nana

sighhh

i remember during the mandarin class i took in middle school, we learned about how to say family member terms

ge ge, jie jie, mei mei, ma ma, ba ba, da ge

or greyrose or just greysexual

like maybe its just my experience with romance or that i don’t really want a romantic relationship, i just want someone to be my person

like im not AGAINST have a romantic relationship…. i just cant rlly see it.

btw my boyfie and i havent broken up or anything…… i just think that im only okay with our relationship becoz we dont really kiss or do much “romantic” stuff

we can hang out and talk and sit together and like touch if we want but it’s not like….. boyfriend girlfriend i’d say

im not wven a girl. like i am but i dont identify exactly???? idk. im going through self discovery or something (T T)

like. i go by ANYTHING. like i’ve known since like middle school when i told ppl they could refer to me as “rat.” crazy times….. ( >_<“)

but like….. never a guy. i think being a boy would be great cuz men are so privileged but it’s exactly becoz of those reasons that i just cannot be a boy. I LOVE BEING AFAB IDC

love how this went from me rambling abt my sexuality to my pronouns and identity. so fun for a thursday night

i dont need to get high to feel euphoric

if everything i feel and perceive is becoz of what my brain filters through, i CHOOSE to see everything through a neon rainbow lens in the sense that doing so will equate to fulfillment and everylasting joy

im feeling like that one clip from a movie ive never actually watched but used to hear like every other week

i mean like….. ill say something and get IGNORED but when someone speaks up rigjt after, EVERYONE else responds :….(

idk. maybe im just so unknown and stuff that ppl think im weird <//3

i freakin swear i feel like a chud (T T)

like i DO have friends and i love all of them so much, we just don’t talk as often cus they all have…..their…..own……friends………

ok this sounds sad but GUYS pls.

sighhhh i swear im so cool :(( maybe im just looking for friends in the wrong crowd of people

its okay ill find people who want to be friends!!!!!!

why cant these tutorials abt html and css be for real. PLS DONT BEAT AROUNDTHE BUSH AND PAUSE EVERY SIX WORDS ITS CONFUSING ME

anywya

⚠️ ⚠️FREAKY WARNING‼️‼️⚠️⚠️👀👀

i need someone to finger me. ben drowned ur ass isnt safe from me.

absolute zero to one hundred 😭😭😭😭

genuinely have it on loop and then i just started to think about bucky barnes and my heart just breaks even more

like. my take on the song is being someone who’s made so many mistakes in their life and is trying their best to improve even if they’re a screw up

“i honestly wanna prove that improvements possible” LIKE.

AND. not to mention feeling alienated. “i promise i’m doing my best i just haven’t learned how to be as human as u are yet” UGHHHHHH

it’s worse when you’re AWARE you’ve hurt people that it gets to a self deprecating point. “apologizing for my life and ever entering yours” “i know you’ve got scars of your own but hide my knives before you go”

“you should know that i’m sorry for being careless with you” “lord knows i owe you more than im pretty sure i ever could give anybody” feeling so indebted to people that you’ve wronged

BUT. you don’t know HOW to make up for all you’ve done because you just don’t know what to give “i can’t pin down what normal people want from foreign objects bottom shelf erotic products like me”

me projecting my life onto will wood songs because he always hits close to home

i know he already told me like a few weeks ago and ASKED if he could change his pfp (we WERE matching) and so i KNEW he would ok. i said it was okay and like HEHEHEHE he asked

i don’t open discord often and when i did i was just 💔💔💔💔💔 like okay i KNEW.. but like damn ok like damn ok

what do i even do now???? the only predicament im in is WHATTT do i change my pfp to now cus i have a lot of characters i like

i could do kate the chaser….. she’s honestly my top choice. or i could just leave it as is and giggle and cry 👅

so earlier today while i was brainstorming character designs for my creepypasta hs au a thought hit me.

ben drowned would absoFRUITLY be doing galaxy gas (T T) it’s either he is or he isnt no in between brah like this guy is either the one at parties handing out balloons or he’s making fun of the name

not promoting galaxy gas to minors. or even adults. that shit can freeze ur lungs and other parts of ur body, make u pass out, lead to permanent stop of creating vitamins in ur body, and other SERIOUS health conditions. do NOT abuse ts bro u can DIE!!!

ik ppl will do whatever they want at the end of the day but if u do, do so with caution!! don’t overuse that stuff okur

now im freakin nummmmmbbbb

its kinda cool tho like wow i can touch my skin and it’s like touching someone elses skin except i can simultaneously feel the sensation of something rubbing against my numbed skin right

my dentist was so cool too we talked abt music artists and concerts and jobs 🙂‍↕️

didn’t update u guys until now but he sent me vids of him doing pullups 🤤 i freakin loooove backs. the muscles are just a bonus 👅

freakin love muscles so now im gonna freak him

ik i can write however tf i want i just. don’t Know cus i’m used to both……

sighhh ;-; boiii we’ll figure this out