yellow

i can just imagine her being stupidly in love with robin, like giggling and kicking her feet at the thought of her. like she stares at her like shes the only thing that matters in the entire universe. and nancy thinks shes hiding this SOO well because nobody’s tried to tell her otherwise

They find each other while on a backpacking tour of some icelandic glaciers, Robin doesn’t recognize her right away, but El does. they weren’t all that close during their time in Hawkins but it doesn’t stop El from spending as much time by her side as she can.

She introduces herself as Eleanor, but to call her Ellie. Robin finds her familiar and tries to get closer, out of regret that she didn’t spend as much time with El when she was alive. They share stories of their previous travels and eventually their lives; El listening to Robin talking about the party and what everyone is doing now, while El tries to subtly hint that she knows. She thinks Robin’s a safe person to tell.

Robin doesn’t put the pieces together until she mentions that Will’s in art school, El laughs and says “I hoped he’d go, he was always so good at painting.” and Rob just stops and stares at her for a minute before asking, her voice breaking and tiny, “El?” El smiles and immediately gets pulled into a bone-crushing hug, Robin crying and rambling about how happy she is that she’s alive and how sorry she is for never attempting to get closer.

After the backpacking tour ends, they go out for coffee and spend hours and hours talking more. When Robin has to leave Iceland to go home, she gives El her address along with the address’ of everyone else, incase she ever wants to reach out. She doesn’t at first, only sending the rare postcard to Robin, until one year on Will’s birthday.

He checks the mail to find a singular postcard, obviously custom printed, a photo of the ocean. On the back is written ‘Dear Will, happy birthday, thank you for being such a good brother.’ and he just. sobs. he doesn’t tell anyone, puts it in a frame and keeps it as pristine as possible. He finally starts to open up more, to his collage friends, and the party see’s him becoming happier. And if at a reunion he’s asked why, he’ll just say “It’s what El would’ve wanted.”; and if he makes eye contact with robin and sees the knowing look her in eyes, they don’t talk about it.

having one, now two, confirmed queer characters, talking about queer acceptance on one of the biggest tv shows of our time is such a special thing.

i’ve personally dealt with internalized homophobia and guilt since i learned i was a lesbian. guilt for the fact that i will never give my parents the son-in-law, children, wedding or life they imagined for me. But robin’s speech healed something inside of me, made some of that residual guilt leave my chest. queerness is a gift so many people dont understand.