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Let's start with the contents page.

Call me old-fashioned or whatever, I really dislike the decision just to leave the chapters as 'chapters'.

The chapters in the series are referred to as 第ｘ死 instead of the usual 第ｘ話. This translates as Death X, because our titular main character happens to die in no time, what a shocker. By simply changing these 'deaths' to 'chapters' the translation already loses some charm of the original book.

As for the chapter titles...

(1) The Hunter Arrives, And He Gets Lost - no, that's not what the 空を飛ぶ part means. It is literal, because Ronald flies in the skies for just a moment because that's what happens in the chapter.

(4) Fukuma Attacks! - I'm convinced the title for this one is based on the fan translations of that chapter title because not even in the anime it's translated like that. The word 襲撃 does mean 'to attack', except there's a small nuance: the word is usually used to indicate that the attack is unexpceted. Again, that's what happens in the chapter.

(5) Shin-Yokohama Will Fall With Flowers - I will admit, this title is difficult to be properly translated into English, which is where the machine failed. Bonnoki is using two different meanings of the word 散る: one is applicable to the falling flowers, another one could be roughly translated as 'to die a noble death in the battle'. The second meaning is what happens in the chapter, because Draluc, well, dies during his encounter with Zenranium. 花と散る is basically just a euphemism of someone dying. No idea why it's suddenly Shin-Yokohama the one dying in this title translation. A human with basic knowledge of the Japanese grammar would not translate it like that, that's for sure.

(6) Can You Hit the Wall and Kill It? - like in the case with the anime's translation (Can a Bang on the Wall Kill Him?), I have no idea why they're specifying and making it worse when we all know from the context the one to be killed is Draluc, so it would be totally fine to translate is as just "Can You Kill by Hitting the Wall?" (This one is more of a nitcpick, I admit it myself, but still)

(7) Grumbling Highway to Success - again, if you know the context, the chapter title makes no sense. Hinaichi doesn't win. Her hopes of getting a serious job (出世街道, path to success) turn into getting the lamest job (転落道, path to failure). Could be also translated as "The Highway to Promotion is the Path to Demotion" but that's

(8) Eros Leading to Metamorphosis - ゆえに ('therefore') is translated wrong. I'll let them slide the omitted wordplay in the title with "love/eros" and "pervert/metamorphosis" because it's hard to show that in translation, it doesn't really matter that much here anyway.

(9/10) Some Idiots Cause a Disturbance in the Hunter's Guild... (Again) - バカ騒ぎ is an adjective attached to the guild, not some idiots. The まだ part in the sequel indicated the guild is still fooling around.

And finally, Draluc's iconic 'sand' scream is now something gibberish. Great start.

Page 3

Someone saw him heading toward Draluc's castle...

Again, I'm slightly nitpicking, but for a reason. Draluc's castle is literally called just Draluc Castle. Poor woman is telling Ronald the name of the castle her son was last seen, and then she adds that the castle belongs to the vampire with the same name.

Continuity error (真相にして無敵). For some reason, the 無敵 part is always translated along with some new added words when it's not the case in the original. "Said to be invincible", "supposedly invincible".

Page 8

Font inconsistency. Despite using the same font in the original, Ronald shouts in two different fonts in the translation.

What you see straught ahead is the castle of Draluc...

The word that the tour guide uses here is not 城 (castle) but 屋敷 (residence, mansion).

Page 9

Mischellanous. Some of the written stuff is not translated and left as it is, without any logic behind such decision. On this page, Draluc's buns with his initial D are not translated. Draluc's games referencing the very well-known ones are also left untouched.

Page 10

I was picking out a QSQ software.

Where do I even start with this...

Most of the time the word ソフト in gaming spaces does not mean a short form of ソフトウェア (software program) but a short form of ゲームソフト (console game). Sure, technically speaking a game is a software, but I've never seen any casual gamers call it "software" even once because imho the word software has a slightly different meaning than when you say a video game.

And here we have an elementary school kid calling it a software. When he was literally shown picking a game on the previous page. Dpmo.

I ended up staying late because I was playing until I completed the game.

He did not complete the game. That's part of the reason why he runs away and continues playing later on.

Most of the time, author's notes (aka Bonnoki's additional comments) are usually introduced via a character saying something and the line being marked with this ※ reference mark. For some reason, this reference mark is erased in translation.

Page 11

Don't think you can beat me in my own castle, brat!

No idea why they decided to add the word brat that wasn't in the bubble in the first place. We know already that line is addressed to the kid.

While technically it's the correct transation, Draluc refers to him as 小僧 in the chapter, which is more polite than Ronald's ガキ, usually translated here as "brat". Draluc is yet to go through his polite-to-rude speech change, so of course he's referring to the scooter kid politely, with the only time of him using "brat" as a reply to Ronald's previous speech where he refers to kid as such. However, the translation fails to adapt this nuance in their speeches. (No idea how it is in the dub, but at least in the English subs they do refer to him differently, with Draluc using "boy" and Ronald using "kid" and they were always consistent with this)

Mischellanous. Due to the pics limit I can't post every case of the manga being inconsistent with Draluc's 小僧/Ronald's ガキ so I'll just write them down if there are any in the remaining screencaps. While I can close my eyes on Ronald's inconsistency and sort of excuse it as a PR persona vs. real persona slipping up moments, all the Draluc moments literally have no excuse.

Bratconsistency x1

Page 13

The のに part is missing in the translation. Ronald is technically continuing hiss speech from the previous page, hence のに.

However, if anything happens to the client's kid...

Also... Bratconsistency x0.5 (Like I've mentioned before, I can at least (sort of) excuse Ronald's lines, but still.)

See? Your long-winded speech made us lost track of the brat.

Made us lose track.

Bratconsistency x1

Page 14

...little punk

Doesn't even count as Bratconsistency because it wasn't in the original lines. Ronald doesn't call out to him even once during this scene because he does it in the next one.

Page 15

This is a popularity business. Going viral for the wrong reasons is the scariest thing.

I rather prefer "online backlash" from the anime as the translation for the 炎上 because (imho) "going viral for the wrong reasons" is too vague and could mean anything.

All right! You go give that kid a Wii or something!

It's Vii.

Page 16

Mischellanous: Ronald's book cover is not translated. Again, no idea what's the logic behind translating some things and leaving some of them untranslated.

Damn. That little brat...

That's not what he said.

Page 17 (+ bonus Page 22)

Become minced meat along with the kid, vampire hunter!

Again, that's not what he said. He just says they will become victims of said traps. The anime subs got it right.

Hey, there was some kind of beam-emitting device in there!

I have to admit, this was the moment I gave up and had to laugh out loud, for the completely wrong reason.

Ah yes, I can totally imagine a really pissed off Ronald, after almost getting himself killed, saying "beam-emitting device" in his politest voice ever.

At least on page 22 he says something more in character. Wait a second-

It's the thing that shoots beams from its eyes!!!

Eye. One eye. Also inconsistent with the name from page 17.

Page 18

Font inconsistency. When Draluc is being fried by lazers, his speech becomes pixelated. While the font slightly changes, it's nowhere close to the original line in terms of style.

(Ronald) C'mon, one look and it's obvious the place is full of traps. Don't mess with me. (Draluc) You went in even though you could tell there was a trap at first glance?

Draluc's reply makes no sense. Not to mention that's not what he said. "You could tell that at first glance, and yet you still went in?"

Page 19

Mischellanous. Again, the poisonous gas button is translated on one frame and left untranslated on another.

Page 20

I mean, wouldn't it be harder to actually get fall traps that obvious?

???

???

You either choose "to actually fall for such obvious traps" or "to actually get caught in such obvious traps", not both at the same time.

Page 24

Mischellanous. Again, Draluc is being fried by lasers and his speech is in pixels. No pixels for the translation.

I totally forgot about the poison gas!

Poisonous gas, you mean. Proofreading seems to be nonexistent.

Page 27

The gag of Draluc's sand sfx being reversed when revived is nonexistent in the translation.

Page 28

Gah, sunlight!!!

Font inconistency. Draluc's "gah" should also be enlarged.

Draluc Castle

They finally got the Draluc Castle name right, too bad it's inconsistent with what was introduced before, huh.

***

And lastly, for anyone thinking it gets better later, have some moments from the extras. (No pics since I've reached the limit and I don't want to be hit by a random copyright)

Special Thanks Page. They translated the address but decided to leave out the part mentioning Bonnoki's editor and his assistants.

Character Notes. 兄弟 from Ronald's note is translated as "brothers". While typically it does mean exactly that, we know from context 3兄弟 means "three siblings" because we have Himari, Ronald's sister.

Extra Bonus Story. Oh boy. Firstly, Ronald-Donald joke doesn't land if you have a Ronaldo-Donald combo. (Another win for Ronald truthers) And if you don't know why their names are suddenly spelled as "Ro-na-lu-do" and "Do-ra-lu-ku" to make the joke work, don't worry, they just gave up on adapting the joke. Secondly, they also gave up on the Funamushi-Hinaichi joke adaptation and wrote "Funamushi (Ligia exotica)" and I wish I was kidding.

Uso/Fake Preview. Despite being a two-page spread, the text is placed as if it's two different pages. The fact it was even approved makes me frustrated. The grammar is also messed up at one point.

Back Cover. Again, another proof that this translation lacks proofreading.

The translation of the frame on the cover does not match the one in the actual book. ("That cocky brat… Mocking us with those fancy kickboard moves." (book) vs. "Why you little... Mocking me with those kickboard skills!" (back cover))

The description of Ronald and Fukuma's frame: "Clothes being torn into shreads by editors with his battle axe...?!" Again, zero understanding of the context and zero proofreading. Fukuma is one entity (so far...), where did multiple editors even come from?

Speaking of proofreading, the synopsis also (sort of) lies about the premise. "In order to find the missing children, the vampire hunter Ronaldo came to the castle of the supposedly invincible vampire and true ancestor, Draluc. <...>" One. Missing. Child.

Closing thoughts

Objectively speaking, I can't prove that this translation was done by AI, but I also can't prove that it was done by humans either.

The reason why I'm even making this post is because I'm frustrated and very disappointed. Some of Bonnoki's jokes might be either too niche (I swear I've learned more about the Dragon Quest just from him than my gaming circles) or too clever for the translation that a human hand will always be required, no matter what. If I don't have any guarantees that these jokes will not be butchered by some AI that missed the context or simply doesn't get the joke, then why should anyone bother paying for the lackluster content?

And again, the quality of the volume wouldn't change much even if no AI was used, because then it would mean none of the translators bothered to check if what they've translated before was consistent or matches with what's happening in the book.

And, to top it all, people are asked to pay $5 for this quality on the site.

Unfortunately (?) I don't have access to volumes 2-4, so I can't just check the chapters where AI would be the most obvious or simply check the later content, but I'm afraid it probably doesn't get much better. And if the description on the site matches the one from the back cover like with volume 1, then we have Ronaldo suddenly turning into Ronald three volumes later. Another peak of consistency. (If it's just a typo on the back cover and he's still Ronaldo in the series, it just shows the lack of care again)

I really wanted for The Vampire Dies in No Time to be picked up by some daring publishing company and be properly translated into English with all the nuances. There is a reason why the series is so beloved in Japan among the fans, so I hoped that its chaotic charm would find its way to the public outside Japan.

So far, all I feel right now is sadness. I'm disappointed with how the official English release is being handled right now.

Last thing I will say is this. Do not even dare blaming or insulting Bonnoki for this mess. We don't know the extent of how much he actually knows about it, considering he's been recovering from his injury and not even once acknowledged the release of the English translation.