Due to some shitty behavior on my father’s part, I need $750 asap to pay my June rent to my roommate or the future I’ve worked so hard to get to will be lost!
Here’s the short version of the story:
Over the past four years, I’ve been struggling with depression and poverty to the point where I have holes through the soles of my boots and only one pair of jeans. The social services I’ve been able to access during this time haven’t been enough, and there were times when my problems were overwhelming because I was going hungry and didn’t have enough support to stay reliably housed while I tried to recover.
But I stuck with therapy and case management and fought hard to get better. And now for the first time in four year I heard back from a job about an interview! That was last week and it went great, and now I’m waiting to hear back about the second round for what would truly be a dream job for me.
Here’s the thing. One of the complicating factors for me has been that I’m trans, and not in a safe enough place to come out yet. This job, incredibly enough, would be a job I could keep while I transition. It has insurance and PTO. This job could literally change the course of my life dramatically for the better. The financial stability alone would be a profoundly positive change, but the fact that I could finally live as myself? The thought makes me want to cry.
Part of what’s made my life so difficult is a lack of support from my family, particularly my father, my only remaining parent. He’s wealthy enough to take several international vacations a year, and sometimes he helps me when I ask or will send me hundreds of dollars out of the blue. But he has a habit is suddenly refusing to help me when it’s most critical. I don’t know why, but this just to explain that this isn’t the first time this has happened.
He knows how hard things have been for me, and that I’ve landed this interview. He helped me with my rent last month, and then some. But although I explained how important it is for me to be able to get through the next few weeks until I can hopefully get this job or another one and get some regular income at last… he sent me sent me only a small fraction of what I need. I asked him why, and he said he doesn’t want our relationship to be about money, and the he feels like doing this wouldn’t be helping me get stable. (Those are his go-to lines when he could afford to do something but doesn’t want to part with the money.) I asked him how he could think that when I’m so close to getting a job at last, and he replied he ‘had nothing further to add’.
He’s texted me since to try to guilt-trip me some more, but it’s clear he’s not going to help me any further towards my rent. He didn’t even text me good luck with the interview or mention it at all, but I’m trying not to be bitter over that because what my father just unequivocally communicated to me is that he is worthless as a parent, and it’s time for me to move on with my life. You’d think I would have learned that from my childhood, but we have so much confused love and hope for our parents. I was hoping he would grow up someday, but he’s off on his latest international vacation as we speak and except for texting me pictures of his brunches, he’s not longer replying. I’d like to also add that none of his other children speak to him due to similar behavior.
I can’t risk making a GoFundMe right now, not while I’m applying for work. I will absolutely be googled, since I’m an artist and that’s a huge part of my qualifications. I can’t afford to have this information connected to my name right now, and that kills me. I just…
Friends. The grants, the emergency housing funds have all run out until July. I’ve borrowed and borrowed from friends and I’m at the limit there. My art can’t be sold fast enough to cover this gap. I just. I want so badly to get through this. I’m so close. The interview went so well, I’m qualified, and even if this specific job falls through I have other applications in and am working on more.
Is anyone in a solid place who could afford to help me with this? Or who’d be willing to boost this post?
I’m putting the link to my paypal HERE to avoid putting me legal name on this for the same reasons I can’t do a GoFundMe right now.
Please. I’m so tried but I’m also so close to the end of this long and often awful chapter in my life. I unfortunately need a little help getting there.
Thank you so much for reading all this way. Please wish me luck, and again! Happy Pride everyone!
izzy806
kaledo-art
blakekathryn
gummygunk
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
