Lame and (still) Gay

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

you're out of slugs. you're out of slime.

Not if I become immortal

hey this is the wildest response i've seen on this post. how does being immortal prevent you from running out of slugs and/or slime. what is your long-term slug retention plan?

Imagine being alive in the 19th century and your wife leaves you for a guy with a hot air balloon. I’d probably try to pull my top hat down over the rest of my head so i wouldn’t be able to breathe. or swallow my monocle or something. or get tuberculosis on purpose

;)

at the grocery store i bought 2 limes and a lemon and the checker said to me "two limes and a lemon... Anything could happen"