ria

“yah, ln yn! i heard you’re going to oh sion’s house party tonight?” you heard the words behind you uttered by an unfortunately very familiar voice.

you didn’t turn around, but halted your footsteps nonetheless as you graciously allowed the boy behind you to catch up to you. sure enough, as an arm was casually thrown around your shoulder, you moved your head slightly to be met with none other than han taesan, aka public enemy number one, aka the person we do not engage with unless absolutely necessary, aka the very bane of your existence since you guys met on that fateful saturday so many years ago.

“hello? earth to yn? did you hear my question?”

you simply stared at the boy blankly as he rambled on before narrowing your eyes slightly and asking, “why.”

taesan stared into your eyes for a moment, his gaze searching, and his results seemed to yield unfavorable things, as his eyes widened a fraction. “no way! you’re actually gonna go? don’t you know bad things always happen at oh sion’s house parties? hey, you shouldn’t go there tonight, alright?”

you let out a laugh despite yourself at the boy’s antics. “go away, taesan. i’ll do what i want.”

you turned around swiftly and continued walking, but the boy behind you did not let his momentary shock cause him to waver as he caught up to you again and tugged at your sleeve.

“hey! i’m being serious! you don’t want to go mess around with seniors like him!”

you turned, the irritation bubbling up within you causing your words to come out harsh and unlike your usual self.

“i already told you! i’ll do what i want to, taesan. just go away.” you exclaimed, exasperation evident in your tone as you spun around and faced the boy. however, you’re met with nothing but genuine worry as you meet his eyes, causing you to go quiet as soon as the words are out.

but it’s not like words are something you can just easily take back, because the damage was already done. as you watched the look in taesan’s eyes shift from concern to a raw, unfiltered hurt, you felt a strange sense of guilt wash over you. on another occasion, you probably would have teased him about it, as it wasn’t everyday one saw han taesan looking like a kicked puppy. however, your own emotions overtook any other thoughts at this moment, so instead of apologizing, you simply pull your arm away from him and turn around, hurrying off while you mumble some excuse about needing to go to class.

the feeling of guilt doesn’t leave you for the rest of the day. in fact, it only eats at you. even as you walked towards the address given to you by your friend, approaching an unfamiliar house in a neighborhood you have never visited before, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you’re doing the wrong thing.

however, you ignored any of those thoughts, simply knocking twice on the front door as your thumping heartbeat pounds in your ears.

a moment later, the door is opened by an older girl you recognize as one of the seniors of your school. she raises an eyebrow at you, surveying your appearance. just as you’re about to start giving her your full name, school name, and grade level, a voice calls her from behind. she yells back something incoherent to you before turning back to look at you. then, with a shrug, she lets you into the house. you nervously follow her down into the basement, the bass that could be felt even from above getting louder and heavier with each step you take down the creaky stairs.

immediately upon entering the crowded room, the air seems to shift. you can feel dots of sweat beginning to form on your hairline as the warmth of bodies, laughter and chatter fill the room until it’s hard to breathe. you frantically search around for any familiar faces, but the search yields you no results. with a sigh, you decide to sit down in an empty space on a nearby couch, bumping into multiple tipsy students as you make your way over.

you settle down and pull out your phone to text your friend, feeling greatly discomforted by the presence of sweaty strangers all around you. oh what you wouldn’t give to just be bickering with taesan right now… those moments always felt so light and easy, yet right now they felt as if they were ages ago rather than earlier in the day. the regret starts to kick in somewhere along the way, and it only increases tenfold when some random guy sits down next to you. you tense when he wobbly places a hand on your shoulder and leans in much too close for your liking.

“hey cutie. wanna drink with me?” you chew at your bottom lip nervously and shake your head, attempting to politely disagree as you push his hand away cautiously.

however, the guy doesn’t seem to be discouraged, in fact, he only looks more excited as he grabs your arm.

“come onnn, just one drink!” his whiny tone mixed with the scent of alcohol in his breath makes you gag as you push him away more firmly this time.

“sorry, i’m okay.”

this time, he seemed to be over getting refused. he moved closer to you, pinning you down on the backrest of the couch with a hard, unyielding grip.

“yah, i said to have a drink with me you b—“

before he can finish his curse, he’s suddenly pulled off you, and it immediately feels like a weight has been taken off you—literally.

you look up to see what had happened, shock lighting up your features when your eyes fall upon your savior.

in front of you, han taesan grabs the guy by the back of his collar, holding him like one would handle a misbehaving kitten. he heaves a sigh, before tossing the guy toward another direction like he weighs nothing, not forgetting to glare disgustingly at the pathetic male.

“she literally laid it out for you and told you she wasn’t interested and you still can’t understand? freaking dumbass.”

then, ignoring the stares of the nearby partygoers, he fixed his jacket nonchalantly and walked over to you.

he didn’t say anything, simply gazing at you for a moment, his eyes holding nothing but tenderness and some other odd emotion you couldn’t quite read. after a moment, he reached a hand out to you. it wasn’t anything big, just an offering of reassurance, an unspoken “i’m here for you.”

you hesitate for exactly half a second before you grab his hand. for once, you don’t look at him with suspicion or annoyance. rather, you feel a strong sense of gratitude and relief towards the appearance of the boy before you.

perhaps the shock of the situation still hadn’t caught up to you, for you follow taesan without a word, hand in his the whole way as the two of you walk out of the house. the sound of arguing that usually always accompanies your duo is nowhere to be heard in this moment as you both sit down next to each other on the sidewalk in front of the house.

neither of you speak at first, and you find yourself staring at taesan. the glow of the streetlight right above illuminates his entire face, which stares at the night sky above you. in this moment, he almost looks magical. the notion of it makes you let out a small laugh despite yourself, to your own surprise as well as his.

taesan whips his head around at the sound of your laughter, eyes wide with obvious concern, as if wondering if you’d been traumatized into insanity.

instead of answering the unspoken question in his gaze, you offer him a small but genuine smile. you look down at the gravel under your feet, feeling a sudden shyness come over you. your heart pounds, your stomach flipping around like you’re on some sort of mental roller coaster. you has no idea why your body was reacting this way. after all, this is han taesan we’re talking about. the same guy who stole your crayons in kindergarten and made fun of your art project in fourth grade. but your heart protested against its own head, bringing another mental image into mind. it was also the same guy who defended you from the boys that had made fun of your new shoes in first grade, and the boy who had always been there to offer you his umbrella when you forgot it on a rainy day, even if it meant letting himself get wet.

you feel yourself smiling despite yourself, despite everything you’ve ever known. you let out another quiet laugh under your breath, really understanding now what people mean when they claim any absurd thing can happen when you’re “in the moment”.

without you realizing it, the roles from earlier have silently switched, and it’s taesan who’s staring at you incredulously now.

you hear him clear his throat, before his voice fills your world again—the familiar soft and slightly raspy tone making your cheeks feel warm. or was that just the doing of han taesan himself?

“are you alright?”

you look up at the boy next to you. you’ve rarely heard his voice this gentle. it was as if he thought that if he spoke too loudly, you might scurry away like one of those stray cats around your neighborhood.

his tenderness warms your heart somehow. you can’t contain your smile as you look straight ahead. “yeah. i’m alright...” you hesitate, but the pause doesn’t last long before you add, “thank you…for being here for me.” you don’t say anything else, the unspoken things drifting between the two of you. but unlike before, it doesn’t create any awkwardness, it only settles there, as if reminding you that it is, in fact, there, but it’ll patiently allow time to help it pass and heal.

you don’t need to look at taesan to hear the smile in his voice as he answers you.

 “always.”

the two of you end up sitting in silence for a while after that, simply staring at the glimmering stars littered across the night sky. the previous tension between the two of you had been broken by this event, melting into something softer, but also more fragile.

“taesan.” you called suddenly, your voice coming out much too softly to have been directed at your supposed enemy.

taesan hummed in response as he turned to look at you.

“i don’t think i want you to go away anymore.”

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—

the air was fresh and chilly as you walked onto the football field of your school fifteen minutes later. blue hour was starting now, the night sky morphing into a mesmerizing shade of deep blue. you peered around, in search of your friends, and was met with the sight of gunwook struggling to carry four large boxes of donuts. you trotted over and took two from him, alleviating him from the risk of dropping all of them and getting scolded by yubin.

“yn!” gunwook turned toward you, happy to see you. “you made it!”

you grinned at him as you set the small stack of boxes on a nearby table, where yubin, committed to her duties as school president, was busy organizing the food the students had brought into a snack bar. leesol was next to her, helping her set up some pre-made signs.

the two looked up from their work upon your arrival.

“yn!” leesol came out from behind the table and gasped dramatically as she circled around you, admiring your outfit. “oh my gosh, you look so good!”

you smiled. “thanks. i forgot my jacket though…hopefully it doesn’t get cold later.” you sighed as leesol pouted and yubin patted your shoulder.

you helped yubin and leesol finish setting up the snack bar before the three of you made your way to where gunwook was laying out a picnic blanket on the synthetic turf.

“gunwook!” a male voice sounded from behind you guys. the boy looked up and saw youngjae, a guy in your class, coming over with his own group of friends. he ran over to the other boy, and two of them dabbed each other up. you noticed in particular that part of youngjae’s group was dohoon, the boy you sat next to in biology class. your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, like that was its natural reaction to dohoon’s very presence. the dip surprised even yourself, and you put your hand to your chest absently. it didn’t help that dohoon’s gaze hadn’t seemed to leave your figure since their group had come. you avoided his gaze, finding it to be a bit intimidating despite the fact that the two of you usually exchanged friendly interactions during class.

“wanna sit with us?” gunwook’s voice snapped you back to what was happening at hand. the other group voiced their agreement, and that’s how you found yourself sat between your friends and dohoon and his friends. somehow—by coincidence, you thought—he had taken a seat at the spot right beside you. the space was slightly cramped, with seven people sitting on three medium-sized blankets, and your shoulder brushed against his occasionally as you shifted around.

the sky started showing more visible signs of light, the color now slowly but surely shifting to a brighter cobalt blue, as more students from your grade made their way into the field.

just as everyone was settling down, playing games, chatting with each other, and munching on snacks, all waiting for the sun to rise, yubin suddenly got up with a start, as one of the teachers had come over to see her about something student government related. as if yubin’s departure had caused a domino effect, leesol also stood up, claiming to need to go use the restroom. gunwook followed, going with youngjae and the rest of dohoon’s friends to go play catch with a football.

and before you knew it, you were all alone with dohoon.

there was an obvious tension in the air, and the awkward silence was starting to make you a bit uncomfortable. however, just as you were about to say something to break the silence, dohoon suddenly spoke first.

“yn. how…are you doing today?”

you were a bit taken aback, hearing his voice initiate conversation for once. usually, you were always the one who started conversations during biology, saying hello when you saw him, commenting about the dissection specimen, asking him questions and such. you couldn’t deny though that—athough a bit unfamiliar—this was a pleasant change.

“i’m good, dohoon. what about you?” you returned politely.

“i’m good too.” he responded, sounding casual as he sat back, leaning on his hands, though you didn’t miss the faint tremble in his voice.

with that, silence ensued, and awkwardness retook its place, as if it had never left at all.

you looked into the distance, absentmindedly tapping your fingers on your arm as you silently prayed for leesol to return from the bathroom and end this awkwardness before you embarrassed yourself in front of dohoon. speaking of who, now cleared his throat as he too stared off into some distant spot, seemingly finding the principal’s munching on donuts to be very intriguing.

you turned your head, looking around at the activity of the other students around you. somehow, if felt as if the other kids were a whole different dimension away from you. like you and dohoon were encased in your own little private bubble separate from the rest of the world. just as you were about to make an observation about the photobooth in a lame attempt at reigniting conversation, a breeze suddenly rushed by, blowing your hair against your face as goosebumps quickly raised upon your bare arms, the feeling akin to raindrops falling upon the cement sidewalks on a particularly rainy day. you shivered involuntarily at the abrupt temperature drop.

dohoon’s figure seemed to visibly tense besides you. “are you cold?” he asked, concern washing over his perfect features.

you were about to shake your head, insisting you were fine, when he spoke again, shaking his head. “wait, sorry, that’s a really dumb question.” then, without warning, he unzipped his jacket, shrugged it off, and handed it over to you.

you stared at him blankly, unsure what to do as you took the jacket into your hands. dohoon made a vague gesture as if telling you to put it on. “wear it. i don’t want you to catch a cold.”

you hesitated a moment, but then the morning breeze picked up once more, and you found yourself pulling the jacket on. the sleeves were a bit long, but its warmth hugged you and gave you comfort. you couldn’t help but notice how good the garment smelled as well: its fragrance was a mix of refreshing cologne and a natural scent that reminded you of wood.

“thanks.” you remembered to say, mumbling the word quietly.

“no worries.” dohoon replies softly, and you look up as he shoots you a small, timid smile. and honestly? that smile warmed you up from inside out more than any jacket in the world possibly could.

you definitely didn’t imagine your own reaction when your face flushed. you could feel the heat, it was practically burning your face. the thought that you were probably already blushing profusely from the cold didn’t help your case either, only tinging your cheeks with more color—from embarrassment, this time.

thankfully, leesol was finally coming back from the restroom now, and you looked upon her approaching figure like she was your life saviour.

she plopped down on the blanket, took one look at you, and asked, “what’s wrong?”

you blinked twice. “nothing’s wrong.”

she narrowed her eyes at you for a moment, her eyes flickering between the jacket on you and dohoon’s jacketless figure next to you. she raised an eyebrow, staring not-so-discreetly at the boy who was nonchalantly scrolling on his phone now.

“did he…?” she asked you in a hushed voice.

you pretended to not understand what she was getting at as you answered, “did he what?”

“come on, yn! you know what i’m talking about…

at this point, the other boys were also making their way back from the field, talking animatedly. gunwook was tossing the football they had been throwing in the air, watching it spin in a spiral before catching it in his arms.

sensing a chance for a distraction, you grasped it quickly and called him over.

“gunwook! over here!”

dohoon’s head popped up at your words, and you stared at him as he watched gunwook’s approaching figure with a complex expression on his face. then, his head abruptly turned, and you found yourself staring into his eyes. your face burned as you briskly turned away.

“i’m going to the bathroom.” you announced as you stood up. you didn’t really have to go, but your heart felt somewhat heavy, like something was weighing on it, and you wanted to go be alone for a bit.

leesol looked up at you. “oh, okay. just make sure to come back before the sun rises!”

you nodded, walking off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

you could feel a pair of eyes lingering on you even as you walked away.

—

after having splashed water on your face to refresh yourself and having stared at your reflection for a good five minutes in the bathroom, you slowly made your way out, hands shoved in your—no, dohoon’s—jacket pockets.

you were starting to head back towards the football field when a quiet voice spoke from behind you.

“yn.”

you turned quickly, face lighting up in pleasant surprise as your brain registered the voice. sure enough, dohoon stood behind you, leaning on the wall separating the two bathrooms. you were so in your own headspace that you hadn’t even noticed him before. as you faced him, he stood up straight, staring into your eyes. his face was serious, but his eyes shone with something that looked a bit like determination.

“oh, hey, dohoon.”

“hi.” was the hesitant response. he scratched his nape, as if he didn’t know what to say. you noticed incredulously that he was—blushing?

he cleared his throat loudly, eyes darting from your eyes to your chin to your lips before finally settling on a spot on the top of your head. “um… how do i say this. i know we’re not really super close, but…”

you tilted your head, waiting.

his face flushed, and he looked right in your eyes as he said the next words. “but i like you! and i…have for a while, actually.”

whatever you had been expecting him to say, it definitely wasn’t this. you were about to say something in response, but he continued on.

“you’re such a caring person and just so pleasant to be around. and i wanted to tell you this now, at the start of our last year, because i wanted this year to be the year i become braver about expressing my feelings.”

you smiled at his words, feeling shy at his compliments. "that’s so sweet, dohoon. i'd love to get to know you better dohoon. to be honest, i've kind of liked you for a while now.”

dohoon’s entire face lit up in genuine surprise before a small smile slowly made its way onto his lips.

“really?” he asked quietly, relief washing across his features.

you nodded eagerly, and took a step forward, standing closer to him. then, standing up on your tip toes, you carefully leaned closer to his face, searching it. you found nothing but warmth and genuine affection on it. taking this as your sign, you closed the distance between the two of you and pressed a light, fleeting kiss onto his lips.

then, you reached out your hand. “come on, let’s go see that sunrise.”

—

the two of you made your way, hand in hand, outside the building and back onto the football field, where everyone was starting to gather. the sky was a light blue now, and it was apparent that the new day was fully dawning now.

“yn! dohoon! hurry, the sun’s starting to rise!” you saw yubin beckoning you over in the distance.

you turned around, casting a glance at dohoon, who smiled at you. you found yourself smiling back as you pulled him toward your friends.

“yn!” leesol called as she saw you walking over. then, her eyes trailed to dohoon behind you, and they widened slightly. “oh, hi, dohoon…”

she looked back at you, raising her eyebrows in a silent question. you just shook your head, mouthing “later”, which satisfied her.

by this point, the golden rays of the morning sun had become fully visible, and the light cast a glow upon the seniors’ faces, illuminating their hopes for the new year and their futures.

you stare at the beautiful sight, feeling the sunlight engulf you like a warm hug. you turn to look at dohoon next to you, wanting to catch him enjoying the view as well, only to find him already looking at you.

you raise your eyebrows at him and ask playfully, “aren’t you going to enjoy the view too?”

he simply smiled lightly. “i already am.”

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—

the air was fresh and chilly as you walked onto the football field of your school fifteen minutes later. blue hour was starting now, the night sky morphing into a mesmerizing shade of deep blue. you peered around, in search of your friends, and was met with the sight of gunwook struggling to carry four large boxes of donuts. you trotted over and took two from him, alleviating him from the risk of dropping all of them and getting scolded by yubin.

“yn!” gunwook turned toward you, happy to see you. “you made it!”

you grinned at him as you set the small stack of boxes on a nearby table, where yubin, committed to her duties as school president, was busy organizing the food the students had brought into a snack bar. leesol was next to her, helping her set up some pre-made signs.

the two looked up from their work upon your arrival.

“yn!” leesol came out from behind the table and gasped dramatically as she circled around you, admiring your outfit. “oh my gosh, you look so good!”

you smiled. “thanks. i forgot my jacket though…hopefully it doesn’t get cold later.” you sighed as leesol pouted and yubin patted your shoulder.

you helped yubin and leesol finish setting up the snack bar before the three of you made your way to where gunwook was laying out a picnic blanket on the synthetic turf.

“gunwook!” a male voice sounded from behind you guys. the boy looked up and saw youngjae, a guy in your class, coming over with his own group of friends. he ran over to the other boy, and two of them dabbed each other up. you noticed in particular that part of youngjae’s group was dohoon, the boy you sat next to in biology class. your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, like that was its natural reaction to dohoon’s very presence. the dip surprised even yourself, and you put your hand to your chest absently. it didn’t help that dohoon’s gaze hadn’t seemed to leave your figure since their group had come. you avoided his gaze, finding it to be a bit intimidating despite the fact that the two of you usually exchanged friendly interactions during class.

“wanna sit with us?” gunwook’s voice snapped you back to what was happening at hand. the other group voiced their agreement, and that’s how you found yourself sat between your friends and dohoon and his friends. somehow—by coincidence, you thought—he had taken a seat at the spot right beside you. the space was slightly cramped, with seven people sitting on three medium-sized blankets, and your shoulder brushed against his occasionally as you shifted around.

the sky started showing more visible signs of light, the color now slowly but surely shifting to a brighter cobalt blue, as more students from your grade made their way into the field.

just as everyone was settling down, playing games, chatting with each other, and munching on snacks, all waiting for the sun to rise, yubin suddenly got up with a start, as one of the teachers had come over to see her about something student government related. as if yubin’s departure had caused a domino effect, leesol also stood up, claiming to need to go use the restroom. gunwook followed, going with youngjae and the rest of dohoon’s friends to go play catch with a football.

and before you knew it, you were all alone with dohoon.

there was an obvious tension in the air, and the awkward silence was starting to make you a bit uncomfortable. however, just as you were about to say something to break the silence, dohoon suddenly spoke first.

“yn. how…are you doing today?”

you were a bit taken aback, hearing his voice initiate conversation for once. usually, you were always the one who started conversations during biology, saying hello when you saw him, commenting about the dissection specimen, asking him questions and such. you couldn’t deny though that—athough a bit unfamiliar—this was a pleasant change.

“i’m good, dohoon. what about you?” you returned politely.

“i’m good too.” he responded, sounding casual as he sat back, leaning on his hands, though you didn’t miss the faint tremble in his voice.

with that, silence ensued, and awkwardness retook its place, as if it had never left at all.

you looked into the distance, absentmindedly tapping your fingers on your arm as you silently prayed for leesol to return from the bathroom and end this awkwardness before you embarrassed yourself in front of dohoon. speaking of who, now cleared his throat as he too stared off into some distant spot, seemingly finding the principal’s munching on donuts to be very intriguing.

you turned your head, looking around at the activity of the other students around you. somehow, if felt as if the other kids were a whole different dimension away from you. like you and dohoon were encased in your own little private bubble separate from the rest of the world. just as you were about to make an observation about the photobooth in a lame attempt at reigniting conversation, a breeze suddenly rushed by, blowing your hair against your face as goosebumps quickly raised upon your bare arms, the feeling akin to raindrops falling upon the cement sidewalks on a particularly rainy day. you shivered involuntarily at the abrupt temperature drop.

dohoon’s figure seemed to visibly tense besides you. “are you cold?” he asked, concern washing over his perfect features.

you were about to shake your head, insisting you were fine, when he spoke again, shaking his head. “wait, sorry, that’s a really dumb question.” then, without warning, he unzipped his jacket, shrugged it off, and handed it over to you.

you stared at him blankly, unsure what to do as you took the jacket into your hands. dohoon made a vague gesture as if telling you to put it on. “wear it. i don’t want you to catch a cold.”

you hesitated a moment, but then the morning breeze picked up once more, and you found yourself pulling the jacket on. the sleeves were a bit long, but its warmth hugged you and gave you comfort. you couldn’t help but notice how good the garment smelled as well: its fragrance was a mix of refreshing cologne and a natural scent that reminded you of wood.

“thanks.” you remembered to say, mumbling the word quietly.

“no worries.” dohoon replies softly, and you look up as he shoots you a small, timid smile. and honestly? that smile warmed you up from inside out more than any jacket in the world possibly could.

you definitely didn’t imagine your own reaction when your face flushed. you could feel the heat, it was practically burning your face. the thought that you were probably already blushing profusely from the cold didn’t help your case either, only tinging your cheeks with more color—from embarrassment, this time.

thankfully, leesol was finally coming back from the restroom now, and you looked upon her approaching figure like she was your life saviour.

she plopped down on the blanket, took one look at you, and asked, “what’s wrong?”

you blinked twice. “nothing’s wrong.”

she narrowed her eyes at you for a moment, her eyes flickering between the jacket on you and dohoon’s jacketless figure next to you. she raised an eyebrow, staring not-so-discreetly at the boy who was nonchalantly scrolling on his phone now.

“did he…?” she asked you in a hushed voice.

you pretended to not understand what she was getting at as you answered, “did he what?”

“come on, yn! you know what i’m talking about…

at this point, the other boys were also making their way back from the field, talking animatedly. gunwook was tossing the football they had been throwing in the air, watching it spin in a spiral before catching it in his arms.

sensing a chance for a distraction, you grasped it quickly and called him over.

“gunwook! over here!”

dohoon’s head popped up at your words, and you stared at him as he watched gunwook’s approaching figure with a complex expression on his face. then, his head abruptly turned, and you found yourself staring into his eyes. your face burned as you briskly turned away.

“i’m going to the bathroom.” you announced as you stood up. you didn’t really have to go, but your heart felt somewhat heavy, like something was weighing on it, and you wanted to go be alone for a bit.

leesol looked up at you. “oh, okay. just make sure to come back before the sun rises!”

you nodded, walking off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

you could feel a pair of eyes lingering on you even as you walked away.

—

after having splashed water on your face to refresh yourself and having stared at your reflection for a good five minutes in the bathroom, you slowly made your way out, hands shoved in your—no, dohoon’s—jacket pockets.

you were starting to head back towards the football field when a quiet voice spoke from behind you.

“yn.”

you turned quickly, face lighting up in pleasant surprise as your brain registered the voice. sure enough, dohoon stood behind you, leaning on the wall separating the two bathrooms. you were so in your own headspace that you hadn’t even noticed him before. as you faced him, he stood up straight, staring into your eyes. his face was serious, but his eyes shone with something that looked a bit like determination.

“oh, hey, dohoon.”

“hi.” was the hesitant response. he scratched his nape, as if he didn’t know what to say. you noticed incredulously that he was—blushing?

he cleared his throat loudly, eyes darting from your eyes to your chin to your lips before finally settling on a spot on the top of your head. “um… how do i say this. i know we’re not really super close, but…”

you tilted your head, waiting.

his face flushed, and he looked right in your eyes as he said the next words. “but i like you! and i…have for a while, actually.”

whatever you had been expecting him to say, it definitely wasn’t this. you were about to say something in response, but he continued on.

“you’re such a caring person and just so pleasant to be around. and i wanted to tell you this now, at the start of our last year, because i wanted this year to be the year i become braver about expressing my feelings.”

you smiled at his words, feeling shy at his compliments. "that’s so sweet, dohoon. i'd love to get to know you better dohoon. to be honest, i've kind of liked you for a while now.”

dohoon’s entire face lit up in genuine surprise before a small smile slowly made its way onto his lips.

“really?” he asked quietly, relief washing across his features.

you nodded eagerly, and took a step forward, standing closer to him. then, standing up on your tip toes, you carefully leaned closer to his face, searching it. you found nothing but warmth and genuine affection on it. taking this as your sign, you closed the distance between the two of you and pressed a light, fleeting kiss onto his lips.

then, you reached out your hand. “come on, let’s go see that sunrise.”

—

the two of you made your way, hand in hand, outside the building and back onto the football field, where everyone was starting to gather. the sky was a light blue now, and it was apparent that the new day was fully dawning now.

“yn! dohoon! hurry, the sun’s starting to rise!” you saw yubin beckoning you over in the distance.

you turned around, casting a glance at dohoon, who smiled at you. you found yourself smiling back as you pulled him toward your friends.

“yn!” leesol called as she saw you walking over. then, her eyes trailed to dohoon behind you, and they widened slightly. “oh, hi, dohoon…”

she looked back at you, raising her eyebrows in a silent question. you just shook your head, mouthing “later”, which satisfied her.

by this point, the golden rays of the morning sun had become fully visible, and the light cast a glow upon the seniors’ faces, illuminating their hopes for the new year and their futures.

you stare at the beautiful sight, feeling the sunlight engulf you like a warm hug. you turn to look at dohoon next to you, wanting to catch him enjoying the view as well, only to find him already looking at you.

you raise your eyebrows at him and ask playfully, “aren’t you going to enjoy the view too?”

he simply smiled lightly. “i already am.”

perm taglist : @wonsoire , @lusayyawnn , @coerbnz , @sevnghos , @kisedolii , @jellywichu , @stillmnstr , @ivehan , @lovuimuse , @floviera , @hyeonscoffee / join here tws taglist : @jellyluvsjihoon

“We’re still getting ice cream, right?”

You look over, and there he is. Dohoon, walking backward in front of you in the hallway, slowed to match your pace. You both and just finished classes and were getting ready to leave.

“As if you’d let me forget,” you say. 

He grins, satisfied, and turns around just before he crashes into someone. 

You tell yourself your heart only does that stupid little skip because you were startled. 

Right. 

You and Dohoon had been friends ever since the start of middle school. Getting ice cream with him had started off as a “sometimes” thing. Slowly, it started happening at least once a week, and it became a habit. Like breathing. Like brushing your teeth. Like him taking the seat next to you before you even looked up. 

Initially, you hadn’t expected to get close to him. He had seemed quiet, and somewhat untouchable. While you weren’t super popular back then, Dohoon’s locker and desk were always buried in small notes, as well as various drinks and snacks from girls all over the school. It wasn’t until a science project paired you together that you two actually talked, and somehow, that was all it took to become inseparable.

You quickly learned that Dohoon wasn’t as quiet as he seemed. Around you, he became witty, playful, and occasionally, dangerously charming. Sometimes it was a simple “good morning, pretty,” delivered with his voice low, or a fleeting comment like “you look good today” while handing you a tray in the lunchroom before looking away as if nothing happened. At first, you couldn’t tell if he was serious or just playing around. You tried not to notice, tried not to feel your heart speed up, but you couldn’t help it. You were falling, and you were falling fast. But over time, you learned to get used to the way your heart sped up each time. 

—

At the ice cream shop, your eyes kept scanning the rows of flavors under the display with indecision. Dohoon waited patiently, grinning at your obvious struggle. 

“Take your time,” he teased. “I was planning on being here all day anyway.”

“Shut up,” you muttered as you finally pointed to your choice. “You’re so annoying.” But you’re smiling when you say it, and he notices.

You reach for your wallet when it’s time to pay. But of course, Dohoon had already beaten you to it. 

“Dohoon.”

He doesn’t even look at you as he taps his card. “Hmm?”

“When are you going to let me pay?”

He finally glances over, feigning confusion. “Why would I do that?”

Your stomach flips. You hate that it does that. 

“Because that’s what normal friends do.”

The word sits weird in your chest. Just friends. 

He hands you your cone, and your fingers brush his. 

“Good thing we’re not normal, then,” he responds. 

You look away. 

He recovers first. “If you keep complaining, I’m gonna stop hanging out with you. I’m being deadass,” he said in a serious voice, though his lips were slightly curved upwards. 

“As if,” you shot back with a smile.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, eyes glinting. “I can never say no to you.”

Your breath hitched slightly before you recovered as if it never happened in the first place. He walks on the outside of the sidewalk like he always does when you leave the ice cream shop. You never pointed it out. He’s never mentioned it. But every time a car passes, his arm shifts just slightly closer to you. 

Your shoulder almost touches his. You wonder if he notices. You wonder if he does it on purpose. 

You wonder too much.

—

The next morning, 

“A little bird told me Jaehyun has a crush on you,” Kyungmin said, a proud grin on his face. 

Jeemin’s head shot up, and she gasped. “Oh my god, I heard that too when I was in the hallway earlier! You know, Jaehyun is famous for being super popular among girls. Apparently some girls in the class next door even have a group chat specifically to drool over him. It’s a little pathetic, really.”

You blinked, caught off guard. You were pretty sure you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other. He literally sat in the opposite corner of class. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you could even remember what his voice sounded like. 

“Oh really? I swear I’ve never talked to him in my life,” you responded before turning your attention back to your history notes. 

“Do you think you’d want to get to know him? I’ve heard he’s super kind and sociable,” Kyungmin asked. 

You paused, considering. “Hmm, I don’t really know. I mean, I’ve never thought about it before.” 

But for some reason, your brain, traitor that it is, whispers: I wonder what Dohoon would say.

—

After the test, Jaehyun actually talks to you. When you felt a tap on your shoulder, you turned around, expecting to see Dohoon. Instead, it was Jaehyun. 

“Hey, not sure if you know my name but I’m Jaehyun!” he said, introducing himself. “I heard about you from my friend Taesan, who is in your class, I think. Our school choir is performing next Tuesday at 6 pm if you’d like to come. We’re performing some really beautiful pieces, so you’d fit right in.”

It took you a second to process that he was actually talking to you. Oh, so that’s what he sounds like. And then you realized that he just called you beautiful. 

“Oh! Haha…thank you!” you said, laughing nervously. 

“Of course! Hopefully I’ll get to see you there!” Jaehyun said cheerily before sprinting away. That’s when you noticed Dohoon, who stood right behind him. He had heard the entire exchange. Suddenly, something in his chest twisted, sharp and unfamiliar. 

You’ve known him long enough to notice the difference in his demeanor. He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Was that funny?” he asked.

It was such a simple question. Maybe you were reading too much into it, but it suddenly sounded smaller and unlike his usual confident tone. 

“Huh?” you asked. “I mean, well yeah, I guess.”

He tried to brush it off. “Whatever. I was just wondering,” he muttered, a little too quickly as he shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I dunno, I thought it was pretty witty,” you said softly.

“I guess.”

An awkward silence fell between you two as you walked to lunch. It felt weird. Between you and Dohoon, it was almost never silent. 

You tried to fill it. “How was the test?”

“It was fine,” he said flatly.

The silence returned, and it was absolutely suffocating. It stretched all the way through lunch. Dohoon barely spoke and spent most of the time picking at his food while all sorts of thoughts swirled in his head. He replayed the moment when Jaehyun tapped your shoulder, the way your face lit up and your voice came out much higher. Why was Jaehyun talking to you? What did he want? Did you know him well? DId you find him cute? Did you like him? Wait. Since when did he care so much? 

Kyungmin and Jeemin noticed the slight apprehension between the two of you and tried to start a conversation. Unlucky for you, it happened to be about Jaehyun again. 

“So, I saw Jaehyun come up to you after the test! What did he want?” Kyungmin asked. He failed to notice the way Dohoon’s face hardened and the way his grip on his chopsticks tightened. 

“Oh, nothing. He just invited me to his choir concert next week.” 

Jeemin asked,” Are you going to go?”

“No, I can’t,” you responded. “I have two tests the next day that I have to study for.” 

Dohoon stabbed at his rice like it personally offended him. Every time you laughed at something or said a word that reminded him of Jaehyun’s compliment, a sharp twist ran through his chest. When he saw that your eyes were darting across the cafeteria, as if you were looking for someone, he quickly looked away. 

“You’re really quiet today,” you finally said as you glanced at him. 

“Yeah, just tired,” he muttered. But you noticed how his eyes had this sort of faraway look, as if he couldn’t stop thinking about something on his mind, and his leg wouldn’t stop raising subconsciously. You could tell he was restless about something. You wanted to ask what’s wrong. 

You’re scared of the answer. 

Later, when you stood to throw away your tray, he slipped slightly ahead of you. It wasn’t enough to be obvious, but it was enough that his shoulder brushed yours when you stepped out of the lunch room. 

“Watch it,” you teased. 

“Watch what?” he asked innocently, a small, teasing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. But inside, he was so close to exploding. The teasing dynamic had returned, and things were supposed to go back to normal now. But he kept thinking about how you had been talking to another guy, who made you laugh, and it hurt more than he expected. 

—

After school, it was your and Kyungmin’s turn to clean the classroom. You worked side by side in comfortable quiet, but you could tell that he had something on his mind. 

“(Name), have you ever thought about dating anyone?” he suddenly blurted out. 

You glanced at him. “Out of nowhere? What do you mean, does Jaehyun like me that much?” you joked, though you had a feeling that wasn’t what he was referring to. 

“Well, I wasn’t really thinking about him specifically,” Kyungmin said, shrugging. “But like, if someone confessed to you, would you say yes?” 

You opened your mouth to answer, then stopped. If it were anyone else, you’d probably say no without thinking. But Dohoon’s name lingered quietly in your head. Who was Kyungmin referring to?

Before you could respond, Jaehyun suddenly appeared in the doorway, holding two banana milks, one of which was unopened. Looks like I summoned him. 

“Here, (Name)! The vending machine gave me an extra, so I figured you’d want it,” he said, tossing it over. You caught it, startled, but by the time you looked up to thank him, he was already speeding away, the tips of his ears faintly red. 

“Oh he’s serious,” Kyungmin muttered. “That’s bad.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. Wait, I think there’s something stuck on the bottom.”

Sure enough, a tiny sticky note was taped underneath. You peeled it off and unfolded it. 

“Saw this and thought of you. Rest well~” Kyungmin read over your shoulder. “You know, it’s usually girls chasing him. This might be the first time I’ve seen him actually try to woo someone.”

It was sweet. It should make you feel something. But strangely, your mind goes to the first time you and Dohoon stopped by the convenience store together. Without you saying a word, he’d reached over and handed you the exact kimbap you always bought. 

“How-” you started, confusion written all over your face. 

“I have my ways,” he’d said lightly, turning away to hide his smile at your reaction. Only later did you realize he must’ve heard you complaining to Jeemin days before about the store running out of your favorite tuna kimbap. You hadn’t even noticed he was listening. 

He hadn’t made a big deal about it. He just knew. Your heart aches in a way that has nothing to do with Jaehyun. 

As you wiped down the teacher’s desk, more memories came flooding back. Sure, Dohoon was a playful guy, but he was dependable and knew you better than anyone. The time you nearly cried over losing your I.D., he spent his entire lunch break searching for it only to find it tucked between your notebooks. The time you bombed a language test, you hadn’t even said a word about it, yet he dragged you to the night market to distract you. You had so much fun trying the different types of salt bread that you forgot why you were even upset. 

“Hello? Earth to (name)?” 

Kyungmin waved a hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your daze. “What’s got you thinking so hard?”

You brushed it off with a small smile, but even after you both went your separate ways, Dohoon lingered in your thoughts the entire walk home. 

This was bad. Really bad. You thought you had gotten so good at burying your feelings for him. But somehow, they were coming back stronger than ever. 

—

“Dude, can you just pick a movie?” you complained as you watched Dohoon scroll through Netflix for the tenth time. “If you don’t pick something, I’m picking for you.” It was movie night, and you wanted nothing more than to just rot for the night.

“Hey, stop, it’s my turn,” Dohoon shot back, sticking his tongue out before turning back to the screen. “Be patient.” He scrolls. Scrolls. And keeps scrolling.

You didn’t know that his inner thoughts were anything but calm. In reality, his mind had been spiraling since earlier that day. Kyungmin — bless his big mouth — had casually mentioned the whole banana milk thing as a warning. 

“Hyung, you have to step it up! He’s gonna snatch her away pretty soon if you don’t make a move.”

It bothered him way more than it should have. He wasn’t used to sharing your attention. As petty as it sounds, you laughed at his jokes first. You called him when you needed something. So why did the idea of another guy stepping in make his chest feel tight and uncomfortable?

Finally, he clicked on a movie. 

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 

You blinked. “A romcom? Since when do you pick these? What happened to your action movie marathon?”

He shrugged, avoiding your eyes. “I dunno. Just felt like it.”

You gave him a suspicious look but let it slide. Romcoms were usually your territory, and getting him to agree to one normally took at least ten minutes of bickering before he finally gave in. 

The movie played, but Dohoon barely paid attention. His leg bounced. His jaw tightened every time the male lead did something romantic. Eventually, you noticed. 

“Okay, what’s wrong with you today?” you asked as you hit pause on the movie. “You’ve been weird all day.” 

“Nothing,” he muttered. 

“Dohoon. I’m being serious.”

He exhaled sharply and ran a hand through his hair. “I just…why didn’t you tell me about Jaehyun?”

You blinked again. That was the last thing you thought he was going to say. “What about him?”

“The drink. The note. Him trying to…you know.” His voice tightened. “Do you like him?”

Your heart skipped. Why does he care? “No, I barely know him, I mean.”

You both resumed watching the movie. Suddenly, you turned to him. You had to ask him. 

“Why? Does it bother you?”

He looked away. “God, this is so stupid,” he let out. 

“What?”

“I got jealous, okay?” he said, finally meeting your eyes. His usual teasing tone was gone. “I didn’t know at first, but I don’t like seeing someone else trying to make you smile like that. I didn’t like that he might get close to you. And I hate that I feel this way because if you didn’t feel the same, I could lose you. And I’d rather have you as my best friend than not have you at all. ”

Frozen in shock, you kept staring at him. What is he trying to say?

The words come tumbling out as if they were suffocating him. “You don’t understand how much hearing about that messed with my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About us. I kept remembering how you’ve been there for every single one of my birthdays since we became friends. How you stayed up helping me study for math so I wouldn’t have to take summer classes. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through half of that without you. And I remembered how you spent three hours learning how to make a bowl in pottery class just so you could give me one after I broke my favorite bowl. Apparently to me, that was the end of the world, but like always, you were there to fix it.”

I thought about you like that too, you thought. I couldn’t stop thinking about you either. 

“All of these thoughts were going through my head, but I couldn’t help but think about how devastating it would be if we lost this relationship. If I had confessed and you rejected me, I don’t know how I would’ve handled it. I think somewhere along the way, I realized I liked you. I just thought ignoring it would make it go away.”

“But I don’t want to compete with anyone else for you,” he admitted, softer now. “(Name), I think I like you. Not in a joke way. Not in a best-friend, platonic way. I really like you.”

You stared at Dohoon. Your heart was racing at a hundred miles a minute. Any faster and you swear it was going to jump out of your chest. This was it. This was the moment you were waiting for. All those years of back and forth teasing and small gestures, they suddenly made sense. How could you not see it? 

“You’re an idiot,” you said softly. 

His face fell. “What?”

“Because I’ve liked you for ages. Literally since forever.”

He froze. “Wait, seriously?”

“Who else would put up with you for so long?” you joked, laughing nervously. 

“So I was stressing over nothing?” he said, a disbelieving smile spreading across his face. 

“Pretty much.”

He shook his head and then leaned back into the couch as a quiet laugh of relief escaped him. You looked away, giggling at how flustered he suddenly seemed. After a moment, his hand found yours, and without thinking, you shifted a little closer to him. 

“Good,” he murmured. “Because I really didn’t want to lose to some guy you didn’t even know existed a week ago.”

You laughed, squeezing his hand. “You’re unbelievable.”

—

At school, you thought Jeemin and Kyungmin wouldn’t notice. Which was good, because you had no idea how to tell them. But not even five seconds after you and Dohoon walked into the classroom together, Kyungmin looked up and nearly yelled. 

“Oh my god, Jeemin, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Holy shit. Finally,” Jeemin replied, grinning as you approached. “I was two days away from playing matchmaker myself.” 

You were confused. “What do you mean finally? How did you know?” You thought you’d done such a good job hiding everything. At least Dohoon hadn’t figured anything out before last night.

“It was so painfully obvious!” Kyungmin exposed. “At least on Dohoon’s side. He literally looks at you like you hung the moon. And yesterday when he was being all awkward at lunch? It was literally screaming jealousy. Really, I can’t believe you didn’t notice at all!” 

“Yeah,” Jeemin continued. “And even if you were quieter about it, you always worry about him more than anyone else. It’s always ‘Dohoon this…’ ‘Dohoon that…’, even if you didn’t realize. It wasn’t hard to tell.”

Dohoon smirked, glancing at you. “Oh? You care about me like that?” 

And there it was, the teasing was already starting. You didn’t even consider how insufferable he would be once you started dating him. 

“Shut up, actually,” you retorted, rolling your eyes. But the shy smile creeping onto your face gave you away instantly. 

Your blood spikes, your heart roars in fear.

And rage, definitely rage.

Han Taesan—standing with his arms crossed and nose upturned, in all his disgusting, pompous Slytherin glory. He smirks sideways, face inches away from yours when he's leaned down to hear you better.

Or maybe the jerk just wants to goad his advantageous height over you.

You swivel back around, facing front. "What the heck are you here for?? Did Professor not ban you after…"

"You speaking to air?" he quips. "Because all the ghosts are too busy trying to smell the pastries, plus they suck at small talk."

You huff, turning around once again to look up at him. He grins in victory, the fool.

"I was saying," you grit your teeth, "that you aren't allowed to join the choir this year."

"And miss out on the festivities!?" he feigns a dramatic gasp, a hand at his chest.  "How can I go to bed knowing you’d be all alone over here? What if you forget the words? What if you slip and fall? Who’s gonna make sure it’s documented on camera for the progeny!?”

Your face heats up and you puff your cheeks in anger.

“You won’t have any progeny to document for, Han Taesan!” you shove your lyric sheet into your robe’s pocket and begin to fumble for your wand, ready to empty the Slytherin hourglass of house points. 

But the Head of Ravenclaw clears his throat loudly, commanding the student choir into place. You hesitantly pull the sheet out again, but not without throwing a nasty look back at Taesan, to which he responds with a satisfied, goofy smile. 

“In 3… 2… 1…”

The organ music rises to the midnight blue ceiling, magically siphoned and amplified, moving along to the non-verbal instructions of Professor Boo’s wand. You take a deep breath, ridding your mind of unnecessary tensions, fingers absently soothing Mr. Ribbit with gentle strokes; it does more to calm you than it does for him.

You start singing with a perfect smile, focussing on Eunchae's encouraging thumbs up from some distance away. 

Double, double, toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Double, double, toil and trouble;

Something wicked this way comes!

The words are morose and dramatic, but the choir had rendered the song to add a slight flair to it, spinning it in a more theatrical direction. You punctuate as practised, leaping from one verse to the next with whole-hearted attention.

Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Wool of bat and tongue of dog,

Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,

Lizard's leg and howlet's wing.

You don’t see anything but your sheet of music, and the tiny notes you’d added to certain lines. You tunnel-vision, missing the happenings behind you—the eerie stretch of Taesan’s smirk, the slinking way he slides out his wand from inside his shoes, the way Keonho and Seonghyeon exchange an excited look of impending doom, the way Taesan’s mouth pronounces a transfiguration spell instead of the song he’s supposed to be joining in on.

“In the cauldron boil and bake, fillet of a fenny snake—” your voice lilts over the edge, maintaining harmony with the rest of the choir.

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf

Mr. Ribbit croaks uncharacteristically. You feel him shrinking in your arm, his skin turning less slimy and more…scaly. You make the terrible mistake of looking down, feeling your stomach lurch in shock. 

“Witches' mummy, maw and gu—AHHHHHHH!” you shriek before the verse ends.

Instead of holding your precious pet toad, there’s a spindly, dry, rattlesnake wrapped around your forearm!

You scream at the top of your lungs, pausing only to heave every time the snake hisses at you; the choir continues to sing, paying no attention to your hysterics, thoroughly loyal to Professor Boo’s teachings of ‘The show must go on!’. 

“Get it off, get it off, get it offffffff!" You're flailing around with tears in your eyes, ears accidentally tuning into Taesan's hearty cackle. "HAN TAESAN, I'M GOING TO DIE!"

“Don’t worry, they’re rarely fatal," he says easily, doing nothing to curb your freaking out.

"Rarely!??? Oh My God, I'm going to die. It's going to bite me—Mr. Ribbit, it's me, your Y/N, please don't bite!"

You've lost it, throwing your arms in wild circles to flick off the snarling serpent, no longer seeing any of the apathy of your lovely pet toad in his eyes. With one final ungraceful flourish of your left arm, Mr. Ribbit—no, the snake—flies overhead and lands right on top of an unassuming Professor Boo's head. It twists in anger, hissing loudly at a wide-eyed second year, who takes one shaky breath before letting out a shrill, "SNAKE—!!!".

The choir instructor is the first to react, shrieking, "SNAKE!!!? WHERE!?"

With a trembling finger, the kid points at the top of his head, freezing Professor Boo in his spot. He inhales sharply, face going sour, and brings a terrified hand to the reptile's skin and—

"FUCK! OH MERLIN! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE— I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!" he heaves, sobbing through the wonky music now that he's no longer in control of its instruction. Several students look his way, confused about what to do next; Keonho snickers under his breath, Seonghyeon doesn't even bother to hide the way he pulls out his enchanted camera and snaps a loud, embarrassing shot of the Professor's snot.

Then there's Taesan, with a Cheshire cat grin and twinkly eyes, his attention solely on you and your mental breakdown, thoroughly enjoying every crumb of it.

"100 points off from Slytherin!" you choke out through a sob. "150 if you don't change him back to Mr. Ribbit, right now!"

"Term hasn't even started yet and you're already taking points off?" Taesan quirks his head, smiling when you clench your fists together in an attempt to stop the waterfall of tears threatening to spill.

"Detention!" you huff, sniffling and wiping your eyes. "Turn him back!"

"Say please," he retorts, earning more giggles from his minions at the back.

"Turn him back or else—"

"Or else, what? You'll send me to detention again? Oh, the horrors!" he mocks, making his voice shriller, evidently a cheap imitation of yours from a minute ago. Taesan reverts back to his default expression, which just happens to be the most insufferable thing you've been cursed to witness—that sideways smirk that looked too much like an evil cat plotting your demise, topped with his signature way of looking down at you. "Relax," he says when you continue to stare daggers at him through wet lashes, "Professor Jeon took care of your frog already."

You turn your head to where he motions, seeing the Quidditch coach cradle Mr. Ribbit in one of his hands, kneeling down to comfort a wailing Professor Boo (although you can distinctly tell that Professor Jeon is trying his hardest to hold back a snicker or two).

"Aren't you the Care of Magical Creatures Professor? This is like your entire job," Professor Jeon chuckles, helping the other man to his feet.

"That's offensive to us Magizoologists," Professor Boo retorts, rubbing his swollen nose. "Also, I'm not good with reptiles."

Mr. Ribbit leaps twice and straight into your open arms; you hug him close, saving your last couple sobs to apologise to him for ever letting him near Han Taesan's wand, kissing the top of his slippery head as a consolation offering.

"Kissing frogs while you wait for a Prince Charming? You're not supposed to take the saying literally, Y/N," comes the teasing comment from behind.

That's it. You are done crying—Han Taesan would have to simply be punished with lifelong detentions… Or at least until he'd graduate in two years.

You pivot around to do just that, but the calculations are off when it lands you a hair's breath away from his body.

"You look nice like this," Taesan does not drop his tone, his hands resting behind his spine as he leans further down to look you in the eye; your stomach coils anxiously. "Really, you've never looked better—the crying makes your cheeks all red, and the snot is really working in your favour—you're positively glowing. Say cheese!"

Before you know it, a resounding flash goes off, blinding you in a bright white light.

It makes you dizzy, as though under a concussive hex; when you come to, it's to face all 32 of Taesan's teeth, and the notoriously wicked look in his eyes.

You process the events in slow motion, blinking awake. The confusion blearily turns into utter embarrassment as Taesan begins to wave a shiny Polaroid in your face, snapping you awake with your own wet, flushed face staring back at you.

"I—" He slips the picture into his pockets, away from where you can grab for it. "You…"

"I'll make sure to put it up on my wall and pray to it every morning for good luck," Taesan nods sagely, slick in the way he returns the camera back to Seonghyeon.

First, you feel the shame—the utter indignity of the moment. How he's always doing this to you, making sure he doesn't go a day without making his presence known.

Then comes the red, hot, burning fury that surges when you look up to see his grinning face, almost serpentine in the way it grows wide.

He's having fun.

"Han. Taesan," you fume, furiously wiping away the last dregs of your tears. "Burn that photograph or I will haunt your nightmares, you evil, evil snake."

"Not the worst predicament I could be in," he shrugs. "I could get a pretty penny for this picture, y'know, if I sold it to the school paper. Isn't that right, Seonghyeon-ah?"

His mini-me nods enthusiastically from the back, chiming in with a, "Could go for some thirty galleons, give or take."

"However," Taesan leans forward, both hands casually in the depths of his pockets, resembling a giant, lazy cat. "Since I'm so gracious, I will take one for the team and keep this award-worthy picture to myself. That way the world will not have to suffer—"

"You will do no such thing! Give it to me. Now!" You launch for his pocket, but he sidesteps, dodging without even moving his arms.

"Missed," he sneers.

You try again, but that ends with your toad slipping out of your hold and leaping away onto the closest surface—which just so happens to be the Slytherin table, and right into some poor kid's open bowl of pudding. Naturally, chaos ensues, the fountain of pastries toppling over as students begin to yelp and scream, moving out of the way.

You look at Mr. Ribbit, then at Han Taesan, at your wit's end as to who to prioritise right now.

Taesan decides to lift the burden off your shoulder and takes off towards the door, where your toad has also sprung forward to. He looks back at you, offering his menacing sparkly eyes and juvenile grin, and a quick, "Catch me if you can!" before speeding faster.

You run after him before your thoughts can catch up. "200 points from Slytherin!" you shriek, only earning a funny look from the other house tables and a too-happy skip in the step from the boy that has tormented your peace for the past five years.

Han Taesan will pay for his sins.

Gryffindor common room

You must have murdered a sacred unicorn in your past life to deserve this fate.

"It's because you react exactly how he wants, Y/N," Chaewon is sitting with her chin propped up on her knees on the couch, voice slurred from sleepiness. It's been a long day of classes and club activities, and you're in no better shape.

"I still think he's into you," Eunchae mumbles through a cheekful of jellybeans, having shaken a whole packet right into her mouth. "Boys do stupid things for attention."

You make a disgusted face, wanting to give the younger girl a nice scolding but reluctantly restoring to just wiping the drool off the side of her lips; she looked too close to a chipmunk for you to manage to berate her right now. Maybe another day.

"Well he's definitely stupid," you grumble, sinking back into the foot of the couch, splaying your legs on the carpeted floor, sighing as Chaewon offers some placating pats on your head. "Sometimes I think he just likes to see me cry," you pout.

Chaewon and Eunchae's eyes meet at once, their faces contouring knowingly.

You narrow your eyes, gaze ping-ponging between them. "What?"

"Well…" Chaewon grins awkwardly. "It's not like you make it difficult in that department…"

"Hey!" you protest, offended.

"She's right though," Eunchae doesn't bother to soften the blow. "You cry when you panic. And you panic a lot. Like a lot, a lot."

Chaewon chimes in before you can start whining indignantly, "And you are afraid of every living thing on this planet—except for your toad that is—"

"He has a name."

"—Spiders, clowns, heights, exams, fish…"

"Dogs," Eunchae continues the lists, "primates, rats, flying, balloons—"

"Hey, balloons pop really loudly and it can be very startling," you reason, huffing. "And flying and heights are a single point, okay?"

"—Blood, needles…"

"Worms."

"Nightmares."

"Oh," Chaewon concludes with a pointer finger in the air. "And snakes!"

"The only other Gryffindor who can come even close to giving Y/N a run for her money is Myung Jaehyun," Eunchae adds, throwing another bean into her mouth. "And at least all his fears are on the ground; that guy turns into a whole different person in the air, dude."

You pout harder, scrunching your nose up and swivelling around to grumble into your lap. Eunchae giggles, finding some amusement in how cute you look when you're sulking. Chaewon just throws her arm around you from the back, squeezing your petulant form like she always did.

Eunchae offers you a jellybean as a peace offering. You pout but open your mouth anyways so she can toss one in.

"Scaredy cat Y/N is still our Y/N-ie," Chaewon appeases with a peck to your cheek; you pout harder and she giggles.

"Our lovely cowardly lion," Eunchae sing-songs, grinning.

They're not entirely wrong.

Scratch that—they aren't wrong at all.

Gryffindors were built on chivalry and guts. True blooded lions—hot-headed, competitive…determined—all bared teeth and fire. You, though, on the other hand…

Your list of fears exceeded your strengths. Sure, you could manage a decent petrification charm in the face of a pixie, and sure, you were the first in your year to fight off a boggart—but that was mostly because the shape-shifting creature couldn't decide on what phobia of yours to pick on; your brain had kept racing between ten-foot tall pythons and the image of Professor Park gifting you a giant, red FAIL on your Potions essay. Eventually the boggart confused itself to death.

So yeah, you're not made for the Gryffindor life.

Sometimes you even wonder if the sorting hat was stupid enough to make such a silly mistake with you. Surely, it should have known the second your eleven year old self sat on that wobbly stool and begged for the nicest house to take you in, hoping to get through your schooling unscathed. "The house that bullied the least, please," was your tight-lipped plea.

The hat has a cruel sense of humour for putting you in the midst of the Lions, you think.

"See, at least you're aware of all your fears—you even keep a list in your diary—I'd say knowing yourself is halfway to improvement," Chaewon tries, but you cut her off with a loud sigh.

"The only reason I know what I'm scared of is because Taesan has experimented every single one on me…"

Eunchae muffles a laughter behind her palm, and when you turn to glare at her, she feigns it as an attempt to stuff her face with candy.

"That's," Chaewon is racking her brain for any excuse to make you feel better, coming up empty. "Surely, he hasn't tried everything…?"

You huff, give her a long and pointed stare, and then dig into your satchel on the floor to bring out a thick, leather-bound book. Diary. If found, return to L/N Y/N, it reads.

Flipping open to one of the first few pages, you inhale a sharp acidic breath and begin to read—though it comes out more like a spit of words than a steady flow of sentences.

"First year, a Slytherin kid—you know who that is—stuffed a pocket dragon into my robes during flying lessons and my clothes caught on fire," you bite down on the words, chewing on them and spitting them out. "Professor Jeon told him to apologise but he didn't. I cried…"

"Of course, you did," that's Eunchae.

"I cried," you say, lifting your head to toss her a sour look, "and he started laughing like it was funny. He didn't care that he got a week of trophy-cleaning duty as punishment."

"So that's where your Pyrophobia comes from," Chaewon nods.

"And my Acrophobia," you sigh. "And my distaste for Slytherin."

"Hey, some of them are kind of okay-ish," Eunchae chimes in, carefully meeting you and Chaewon's eye. She backs down defensively when it's met with incredulous looks. "I said okay-ish. Some of them! Haerin is super sweet to me; she lets me sleep through Potions all the time and wakes me up when Professor Park does his rounds. Oh! And Chaewon unnie, I've seen the way you ogle at their Seeker."

"Me!?" Chaewon gasps, choking on air. "I wasn't… Sakura just annoys me, alright!? She's always parading around like she's better than everyone else."

"Sure," Eunchae doesn't poke, even though her tone indicates no hint of belief. She masterfully turns to you instead, "Keep going, I want to know the extend of distress this Han Taesan has caused our sweet Y/N."

"Second year," you're only too pleased to satisfy her craving. "Han Taesan—" You slash an angry line under his name with your nail. "—put Whizzing Worms into my breakfast juice. I almost drank it, but Chaewon stopped me, and there were worms wiggling in my cup—"

"I remember that," Chaewon reminisces with a smile; she schools it sheepishly when you swivel around to glare.

"—in my cup, and one almost bit my nose off. I was so scared I almost peed myself. Then I cried."

"And that's why she's scared of worms. Terrified, actually," Chaewon nods. "Didn't he also dig up worms from his home to bring to you?"

"A whole terrarium," you groan at the memory. Twelve year old Taesan had returned from winter break with an entire fish tank filled with dirt, grass, and twigs, and handed it into your shivering hands as though he had brought you a gift, like a cat dragging in a dead rat for their owner, but without the affection that went with it. An apology—he'd said—that his mom had coerced him into make amends.

Oh, how naive you were.

You had taken one look at the numerous wiggly little worms, hands trembling over the glass, and dropped it before anything worse could happen. It had shattered into a million shards over Professor Boo's precious cabbage field.

Granted, it was still a win for him, given the worms just made better fodder for his magical creatures, you had still spent the rest of the day picking broken glass out of leaves.

The worst part?

Being banished to detention for a month with Taesan, having to grit your teeth and bear with his annoying fist yanking at your pigtails, giggling at how easy you were to tease, how easy you were to trick.

"Third year," Eunchae gently pries the diary out of your death-grip, reading it for you lest you bend it in half. "I developed a fear of cats."

She looks up, amused, trying very hard not to guffaw at your pain.

You motion her to continue, leaning back into Chaewon's hug for comfort. Eunchae follows as told.

She recounts the moment back when you were thirteen and still as innocent as a baby rabbit, determined to bust Taesan for breaking out of his mandatory sit-in-silence-for-an-hour protocol for another one of his pranks. You'd barged in to find an empty seat and a suspiciously sly black cat on the otherwise barren desk.

But the moment you'd come back with Professor Jeon in tow, spewing your theories of Taesan jumping out the window on his broomstick—and the Head of Gryffindor assuring that it was impossible since his Stormrider was safely locked up inside the staff office—you'd slammed open the door to find Taesan casually leant back on the chair, whistling a merry tune at the ceiling.

"Miss Y/N, have you considered using a Reparo charm on your glasses; you can't have missed Mr. Han when he's right there," Professor Jeon had offered unhelpfully.

You had almost lost it right then and there.

Almost.

"I DON'T EVEN WEAR GLASSES!" you had flailed, but the Professor kept insisting you go visit the Matron for an eye check.

You could handle a lot, but the memory of the Professor's eyes looking at you in pity, the bubbling feeling of shame that surfaced to your throat when he had so clearly thought you were making things up—or worse yet, seeing things that weren't there… You hate it. You're terrified of a repeat of it.

You're also terrified of the potential existence of ghostly cats.

"Fourth year—" Eunchae begins but Chaewon slams the diary shut, aware of how you'd gone so still suddenly, mind floating far away, a stone sinking into your belly.

"Prefect duty soon, c'mon," the girl announces, helping you up by the arms. Her short dark hair sways as he grabs your wrist and pulls you along towards the common room entrance, making sure you've got your wand on you. "We'll see you later, Manchae! Patrol and meeting might take some time, so don't stay up for us!"

Eunchae waves back with another clump of jelly beans squeezed into her cheek.

The stairwell is dimly lit when you step outside, a criss-cross of railings running over and underneath each other, several feet of empty space between them. You immediately take the hand that Chaewon offers, too terrified to trip and fall to your untimely death. One would think it has to do with the phobia of heights again, but deep inside you know that there's a bigger fear of having your body be discovered by a bunch of stupid Slytherins—or in the worst case scenario, the image of Han Taesan guffawing at your obituary.

"She's not going to sleep early," you comment fondly, even though it's pretty redundant. As sure as the sky is blue, the youngest of the trio has always stayed up to gossip once you and Chaewon returned back from your responsibilities—a tradition since she'd bulldozed her way into your friendship a few years back.

Chaewon grins back, matching your softened gaze. "When has she ever? That girl talks more than she breathes; you'd think the world is about to explode tomorrow the way she simply has to know everyone and their mother's business."

"I think those Fifth year friends of hers enable her too much… "

"Who? Woonhak?" Chaewon giggles, swinging your arms as you turn around an alcove. "I hate to say this but I think the blabber-mouthing might be an official Gryffindor trait. That Kim Woonhak knows half of Hogwarts' business, and if he knows, Manchae knows."

"And if Manchae knows, everyone knows," you finish for her, sighing with an exasperated shake of your head. "Do we coddle her too much?"

"Hmmm…" Chaewon pretends to think for a beat, then meets your eyes with a chuckle. "Totally."

"Ugh, that makes us the enablers."

You're giggling, letting the evening air settle onto your skins, when your calm is disrupted by the sound of a boy talking in the distance, and the uneasy feeling of dread spiralling inside you.

"Powdered Poison Ivy for two Galleons!" Keonho entices a passerby, luring them in with a neon-green can of something evidently illegal. "Sprinkle some into Professor Park's collar and get two weeks of Potions off!"

Chaewon and you exchange weary glances.

The closer you creep, a free hand wrapped around your wand, you come to see exactly what you expect.

Seonghyeon sits to the far right, rearranging a long line of Extendable Ears and Inflatable Tongues on a pair of boxes pushed together and draped with a silky cloth. And between his two third-year minions, sits—no, lounges—Han Taesan. He wears a smirk at the corner of his lips; it extends as those sharp eyes move to notice you, hair messy, necktie askew and tied wrong.

You have the burning urge use it to choke the living daylights out of him.

"Y/N," he drawls, perking up at once—like a cat marking its prey. "Here to buy a Kissing Concoction? I fear it only works on humans, though. I'm still working on a formula that affects the Amphibia."

"I was not kissing Mr. Ribbit!"

Chaewon grabs your arm to ground you before you can shriek embarrassingly high.

"Excuses, excuses." Taesan clears his throat, getting up to part his robes. For a second your pulse raises, but then you see what he's showing you. "Handmade and proven to yield results."

A neat array of pink, bubbling vials line the inside of his robes, clearly stitched or magicked into place. Some are bright magenta, fuming dangerously, smelling like something minty mixed with apples and newly brushed fur, clouding your senses.

"We've got all the varieties—Heartbreak Teardrops, Twilight Moonbeams, Beguiling Bubbles," he says almost proudly. "Created to perfection by yours truly."

Keonho pokes his head in to chime in with an, "After effects may include nausea, uncharacteristic vertigo, and death!" His smile is exceptionally bright on the last item.

Your eyes dart between the three of them, processing the audacity of the scene before you.

"You're selling Amortenia to students!? As in, number one on the list of contraband items banned in Hogwarts?"

"Semantics," he rolls his eyes. You hope it gets stuck far up his skull. "We don't use words like illegal and contraband in modern magical systems anymore, tsk. The more appropriate word is 'suggested against'."

"You're dealing it to people; that's illegal!" You stomp your foot in exasperation. Chaewon sighs.

"… Okay yeah, maybe I am dealing—not that I like your little muggle vocabulary all that much," he responds in ease.

Taesan stands so casually, so normal that one would never think he'd been just leading a love-potion-smuggling ring around school. Everything would be suave about him—if it isn't for the juvenile quirk of his lips that reveals just the corner of his teeth, and the way he raises a single brow in victory. Like some kindergarten playground bully.

It sparks a fuse in your brain.

"I'm gonna report you, Han Taesan. Oh, I'm gonna bust you so hard that it'll go down in Hogwarts Prefectorial history!"

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

You grip your wand tight, ready to spring an Immobulus on him, but your hands barely make it out when you hear someone loudly clear their throat behind you.

"Shouldn't you be on patrol?" the Head Boy muses, brows knit.

Park Sungho stands there, his Ravenclaw robes neatly ironed, his badge shiny and good as new, not a single hair out of place even after the tens of hundreds of classes you knew he was taking for his final year. Picture-perfect as always.

"It was him!" You throw an accusatory finger in Taesan's direction, eager to end his unlawful joke-career once and for all. "Taesan's selling love potions to students—a direct violation of the Hogwarts penal code, Article 1, Subsection—"

"She's being dramatic," the raven-haired Slytherin yawns, and you whip around. "I was just selling off my old Potions apparatuses to first years that need them. Charity, if you will. Unless that's illegal too." His eyes narrow mischievously, glancing from Sungho to you.

"Sungho, I swear on the Head Girl—"

"Don't swear on my girlfriend; she has enough on her plate," Sungho sighs, though the way his face lights up at her mention is undeniable.

"I swear on my pet toad, he has extremely dangerous goods stored inside his robes."

Taesan doesn't even flinch; when Sungho prompts him to show, he simply pulls the material apart with a bored roll of his eyes.

Instead of the prior rows of potions, you're met with just empty space and fabric.

"Huh..? But—"

"Taesan hyung is telling the truth." Keonho nods, blinking his angelic eyes up at Sungho, and Seonghyeon joins in alongside him with several innocent bats of his lashes. Those absolute gremlins.

"Do not listen to them!" You jump in front of Sungho to block his view lest he falls prey to their conniving charms. "They're Slytherins; you know… Snakes!? I can prove they're lying, look!" You swish your arm to point at the makeshift table, hoping to dramatically unveil Taesan's gimmicks.

Instead there's some old, empty cauldrons, a worn out brass scale to match, and three pairs of seemingly innocent eyes blinking up at you.

"Enough, Y/N." Sungho nurses his forehead, tired. "Anything else?"

"But…"

"If that's all, I expect the two of you to be at your mandated spots in five minutes. Nothing more. Understood?" His voice is sharp, lacking any cruelty but still hitting a sour spot. "Oh, and figure out whatever this immature thing you've got going between the two of you. Both your houses are getting points taken off the next time I catch you in the act."

You hang your head, nodding slightly, letting Chaewon do the talking before the Head Boy marches off towards his Common Room.

"So…" Taesan's slimy voice interrupts your woe. "That's a no to the love potion?" When you look back up, he's flipped the hidden inner layer of his robes to reveal his merchandise tucked safely underneath (an innuendo you'd curse your brain for thinking of if you weren't preoccupied). "Good ol' magic trick. And it doesn't even need a spell! Muggles do have their occasional genius," he nods approvingly.

Deep breaths, Y/N. Deep breaths. You suck in air, ignoring every cell in your body pleading to melt into a puddle onto the floor. Tears prick at your eyes where they threaten to fall.

But you shouldn't. You can't—not when Taesan looks as though he's patiently waiting for it to happen, a gleeful smile ghosting at his lips.

"C'mon." Chaewon's voice steadies you, turning you around to move past everyone. "He isn't worth it."

Even as you shuffle away from prying eyes, even with Keonho and Seonghyeon's excited voices following you, making a ruckus as they pull out the quickly hidden joke items from underneath the chairs and table, and some from thin air, you hold it all in, blocking the bubbling feeling of resentment in your chest.

The only thing you fail to shake off is Han Taesan's watchful eyes prowling at your movement, carefully following you until you're nothing but a shadow in the distance.

The prickle at your nape lingers long after he's out of view.

THE ART OF IGNORING YOUR MORTAL ENEMY

It starts like this: an advice, and you reaching your final straw.

"Ignore him so he gets bored of you," Eunchae had mumbled through her breakfast the next morning. "Ooh! Or double down and get more spiteful; that way you can intimidate him into backing off."

"Does this face say anything remotely close to 'intimidating'?" Chaewon deadpans, holding a palm under your cheeks. You nod, agreeing.

The conversation naturally detours to other things—classes, hefty amounts of homework, mixed with the occasional croak of Mr. Ribbit every other beat when he wants you to feed him blueberries. (Thank god for his affinity for fruits and veggies, because no way in hell were you about to touch a worm or a cricket by hand).

But when you lay in bed that night, tossing and turning and unable to get Taesan's evil smirk out of your head, your mind strays back to Eunchae's words of wisdom. Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

Maybe that's what it would take to finally get the Slytherin off your back, to get him to pivot to a different target—some other poor soul you didn't think too hard to empathise for. You end up pulling out your diary from beneath your pillow, switching on your wand-light and turning to a fresh page to scribble a wonky THE ART OF IGNORING YOUR MORTAL ENEMY at the top.

And so it begins.

With the Quidditch season in full swing, you see less of Taesan these days. Maybe an occasional smirk from across the Great Hall, sometimes an 'accidental' bump into your shoulder when you're just trying to make it to class. And each time he does it, he turns around with a casual "Oops".

He compensates with what little time he does get.

"We'll be working with non-verbal defensive spells for today's class," Professor Moon, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher announces, tying her long blonde ponytail back, prompting everyone to get into stance. "Each of you pick a partner from the other house."

This earns multiple offended gasps from both sides—the Slytherins and Ravenclaws grimacing at the simple thought of having to breathe the same air as Gryffindors. Unfortunately, the Hufflepuffs didn't share the same hours; without the resident peacemakers, the two groups fume from opposite ends of the room.

"Quick," the professor's voice is cold as ice, even when she barely lifts the volume.

The sixth years obey, albeit begrudigngly. Gyuvin ends up sulking in front of Ricky from Ravenclaw, making Gunwook look like a withering flower as he's forced to separate from his friend.

You yourself are no different—dreading this demonstration already. Chaewon offers you a sympathetic look before sprinting off to get dibs on Gunwook before she's stuck with a less tolerable partner. The room reeks of sulky teenagers.

One person, however, seems more than happy to oblige.

"Shame I haven't seen you in a while," the sleazy voice greets you, goosebumps springing up your neck. "Did you miss me?"

"Like a bullet to the head," you mumble under your breath.

"What was that?"

Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

You huff, turning away at once, not dignifying him with a response.

"One person handle the offensive charm—the choice is yours—and the other person will defend with an appropriate counter spell, got it?" Professor Moon is met with tired nods; she takes what she can get.

Taesan turns to you with a sly grin. "You wanna shield? All that practice from Boggart training must have worked like a charm."

He's talking about the time he stole a Boggart from the class cabinet and let it loose in the Gryffindor common room while you fell asleep on one of the armchairs. You'd woken up to the painted face of the clown of your nightmares, staring down at you with ballooning eyes.

And Taesan, ever the opportunist, had waited until you ran out screaming, tripping over the tiles and dry heaving onto the floor, to offer you a supposedly helpful hand—which you'd taken gratefully because God, were you naive.

His hand had come off in one swift motion, and you ended up crying even harder with a fake arm hanging loosely from your sleeve.

Not your best moment.

But it did force you to pull all-nighters to perfect your shield charms.

"Hm," you agree to his suggestion, giving nothing more for him to weaponise against you. Taesan shrugs, flipping his wand in one hand, drumming it on his thigh until you've taken your stance for the duel.

Ignore him so he gets bored of you, you remind yourself, internally taking a deep breath.

"Bow," the professor instructs, and you do as told. Taesan does it too, but his is a bare quirk of the neck and an evil smile that could be akin to a psychopath's if it were any less dopey. "Count of three—one, two—"

Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

"—Three!"

Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

Ignore him so he—

Taesan hits you with a silent stunning spell which you almost fail to react to. Your mind rushes through the category of defences until you decide on Protego, deflecting his shot of green just in time.

"Definitely improved," he quips. "I remember the good old days when you would have been Stupefied with a single stunner."

You open your mouth to argue, but shut it just as quickly, remembering your mantra.

Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

Taesan quirks his brow in curiosity, slightly confused by your reaction—or lack thereof. He decides to test your tenacity again, throwing a motion that matches the pattern for the dangling jinx.

You deflect it once more; a relieved sigh settles in your chest, and you squeeze your wand in triumph.

Taesan doesn't take kindly to your composure. His lips twist into a displeased scowl, carefully observing you before he fires another bolt of green towards you.

You repel it at first, but before you can ready yourself, he begins shooting another, then another, then more—without any sign of stopping. You dodge all of them with what little natural instinct you have, the last of them singeing the hem of your robe.

You stare at him incredulously.

"What?" he shrugs, as though you were the madwoman between the two of you.

Ignore him so he gets bored of you—Eunchae's advice rings inside your skull; you right yourself once more, wand at the ready.

Taesan clicks his tongue, clearly unimpressed.

He shoots the same spell once more, and you successfully foil his attempt.

"Have you gone mute?" he sounds annoyed. "Non-verbal spells doesn't mean you have to leave me talking to myself; it makes me feel psychotic."

When you purse your lips and refuse to respond, Taesan's face twists into something bitter. He bites the inside of his cheeks, chewing and prodding a tongue against it, eyes narrowed to a glare.

He's angry.

Green zig-zags past your shoulder, followed by another at your feet that you have to duck to deflect—the speed of them accelerating at an alarming rate and making your pulse jump out of your body. Taesan keeps stepping closer with each spell he throws, crowding you into a corner until the cold wall of the classroom hits your back. You can barely see the rest of the students from his shadow looming over you, wide shoulders blocking your way from the safety of the outside world.

You may be screwed, to say the least.

"Keep pretending I'm air and I won't stop," he snarls, finding some satisfaction in the way you gulp.

You shove your panic and fear aside, meeting him head on with a shake of your head.

Taesan's grin grows; just when you think he's slowed down, he blasts a line of green at the spot over your shoulder, too fast for you to predict what spell it is.

It doesn't take too long for you to find out.

"Serpensortia," Taesan says as he smiles down at your cowering form. "A Slytherin speciality—just for you!"

He'd hit you with the fucking snake summoning spell, conjuring a living, breathing, hissing serpent that curled lazily around your upper arm.

You begin to choke on your words, too stricken to remind yourself to inhale.

Not again, you think, downright mortified at the deja vu of your current predicament. It lay mixed in with the feeling of your heart thundering out of your ribs, begging to be let out so it doesn't have to witness you being eaten alive by a snake.

"Y/N?" Chaewon's voice finds you, a distant echo even when her silhouette is visible.

Professor Moon says something about reversing the spell, and you slowly feel the weight around your arm melt away, leaving just a bit of an ache. When you come to, you're met with Taesan's stupid pout.

"Mr. Han, see me in my office for your punishment," the professor's voice cuts through the space in-between. "And Miss Y/N, I expect better results next time—defensive spells are the crux of my subject, and your N.E.W.T.s are barely a year or two away. I will not have you taint my name."

"Sorry," you mumble, bowing in apology.

She doesn't wait to hear excuses, dismissing the class when the bell decides to grace you with an escape.

Before you can bulldoze past the threshold with Chaewon in tow, a long arm at the door's frame blocks your path.

"Don't think the threat of detention can stop me," Taesan leans down to whisper, his confidence back at full force now that he's out of the professor's earshot. "This isn't over yet."

He doesn't wait for a response; Taesan is gone as quickly as he came, strutting off with a wink and a mock salute, with all the pomp of someone set out to ruin your peace.

//

Han Taesan, you realise—though a prick—is also be a man of his word.

He plagues you everywhere you go, haunting your vision like a curse on your life. He's sticking his foot out to trip you during lectures, swapping your Mandrake fertilizer with chocolate pudding when you're distracted, even going as far as bribing the House ghosts to sneak up and spook you—trying every possible means to get you to look his way, to pay attention to him.

You make it through by barely saying a word. You grit your teeth, pull yourself together, and wait until you're in the privacy of your dorm to collapse onto the floor and calm yourself down by imagining a scenario where Taesan gets put in Azkaban and you're free of his shenanigans for a long, long time.

A temporary fix.

The latter half of November brings a steady mount of lectures and assignments, the calluses on your palms hardening with how much they press into quills and parchment, leaving ink-stains smudged at your fingertips. Not to mention prefect duty keeping you as busy as a bee, with students growing lazier to follow the uniform code and too many of them slacking off about curfew and rules.

Then there was your inability to say no to every request thrown your way that had also landed you juggling it with club activities, having you sprint from the Gobstones meeting to the knitting club, even though you were interested in neither.

You're dizzy, you're exhausted, and you're fucking hungry.

"Damn, you look worse than Woonhak after a match," Eunchae announces without zero tact.

She's got a lime lollipop sticking out the corner of her lips, around ten shopping bags divided between her two hands. The fifth years had just returned from their Hogsmeade trip while the upperclassman slaved away.

"Clean up duty," you heave, hands on knees. "No time."

"Did you volunteer again?" She shakes her head disapprovingly. "Man, this school really spreads its prefects thin." She looks down at your pitiful state, the far-off look in your eyes that could only mean that you were slowly beginning to black out from hunger. Eventually, she relents. "Here, I was gonna wait until we were back at the dorm, but you need it pronto."

You look up to see her wagging a long golden packet in front of you.

A limited edition Merlin-themed Sugar Quill.

"Got it for you from Honeydukes," Eunchae says, and you see an angel in her stead, singing gospels down at your needy form. "You look like you could use some energy."

She unwraps it and you take it from her gratefully, tears of appreciation prickling at your eyes. It's the first proper food you would have had in days, a golden stick of miracles—it's a shiny new bone and you're a drooling dog, stomach grumbling loudly at the sight.

Chomp.

The light in your eyes dim. Your soul dies.

"I—"

"Tfanks!" Taesan licks his lips, grinning through a mouthful of the quill.

That… that thief!

You stare down at your empty hand, the tiny crumbs of powdered sugar dusting your skin, and feel like he'd just stolen your firstborn straight out of your loving arms.

Taesan cackles loudly from in front, throwing his head back in the purest form of joy anyone has ever witnessed in the history of the wizarding world.

//

Meditation is your new best friend—Chaewon is not impressed at being replaced.

The muggle magazine you'd snuck back from home tells you to follow a series of simple steps: find quiet spaces, count breaths, be mindful of your thoughts. They seem easy in theory, but it takes all of your willpower to really get down to business. You sit cross-legged on the armchair, eyes tightly shut, and try.

It expels your worries for all of three seconds—right up until Taesan's evil presence manifests like a night demon in the corner.

The magazine ends up being burnt to a crisp in the fireplace.

"You're really overestimating my abilities, Y/N," Chaewon tuts, pointing the tip of her wand at the dark shadows under your eye. "Can't you just use that muggle concealer thingamajig like last time?"

"Can't. Taesan ruined it with that colour changing potion that turned my face pink, remember?"

"Oh, yeah…" she replies in apology.

You slump back into the vanity chair, staring up at the little stickers on the ceiling. Mr. Ribbit croaks at a black cat at the windowsill until it slinks away in defeat—but not without a defiant meow and a whip of the tail.

The dormroom is warm and golden under the winter sun, a spill of sunshine breaking through the foggy air.

"You're my best bet right now," you groan. "Doesn't matter if it takes my eyes out, just blast me with that charm."

"Your priorities scare me," Chaewon sighs; regardless, she's already reading out the incantation, following the instructions off The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6 that's propped open in her wandless hand. A light tap against your skin and she withdraws. "There."

Tilting your head, the mirror shows a satisfactory job; you no longer share an uncanny resemblance to a ghoul.

"Whew! At least I won't totally embarrass myself in front of the Gobstones club today," you sigh in relief, prodding and stretching your cheeks to recheck.

"Hate to inform you that literally no one in the Gobstones club is exactly the definition of 'cool'—not enough to embarrass yourself in front of."

"Hey!" you gasp, offended. Chaewon challenges you with a raise of her brow, and after a beat of mulling over her statement, you concede with a pout. "Fine, you're not wrong, ugh," you say. "But they're relying on me and I'm afraid to mess up. After Woonhak quit because of Quidditch, they've been at a losing streak. And if it stays the same, I'll be blamed for sure."

"No one's gonna blame you," Chaewon squeezes your hand. "And if they do, I'll Avada their asses."

You chuckle at her attempt to cheer you up, realising it somewhat works.

She bids you goodbye at the staircase, having been stuck with prefect duty over the morning. You hate to let her go, a pout marring your facade, but she promises to find you after your match.

The finals were hosted at the club's usual hangout spot—which was to say the Room of Requirement took the shape of a circular conversation pit, members convening together around a chalk-marked wooden board, multicoloured marbles methodically scattered over it. Enough secrecy that no outsider could slip in without notice; they'd need to accompany a member, or at least, have the intention to play.

When you arrive, the door opens upon your silent request.

"You're here!" Danielle's voice is pure sunshine, accompanied by her signature bear-hug greeting. "I could not take another moment of Jake's goading."

"What a liar," Jake chimes in, stretching as he tosses a marble into the air, catching it with a practised hand. "She was enjoying herself until you came in. Ask Riwoo."

"I don't pick sides," Riwoo says flatly from across the seat. "Unless the side is my girlfriend's. Then I absolutely pick sides."

This earns him several eye-rolls, and a couple agreeing nods from Leehan who stands behind him, massaging his shoulders as though he was about to compete in a wrestling match and not a glorified game of marbles.

The Hufflepuffs chatter back and forth between setting up the table. You take your spot on the opposite side amongst the smaller flock of blues and reds, thanking god there was no hint of green to be seen—you'd have forfeited and ran for the hills.

"You got this, Y/N! All you have to do is wait until Riwoo runs out of wind and strike." Rei pats your arm in encouragement.

"You better win!" Eunchae pops up over your shoulder, scaring the living daylights out of you. "I'm draining your Gringotts account if I owe Leehan even a single sickle." She sticks out her tongue in his direction, which he simply shrugs off with the exact nonchalance of a flobberworm.

You clutch your weak heart as Rei laughs at the sight. "What are you doing here!? I thought you had O.W.L mocks…"

"Meh," she waves it off in disgust, rolling her eyes dramatically. "This is way more entertaining than having to sit through Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration for the hundredth time. Like…we get it dude, Gamp had issues. Why make it our problem?"

You ignore scolding her when Riwoo places his last marble on the outer circle, signalling the game's about to start.

Suddenly, your palms go cold.

You've never been good at regulating your performance anxiety.

But the alternative timeline where you fail, make a fool of yourself in front of friends, and get ostracised for bringing shame onto the long-standing legacy of the Gobstones club is much, much worse.

So you follow the mantra from the meditation magazine:

First, you rid your mind of loud thoughts, focussing on nothing but colours and the blotches of light behind your eyelids, letting yourself loose.

Quiet space, check.

Then, you inhale once. Exhale slow.

Count breaths, check.

Last—

"And, begin!" Jake is already refereeing with a swift motion of his arm. You feel the panic rise, tick tick ticking up your tummy like a time-bomb.

Riwoo makes his play, taking a shot with his yellow stone; it slides across the board and taps on your red, but stops short of the hole at the centre. He winces as you breathe a sigh of relief.

"C'mon, end him," Eunchae whispers menacingly, making sure that Leehan hears. He does—if the way he pouts is any indication to go by.

Right, you can do this. You can win as long as you keep your cool and don't let Lee Riwoo of all people intimidate you. Your hands stop shaking as you direct your energy into your stance.

The split second you flick your marble, a crawling voice ghosts across your nape, "Good luck, Y/N. Try not to crash and burn, yeah?"

Your finger bends a little too wide, the marble flies a little too far, and your dignity ends up falling into the hole along with it. It's met with a squirt of some foul liquid straight onto into your eyes, reeking of garlic and shame. Ugh… Wizards and their knack for modfiying every rule to be somehow more insane than the original.

Jake notes down a point for Riwoo as you rub at your face with the handkercheif Eunchae offers.

The Hufflepuffs would usually be celebrating in good nature now, but every pair of eye is on the person behind you. Your own narrow in fury as you join them.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here," you grit your teeth.

"Watching," Taesan replies easily. "Thought you people would appreciate an audience. Must be new to you, right? You're welcome!"

Eunchae groans. Rei turns around in secondhand embarrassment. Danielle and Leehan just pouts. Riwoo bites his tongue, clearly in a moral dilemma between his house values and his instinct to bite back.

In stark contrast to his fellow Hufflepuffs, Jake has no interest in playing nice. "How did you even get in?" His lips twist acidly. "Didn't know the snake traits extended as far as literally slithering into other people's affairs."

"What, can't I come to support a dear friend of mine?" Taesan quirks his head, a smirk blooming. "Y/N here doesn't want me to leave. Right?" His eyes flick down to you.

You open your mouth to refuse loudly, but then the words begin to float in your mind.

Ignore him so he gets bored of you.

Ignore him until he goes away.

Right. Yes. Ignore the snake in the room and focus on the task at hand. Yes—you could do that much.

Sheer willpower has you turning back to the game, leaving the onlookers stunned, and Eunchae proud of listening to her. Your first move succeeds smoothly; Riwoo's marble gets knocked out of the circle and he faces the penalty of taking a putrid spritz to the face.

"Not bad," Taesan comments. You ignore him in favour of calculating the next move.

The game continues on, with an annoying add-on from him at moments, but otherwise without dents. Riwoo and you go point for point, your focus unwavering as you line up a potentially winning shot. Everyone holds their tongue, waiting.

Everyone that isn't the Slytherin menace of menaces.

"Hmm… terrible angle. Flimsy posture. And don't even get me started on that method," he says in a theatrical imitation of a sage old wizard.

I don't need your opinion. Or your advice—you think instead of verbalising.

It doesn't deter him; Taesan squeezes into the spot between Eunchae and Rei—an easy task with his mountain-like shoulders—and bends down just enough to ghost his gross breath across your neck, the scent of something fruity and wintry engulfing your senses.

"Ignoring me again, hmm? Sure you wanna play that game?"

Your hand curls into a fist in your lap, the other quivering just the slightest over the gleaming red marble. Taesan notices—of course he notices—making him grin into his words. "Nice try… But you'll never escape me."

Just as he utters, the peace of the room dies in a flicker. A dungbomb goes off under the table, blanketing every single person that isn't Taesan in murky dust and the stinkiest odour to grace the earth—rotten eggs, wet cat, and something akin to decomposing flesh. The club members cough into their sleeves, eyes watering. You barely have enough wind to shield your own nose.

"Han," you cough, "Taesan."

"Yes, dearest?"

"Detention until your graduate!"

His voice is bright and shiny when he says, "Oh good! You're talking again!"

As soon as the bomb clears up and you catch your breath, you feel the Gobstones table flip over and something furry run under your legs. Frightened, you jump up onto the couch, scrambling upwards and accidentally landing yourself right against Taesan's chest.

"F-fff…" you stutter, fingernails digging into his shoulders, too terrified to care about anything but the shock of auburn blinking up at you. "FOX—!! THAT'S A FOX!"

"Good to know you can tell your fauna apart," Taesan shoots a toothy smile, unbothered by you clinging to him; he seems more attuned to the terror in your eyes, if anything.

"Han Taesan, there's a fox staring at me—oh my god, why is it staring at me!!??? Is it hungry!?"

"Foxes don't eat witches," he sing-songs when you clamber tighter over his robes, using the necktie as a lifeline to keep your feet off the floor. A melodramatic enactment of the-floor-is-lava. "At least not witches with no spines."

"Get it away from me! Get it away, pleaseeeee!!!"

"Let me think on it."

"Taesan, please," you sob. "It's got that look in it's eyes… "

"That's called confusion. He's seen mouse less chicken than you… or like, actual chicken less chicken than you."

"You—"

WOOF!

Your heart drops again. When you finally look in the direction of the bark, there's a eager looking puppy at its side—droopy ears, brown and black splotches on his back, and a overexcited tongue hanging out his mouth. You swear it winks at you before bumping into the fox, pouncing into a play-fight right over the mess of marbles and wood, cleaving the table into two, uneven parts.

"Why is our club room a zoo, what the everliving fuck?" Jake watches in shock, mortified when the dog tears right into his score sheet.

The only two people who seem to be enjoying themselves are Danielle and Leehan—two sweet Hufflepuffs with sparkly eyes in the face of the baby animals. Leehan even coos at the way the fox snarls at a nearby student, teeth sharp despite its small size.

"Get them both out of here!" you plead. "Leehan, work your animal-whispering magic. Don't you have some sort of enchanted flute or something to lure them away?"

"No. I do have some fresh berries I stole from breakfast up in my room. But I wanna stay and watch," Leehan provides uselessly. Riwoo pinches his nose-bridge.

"How did they even spawn into the club room? We don't have windows…" Rei comments, bearing the only functioning brain-cell in the group.

Her logic gets abandoned in favour of you shrieking loudly as the puppy steps on a marble, squirting the putrid fluid up at you, your violent jerk barely stirring Taesan. Leehan ignores you to crouch down in front of the tussle, approaching with a gentle hand.

Then something lights up in his brain.

"I thought we were banned from bringing animals to the club because of Y/N." Leehan frowns. "I'd have never abandoned Guppy and Snapper if you'd told me earlier."

"Your fish?" Jake raises a brow.

"No, my flobberworms," Leehan says as though it was obvious. "My fish is named Squiggles, obviously."

"Right… my bad."

"People—save the fish talk for when we're not being attacked by wild animals!" Eunchae brings the boys back to the point at hand. "Y/N looks like she might faint—"

BOOM—!

The tapestry on the longest wall crashes down to the floor, sending dust motes flying into space. Sparks go off at the hems of the fabric. A line of fire catching, trickling upwards like water until The Gobstones Club banner dwindles into a blackened rag.

Danielle squeals as it catches onto her robes, using Jake's hands to put it out; he squeals even louder. Thankfully, Rei has the quick thinking to remember that she has the power to use a wand, and flash a quick Aguamenti at her, spraying a jet of water to smother the flame.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. The couch is but a relic of ash when the fire is done with it. And Jake's neatly stacked ledgers on the shelf topple over one by one before he can reach, quickly perishing.

Tiny bundles of fireworks begin to set off in the corners, each boom a wring to your chest. In the middle of absolute commotion, you freeze in Taesan's arms.

It's deathly silent when you finally let yourself down.

"Taesan…"

"I know, I know," he raises his arms in mock defeat. "Detention."

"No." When you lift your face up, it's stiff. Cold. A stark contrast to the scorched room in your periphery. Your voice is venom. "You are, single-handedly, the worst person to ever walk this planet. You are vile and despicable and I don't know why you feel the need to ruin good things."

Taesan's face doesn't change—an apathetic stare, the usual haughty way he looks down at you—but there are signs. The suddenly shallow breathes. A muscle in his cheek twitching.

He's affected.

He's stung.

But now that you've dipped into your emotional trove of anger, something so new to you unlike the plethora of fears it hosted, it flows out with the force of a waterfall.

"I used to think it was because I was easy to pick on… But… time and time again you've shown me that you're just projecting your need for attention onto me. Your itty bitty ego just needs a sink, right? Somewhere for you to empty it into. Well, guess what? I. Don't. Care. Not anymore. You can take that insecure, validation-seeking, big head of yours, and get eaten by a Hippogriff, you absolute pathetic Asshole!"

He stares.

You stare back, a little giddy from your rant. Your chest feels both heavy and light somehow, a feather of pride sprouting inside it.

You did it….

You cussed out Han Taesan. The manifestation of your horrors. The bane of your existence.

You… You were brave!

Every eye is on the two of you, holding their breaths. Eunchae's eyes are watery—like a mother looking at her daughter all grown up. Jake's mouth is open in shock. Riwoo looks impressed. If a pin were to drop on the floor, you would hear it crystal clear.

"I—" It's unexpected when Taesan starts to speak, but he closes his mouth just as quick.

You meet him head on this time, chin raised, voice commanding—a mirror of his from before. "You?"

Taesan blinks down at you, clearly processing the shock of your sudden change in demeanour. It's uncharted waters. You don't bite. You're meek, difficult at most, never one to choose fist over compromise. And in all the years he's known you, you've never cussed him out.

You notice the dazed look in his eyes, the slow gulp that travels down his throat, but the blush that creeps up his neck and ears—they're his to be tormented by, invisible to anyone else.

The fox comes to curl around his leg, and the puppy tilts his head in confusion—as though even the animals were taken aback by the role reversal. The door bangs open at once, and the two of them sprint underneath the couch to take shelter, an almost practised move to stay hidden from outsiders.

"What happened here!?" The icy voice has everyone turn their heads. Professor Park stands at the open doorway, assessing the mess before him. "Names. Now!"

"It was him," you point at Taesan, tired of explaining further. Taesan doesn't argue, nor does he defend himself; he just stares in a daze, feet swaying a bit. For a second you wonder if he's drunk.

"Both of you." The Slytherin Head of House wags a ring-clad finger between Taesan and you. "Professor Jeon's office. NOW!"

The club flitters out one by one, most of their excuses falling to deaf ears before the unforgiving professor. You follow after with enough respect to hang your head in shame.

Taesan stands in the same spot, not having moved an inch.

"Han, do I need to invite you out personally?" Professor Park doesn't shout, but it's more scary this way.

Taesan nods once, blinks twice, then begins to move.

Before the Room of Requirement closes on him, he spares a quick look at your slumped silhouette in the distance, evidently not wanting to walk alongside him to the office.

Instead of feeling annoyance—or the much more frequent feeling of needing to poke at you, to elicit any big reaction from you—he feels… quiet. Quiet but scared.

Taesan wonders if he's genuinely fucked up this time.

And for a beat of insanity, he wonders if he had been the coward all along, not you.

The heat of his ears follows him all the way to the Gryffindor head's office.

to be continued....

── .✦ PART 2/2 (coming soon!)

── .✦ for more hogwarts! aus, check out the signed, sealed, spellbound series!

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