smee’s words, he glared at nothing in particular before setting his cigar holder on the desk slowly. “Good form, Mr. Smee?” He asked with an annoyed smile.

“BLAST GOOD FORM!” He yelled, flipping the desk and his chair, startling you as he stomped over to where Smee was standing while waving his hook. “Did Pan show good form when he did THIS to me?!” He yelled, shoving his hook in Smee’s face when he cornered him asking the wooden railing of the ship.

Smee giggled as Hook backed off and turned around in front of you, expecting you to remove his coat. “Why Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.”

“Aye!” He shouted, shrugging his coat off as it fell into your hands. “But throwing it to the crocodile…!” He trailed off, raising his hook in the air as you folded his coat on his desk.

“That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well, he followed me ever since!” He walked over to the chair Smee had leaned up against the wooden railing so he could shave Hook’s face.

“Licking his chops for the rest of me…” He cried dramatically as he plopped down into the chair.

“You would have been long gone by now, Cap’n. If he hadn’t swallowed that alarm clock.” Smee chuckled as he draped a small rag over Hook’s chest. “But now when he’s about, he warns ya as you might say. With he’s constant ticking.”

You stood beside Hook’s chair as Smee started to whip up some homemade shaving cream. “You know Captain, I overheard some of the crew complaining this morning. They’re restless, eager to put to sea. They-“

You stopped talking when you heard a distant ticking noise.

All three of you stopped and Hook’s eyes widened in fear as he slowly turned to look over the railing.

And there it was. A large green crocodile who slowly swam around the boat until he stood up on a rock, purposefully making himself known to frighten Hook.

Hook jumped up out of his seat and ran to the other side of the deck. “GET IT OUT OF HERE! GET IT AWAY!” He yelled, his hand shaking as he pointed to where he saw the crocodile.

You rushed over to rub Hook’s arms, trying to calm him as Smee tried shooing the reptile away. “James! James, it’s okay! As long as you’re on the ship, you’re fine!”

Hook only started to calm down once the ticking started to fade. “Is it gone, Smee…?”

“Aye! All gone, Captain.” Smee smiled, wiping the dust off his hands.

“I can’t stand it any longer, I tell you I can’t!” He mumbled into his hands and hook as he slid down the railing to the deck floor.

“Captain, it’s okay. He’s gone.” You said as you pulled him up to his feet and sat him back down in the chair.

Hook trembled in his chair until Smee put a warm towel over his face and he relaxed. “There, all better.” You said as you leaned up against the railing.

Smee started to hum a sea shanty while you paid attention to how the sunlight sparkled off the sea. “Cap’n, you know I can’t help but notice you ain’t been your usual jolly self as of late.” He said.

“Well, no wonder. Poor thing’s been chased by a crocodile for years now.”

“But it’s never been this bad.” Smee sighed and you nodded in agreement.

“But I bet you’d be a lot happier and healthier if we put to sea. Left Neverland. Forgot Peter Pan.” Smee chuckled.

“You know that’s out of the question.” You sighed.

Smee suddenly gasped and you turned to look. “What? What?”

“I-I shaved his head clean off!” Smee cried and played with his glasses.

You raised an eyebrow and lifted the warm towel off Hook’s face.

“You blithering blockhead.” Hook groaned as he glared at Smee.

“What did you even shave?” You asked as you set it on the tray Smee brought.

But before he could reply, another pirate who was named Mr. Kerk called out from the crow’s nest. “Peter Pan ahoy!”

Hearing the boy’s name, Hook immediately stood up from his seat. “What?! Where away?!” He called back.

“Three points off the starboard bow!” Kerk returned as you ran over to Hook’s desk to grab his spyglass for him.

He snatched it from your hands and brought it up to his right eye. “Swoggle me eyes…it is Pan! Headed this way with some more of those scurvy brats.”

[I hope you enjoyed this chapter!]

Pictures are Rourke when he is away from his book nerd Y/N 😔

Plot: Just a lil snapshot of Rourke and his overstimulated girlfriend decompressing after a long day together.

Warnings: ---

Authors Note: I APOLOGIZE TO THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS BECAUSE IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO WRITE THIS AND I WANNA THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Ratigan

He’s gonna find it amusing! You’d either be jealous of Falica or Fidget. So he thinks it’s hilarious! Like you’re jealous of a cat! Or a bat. He’s teasing you relentlessly. However, if you’re extremely upset and jealous, he’s going to take a minute to tell you how much he actually loves you and talk about what you need to keep your jealousy low. He’s a smart man and knows that if you don’t trust him that’s gonna make this whole relationship wayyyy harder.

Clayton

For Clayton, I’d imagine you’re jealous of Jane. Which he finds slightly troublesome and concerning. Was he giving you a reason to be distrustful or upset with him? What was causing the jealousy? Clayton surprisingly takes the time to attempt to understand the issue. He thinks you’re being dramatic and protective; he still wants to be sure he isn’t doing anything extremely worrisome to you.

Jafar

I don’t know who’d be considered close to Jafar except Iago. Even then, he finds it rather annoying. He has too much on his plate! Alright!? And now you are being a drama queen because he hasn’t spent time with you for a while. And you’re jealous of a bird!! Such an annoyance. 

Frollo

(Assume you’re married for this one)

YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO BE GUILTY OF ENVY AROUND FROLLO?! SINER! But seriously. Frollo is gonna be confused. Why would he cheat? Adultery was a sin! And he’s sooo “perfect” that he doesn’t believe that he can sin. So you’re stuck with him telling you that “ENVY IS A SIN!” And you’re being crazy. I’m hoping you can deal with that soldier.

Hades

This man doesn’t miss. He gets really serious and wants to talk to you about what’s causing the jealousy. Hades understands that he has a more “flirty” type of humor and that it’s easy to get uncomfortable sometimes. So he sits you down and has you talk about whose making you jealous, why you’re jealous, and how to ensure your comfort and trust in him. He’ll talk about his boundaries with you as well. Hades might be “evil” but he cares a lot about you and wants to ensure you comfort in all aspects of your relationship.

Hook

Hook is gonna be confused. He had shown interest in men, yes, but he wouldn’t leave you for them! You’re so much better! He’s gonna definitely have a sit down with you to talk about boundaries, the issue being had, and how to avoid that jealousy in the future.

"I will gladly be your monster."

"I kill those who hurt you. Get used to it."

"He has 5 seconds to apologize before I will ask you to cover your eyes as I get that apology for you myself."

"They hurt you because I lost my cool. That will not happen again."

"I don't want you to think differently of me, so I am asking you to look away. But she will not get away with what she did, whether you approve or not."

"Tell me what it is you want and I will make it happen." — "What if I ask for too much?" — "My love, if you asked for the world I would apologize for needing more than a week to hand it to you."

"Do you want to know what I did to them? I can tell you, or you can never think about them again. They won't be an issue again, after all."

THANKS A LOT❤️😘💘

"Yandere Ratigan & Yandere Basil" Headcanons

The cruelest twist of fate — two obsessive, brilliant, utterly unhinged minds have fixed their attention on the same person: you. Ratigan considers it an insult. Basil considers it a personal war. Neither of them considers your opinion particularly relevant.

Ratigan's Brand of Obsession

Ratigan's obsession is theatrical and suffocating in the most elegant way imaginable. One day you simply find that your life has been quietly, beautifully rearranged around him without your noticing. Your landlord has been replaced by one of his men. Your favorite tea appears on your table without explanation. A dangerous acquaintance of yours has mysteriously vanished.

He frames his possessiveness as devotion. In his mind he isn't controlling you, he is curating the world into something worthy of you. The distinction matters enormously to him.

He never raises his voice at you. He never needs to. The calm, velvet register in which he explains that you will be joining him for dinner tonight is somehow more frightening than any shout could be.

He calls you things like "my singular treasure" and "the only creature in London worth impressing." Coming from Ratigan, a mouse who holds the entire city in contempt, this is terrifyingly the highest compliment in existence.

He is furious about Basil. The idea that a scruffy, neurotic detective who forgets to eat and plays violin at 3am could be a rival for your affections strikes him as personally offensive, like finding a muddy pawprint on a silk waistcoat.

"You deserve genius, my dear. Not a genius who uses you as a backdrop for his own drama."

The irony is completely lost on him.

Basil's Brand of Obsession

Basil's obsession is messier, more honest, and in some ways more dangerous for it, because he genuinely doesn't understand what it is yet.

He begins by cataloging you. He notices things: the particular way you phrase sentences, the micro-expressions that cross your face when you're uncertain, what upsets you that you don't admit upsets you. He tells himself this is observation. It is what he does. You are simply... interesting.

He is wrong, and Dawson knows it, and Basil refuses to hear it.

The moment Ratigan's interest in you becomes apparent, something shifts in Basil that he would never name aloud. His caseload suddenly reorganizes itself around your vicinity. He appears, coincidentally, whenever Ratigan's shadow seems close. He is not protecting you out of sentiment, he insists. You are simply relevant to an ongoing investigation.

He is a terrible liar, which is funny, given his profession.

His possessiveness expresses itself as control disguised as competence. He thinks you can't handle Ratigan, which is different, and he is possibly correct, but the way he inserts himself between you and every decision you make suggests the concern goes considerably beyond tactical.

When you do something that frightens him — walk into a dangerous situation, speak to Ratigan voluntarily, suggest you don't need his supervision — he gets quiet and precise, which in Basil's emotional vocabulary is absolutely volcanic.

How They Interact Over You

They do not fight over you like brutes. They are both far too intelligent and far too proud for that.

Instead they compete, and the competition is vicious, sophisticated, and conducted largely through you.

Ratigan leaves you gifts: small, perfect, expensive things chosen with unsettling accuracy for your tastes. Basil leaves you solutions: he solves your problems before you've finished explaining them, appears when you need something, makes himself so useful it feels almost like love.

In any room containing all three of you, the tension is architectural. Ratigan will place a hand at the small of your back and watch Basil over your shoulder with a slow, carnivorous smile. Basil will position himself in your direct line of sight and hold Ratigan's gaze with the particular flatness that means he is calculating seventeen outcomes simultaneously.

Both of them speak to you about the other in the calmest possible tones, which is the most alarming thing of all.

Ratigan: "That detective of yours — does he ever actually sleep? He has the look of a creature running from something. Exhausting company, I'd imagine."

Basil: "Ratigan is charming the way a baited trap is charming. The aesthetic is immaculate. Mind the teeth."

What You Represent to Each of Them

To Ratigan, you are proof. Proof that he is more than what the world has made him, that something genuinely exquisite chose to exist near him. He has spent his life consuming everything he wanted. You are the first thing he wants to keep.

To Basil, you are the variable he cannot solve, the constant that disrupts his patterns, the one thing in Baker Street that he did not choose and cannot explain away. He is not built for softness. You are the inconvenient exception to nearly everything he has decided about himself.

The Awful Truth

Neither of them is safe. Ratigan will cage you in silk and call it love. Basil will fold you into his world and call it logic. The difference is that Ratigan has always known exactly what he is.