My Poetry Blog🔏

How do I go on without you? You were my life.

“Devil Sent” Now when I talk about you It doesn’t hurt like it would Now when I think about you It doesn’t sting like it could Now I say your name & I no longer get bothered The memories bring smiles But your name brings denial Denial because I swore I would never file you away into those flings Yeah that category of momentary things You were supposed to be a forever thing & I meant that sincerely Even if it was just platonically I mean you were never just a passing moment for me Nah you were more life changing for me Cuz you had awoken a once dead part of me So I planned to keep you eternally But I guess that was just the naïve me believing in happy endings & believing you were about your word But I’ve gone cold No not with love, that I have enough of But with us & No I don’t regret you, I resent you I feared it before but now I’m sure the Devil Sent you & a part of me blames myself for letting everything you said become more than just words & now you won’t even listen to word I say or even give me the time of day? & when you do, it’s to suggest that I’m crazy I mean it wasn’t just me investing time and money into what are now just memories But I do believe you made it easy to flee the scene DESPITE EVERYTHING & that’s what killed me & my pride was on the line but there wasn’t anything worse than living with the what-ifs curse & I’m sure when I come up in your story I’ll be that girl that fell for you but don’t you dare forget to say that I’m also that girl that had the balls to stand on this stage & proclaim I felt all types of ways & you sat clueless Until I confessed it Yeah it was you who inspired it & you can never deny it Even so now I know it You were in fact both a blessing & a lesson I just hope I had even the slightest impact Never the less these rhymes are that official goodbye I guess it just wasn’t our time & so I’m done chasing my tail, this is farewell I guess I’ll see you in hell

"YOU" You. You came into my life slowly and then all at once. And I can't lie I sometimes think about what life could be like with just us. But honestly I'm scared. Scared to think of what the future might have in store for you and I. Hesitant to move forward in fear of our paths no longer connecting. I'm so on &I'm off. Sometimes I feel like the signs are clear and then something throws me off. And I start to think, I guess you're used to things like that. I'm sure every person you come across treats you right because it's clear you're the wife me up type. But I guess that means the effort I put in May sometimes go unseen. To you it's a normality. To me the realm of factuality is what holds me back. Scared that instead of a blessing you'll be a lesson. And that in reality you...you were sent by those who want to see me break. Those cruel souls that allowed me to see the path of love but lead me to a dead end. And then counter factual thinking begins to play instead. Every thought lead to a different what if. Thoughts that pulled me back when I wanted to give up. Thoughts that made me want to run when I would start to picture a happy future ahead. And so I deleted the thread but you wouldn't leave my head. So much time spent with you but was any of it true? I became so infatuated by the idea that you might be the one that I overlooked the truth. I prayed to god that you wouldn't turn out like the others. If I had my druthers in time you would be mine. I can honestly picture a happy life with you by my side. But reality isn't one to hide and the truth can be hard to deny. And then I stop and think who am I to define what you feel inside? All these thoughts kept in mind. And now I'm left perplexed trying to figure out if you could ever be mine despite the many signs. And yet I wonder from where does all this hope derive? You given me so little rarely ever met me in the middle. Still here I stand with all my cards at hand. Some may call it stupid or naive, call it whatever you please but I'll wear my heart on my sleeve and take rejection instead of deception. Or could I be your one exception? Tell me that you feel a connection and I swear everyday you'll be my selection. Your wants and your needs will never be of objection. But if there was a misconception I couldn't terminate this friendship. You mean much more than these feeling that I hold. And I want you to know that you're worth whatever the road has in store. Be it good or bad I wouldn't take it back. Even if I'm just a story to tell or a chapter with the end, I pray those memories never fail to bring a smile to your face. And when you look back I hope happiness is the only feeling you get. But until then I plan to make it so you never forget no matter how many attempts. Cuz my only intent is to give you the best. But until then the rest is yet to be said...