botox forever

Maybe you went a little further than you meant to in that photobooth last night.  Maybe you wanted another baby, but you’re a housewife raising two boys in a trailer and the husband who was supposed to provide for you died in a tragic pool ladder accident right around the time the morning sickness kicked in.  Maybe you were innocently working on a logic point in your own backyard when you were abducted and impregnated against your will.  Whatever happened, it’s going to be okay.

If you’re lucky enough to put two and two together when you start losing your breakfast, it’s simple and easy: go to any sink and take one pill with plenty of water.

If you don’t know until you stop fitting into your jeans, it’s still under control.  Call a nanny if needed, make sure your pets are fed, and then use any phone to call the local abortion clinic.

They’ll send a taxi to collect you, and you’ll come home a few hours later none the worse for wear – maybe a little tired, but ready to move on with your life.