I Care For Myself The Way I Used To Care About You

Use the square breathing technique: 

Square Breathing:

Inhale deeply for 4 seconds

Hold your lungs full for 4 seconds

Exhale for 4 seconds

Hold your longs empty for 4 seconds

I don’t make a lot of posts. I also do not enjoy making serious posts. Period. I go onto tumblr to feel good. It lets me escape the big scary world for five seconds and absorb myself in superheros, MBTI, Doctor Who and video games all at the same time. However, I have never needed to make a post as much as I need to make this one. 

1.  ANXIETY AND PANIC ARE NOT THE SAME THING Trust me. I have both. Anxiety can be a constant, on-going issue that never seems to go away. While it is nerve-wrecking, I would deal with my anxiety for months on end than have a panic attack as often as I do. I am NOT discrediting anxiety. It is a very scary state of being. Your body is literally in a fight or flight state all the time and there is no stopping the worry that comes in even the slightest situation.

2. PANIC ATTACKS Words can not describe how truly terrifying a Panic Attack is. I’m not entirely sure I can describe it accurately. Someone I know once compared it to  being underwater and never coming up for air. A better representation may be being underwater, chained to the bottom of the pool while people who can help you swim by you and watch while you slowly suffocate to death. Trust me, this is NOT an exaggeration. I have never felt more horrified, more alone, more betrayed by the world in my entire life as I have felt during a large scale panic attack. I can literally not process anything. My brain shuts off besides these thoughts: I need help; I can’t tell if this is real or not; Oh god I am going to die; I don’t want to live anymore; Please someone help me or end everything now I can’t take this. I feel so alone in the world that I don’t think the feeling will ever go away and that I am worthless. And yes, my panic attacks can include A LOT of tears and even an asthma attack- but I can’t think to find my inhaler, so I usually end up on the floor unable to breathe.

3. PANIC ATTACKS LEAVE EMOTIONAL SCARS. TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY. One thing most people do not understand about panic attacks is the severity of it NEVER diminishes the more times you have panic attacks. They will ALWAYS be this severe and they NEED to be taken seriously. Nothing is more harmful to a person with a panic disorder than being asked if it was “Just a Panic Attack”. DO NOT ASK THIS QUESTION. PERIOD. Take your friend seriously when they message, call, or ask you for help-Or even to just talk to them. It can be EXTREMELY painful to them if they feel ignored or belittled. I do not know about other people in the following instance, but I loose touch of reality slightly during my panic attacks. I NEED someone there to talk to me and tell me I’m going to be okay. I need someone to help me bring myself back to the world around me. If I trust you enough to be that person, that is a HUGE thing. I trust very few people. It is so painful when those people ignore me or dismiss what is happening to me. It leaves you in a giant uncertain emotional state afterwords that is very VERY difficult to fix. Panic attacks are scary as hell. They’re even scarier when you feel like you’ve been abandoned. The emotional scars that can come from that may never go away

The return of the Thin White Duke Throwing darts in lovers’ eyes ★