YaQaamar

When your fiance cheats on you?

I met my fiance for the first time yesterday. I WAS A WRECK WITH NERVES. I threw up in the morning. (What if he didn't like me? What if we just didn't get a long? What if he saw me and decided he didn't want to marry me? What if I saw him and felt that I didn't want to marry him?) ... I mean, forget that we've been engaged for the last 6months and have been talking some what regularly. Forget that we've spent hours on the phone and sent endless snap chats back and fourth (all halal ☺). My nerves kept getting the best of me. I was shaking on the bus (we were meeting for coffee, some walk around time together, and dinner)... but 20 seconds after meeting him, I felt at peace. Like, this guy before me (my reformed wallah bro), he is going to be my husband. He held the key to my heart within a matter of minutes of meeting each other. I was calm, and poised (minus me tripping... twice). I was writing about meeting him in my journal, my last line being "Alhamdallah" got me really thinking. I say it a lot, and I mean it everytime, but I felt the word, that feeling of thank God, and that he is the greatest, i felt it...a lot deeper after meeting Lee.. It is because of Islam, and because of Allah's willingness that he brought Lee to me.. When an arranged marriage was first brought up, it was my friend who introduced me to the idea. I joked with her that I wanted one. We made a snap chat "Find Qaamar a husband, guys!!!" and Lee answered the next week with his parents in agreement, that if I accepted him, that we could marry.. He met my parents(via face time!!) and asked for their permission. They agreed, and wanted us to wait a year before getting married. (American and old fashioned they are! My mother's biggest concern was that we wouldn't know each other and both of us would end up unhappy... my father agreed when he found out Lee was studying to be a doctor in chicago, knowing full well that I have to stay in Portland for my job--no "pre wedding fornication" in his words. lmao.)... but by Allah's will it's been 6 months, and we met for the first time and everything felt right. By Allah's will, I've found my husband through a joke and he's been the biggest blessing to me already. He will officially meet my mother and father in person on Thursday.. He's becoming my best friend already. I feel it.

Sometimes not being politically correct is ok. I was with my superiors when I said this (ranks e5 and e6... Sgt and ssgt). They laughed. I laughed. I confronted their fear of me being a "terrorist" in a non threatening way, and we moved past it. If I can be a hijabi on a military base.. we can all be hijabi's anywhere. Stand up for yourselves, sisters. Don't let people's fear and war mongering hold you back from being you.