かわいいね !

you’d been working on a paint job for a pretty well known racers car for a couple days now. you think the guys name was jeno? you worked at a car shop but you didn’t keep up with that type of stuff. you hadn’t actually met him, but you were the one who’s been doing all the paint work for him. a new shiny coat on his expensive car for his show. you’d kill to have a car like this, it was nice as fuck.

you heard the door open and you realized it was probably him. you forgot that you hadn’t called to let him know that it’d be another day as the car needed some more time to dry. you fully prepare yourself for him to be a little angry, but you could’ve never prepared yourself for what he’d do instead of throwing a few snarky remarks at you. he walks up to your counter and eyes you up and down with an almost confused look on his face before he looks back at his car and turns back around to face you.

“i’m here to pick that up. should be under the name jeno.”

you cough before biting the inside of your cheek preparing for an outburst of some sort.

“sorry sir, it should be fully dried by tomorrow. it’s still a bit tacky.”

you swear he gave you a dirty look, but whatever, it was better than him screaming at you. you couldn’t speed up how fast a car could dry. if you could, you would, it’d make your job a lot easier.

“are you the one working on my car?”

“uhm, yes?”

he scoffs before looking back over at his car once again. he mumbled a “no fucking way…” under his breath and you just rolled your eyes before turning around to reach something hanging on the wall behind the counter.

“so then you wouldn’t know if it’s done or not.”

you still for a second and laugh slightly under your breath before you turn back to face him. what the hell was he talking about?

“sir, i worked on it, therefore i know that it’s done…even if i hadn’t painted your car, which i did, it’s pretty obvious to anybody that your car isn’t done. you can go touch it if you want, it’s still sticky to the touch.”

you hadn’t meant for it to come out with such attitude, but he was literally doing the same thing to you. you knew he was a racer or some shit but that doesn’t mean you should just bow down to him.

“i hope you’re not expecting a tip.”

seriously? he probably makes thousands a month and he can’t spare you a fucking tip? look at that nice ass paint job you just did. a gorgeous bright red, and it’d look even better when it was completely dry and shiny. you just ignore his comment and move over to him at the register.

“cash or card?”

he just slams the cash on the table without making a sound and you go to count it before he opens his mouth for yet another snarky remark.

“you really think i didn’t give you enough? you think i don’t got enough money, huh?”

you have to hold back from giving him a dirty look which was insanely hard by the way, and you’re sure you gave him some sort of look anyways because he made sure to give you a nasty look right after you had felt your eyebrows scrunch together at him.

“i have to count, sir. it’s got nothing to do with my personal beliefs. despite you not tipping..”

he slams his hand on the counter and you knew he had heard you.

“so, what? you’re just some greedy bitch who’s tryna empty out my pockets?”

you would have just told him to take the car and go but it’d literally be done by tomorrow and he already gave you the cash and you knew with his status that it’d be made into some huge deal. you put the money into the register and step back before placing your hands against your hips.

“excuse me? you can leave. you can pick up your car tomorrow since you already paid. unless you’ve got anymore questions, you can see yourself out.”

he looks down at the counter for a second before you see his fingers start to grip against the glass.

“i’ve got a few questions actually, ma’am.”

he takes a step towards the entrance of the counter.

“how long you been working here?”

he doesn’t give you a chance to answer before he take another step towards the opening to enter behind the counter.

“you’re a woman, what makes you think you have any business working here?”

he’s standing right at the opening to the counter now and you open your mouth but a small sound only gets the chance to slip out before he cuts you off again.

“you want a tip so bad, right?”

he’s takes his last step and is now fully behind the counter, standing right in front of you and staring you down intensely. you take a small step back and he quickly grabs your shoulder, his finger nails digging deeply into it.

“so why don’t i fucking give you one.”

he immediately turns you over by your shoulder and presses you against his back, wrapping a hand around your waist so you couldn’t get away from him. the place was empty, you were meant to close up tonight. you didn’t know what the hell he wanted. he literally just paid you the exact cash you needed, no way it was a robbery. you curse at him to let you go but he pulls you from behind the counter and over towards his car. he feels you up on the way there, forcing a hand into your pants and attempting to finger you, and that’s when you realized what he wanted and what was going to happen.

finally, you let out at least five screams before he slams a hand over your mouth. you were standing in front of the hood of his car now and you could feel his boner poking you right in the ass.

he continued to shove his fingers into you mercilessly and pulling out every few seconds to add a weak attempt at providing your clit attention. you stomp on his foot and he lets out a pained sound and a “you fucking bitch” before he pulls his hand out of your pants and shoves you onto the still tacky sticky hood of his car. you put your hands onto the side of the hood to push yourself up but he quickly presses his hand against your back to hold you down. you try to swing your arms back at him, hoping to hit something, but it does nothing, obviously. his other hand is still tight on your face and it’s threatening to slide up and cover your nose.

“what’s up with you uptight bitches, huh? thought you wanted a tip? i’d say fucking with a racer is a pretty big tip, right?”

he pushes your pants down along with your panties before you hear a belt from behind you and your pathetic squirms below him get more intense and reckless.

“you wanna be a bitch, right? i’ll treat you like a bitch then.”

and right then, he pushes his dick right in you. no easing, no stopping, he just goes right into you and immediately starts thrusting. you start to whine underneath him and you move your feet up from the floor hoping to hit him, but he just steals your idea and kicks you right in the back of your calf, hard. you immediately scream into his palm and feel like you’re sinking deeper into his car. you just lie there for a little, breathing heavy and you move your eyes up slowly and through his windshield you’re able get a slight look at the situation. you felt disgusting. you could see the sweat sticking to his face, his bangs bouncing with every relentless movement. and from how much you were sticking to the car, your body barely even moved from all the thrusts he was making. all you heard was the slight creakiness and bouncing of the car and his grunts and shitty moans. you hated him.

“you feel how big this tip is slut? wanna complain like a stripper not gettin’ enough money.”

he leans down into your ear and his thrusts suddenly quicken like a machine.

“maybe this’ll teach you not to take men’s jobs. what’s a woman like you even doing in an area like this?”

you whine against the palm of his hand and you just shake your head no. not at anything he said in particular, but just the whole situation. you try to mumble a few ‘stops’ underneath his palm, and you know that he hears them. you know he understands you don’t want this, but why the fuck would he care? was this really all because you were working at a job predominantly done by men…? seriously? when you feel yourself squeeze around him and hear him laugh, you feel absolutely disgusted with yourself and your body. your pussy was getting wetter and wetter, finally making noises everytime that his balls slapped against it. you get frustrated and you start sobbing angrily into his palm, stomping like a child against the floor. you would kick him again, but you knew the next time he kicked you right back, it’d be ten times worse than the first time. and so what if you managed to kick him off of you anyway? you wouldn’t get that far. he was ten times bigger than you and with your pants halfway down your legs, you’d trip over your own feet before you could even get one step in. the only thing you could do was wait until he was finished.

when you feel his fingernails squeeze into your back and feel something leak down your legs, you know exactly what it is and just pray that that’s enough and that this is all over. and when you hear the fabric of his pants brush against his legs and his belt clasp, your hopes have been fulfilled. or at least that’s what you thought. he didn’t release the palm that was on your mouth, only having moved his hand off of your back, now giving you more room to squirm. but he doesn’t let you get up. he moves the palm from your mouth to your head, pressing your cheek into the car and you can only yell so much in a position like that.

“get off of me! take your car and just go!”

you hear him scoff from behind you and you feel him circle his fingers on your clit before sliding them alllll the way down your slit until finally pushing them into your embarrassingly wet hole.

“you’d think after all that you’d get rid of that bitchy fukin’ attitude.”

he continues to finger you but once you feel him push a third finger in, you have to stop a moan from slipping. you try to move your hands up the car to create as much distance as you could between you and him. it became painful to do so as the paint had started to dry to your hands, but you continued anyways. but it wasn’t doing anything though, his fingers only follow you.

“we’re gonna stay here until you stop your bitching.”

and that’s when he slips a fourth finger in and you can feel yourself clench, and this time your body doesn’t let go, holding onto his fingers for dear life and he lets out a sick laugh. the moment you can tell that you’re about to cum all over his fingers, you try to push yourself up the car even more, becoming desperate, but it only encourages him to play with your clit as well now and he pushes your face harder against the car.

“i’m sorry—i’m sorry! okay? you can have the car for free—please!”

he scoffs and ignores your whining and continues to thrust his fingers into you. you became desperate, okay? what more could you do besides beg him to stop? he didn’t like your attitude? okay then, maybe your begging for mercy would detour him! but that’s not what he wanted. he wanted to strip you of any confidence and pride that you once had. he wanted to absolutely humiliate you. and when he saw you finish all over his fingers, he knew that had had. he immediately pulls his fingers out and he slaps your ass while laughing before moving back and you can hear him fumbling with something. you quickly push yourself up off of his car and it feels as if the skin is about to be ripped off of your face, but luckily, none comes off. when you finally free your face from the car hood, you’re met with a sight that would forever be engraved in your mind. your face print was totally embedded into his car. your hand prints littered it as well, and although your work top prevented a perfect outline, your chest was imprinted on there as well.

you quickly pull up your pants and go to move back but he quickly walks up beside you and throws an arm into your shoulder before looking down at you.

“it looks good doesn’t it?”

you just stare at it in disgust and he throws his shoulder off of you before taking a step back, grabbing his wallet and reaching in it before throwing a couple sorry ass twenty dollar bills at you like you were some stripper and a white strip of paper that lands on the car. you pick it up and realize it was a ticket to one of his shitty racing shows.

“you’re lucky i’m giving you one for free, front row too. better see you there, i want you to see my awesome new car design in action.”

he points to the prints on his car and you snap your head up to him, face wet with tears and painted with concern. you didn’t want to keep that shit on his car. so what if people didn’t know that the face print was yours? that’s humiliating as fuck! he squats down to your level as if you were a child and throws a hand onto your arm, squeezing it threateningly.

“if those prints aren’t still there by the time i pick it up tomorrow, i can assure you that you’ll see me again.”

he straightens his knees again, menacingly looking down at you before slowly removing his hand from your arm, dragging out every second before his hand finally drops and he simply just walks away. you just stand there stunned, money surrounding you and his car staring you dead in your face.

you turn to your side to get one last look at it. what were you supposed to tell your boss about what the hell that was? you can see yourself once again in the reflection of the windshield, your face has red paint all on its side and your hair is sticking up in a million different places, bits of paint stuck in it as well. a million showers would never be able to wash away what happened tonight, and a crummy hundred dollar tip didn’t make up for it either.

at first you had struggled, really. but after his hips kept slamming against yours and never slowed despite your hits against him, you just gave up and let your hands drop to your sides. after that, his grip on your hips tightened, his slams against you got more painful, the knife he had laid right next to your ass seemed to be a little more threatening. but you just laid still, hoping that if you just took it all then he’d let you live and leave you alone. but after awhile, he finally spoke to you.

“come on…hit me or something. i promise i won’t kill ya’ for it.”

you stay still. the more he wanted you to do it, the less that you wanted to. it just felt like a trap. if you hit him or pissed him off, you knew he’d do something worse. not an eye for an eye, nah, he’d probably go by “an eye for two legs and an arm”. the only thing you did was squirm slightly and move your legs, but you were too scared to touch him. it pissed him off and at this rate? he was gonna kill you, but then he got an idea.

your eyes meet his as he relentlessly rams into you, merciless, and he sends a smirk your way before throwing his hands around your neck. his grip was tight as hell, and your vision was growing spotty. you couldn’t even let the smallest breath in. you finally reach your hands up and start scratching at his arms, trying to get his grip to loosen. blood was drawing, a lot of blood actually, and it was slowing dripping onto your cheeks. his eyes get more crazed and he throws his head back, mumbling a few yes’s. he squeezes tighter, pulsing his hands every few seconds to tease you and after some time, you couldn’t even see what was happening to you, in fact, you could barely even feel it, your body going numb. for a split second you think you go out of consciousness, but then he lets go and the first thing you see when your vision clears is his face right up close to yours. he grabs your face tightly with both of his hands and you shoot one hand up onto his wrist.

“thanks for helpin’ me out. you finally gonna give me what i want?”

he looks down at your hand on his wrist before looking back up to you, that stupid smile still on his face and you slowly let your grip loosen and let your hand start to drop but then he grabs your wrist, his hand covering the whole thing and he grabs the knife that was right next to your bare ass and presses it on your arm, right below his hand. if you moved, you’d be dead. the knife with slide right across your skin, the blood wouldn’t stop. you’d die right there. naked, fucked dumb, and bloody. tears slip out of your eyes and you look up at him and go to open your mouth but nothing comes out except a very hoarse and broken up “please don’t..”.

“put on a show for me and i won’t kill you.”

you still.

“hit me, scratch me, i don’t care. make a scene.”

he leans into your ear now.

“but don’t think i’m not gonna do it right back.”

he pulls away and presses the knife just a little deeper into your arm and you immediately throw your other hand back up to grab his wrist. if he wanted to pull back and cut you, you wouldn’t have been able to stop him, but knowing that excited him, knowing that made him harder.

“there you go, keep that up. gotta prove to stu we shouldn’t kill you, right? gonna be our final girl.”

he pulls the knife away and drops it to the floor and waves his arm in front of your face, showing off the scratches you’d left him moments before. he pushes himself away from your face by using your neck as leverage and he goes to line himself back up with your entrance.

he wishes nothing but the worst for any women he sees. if the news talks about a rape, he definitely laughs about it with his friends asking about what she wore. oh she was just wearing a hoodie and some leggings? leggings? hm, yeah. she was 1000% asking for it. now you see what happens when you go outside trying to flaunt your ass for a couple of strangers.

anytime he gets a chance with a women sexually, he’s a total asshole. he’s not chasing her pleasure, he’s chasing his own. when he’s done he just leaves her on the bathroom floor or some dingy back alley with cum dripping out of her pussy. he could care less if she gets pregnant. play stupid games then you win stupid prizes. deep down he knows that nobody should even want to get near him, so this is what you deserve. you seriously looked at him and decided you’d let him hit it raw? it just solidifies it all and makes him think “this is why i hate these females.”

he doesn’t outright go looking for a specific women, but if he sees one he likes and she rejects him? she’s fucked. who the fuck does she think she is? he’s probably gonna lace her drink and fuck her despite the protests, how dare she say fucking no to him.

he’s not kind at all. he slaps them around a little, burns his cigarette on them, shit, he even makes sure to spit on them too. he doesn’t just let his cum drip out either, no. he makes sure to shoot that shit all over their clothes and their face. women are nothing but his dirty little cum dump.

he’s always been a gentleman. he’s always held the door open for you, always bought you flowers, always grabbed whatever you needed so that you wouldn’t have to get up. he did everything for you at the drop of the hat. so he just wishes while he pressed into you slowly and while you took all his length, that you could just appreciate how kind he’s been and just lay there quiet and pretty.

he’s taking care of you. he’s being gentle. the only thing making it not so kind is the hold he’s got on your wrists so that you can’t get away. but everything comes with a little pain! can’t you see? you have to like him too, there’s just no way you don’t. he’s done everything to help you. he’s been the kindest man in the world to you, he’s treated you like you’re his world. and you are! so can you maybe just let him get a little…compensation?

he knows it’s wrong. he feels bad when he sees your tears rolling down your cheeks, and that’s why he stops looking at you. that’s why he shoves your face into the pillow. that’s why he stops being such a gentleman and starts slamming his hips against you, just chasing his own pleasure. he can’t take it anymore. can you just stop crying? he doesn’t want to see the tears staining the sheets. he doesn’t want to see the tears dripping onto the shirt he left untouched on you. he doesn’t want to see the tears on you and he can’t stand to hear the actual crying. so he just holds your wrists in one hand and your head with the other.

he’ll start breaking shit. punching walls, shit, he’ll even break your own phone if it’s in arms reach. if you still insist on leaving he’ll say he’s gonna overdose. he tells you that he’ll kill himself if you step out that door while pressing a blade up to his arm. if all else fails, he’ll totally act like he didn’t just beg you to stay and scream at you to go then and not to come running back.

“fine bitch, go ahead and leave! but don’t come running back to me for nothin’.”

in reality, he’s definitely stalking your socials, making fake accounts you haven’t blocked him on, stalking your friends accounts to see other photos of you, visiting the club every night (not that he didn’t already do that) to try to see if you’d show up. after about a month or so of doing this and going out and fucking other girls to get over you, he can’t do it anymore. he’ll send you some fake heartfelt text that he probably used ai to make and call you while making himself sound like he was crying, trying to make you feel bad and convince you that he’s changed and that he can be a better boyfriend. if you fall for it, you’re doomed. the relationships only going to be a million times worse than before. instead of knocking glass over and breaking shit, he might slap you. in public, he might grip your wrist ten times tighter, scared you’ll run away. when he finally lets go, his fingers will be embedded in your skin. he might even guilt trip you into getting a matching tattoo with him. “if you really loved me and forgave me then you would.”

if you really don’t go back to him though, no matter how many times you block him, you’ll get a new video sent to your phone from some unknown number of him fucking a new girl. he sent you the videos in hopes of making you jealous or something. he’s not going to stop for a long time. if you don’t go back to him, he’s going to harass you for the rest of your life. and if you do go back? you’re in for a world of hell.

NAMGYU / PLAYER 124 — would threaten you, would actually harm you

“you’re one funny bitch. you know how much shit i got on you?”

he finds it admirable, honestly. but still, fucking hilarious, that you, you, think you can leave him. what? when did you grow some balls? yeah, no. you just hurt his ego and that’s about the stupidest thing you could ever do to him. he’s not very empty with his threats. if he says he’s leaving? he’ll leave. (for like a week…) if he says he’s gonna hit you? you’re gonna be bruised for a while. if he says he’s gonna kill you? well, you haven’t gotten to that point yet. but keep this up and you sure will.

he keeps every nude and threatens to release it. sure you’re his and all, but that doesn’t stop him. so what if some other guy sees your body? he could care less. now if another guy touches you? let’s not think about what would happen. threatens to send the pictures to your family and threatens to send every sex tape of you two that he filmed behind your back.

“what the fuck is wrong with you namgyu? when the fuck did you film that?”

don’t raise your voice at him. once he hits you and you fall to the ground, he’ll keep kicking at you with his foot over and over until he thinks you’ve had enough. don’t speak up to him, don’t speak against him, and don’t piss him off. just sit there and be pretty, okay? he’s going to be bolder now. next time you two have sex he’s just going to shove the camera in your face. he’s going to manipulate and force you to take nudes for him since you don’t want to anymore after he threatened to send them out. sometimes he’ll force you to strip and then he’ll just take the pictures himself. all in all, sometimes he might just say no and leave it at that. but if you keep pushing, he’s going to threaten you. and if you still keep pushing, he’s going to go through with those threats. you really are just some whore to him, don’t think he’s above killing you.

MYUNGI / PLAYER 333 / MG COIN ★— would let you leave and crawl back to him (except he’s the one who crawls back), babytrapping

“really? fine, if that’s what you want then leave.”

he acts like he doesn’t care because he thinks his annoyance will make you turn right back around to him. he acts like he doesn’t care because he’s trying to not get so bent out of shape about it and move on quickly. but when he hears your footsteps disappear and the door shut, he immediately balls up his fists. you seriously left? he didn’t expect that, but whatever. he doesn’t need you.

he tries to move on but after barely even a week, he can’t do it. he contacts you, but when you block him, he makes more and more numbers. he thought you’d be running back to him, not the opposite. he sends you pictures of you two together in hopes you’d change your mind, but when you just keep blocking him, he’s knocking on your door demanding you open it up. he tries being nice but when you don’t open it, he starts banging on the door. really? you’d been together for months and you’d already gotten over him? no. no no no. you don’t get to just move on! what the hells wrong with you? when you still don’t open the door, he leaves and goes back to his place and sits on his bed while he ponders his next move. he decides for now just to stalk your page and harass you from more and more numbers. he’s not going to stop until you at least respond. oh, you’re gonna get a restraining order? you’re funny. you think that’ll stop him? don’t go back to him. if for some reason you give in, the next time that you two have sex, he’s going to make sure that you can’t leave. he’s sure that you’ll look so pretty with your stomach swelled up.

INHO / YOUNGIL / PLAYER 001 — straight up says no / baby traps / makes you feel like you’re going crazy

straight up, no. you want to leave? no. he doesn’t even care for an explanation on why, you’re not leaving. completely ignores your words and changes the whole topic. everytime you try to say you’re leaving he just completely overrides you with something different.

“inho, i’m serious. i’m leaving you! i’m packing my shit right now and i’m not coming back, i swear to you.”

“what did you want for dinner again? i have to go back out to get some groceries so there’s not too much…”

maybe it’s on purpose, maybe it’s not. but it makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. then he will deliberately go out of his way to make it seem like you’re crazy.

“i’m leaving because of what you’ve been doing behind my back, inho. it’s fucked up and you’re insane.”

“baby, you could follow me around tomorrow. i’ve got no idea what you mean.”

and he says it all with that stupid small polite smile that he gives everyone. you just want to strangle him. if somehow he can get you in bed with him after you just got so pissed, he’ll be more passionate than ever. he’ll treat you nice, focus on your pleasure before his and then quickly when you’re blissed out, he’ll pull out of you, slip the condom off and slide right back in. you don’t notice at all, but he makes sure to tell you like the cocky fuck he is. but he does it while he’s thrusting and when you can tell he’s about to cum. poor you, it’s too late to stop him :(.

“i’m about to fuck a baby in you — agh, i — i took the condom off. gonna have a beautiful—fuck—fucking baby with you.”

how could you leave now? do you have enough money to take care of a child without him? and would you really deprive your child of their father? you’ll get an abortion? he’ll find a way to keep you locked up in your house. you’re still going to leave? he’s going to guilt trip you to the max. and if that still fails? once again, he’s just going to find a way to keep you locked up in your house. he’ll figure it out as you go on, but for now, have your happy little family with him.

KANG SAE-BYEOK — straight up says no

she’s not going to entertain you at all. she might not even say no, opting to just stay silent instead. if you get in her face about it because she’s ignoring you, she’s just going to push you away. if you keep nagging her about it, she’s going to slap you. if you decide not to drop it, she’ll drag you by your hair and lock you in a room. are you stupid? don’t start this shit first thing in the morning.

“saebyeok, this isn’t working. we should go our separate ways.”

“no. did you hit your head or something?”

you should just drop it and move on with your day. nothing you say is going to convince her and if you piss her off too much, like said before, she’s just going to lock you away until you stop sounding ‘crazy’. she’s very cold, but she’s generally pretty nice to you still though. she’s a good girlfriend to you, just a little possessive, but it’s never gotten out of control. you just didn’t think the relationship was working and that it just wasn’t the right time. all in all, if you don’t push to much, you won’t see the shitty side of her that she never shows you. however, if you keep pushing the idea, she’s going to give you a real reason to break up with her.

SANGWOO — would let you leave and crawl back to him

“you want to break up? fine.”

it leaves you shocked at the sound of him not caring. it was as simple as that. you want to break up? bye then bitch! it hurt. it almost made you want to change your mind and say never mind and just stay with him, and that’s exactly what he wanted. that’s exactly why he said it like that. but that didn’t work and you just walked out the door. that’s fine though, you’d come back to him, he knows it.

he makes sure to post old photos of you two on his Instagram. not ones with your face in it, duh, but he posts the photos that you took of him where you’re behind the camera or ones where your arm or your hand is slightly showing. he knows you still stalk his socials. he’s posting these knowing that it’s going to hurt your little heart and make you crawl right back. he leaves every photo of you two up on every platform, not deleting a single thing. for a little while, he even keeps his pfp the same. you two holding hands. whenever he posts something, he always makes sure to put something in the caption that he knows you love. you liked tulips? he’ll put a tulip emoji in the caption. you loved cats? he’ll put a cat emoji in his bio. all these subtle things where you won’t know he’s doing it on purpose, but it’ll be so much of a coincidence that you’ll think this is a sign to run back to him.

he’ll tell his friends to ask about him to you whenever they talk with you.

“how are you and sangwoo doing?”

“oh he talks about you all the time.”

NAMGYU / PLAYER 124 — dacryphilia, hand over your mouth

dacryphilia — loves the sight of your tears from how well he’s pleasing you. he definitely teases you and will make fun of you for it, but he loves it, don’t worry. after the first time he makes you cry, he decides that anytime you two have sex, he has to make you cry. sometimes he’s a little rougher to obtain this. weather that be by pinching your nipples or biting your neck a little too hard, it doesn’t matter, he has to see those pretty tears.

the sight of his hand over your mouth also just gets him going. it makes him feel like he’s got some sort of power over you and he’s living for it. you just look so pretty as your tears slide over his palm, he can’t help himself.

THANOS / PLAYER 230 / CHOI SU-BONG — chemsex

not really an actual term, but hes a druggie and what’s better than doing drugs while having sex with you? and i don’t just mean popping a quick pill in his mouth, nah. doing lines of coke all over you. snorting that shit off your neck, off your tits, off your ass, everywhere. loves blowing the smoke from his fruity vape right onto your clit and if he’s got a condom on, he’ll lay down on his side and have you snort a line of coke right off of his dick. it’s certainly not safe, but if he’s super high out of his mind, he’s just gonna let you snort the coke off of his dick raw. no condom. loves the feeling of your nose rubbing lightly against his dick and the feeling of the air from your nose. got him cumming without really even touching him that much.

for sure takes a hit of his vape before going into kiss you and then blowing it all into your mouth.

“you’re thanos’s girl, yeah? hah, got two of my favorite things together. drugs and your pretty pretty pussy.”

KANG DAEHO — sitophilia, cockwarming

sitophilia — not into all foods, more specifically, whip cream. god, licking it off your perky nipples and licking it off right above your clit and then dragging his tongue down all the way through your folds? he’s already cumming. which on another note, he loves eating you out. might accidentally overstimulate you if he gets super into it.

he also lovessss cockwarming. just pushing into you, bottoming out completely and being cuddled up close to you, your bodies warmth being shared between each other makes his cock twitch. he loves feeling your warm walls melt and tighten around him every so often. everytime you move to get comfortable, you run the risk of him cumming after only a few seconds. the whole situation gets him painfully hard. there’s times where he can fall asleep with you like that. there’s even been times where you’ll straddle his lap, keeping his dick warm while you two sit in a chair at your dinner table and you’re sitting on his lap and you feed each other. everytime you two laugh at a joke or the goofiness of the situation, it’s causes him to thrust up in you or you to bounce on him, immediately causing him to grip onto your waist and press his forehead to your chest as he takes choked up shaky breaths trying to compose himself. sometimes he can last a long time just staying still, content with letting you just cockwarm him. and other times? he’s a begging mess and just can’t hold on any longer.

“baby, i don’t think i can stay still much longer. let me move, please?”

SE-MI / PLAYER 380 — manhandling, orgasm denial, overstimulation, voyeurism

she likes knowing that your pleasure is in her hands. if you want to cum, it’s not your choice, it’s hers. loves pulling her tongue away from your clit right when she can tell you’re about to squirt all over her face. loves seeing you beg for her to let you cum, and eventually she’ll give in. if she’s feeling a little mean, after she finally lets you cum, she’ll keep her tongue attached to your pussy. she’ll keep on sucking it over and over and she won’t stop until you’re crying out.

“what? i thought you said you wanted to cum, baby.”

voyeurism— sometimes when she pulls away when you were oh so close to cumming, she has you make yourself finish. she watches you finger yourself and rub circles into your clit while listening to your sweet moans. she loves it when you can’t do it yourself and you have to beg her to help you.

she also loves manhandling you. doesn’t have to be extreme either. just holding you down by your hips or her putting you into any position she desires gets her going. she just loves knowing she has all the power and the control over you.

MYUNGI / PLAYER 333 / MG COIN ★ — rough sex, vanilla

my mom always told me not to point. but my mom didn’t understand. how am i supposed to show someone something without pointing? how could i show my friend the girl that i wanted by just speaking? nah. and maybe just maybe, i’ll point my finger lower, and lower, and then my friend will point as well, his finger also going lower and lower, tracing your pretty little ass. god i wish i could actually feel it.

my mom always told me to walk a lady home at night or to stay with her until someone else could arrive to pick her up. keep her safe from the people that may try to hurt her, weather i knew her or not. she said it was the right thing to do, and that’s what i’m doing! i was the one keeping you, my pretty slut, safe. i just have my own way of doing things. if it wasn’t me it’d be someone else, don’t kid yourself. thanos would jump at the chance to get between your legs. he’s probably going to do the same thing as me. i might let him or he might just help himself too.

my mom always told me to be kind to others. well, clearly your mom didn’t teach you that. over here pounding on my chest and kicking at me. that shit wasn’t very fucking kind. i’m just helping a women out. sex is normal, it’s healthy, it’s important. so when you think about it, i’m just trying to help you. i’m being kind. just like my mom told me to. couldn’t you show some gratitude? my mom always told me to say please and thank you, did yours? she clearly didn’t teach you to be kind, i don’t expect a thank you, but i sure as hell deserve one.

my mom always told me that women like a strong man. so why when my hands are squeezing your tiny throat and i flex my arms to show every muscle, you still don’t find me attractive? why when i move you so effortlessly, easily holding you down with one hand while you try to struggle, why don’t you find me attractive? shit, i could probably hold you down with one finger, i’m clearly strong, so could you quit your fucking whining bitch? i have the best dick you’ll ever get in your life.

my mom always told me that you females like when a man takes control of a situation. likes when a man takes care of all the problems, the bills, everything. so why when i take control of your pleasure, your pain, the breaths you take with my hand wrapped around your throat, why are you acting like you don’t like it? are you trying to be different from the average female? you’re all the same. you ask for a man to take care of you, to take control, but when he does it, when i do it, you act like a whiny fucking bitch and complain like you don’t want it. don’t bullshit me. i can see right through you.

my mom always told me that she wanted me to have grandkids, that she wanted me to start my own family. and she always told me that most women want a family too. so why when you feel my dick tense in you and start to twitch and feel my cum leaking down your legs, all the way to your toes, why are you screaming at me? why are you crying? quit fucking yelling at me bitch! i know you wanted a kid, i know you wanted a family, i just fucking gave it to you, so how about you quit being ungrateful and just fucking suck my cum back in you. don’t waste a single drop.

my mom always told me not to hit a women. she said, “namgyu, you should never hit a lady, okay? it’s wrong. you should protect the lady you love, not hurt her.” but mom, this wasn’t a lady. she, you, are a slut. a filthy fucking whore. you were begging for it so quit shaking your head no. the outfit you were wearing, the alcohol you were taking to make yourself more compliable for me so that you couldn’t back out or get away, you wanted me to do this. you wanted me to fuck you, wanted me to fuck a baby in you. there’s no need to act so indifferent now. mom. she’s not a lady, she’s a slut, okay? so don’t be mad at me. you said women like when you give them what they want so i gave her what she wanted and i gave you what you wanted mom! you wanted a grandchild? well i just got you one.

my mom always told me a lot of things. the only one i didn’t listen to was “namgyu, don’t get involved with those drugs that you see the other kids around you take. i don’t want you to go down that path.” but what did she know? she clearly knew nothing. you reacted like nothing how she told me. but then again, she told me women, like this that blah blah blah. she told me ladys like this that and the third. you weren’t a lady. you weren’t a women. you aren’t any of those things. you’re a slut, a whore, a cum dump. my slut.

my mom always told me to share. she said sharing is caring. so how about you open your legs for me instead of me having to pry them open, and share that dirty little cunt with me and then i’ll call thanos and i’ll share with him! maybe he’ll fuck a baby in you too. maybe he’ll call up a friend as well, did thanos mom teach him manors as well? did she tell him sharing is caring? your mom clearly did you wrong. how could you spread your legs open for a man you didn’t even know? come on, have some more dignity…i’ll teach you something.

a whole waterfall coming down your face, lip quivering, biting back your sobs. he said he’d make it even worse if you made a sound. so you decide to replace the sobs that you couldn’t let out with heavy breaths. you were about to start hyperventilating. legs tied to his, he was balls deep in you, forcing you to cockwarm him with your arms tied behind your back. god, you felt like you were gonna puke. you feel his cold gloves slide under your tracksuit jacket and onto your bare stomach, making you shiver.

“what’s got you so tense? are the games getting boring?”

you shake your head no, and he shifts under you. you know he did it on purpose, it wasn’t done to get comfortable, it was done to fuck with you. feeling his dick move in you and feeling yourself clench around him. you hated it. he laughs lightly before moving his head into your shoulder to get a better view of the games. he squeezed your arm with one of his hands, the other still wrapped around your stomach. you had to watch all these people die, you put your head down. this was sick. he was sick. he lets go of your arm and grabs your chin, lifting it to make you keep watching.

“keep your eyes up. this is nice of me, no? i could pick up this gun right now and shoot you just like them. it won’t hurt me. i still got what i want.”

he moves his hand from your chin and taps the gun on his table. you hadn’t even noticed it until he said something. he picks it up for a second, wiggling it at you tauntingly before putting it back down. he runs his hands through your hair and wraps his arms all around you, pulling your back right into his chest. you don’t know how, but somehow that made his dick go even deeper, and you quickly try to lift yourself up off of him, despite your legs being tied down to his own. he quickly grips your hips and pulls you back down before slapping you on the inside of your thigh, hard, causing you to flinch up and bounce on his dick, immediately you pause and suck the air through your teeth, more tears dribbling down, all while hearing a low dark laugh from behind you. an evil man you thought was your friend. a man you thought you could trust.

“yknow,”

he grabs a glass of whine from his table and presses it to his lips.

“you’d think you’d be happy.”

he moves the glass to sit on your thigh, a quiet way of telling you to stay still. wouldn’t wanna spill it on his nice suit after all.

“i mean, instead of running the risk of getting shot, now you just have to stay here and run the risk of not pleasing me.”

you swallow hard, your chest rising up and down quickly still as you try to keep your head up to watch these sick games, the whole time you’re looking for gihun and your group, hoping they’re okay. he moves the glass off your thigh and blindly presses the glass to your lips. you move your head away and the wine spills on you, painting the once green jacket completely red. it was the only safety net that you had that he allowed you to keep. that stupid jacket covered in blood and now wine. it was gross, but at least you weren’t completely bare. it didn’t stop him from touching you though, clearly, but it gave you some sort of comfort. he sighs before putting the glass back on the table and you tense more as he rubs his hands up your arms, scared of what was to come next.

“so? what’s going on in that head of yours?”

you take a deep breath before finally speaking to him.

“you’re a liar.”

he simply laughs and he moves once again, making you squeeze your eyes shut and you bite your lip.

“i want to go.”

“you’d rather play the games?”

you slowly nod your head and he hums before you hear something on his table move and something pressed against your back. you try to twist yourself to look behind at him, but he simply grips your arm, sending a threat your way to turn back around towards the tv and you obey.

“let’s play a game then.”

you hear the sound of a gun cocking and he presses it back to you and that’s when you knew what was pressing against your back, causing you to whimper.

“what? i thought you wanted to play.”

“i—”

he moves the gun away from your back and up to your neck and you choke on your words. you feel his hand shift before you hear the loud bang of the gun, causing you to scream, thinking that the bullet went through your head as you sob out, choking on your own tears. coughing everywhere and your chest heaving. he wraps his arm around your neck and pulls you into his back again cutting off some of your air flow and rests his other arm with the gun onto your exposed lap. you felt his cock twitch in you, but any other sensations were dulled out from the fear you were in. it had all felt almost numb.

“you still wanna play the games?”

he positioned the gun under your chin, lifting it up and you let out a choked up ‘no’. he decides to remove it and you finally stop holding your breath. he moves it in front of your face and waves it slightly before placing it back on the table beside him, but it didn’t comfort you in the slightest. your chest was stil heaving and the beads of sweat dripping down your forehead didn’t slow down in the slightest. you hear him sigh behind you before sitting up straighter and doing the slightest movements and the slowest thrusts in you. you immediately start moving your wrists in the restraints, straining to free them, throwing your head down and trying to squirm away and free your legs from his. he just holds the sides of your arms tightly, definitely bruising them under his gloved hands and he continues to grind under you, a small laugh coming from him as he feels you clench around him and he moves his gloved hand from your arm to the inside of your thigh, squeezing it before he sticks a gloved finger in you, lying right next to his dick, stretching you even more and finally a loud sob finds its way out of your throat and escapes your lips. he removes his finger and rubs a few circles on your clit, living for the feeling of you clenching around him before he moves his finger up the inside of your thigh, covering it in your slick. he wraps his arms around you again, pressing you against his chest as you continue to sniffle and let out small cries. he simply runs his hand through your hair and moves a hand to grope your boobs under your tracksuit. feeling that you’re so tense, he runs his hands up your sides and your waist, as if that was going to make you relax at all.

“i told you earlier that being here was better because all you had to do was run the risk of not pleasing me.”

he suddenly grips his fingers as tight as possible into your hips.

he pouts at you before going back to playing with his lighter.

“i’ll be done soon, okay? i just gotta close some ties first…”

“and when will that be, daegil? when you’re laying in your coffin from getting too involved with this stupid gambling shit?”

he stills, pausing his flicking of his lighter and you drop your head on the table. you close your eyes against the cold table and mess with your hair in one hand. the bang from your head meeting the table causes daegil to snap his head up.

“i don’t want you to die over some money.”

you mumbled that. you hear steps being taken toward you before a hand meets your shoulder, causing you to lift your head and make eye contact with daegil. he rubs his hand on your shoulder before giving you a small smile.

“i promise i’ll quit soon.”

you just sigh and look back down. soon wasn’t good enough. he had so many people praying on his downfall. he could die tomorrow just by going on a walk to the store. he lets out a huff before kicking the leg of the chair that you were sitting in, almost making it tip over before you grip the table and pull yourself back up.

“what the heck daegil?”

he lets out a laugh. his laugh was definitely a funny one, very contagious. it was a silly childish laugh that had you holding in your own and finally you let it out, your own laugh following his.

“it’s good to have validation that you think i’m funny.”

“no, but your laugh is.”

he crosses his arms over each other and sends a pout your way and you wave him off before standing and moving past him to go outside and get some air and he follows quickly behind you. for a moment you just stare into the sky before turning around to look up at him and you sigh, moving your hands to your hips.

“you ever think i maybe wanted some space?”

“do you own the sky?”

you give him a small laugh and look down at his chest.

“you know you didn’t come out here to look at the sky.”

you feel him shift a little and you lift your head from his chest see him looking up at the sky before he put his head down to see you looking up at him.

“i just was though, wasn’t i?”

you just roll your eyes and turn around, your back facing him again and he moves to stand beside you, the wind sending chills up his back and he shakes his head a little. his normally calm hair looking messy. he looks over at you now and oh god, you were absolutely stunning. standing in the moonlight with your hair blowing through the wind, he wishes he could take a picture. you feel his hand glide against your cheek as he moves your face over to look at him. oh how your eyes were so pretty, especially in this lighting. he could get lost in them.

“is there something you need sir?”

he scoffs before dropping his hand from your cheek and looking at you like you’re crazy.

“sir?”

you ignore him and change the topic quickly.

“i’m not happy with you right now which is why i came outside, you can go now.”

you give him a sarcastic smile, raising your eyebrows before turning away from him again, facing the street now. after a long while of silence you speak up again.

“you can be a ‘hustler’ without being an idiot on a suicide mission.”

“so it’s still about that?”

you let out a groan and just ignore him. he was clearly incapable of understanding how you felt. he looks up at the sky before scoffing and shaking his head, thinking of his next move. he knew he wasn’t going to listen to you and he knew he wasn’t going to stop gambling right now. he couldn’t, so you’d be mad at him for awhile. he hums to himself in thought and you look over to try and get a good look at him before he catches notice of you, but he immediately snaps his head over your way and smirks, causing you to look the other way. a light blush paints your cheeks.

“your pupils were pretty big there. you must think i’m just great.”

he’s found a new mission. if you’re just going to stay angry and bicker with him or ignore him, he’s just going to make you talk to him. he looks back at the sky hoping for an idea of what he should do next, and that’s when the idea comes to his head. when you’re not looking he looks over at you a little and smirks.

he looks back up at the sky, mouthing thank you to the stars as if they gave him his idea and he turns his body to you and you look up at him with confusion before he pulls you into his arms and presses a kiss to your lips. he bends his knees as he dips you, having a hold on the back of your head. you have to gather yourself before you can even reciprocate back. cupping the side of his face and pressing your forehead to his. he moves his lips away from yours but still has you dipped low to the ground. as you open your eyes, your sparkling orbs meet his, causing his heart to pause its motion before a shy yet cheeky grin forms on his face.

“you can’t be too mad at me now.”

you roll your eyes and bite the inside of your cheek before you start to blush a little, suddenly embarrassed at the proximity. you look directly into his eyes and it causes him to gain an even deeper blush on his. he pulls you up from the dip, but still has a hold on you, keeping you close to him and you press your face against his chest as you hold onto the sides of his arms.

“i really can be mad still.”

he frowns before you look up at him and you cup his cheek again.

“but i guesssss for now i’ll leave it be.”

he presses another kiss against your lips and you can feel his smile against you before he finally pulls away and pulls you back into him for a tight suffocating hug.

“you just can’t stay mad at me, can you?”

“you look hot as fuck with your glasses on.”

“huh. i guess i should wear em’ more if you’re gonna treat me like this.”

you scoff.

“don’t act like i treat you bad.”

“i mean, i haven’t gotten to look up at your pretty face like this for awhile.”

he strokes a hand across your check and down to your neck before pulling you back into him, his face now in the crook of your neck, his breaths tickling you and causing your hairs to stick up. he slowly starts sucking on your neck for long enough that you knew your neck would practically be painted purple by the morning. while he’s doing this you start palming him through his pants, teasing him by sliding a hand into his pants. he grunts against your neck before placing a rough bite against it, making you to jump against him and causing some extra stimulation to his dick, making him throw his head back against the couch. now it was your turn to place your face against his neck and place slow kisses and hickeys. he runs his hand through your hair before removing his glasses and running a hand against his face and wiping the sweat off, before putting them back on and laughing, causing you to look up and be met with the sight of namgyu and the absolute foggiest glasses you’ve ever seen on his face.

“i can’t see.”

“i can tell.”

you put your head down to stop yourself from breaking out into a fit of laughter and he takes his glasses off and grabs a bit of his shirt, rubbing them against the fabric to remove the steam before putting them back on and feeling you and all of your curves up, pulling you all the way down by your hips onto his dick, starting to grind against you.

“geez namgyu, never seen you so needy.”

you tease. he just scoffs before shutting you up with another deep kiss that slowly turns into another. make out sesh while you grind against each other. the movie in the back now getting absolutely tuned out. he takes one of his hands away from your face and puts it in your pants, palming your pussy before pushing one of his long fingers in you. you moan against his mouth and he just pushes his tongue against yours before pushing a second finger in you. he pulls away for a second, pressing his forehead against yours, his fingers still moving in you before he mumbles something against your lips still breathing heavily.

“you can take three, can’t you?”

you nod against him, the sweat on the two of you practically causing you to stick together before he kisses you deeply again, sliding a third finger in you, feeling your walls clamp against his fingers, threatening to swallow them whole. he smiles against you the moment he feels you cum on his fingers, slowly pulling them out and letting your pussy hold onto him, begging him to stay. he places his hand on the inside of your thigh, squeezing it a little before removing his glasses yet again, scoffing and you just laugh.

daeho had been ignoring texts, refusing to pick up his phone. but when you called and he saw your name on the phone, he couldn’t ignore it. you knew that, so you send a call his way. it was on the very last ring that he finally picked up the phone. you speak first.

“baby?”

he does a simple hum in response. you huff and decide to just force him to go out.

“we’re going out tonight, okay? the coffee shop right across from my place, alright? love you!”

he goes to speak but you quickly cut him off by hanging up the phone. he would never stand you up, you knew that. he debated on just texting you that he couldn’t go, but he decided he’d push through for you. you sounded so happy on the phone, he couldn’t shut you down.

you put your phone on the table side and smile proudly. you knew he could easily text you no, but you chose to ignore that. you go into your closet, already knowing what you were gonna choose and put on a simple white spring dress. sure it would be night, but it would still be somewhat warm, you’d push through for daeho. you don’t do much with your hair, styling it simple before you stuff your phone in your purse, grab some money, put on your shoes, and run out your house with excitement to the next part of your operation.

you entered the flower shops doors, the bell ringing as you step in. a women greets you.

“hi, how are you?”

“good! i’m looking for a huge bouquet of flowers. like, seriously. the absolute biggest that you have.”

she smiles at you, asking you a few questions about why you need such a big bouquet, and you gladly answer. the bouquet was bigger than your head, and honestly kind of hard to carry and was very expensive. but it was worth it. you wanted to hide the flowers from daeho so you decide to arrive kind of early to the coffee shop, finding a seat and placing the flowers under the table. as time goes on waiting for him, you pray he shows up. you didn’t think he’d stand you up, but then again, he was different now. you take a deep breath and shake yourself out of your thoughts, putting your faith in him. you pull out your phone to make sure he didn’t text you cancelling, thankfully he didn’t. you get a glass of water and hold it tightly in your hands with anticipation.

after what feels like an eternity, you finally hear the coffee shops doors open and he walks through. he finally looked a little put together since the whole ordeal and your eyes immediately light up at the sight. you quickly stand up once he notices you and he walks towards your table and you pull him into a tight hug. he stands there, slightly shocked before wrapping his arms around you, slowly reciprocating. he pulls away and looks you in the eyes.

“you look pretty.”

you smile back at him shyly.

“and you look handsome.”

you run a hand through his hair before pressing a small kiss to the corner of his lip and signaling for him to sit at the table, hoping he doesn’t kick the bouquet as he sits. the food and the drinks were already on the table, you knew what he liked, so you had it all ready for him. he took a bite of the food as you two sat in silence. you were gonna speak but he decided to first.

“i appreciate this a lot. i know i haven’t been the best to you lately..”

you reach across the table and grab his hand, rubbing a thumb his fingers.

“you don’t need to apologize. i just want you to at least feel a little better.”

he looks up at you and gives you a light smile.

“i do feel better. it feels nice to go out again, especially like this. it felt like i was going on a first date with you again, i was freaking out a little bit.”

he rubs the back of his neck with his other hand and you laugh.

“well i’m glad you feel better. it’s nice to see you like this too.”

you take your hand off of his and start eating your food, having small conversations with him. you wanted to cry happy tears, it was so nice to have things like this again. finally having conversations with him again, getting to see him care about himself, seeing him care about you.

“i can pay.”

you scoff at him.

“well, i already paid, so try again!”

he frowns at you.

“i have the money, baby, let me pay you back.”

he goes to reach for his pocket but you practically jump over the table and smack his hand before sitting back down.

“i’m not taking your money. if you secretly give it to me somehow, i’m going to lock it away and never ever use it even if i really need it.”

he furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head before laughing. saying you’re ridiculous and then you start laughing as well. you two finally finish everything and he stands up, reaching a hand out to you to help you up. you go to accept it but you pull back, causing him to have a worried look on his face, asking what was wrong.

“you go out first! and when the coffee shop doors open don’t turn around to face me, okay? i have something you can’t see.”

he still looks confused, but he nods before walking outside. you wait until he’s fully out the door and you see him standing by a bench. that’s when you reach under the table and pick up the bouquet and stand up. you struggle to see where you’re going but you yell a thank you to an employee before walking out the door and going right behind daeho, almost dropping the flowers.

“okay, you can turn around now.”

he jumps as he hadn’t realized you were behind him, lightly laughing at himself before he turns around, stunned.

“do you like them?”

you peek your head out from behind the bouquet, consisting of shades of reds and pink flowers with few white roses sprinkled in, wrapped in a white and gray-ish blue paper.

“wow…”

he slowly grabs the bouquet out of your hands before you play with your fingers, nerves getting the best of you as you hope that he likes them. he just stares at them before you realize there’s tears starting to roll down his cheeks, causing you to frown at him, cupping his face in one of your hands, he pulls you into a side hug as to not crush the flowers, mumbling a very broken up thank you, as if he was holding in a sob. he places the bouquet on the bench next to you two and cups your face in his hands now before pulling you into a deep kiss. it lasted a long time too. his tears slipping onto your lips, him kissing you like you were his last breath before pulling away, more tears slipping out.

“thank you so much, i don’t even know what i can say, baby—”

you pull him into a tight hug, rubbing his back.

“you don’t need to thank me.”

he squeezes you tighter before moving his hand up to your head and rubbing his fingers through your hair.

“i swear i’ll be better. i love you so much.”

you pull away and cup his face, looking intensely into his eyes.

“i’m not going anywhere. i’ll be there with you every step of the way, my love.”

he smiles at you and presses a kiss to your forehead before picking up the bouquet and walking with you home, an arm over your shoulder the whole walk in a comfortable silence before he speaks.

“do you— do you wanna stay over tonight?”

you stop in your tracks, causing him to almost trip over his feet and you laugh. you used to stay over all the time with him, it’d been forever since he asked you that question, and you were absolutely thrilled.

“i’d love to.”

marks you up everywhere. hickeys, bites, bites that draw blood, marks and scratches on your hips from his grip on you when trying to keep you from getting away…

definitely slips a pill into your mouth when he kisses you, not pulling away until he knows you’ve swallowed it.

he would love to be able to make you ride him. holding your wrists behind your back while you bounce on him. if you refuse to do so however, he’ll take his other hand and grip your hair, pulling it up as high as possible so you have to make yourself move up to stop the pain and then he just pulls your hair right back down so you smack against his balls. after he’s done that a couple times, he’s sure you’ll decide to just bounce on him without his help.

he takes pictures and videos as a souvenir. presses a deep kiss against you and snaps a picture. he snaps a picture of you on top of him while he has the tightest grip on your wrists. films a slow video showcasing all of the marks littering your body before debating weather or not to post it to his highlights or his private story.

loves slapping your pussy and cupping it in his hands. it makes you flinch away from his dick and right back down on it, doing the work for him. makes his dick twitch so much.

occasionally he likes to let go and let you try to push him away, knowing all of your efforts will be futile. it makes him laugh. but don’t push him too much. if you hit him too hard, he might loose that playful fucked up persona and just be straight fucked up, quickly becoming insanely mean. if you slap him a little too hard on the face, oh, you better believe he’s slapping you ten times harder. and as soon as he’s done and the tears slip from your eyes, he cups the red spot on your cheek, giving you a pouty lip.

“baby, shouldn’t have hit me, don’t cry at something you did! you shouldn’t live with regrets.”

this won’t be a one time thing. in fact, he wants to be with you in a relationship. it’ll probably end after like three months until he misses the times like this and forces you back in him, but this is not the last time you’ll see him. he might even rent out a hotel for a week and force you to stay there with him within those days. he’ll let you leave after the weeks up and his moneys all out, but he’s still going to stay glued to your side. makes you introduce him to your parents like he’s this perfect boyfriend when really he’s made your life a living hell and you want nothing more than to get away from him. if you tell anybody what he’s doing, the next time that he takes a quick photo with his hands wrapped around your throat, he’ll be sure to keep them there instead of letting go. you won’t even get to tell your poor family goodbye.

NAMGYU

he doesn’t particularly have fantasies of doing shit like this, but he can’t handle rejection. he’s thinking of you the rest of the night, thinking about how much of a bitch you were for saying no to him and pushing him away, his friends teasing him and pissing him off even more causes him to go through and fuck you out of your mind weather you want him to or not.

he definitely drugs you. slipping a pill that he honestly barely knows what it is into your drink. the moment he notices you have a bit of a wobble in your step he pulls you away from everyone around, leaving you oh so vulnerable to him.

he has a hand on your mouth the entire time (or his dick in it.) he doesn’t feel like listening to you bitch.

loves seeing your tears and the fear in your eyes. he hopes he fucks you up for the rest of your life. hoping that if a guy you hate asks you out, you’ll think twice about rejecting them and saying no, remembering this moment.

he doesn’t feel like having to hold you down. he wants to press his hand into your hips while the other remains on your lips, so he just gives you a simple threat.

“there’s a knife in my back pocket, i’m sure you don’t want me to use it, right? right, so i’d suggest you don’t hit me or push me away and we’re all good.”

sure he knows with the drugs in your system that your hits will do no harm to him, but he doesn’t care. don’t piss him off and maybe you’ll live and give him another chance to do this to you. also, he probably doesn’t even have a knife in his back pocket, but you didn’t need to know that.

tauntingly licks every tear that rolls down your cheek and onto his hand as he slams his hips against you, sending a taunting smirk your way.

also takes pictures and videos as a little souvenir. shoves the camera all in your face, making sure the flash is on while he adds commentary in the back.

“look at this dirty slut cryin’ all over my dick,”

“pulled me away from my friends and begged me to fuck her brains out, ain’t that right?”

of course you couldn’t respond, but so what? he simply starts laughing when you try to shake your head no. but he easily puts an end to that as he presses his palm even harder against your face, practically putting all his weight on it, threatening to break a tooth to keep you from moving your head an inch. it makes you want to reach out and stop him by grabbing his arms, but what if he really had a knife in his pocket? he told you not to touch him…

he’s a dick usually because his friends are around and he wants to impress them, but now he’s a dick to prove something to himself, to prove something to you. if you had just said yes, he’s sure he would’ve been nicer, and he lets you know that, throwing all the blame onto you.

“this is your fault you know? i asked you nicely, but you just had to be a giant bitch about it. those tears ain’t for me, they’re for your stupid decisions.”

definitely chokes you as he starts to cum in you, the end of your assault nearing. you poor thing, still so scared he’s gonna kill you that the moment you reach your hands up to stop him, you let them droop back down to your sides. the drugs already clouded your vision, the choking just darkened it even more.

when he’s done he zips his pants up before pulling yours up and dragging you to stand. he pulls you back inside the club to where his friends were, pressing a kiss against your neck in front of them.

“just had the time of our lives, didn’t we baby?”

you just nod your head as well as you can, it getting heavier and heavier by the minute. bragging to his friends about how they clearly shouldn’t have doubted him. he throws you on a chair somewhere and goes about his night. if some other guy wanted to have a turn with you, he gave them all the tools they needed. wasn’t his problem any longer!

KANG DAEHO

you hear your name being called before turning around and seeing daeho running to you, pulling you into a tight hug. his breaths getting cut off, trying to stop himself from crying before he pulls away and looks at you, fully grasping your injuries. the bottom corner of your lip busted in a deep shade of purple. your neck still dripping blood. he reaches his hand up to your face, grazing the injury on your lip before you pull it into your mouth behind your teeth. the pain starting to settle in as you scrunch your eyebrows together in discomfort.

“i’m so sorry.”

tears start slipping out of his eyes as he holds his hand on your neck, moving it and seeing his palm painted red. you open your mouth to speak but he just pulls you to one of the beds and forces you on it, taking his jacket off and holding it against your neck. he’s just stuck staring at the purple painting your lip and you cup his face in your hand, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“don’t cry.”

you wipe the silent streams pouring out of his eyes. he pulls you into a hug, still making sure the jacket doesn’t fall off of your neck. he mumbles something into your back.

“this isn’t right.”

you pull away, holding him by his shoulders.

“what?”

“i should be the one comforting you right now, not the other way around.”

you scoff, sending him a small smile and a playful smack to his chest despite the sting in your neck. you pull your hand up to your neck, right where daehos hand is and hold it, giving it a small squeeze and he smiles at you. he lets go of your neck, letting you hold his jacket there before he cups your face with both hands, placing a kiss to the corner of your lip where it was injured and then placing his head against yours.

“i won’t let you get hurt again, i’ll die before i let that happen.”

you give him a less playful hard smack to his shoulder, causing him to move back from your face and hold onto his shoulder. letting out an ow. you point your finger at him.

“don’t say that stupid shit again. if you die, i die. if you get out of here, i get out of here, okay? promise?”

you pull him back into a hug and he rubs his fingers through your hair. he takes a deep breath.

“okay, i promise.”

HWANG INHO / YOUNGIL / PLAYER 001

the moment he realized you weren’t near him, he found a guard and told them to end this whole thing. if you’d died, he’d never forgive himself. the moment he finds you, he grabs you by your shoulders and strokes his hand through your hair and moves down to glide his hand over your lip.

“are you okay?”

you were going to nod and brush it off but he notices you were holding the side of your neck so he grabs your hand and moves it and upon seeing all of the blood painting your neck, he stares for a few seconds before you put your hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“who did this?”

“youngil—”

he goes to cut you off to ask the same question but you stop him.

“it hurts.”

he softens his gaze before pulling you into his side and walking with you to the bathroom. upon arriving, he lifts you onto the sink counter before turning the water on. he walks into a stall and grabs a long strip of toilet paper, getting it wet before putting it on your neck, watching your face furrow in pain before you open your mouth.

“thank you.”

“you don’t need to thank me.”

he feels the slightest bit of guilt. knowing he’s not telling you who he really is, he’s in love with you, you could’ve died today, and unlike the actual games, he couldn’t have saved you from death. the bleeding finally stops and he uses a dry strip of toilet paper to dot up the leftover blood before taking your hand and helping you jump down from the sink. he still keeps a hold on your hand before he lets go. you look up at him before pulling him into a hug. saying another thank you into his shoulder. he doesn’t say anything back, trying to disassociate and act like this isn’t happening. he doesn’t want to feel guilty, he doesn’t want to love you, but he can’t help it. he simply just brings his hand up to your back and rubs it, letting out a heavy stressed out breath. god, what was he gonna do about you?

SEONG GI-HUN

he’s yelling your name the whole time and as soon as he catches sight of you he pulls you into a hug, immediately crouching down to be directly at your face level, cupping your face tightly in his hands. afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. the moment he notices your neck, he quickly puts his hand overtop of it before he just looks down at the floor, stifling a sob, whispering something under his breath, but you could hear him.

“i can’t lose you. no, not you too…”

you quickly pull him into a hug and he stands up straight before squeezing you even tighter, face in your jacket, balling his eyes out. for so long he’s kept his emotions under wraps since the first games, but coming so close to losing you, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“you won’t lose me ‘ssangmun-dong’”

he pulls away, looking at you with teary eyes, his face absolutely drenched and he actually lets out a small laugh at that nickname, causing you to smile back. you run your hand through his hair before wiping it across his face and then gripping his arms, glueing them to his sides.

“don’t cry over me, okay? i’m still alive. if i keep looking at you like this, i think i’ll cry.”

he quickly wipes his tears and smiles at you and you laugh, only making his smile wider. he grabs your hand in his, squeezing it tight before pulling it up to his face.

“okay, but—”

he points his finger at you, as if scolding a child.

“don’t leave my side again or i’m sure that i’ll cry even harder than this.”

“deal. unless i have to use the bathroom.”

“no arguments there.”

THANOS / PLAYER 230 / CHOI SU-BONG

you had gone off to the bathroom, and not long after, the speakers start saying player numbers. he was too high out of his mind to connect the dots, but as soon as he sees you walk out of the doors up front all bloody and bruised and everybody yelling and fighting about what happened, he’s immediately running up to you, grabbing you by your shoulders, shaking you.

“who the fuck did this to you?”

you keep your mouth shut. if you’d told him, he’d definitely kill them. he goes to walk away and starts yelling at the other side, but you slap his shoulder, grabbing his wrist and pulling him behind the beds.

“stop. the more you fight, the worse things are going to end up.”

he looks at you, eyes going down to your swollen lip before his face softens. he presses a kiss to it.

“but they can’t—”

you press a hand to his mouth, waiting for his talking behind your palm to stop before you finally remove it and press your palm on your neck. he looks down at your bloody neck, staring for a few seconds before speaking.

“you’re not gonna die, right?”

you scoff.

“no i’m not gonna die yet you big dummy.”

he pulls you into a light hug.

“don’t say yet. you’re not gonna die at all.”

he pulls away and shakes his nails in your face.

“remember, the great thanos will protect you.”

NAMGYU / PLAYER 124

the moment he hears player numbers being called and realizes you were in the bathroom, he immediately stands up and starts messing with his sleeves, worried that one of the numbers called was yours and he just wasn’t listening well enough. as soon as people start flooding into the room bloody and screaming, his eyes dart searching for you before seeing you argue with some girl. her threatening to finish you off and you both throwing insults. he rushes over, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away before then pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. he just stays like that with you for a long while before you have to force him away.

“are you okay?”

he scoffs, looking at your lip and then your neck.

“i should be asking you that.”

“it just hurts. not deadly.”

he bites his lip back before rubbing his hand on the wound on your neck, dabbing the blood with his sleeve.

“you’re too reckless.”

he mumbled that and you just laugh under your breath. he lifts your chin up to look at him.

“next time, you let me do the fighting, okay?”

you give him a look. a look that says ‘no way’ and he can read it easily despite the drugs in his system. he rolls his eyes.

“god, you’re gonna be the reason i die here, not these games.”

you smack his shoulder and he just pulls you into a side hug, patting your back.

MYUNG-GI / PLAYER 333 / MG COIN ★

as soon as he sees you walk out of the doors with everybody and he sees the blood painting your neck, he immediately runs up to you, pushing you over to a wall.

“what the hell happened?”

you open your mouth to respond but stop yourself upon seeing the worry and stress in his face.

“god, are you okay?”

you let out a shaky breath.

“it hurts, a little. i’m more shaken up then anything.”

noticing the tears starting to roll out of your eyes, he pulls you into a hug.

“myungi, i’m scared.”

he pulls away before placing one hand on your shoulder and staring into your eyes.

“i know, but you’ll —”

he cuts himself off.

“we’ll, be okay.”

you start fidgeting with your hands, but he stops you, putting your hands in his.

“okay?”

you nod your head slowly before he pulls you into him again. he’d take this place more seriously. he’d take you guys, your relationship more seriously. he wouldn’t let anything happen to you again.

SE-MI / PLAYER 380

the moment the lights are on and she’s not fighting anybody anymore, she frantically goes looking for you. she knew namgyu hated her, what if he killed you because of her? she couldn’t live with that. so the moment the lights come on and she sees you, she immediately pulls you into her.

“se-mi, are you okay?”

she pulls away.

“i was so scared i’d lost you.”

you take her hand in yours and squeeze it.

“i wouldn’t leave you in this place by yourself, promise.”

she laughs, rubbing the bruise over your lip softly, as if trying to wipe it away.

“you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, especially in here.”

you grab her wrist, and she pauses her glides over your lip.

“i’m being serious. as long as you’re here, i have a reason to stay alive.”

she sends a smile your way before she moves her finger up to her lip.

“okay. i’m putting my trust in you.”

she puts a hand on your shoulder, and you give her a reassuring smile before pulling her into a side hug. you were going to get out of here together.

—

ALI ABDUL

he was probably one of, if not the strongest person in that whole place. which is exactly why he was a main target when the fights broke out. you had been behind him but he was practically getting dog piled by people and couldn’t keep you near him. as soon as the lights turned on and the guy that was on top of him surrendered from the sound of gun shots, his head was immediately whipping around the room to look for you, before finally spotting you behind one of the toppled over beds. as soon as the guards finished patting everybody down, he immediately ran over to you, pushing past sangwoo and the moment you saw him you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. the moment he pulls you back and notices your lip he cups your face with both of his hands, staring at you intensely.

“oh my god—baby i’m so sorry—”

his eyes lower down to scan you more and they meet the large gash in your neck. he immediately lets go of you, taking his jacket off and tying it around your neck frantically. trying to keep it tight, but not tight enough to choke you. now it’s your turn to hold his face in your hands, he’s all bruised up as well, but still focused on you.

“look at you ali! you’ve got bruises all over you!”

he pulls you into a hug and holds your head, keeping it against his chest.

“stop. don’t worry about me. please.”

you pull away.

“you can’t just say that ali! that’s not fair! we’re in a game of death and sure, i could’ve died, but that’s not what i’m thinking about, it’s you!”

you press your head against his before speaking.

“baby, you can’t be so selfless. especially in here.”

you move your hand up to his cheek.

“you can worry about me, you can take care of me, but, i get to do the same with you.”

you look him in the eyes now. waiting for his approval. all he can do is stare into them lovingly before realizing you’re waiting for an answer and he bends down to your level, rubbing his hands on both your arms.

“yes, okay. we’ll stick together. i promise you.”

yandere daeho who clings to you at night like his life depends on it. if anybody even comes near your bed he immediately sits up in case somebody’s trying to kill you. constantly paranoid and on his toes.

yandere daeho who manipulates you. he never realizes that’s what he’s doing, he unintentionally does it. he can’t help it. but so what if he is? he just wants the best for you. always shutting down and going silent if you say you’re going to go talk to gi-hun about something in private. when you ask what’s wrong he says you said it aggressively. says the way you spoke to him was very hurtful, causing you to apologize profusely and hug him tightly. a breath of relief escaping his mouth that you trusted his words and now you’re back in his arms again.

yandere daeho who makes you think you’re going crazy. you’re already in this game of death which is bound to make anybody go crazy, but now he’s twisting his words. saying one thing to you and another to someone else.

“daeho, but that’s not what you said.”

“yes it is. are you sure you didn’t mishear me?” he wants you to rely on him and only trust what he has to say. he wants you to think he’s the only one who has the right answers for you, making himself the only one you ever come to when you have a question or need help.

yandere daeho who over time you start to notice him slowly inching a little closer, his grip getting a little tighter as the days go on, so you decide to say something to him. he does apologize, but it’s only to make you feel bad.

“ah, i’m sorry. i don’t mean to be so clingy. i’ll keep my distance.” and then you’re the one who clings to him, apologizing if what you said came across wrong. telling him that he’s not clingy and that you don’t have a problem with him being so close. he doesn’t pay mind to your words though. only paying attention to the warmth he feels around his body from you before reciprocating the hug you’re giving him back.

yandere daeho who uses his ptsd from being in the marines as an excuse to jump close to you and hold onto you. with every gunshot squeezing tighter and tighter.

yandere daeho who when the lights are out and he slides into bed with you, you ask him to go. you liked him as a friend, you two weren’t a thing, so why was he so close to you? you protest to him but he only pulls you closer, shushing you, saying it’s to keep you safe and that with you in his arms, nobody will try anything throughout the night.

yandere daeho who purposely doesn’t bring the ammo back during their revolt. you’d gotten too close to all those people. junbae, gihun, youngil. if he could let them die and play it off as him being scared, he didn’t care. as long as he had you all to himself. not having to share you with a team, not having multiple people to protect you. no. he wanted to be the only one.

“daeho, what are you doing?”

everybody was dead asleep. you were laying in your bed before feeling a dip and turning to see daeho. he pulls you into his chest.

“i’m just keeping you safe.”

you try to push yourself out of his grips but his biceps just flex and stay wrapped around you.

“uhm, i appreciate the gesture, but uh—”

you gulp and take as big as a breath as you can with the little space that you have between the two of you.

“can you lay somewhere else? there’s just not much space anyways, you know?”

he moves one of his hands to run it through your hair and you shiver. it was a kind gesture, and you liked daeho, but you didn’t want this. he was your friend. nothing more, nothing less. he only squeezes you tighter though.

“don’t worry, i won’t let you fall off the bed. i won’t let you get hurt. i’d take a bullet straight through my head before i ever let a scratch even cover your beautiful skin.”

APRIL EIGHTEENTH

the same kiss, the same warmth of each other from the first time you showed him your real skin, you, who you really were underneath the makeup you thought he’d only love you for, except now rougher. more desperate. he hadn’t wasted much time trying to prep you, ignoring your whines of discomfort and pain, telling you it was because it was the first time in a while, you just had to get used to it, and of course, you agreed. even though he didn’t spend a moment trying to make you feel good except some kissing. even though all he cared about was his own high and you could tell, you decided to trust the one you thought you’d be marrying one day. the one you thought you’d never lose. because why wouldn’t you? the only aftercare, which isn’t even really aftercare he gave you was a kiss and a few hickeys before pulling up his boxers and turning over the opposite side of the bed. leaving you on your own without a good night. but his kiss was a good night so it was fine.

you had woken up later in the day, su-bong gone when you were awake. he texted saying he’d be back, but he never showed. didn’t answer your texts the whole day. it wasn’t until eleven at night’ that he finally messaged you, telling you to get ready and to come to the club. you hadn’t gone out with him in awhile there. but that was his thing. he always liked to party, and plus, that is how you two met, what’d you expect?

you arrive and immediately upon seeing you he gives you a side hug and ushers you to the bar. sure, you came to the club, but you didn’t intend on drinking much. you were probably going to be the one to drive home after all. but still, he encourages you to chug, claiming it was a flashback to how you guys used to party. and it was, but those weren’t the best times for either of you. it was the worst you’d ever seen him struggle with addiction and it’s the most you’ve ever wanted to die in your life. but you chug everything he tells you to. at first you had second thoughts but once you hit the fifth drink you just stopped thinking, head finally slumped on the bar, tired, a migraine already coming onto you before you feel yourself being lifted and you lift your head as much as you can to see who it is.

“can’t you stick it out baby? it’s only twelve, the night is still young!”

you were absolutely wasted and you couldn’t tell if he had gotten you this fucked up on purpose or if he was genuinely just too incompetent and out of his mind to have paid any mind.

“fuck that, su-bong, still young? no. i wanna go home.”

he begs you to just stay before getting frustrated and clicking his tongue, leaving you on your own. you were wasted but you weren’t fucking stupid. did he seriously just leave you on your own while you were drunk out of your mind? you stumble towards the exit door and go outside, sitting on a bench. you remember how awhile ago he would’ve grabbed your wrist and stopped you from sitting, kissing you and pulling you into him instead. you bite your lips and then the inside of your cheek, frustrated and upset with him, and now the memories start kicking in of what he would’ve done. but he was just drunk! he wasn’t thinking straight, it was fine. you guys were the same old same old, still as close as ever. he was your best friend. the only person who truly understood you. you look up, the street light looked dimmer tonight. you pull out your phone, noticing the screen start to blur because your eyes are watering. you blink a couple times before taking a deep breath and trying to buy an uber, sliding up to your messages after to curse at su-bong. so what if he saw it now or later and got pissed? he thinks this is just fucking okay?

—

APRIL NINETEENTH

“i don’t understand what the hell you’re so mad about! you didn’t have to come out if you didn’t want to.”

“really? you left me all by myself after getting me damn near black out fucking drunk and i had to call myself an uber!”

he mumbles something under his breath.

“i’ll pay you back then, jeez”

you heard that and slam your hands on the table.

“it’s not about the fucking money su-bong! i just want you to give a shit about me!”

“if you think I don’t give a shit about you then leave, nobody’s stopping you, the doors right there!”

he points at the door and tears start spilling out of your eyes, frustrated because clearly he could care less about you. care less about what happens to you.

“how am i supposed to let you go?”

he opens his mouth, probably to say something smart, but you cut him off.

“i only like myself when i’m with you. nobody gets me except for you! i cant just let you go su-bong! so how is it so easy for you to let me?”

you place your face in your sleeve and you start sobbing before feeling warmth around you again. just like that first month. under that bright street light and he wraps his arms around you and you just drop your arms to the side before he does a small laugh and grabs your arms, wrapping them around himself for you. he says nothing. no apology, no yelling, no ‘i was wrong’, no. just that and silence. but it wasn’t so bad. he was trying. that’s what you told yourself.

—

JUNE FIRST

you open up your phone and see the lock screen of you and su-bong from the first week you two got together. your bright smiles about to blind you. it was a sick reminder of how you two were now. if you were to look at any photos now, the smiles would seem so forced. sometimes he wouldn’t even try to smile at all. he didn’t even wanna take photos with you anymore. not even for a second. how were you supposed to tell him how you felt? he didn’t care. no, don’t think that! he cares about you a lot. he’s just overwhelmed. you’re overwhelming him too much and he needs some space. let him come to you. it’s your fault, you shouldn’t cling to him so much.

—

JUNE SIXTEENTH

he came home. you were sitting on your bed before he slams the door and climbs on top of you. you weren’t in the mood but you didn’t wanna deal with the yelling. you just wanted him to be happy. you suck the air through your teeth before looking the opposite direction of his face, refusing to look up at him.

“just hurry,”

you whispered out. you just wanted him to do what he wanted and avoid all confrontation.

“what? didn’t think you wanted a quickie, got somewhere to be baby?”

you just take a deep breath. you don’t want the past to come rolling into your head, memories where it was more than this. you just wanted him to hurry up and blow his load before you start thinking too much about it all. you shake your head refusing to respond to him and he just chases his high while you lay there like a doll before he finally finishes. you just push yourself up from underneath him and get up to leave.

“what? you’re not gonna stay over? i know i’m not the best at aftercare but you seem to like it.”

you keep your back facing him before you grab your jacket, mumbling a no and walking out the bedroom door, shutting it behind you. walking through the house before making it out the front door, biting your lip and holding the tears in. you knew he wasn’t the best person, but you guys were so close before. even his friends said you were the only girl that he’s actually treated like a human and not some whore off the street. so why, why was he doing this to you now? what happened to you guys?

—

JUNE SEVENTEENTH

you came over the next day, it was silent. uncomfortably silent. both of you refused to even make the slightest movement. you take a deep breath and swallow before letting out some quiet words, but he still heard them loud and clear.

“you know i love you for you, right?”

he looked at you like he didn’t know what you were talking about. like you were the one who was high right now.

“what are you talking about bab—”

you cut him off. you didn’t want to listen to his sweet talk, you didn’t want to fall into his traps, you didn’t want to listen to his voice, it all made you come crawling back.

“the drugs su-bong, you can’t keep doing this to yourself! i mean for gods sake, look at your fucking pupils!”

instead of listening to the concern and the words you said, all he heard was you yelling and so he just jumped to creating an argument with you. could he seriously not understand that you just wanted the best for him? that you’re worried about him? that when he treats you the fucking worst you still care and when he doesn’t show up the whole night you damn near have a fucking panic attack thinking he overdosed somewhere?

“su-bong please, i don’t wanna lose what’s left of you. i don’t even know who you are anymore!”

for once, instead of getting in your face or screaming insults and curses at you, he just throws on his jacket and leaves. copying what you did the night before. leaving you standing in the middle of the room biting the insides of your cheek. you felt more like a parent than a girlfriend to him. but sometimes you wonder now if he even thought of you as a girlfriend and he also thought of you as a parent as well? finding you a nuisance and a thorn in his side. all you wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. you weren’t asking him to change, you just wanted him to at least try, even if it all failed! knowing he tried would’ve helped you sleep at night. knowing he tried would’ve helped you a lot more if you had to sit at his funeral and mourn his loss. at least then you could act like he was a good person. a good boyfriend. but now, would you even show up to his funeral if he were to die? you didn’t know.

—

JUNE TWENTY-FIRST

he hadn’t texted you, not once. hadn’t called you. you only called him twice, scared that he’d call you desperate and clingy when really you were just worried. how could you know if he was dead or not. the dark circles under your eyes poking through more and more as the days go by. it isn’t until you open your phone and see that he posted a picture with a girl under that same fucking street light that you finally lose it. you throw your phone across the room, start knocking over anything you can move. you’d probably be called crazy. ‘over a guy you’ve only dated for a few months? no. you knew this guy for a long time before you dated. you were close. this was one of your best friends. he was your only best friend. the other ones you let go because you truly thought he was the only one who understood you. your phone still on the other side of the room you just drop to the ground before you slowly start to cry. tightly biting the inside of your cheek, tears rolling down before you start sobbing, louder and louder. the neighbors could probably hear you. you slam your arm into your face, this time feeling no warmth around you as you do so. you probably looked fucking pathetic right now. if you were su-bong, you wouldn’t take you back either. how could you date somebody else without seeing him in that person? without thinking about him? he didn’t even say goodbye. didn’t even have somebody else tell you goodbye for him. he was just gone.

—

JUNE TWENTY-SECOND

you visited that spot one last time. you told yourself it’s because you pass it on your way home but that’s not why. it was summer but there was no warmth there. the closer you got to that street lamp the colder you felt. the light was almost completely dimmed out, barely brightening up the street. it’d need replaced. just like apparently you did. the club was right behind you and you turn around for a brief moment before seeing that purple hair going the opposite direction. next to him a girl. and the lower your eyes go, you finally see their hands met together. you just stare before it all just gets darker around you. you look up and the street lamp was completely out. part of you begged that it would turn on just one more time, that it would get warmer just one last time, but it didn’t. the sounds of the buzzing lamp no longer there, no warmth whatsoever nearby, and no more light to guide you. you thought when you two had just been friends and you’d been partying every night that that was the lowest point in your life. but no. this was. you genuinely had no idea what you were meant to do without him.

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JULY NINETEENTH