Hello, Hello

im an autistic american and ive begun working on an idea for a short film. one of the main characters is an autistic korean-american teenager who's a second generation immigrant. do you have any tips for how i could accurately depict her as an autistic asian-american? her story means a lot to me

uh, hello, long time no see! First of all, thank you for asking question although I have been inactive for such a long time. Also, I appreciate that my existence came into your mind when you were looking for the resource for your story building.

That being said, I am not sure if I can give the appropriate answer for your question; although I studied abroad for quite a while, I was never an immigrant. I went to other country alone when I was in middle school, and spent most of my time in the dorm. after graduating, I came back to Korea and got a job. Basically, my experience is far from immigrant. Still, I will give my best based on what I saw & heard about asian-american immigrant. but please make sure to cross-check with other reliable sources, too!

Usually, first generation immigrants have to spend all their energy getting used to different cultures, languages, and systems. and while doing all of that, they have to bring home the bacon as well. They are very down-to-earth and hardworking; They will not be able to make it in new country if they don't. if there are other family members-especially their kids-they have to take care of them as well. They might face problem that they would never face if they had not left. (in fact they always do.) because of tremendous amount of work they face, they may compromise less significant issues, such as um... having fun, accommodating their wants, and bonding with their family members. This may cause burnout, neglect, or over-management of their children. They may want some form of compensation-because what is the point of leaving their home country and putting all that effort if they don't get anything from it? Their way of thinking and values may be fixed where they left

Now moving on to kids' side, who may be 1.5th generation immigrant (moving in with their parents) or second generation immigrant(being born in moved in country). For 1.5th generation, they are likely to remember their homeland's culture & struggle to get used to new environment, just like their parents do. They almost always miss Korean foods, places, and friends-everything they left behind. However, they tend to adapt much faster than their parents do, which makes them help their parents' work, such as making phone calls, reading documents, helping their business. If there's younger second-generation sibling, then they have to become translator between their parents and sibling as well. As a result, they become aware of their parents' effort and sacrifice, and tend to be more mature than their age. They may also feel like they do not completely blend in as second generation do.

Second generation immigrant, however, are oblivious to their original country. They think they are American, and think their parent's home country as foreign. Unlike their parents & older siblings, Their struggle may be focused on relationship between family members, since their values are foreign to their parents, and vise versa. Katy in Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings would be perfect example of second generation immigrant.

to write about more trivial & Korean-specific, Most Korean immigrant community centers on Korean church, so Korean immigrants tend to find local Korean church although they do not actually believe in god.

Oops... it got way longer than I expected. NOW moving to autistic part.

There are quite a few parents of autistic kids deciding immigration (generally to US or Canada) to access the resources(special education, therapy, etc.) for their children. Usually they decide it as soon as the children get diagnosed, so most of them would be second generation immigrant. if they are verbal & old enough learn languages, parents would rather decide to stay because it might cause regression in their language development.

Parents are well aware of the cost of such resources in US; although it is excruciatingly expensive to access them, many parents just appreciate that they have the option in first place. In Korea, there are 192 special schools. Only 30% of students with special education needs (this does not include ones with "mild" disabilities!) attend to special school. Most of them is far from residence (approx. 30 min to 1 hr by car) because of NIMBI. People HATE building special schools because they think price of their housing would fall if such institute is near. Not only the scarceness of the resources are the struggles of parents of autistics, but there are also negative perception of disability in general(especially developmental & mental one) in Korean society & obsession to normalcy. Koreans want to be normal; not only themselves, but also others as well. They are sensitive to what and how others eat, use, wear, and act. They continuously question themselves and judge others based on their own standard of normal. Perform any strange moves then you will immediately get an attention. Same goes with parents with disabled children. Would like to talk further about this topic but let's get back to the point since I would need another tons of research to write. Anyways, for parents, as long as they have enough money to consider immigration, it's more logical to decide to move to US to get resources.

so the school part and such, you can probably write the plot based on your own experience. I expect that it won't be much different from yours. For parent-children relationship, though, Korean parents tend to consider their children as their extension. They tend to prioritize what they think is best for their children then what they actually need. Parents doubt if their children would be able to be on their own even though they actually can. This manifests as distrust of their children's decisions and actions, and this is usually the main conflict with family members.

Interview of Kang Tae-Oh(Lee Junho in EAW): https://naver.me/xQouuuKs

Interview of Ha Yoon-Kyeong(Choi Sooyeon in EAW): https://naver.me/5x0MQYoh

Hi anon! About the title "이상한 변호사 우영우", I think it does not have problem. Word "이상한" translates to "strange, odd, unusual, weird". I wouldn't deny that this word can convey negative impression, but Korean language is all about context.

There are words that are ALWAYS interpreted negatively, like "비정상"(abnormal). If these kinds of words were used in the title of the drama, then it is definitely ableism. However, as seen in the scene where Young-woo eat Don Geurami gimbap and says "it's strange", and Geurami replying to her as "strangely good", the word "이상한" CAN be used as positive context.

I think main problem of calling something "weird" is not because the word itself has negative meaning, but because of the perception of feature that the word describes. It's not word that matters; it's how the "이상함(strangeness)" is perceived in society. If I avoid using the word "이상한" to describe something, then I am making the implications that word "이상한" conveys negative meaning.

I don't want that.

The word itself means different from norm, and nothing else. It's the society's prejudice that being different from norm is not good. I'd rather use it prevelantly so it is perceived positively. Because I AM different from norm, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am not ashamed of being different from others.

I love being narwhale. I am proud that I am strange one.

Oh about that. it's technically a fan letter from someone who lives with autistic, not technically autistic. Kinda same context that writer got. "So far only dark and gloomy side of disabled/autistics has been emphasized on media, so I would like to thank you that show is showing lovely aspect of autistics I have also seen as I lived with them". While she is aware of that this does not represent all the audiences, but that is what she intended when filming EAW, so she really appreciated the letter.

Whoa okay, interview of EAW actors (especially Park Eun-Bin) is out! Everybody have a look! (it's in Korean BTW)

Hi anon!

Oh about that. I expected that I would get this question someday.

To answer your question first, I, as a Korean, don't think calling Young-Woo cute is infantilizing her, because, the first, the actor herself is called cute, and second, "cute" and "adorable" is used as very generic compliment in Korea. I casually call my friends, sisters, partners, and even my mom cute. They call me cute as well. Famous muscular actor Don Lee is called cute as well. Cuteness, in general, is almost interchangeable in "lovely", at least in Korea, so as Korean, I did not think that calling Young-Woo cute comes from infantilization, or even if they actually meant it, main reason of infantilization would be her being rookie attorney, not because of her being autistic.

However, If you ask if Korean culture itself tend to casually infantilize others in general, THAT I am not quite sure. Maybe we do. Koreans act in a cute way to show affection to the others (애교, aegyo). I have seen foreigners being weirded out by concept of it. Hmm.

even with english as my first language, i still find it hard to convey my words in the right way. so in that ask, i should have made it more clear and it's not any fault of yours!

i really appreciate reading your thoughts about the drama and i think you express yourself well! thank you for sharing :)

Hello anon! Thank you for your consideration and kind words :3 Don't blame yourself for miscommunication though (in case if you're doing); Communication is two-sided, and both recipients and senders are responsible in case misunderstanding occurs. Senders should put maximum effort to express their message accurately, and recipients should also put maximum effort to understand what sender meant accurately. It's very tiring job though, since you have to think of all the possibilities of the way the expression can be interpreted. So people usually rely on social norms & established languages to decode the message of others, since they have lots of other things to do. Kinda main reason why NDs struggle so much since our communication system(?) is different from NTs.

I hope people, in general, take some time to understand what other people actually meant, as I do to others. and don't blame others too quickly for their actions.

There... is, there is. HOWEVER, they are not many in number, and I am not entirely sure if those would be actually helpful to autistics, especially for grown-up ones. Therapy for autistic individual are mostly focused on children, and I believe the it is more likely designed to make autistic people to be fit to social norm rather than helping the struggles of them. ABA is considered as something super innovative way of treating autistics. (I ofc firmly disagree with such notion. ABA sucks. Period.)

It sounds terrifying, but korean autistics are desperate for them. Our pain of not being able to be seen at all is greater than the pain of not being accepted and validated. At least, if I learn to speak their language, and speak in a way they understand, then they will be able to see SOME of me, at least. For that, we would try everything we could; we would be WILLING to take ABA, just to connect & communicate with others. We are THAT desperate. Think of it as drinking super dirty water that would definitely make one sick because that is literally ONLY drinkable liquid around.

Still though, I remember going for the therapy when I was young. Back in that day, autism being spectrum was yet to be perceived. It was a group therapy with other "Asperger's Syndrome" friends. (I was young and that was name of the diagnosis at that time!) We talked and communicated and did some quiz-like activity altogether including doctors and parents. Problem was: there were only four of us, and all the kids were boys, while I being the only girl. My mom was heard that is is less prevalent among girls. Now I know that autism is spectrum, I can confidently say that autistic women are less "visible". Anyways, my action & behavior was WAY different than others in there. I remember getting scared because one friend got agitated that his answer is different (I did the expression of "feeling sorry"; his answer was "feeling too bad") and started shouting. My mom and I stopped going to the therapy after a while, because she thought I was capable of being normal rather than belonging to such side. I agreed that what is being offered in therapy is not needed for me.

What my mom thought, in fact, is true. Unlike other autistics I met, I was CAPABLE of learning language that is prevalent in society. Because she thought that I was capable, I was able to study abroad. She said she wouldn't let me go if she thought I was autistic, and she still thinks that I am not, although she agrees that I am different from others.

Oh, the irony of NOT being thought as autistic actually being treated better than being perceived as autistic, because the stereotype of it is immensely flat and wrong on so many levels! The irony of the idea "disability is burden" being a PREMISE that nobody is even thinking of challenging it! One day, I commented in the online post, and explicitly said that "please AVOID commenting that the disability is burden" then people just casually replied that "I don't think disabled people is burden but isn't disability tho?" I was like HEY I DIDN'T EVEN INVALIDATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND EXPLICITLY ASKED TO DON'T WRITE IT IN SUCH WAY AND YOU JUST CASUALLY IGNORE IT BY WORDPLAYING? I DIDN'T EVEN DEMAND IT! I don't want to rant, but that's how the Korean society is; one consists of RIGID social norms that makes nobody (including NTs) happy.

So when I watched EAW and saw Young-Woo expressing herself with her own language, and people trying to understand and learn what her language would actually mean, (like the scene in ep.3 where Young-Woo's dad speak quoting a law so she would understand to make her stop crying), it really felt like something else. She looked like the parallel universe version of me, where my own language is accepted as valid ones. Because I didn't. My mom let me know how my language could be perceived by others (this thing was actually helpful for figuring out my own effective ways of communication!), then rather proposed express in a way I do not offend others. I now mask well, really well; thanks to my mother’s effort. In fact, I forgot how to express in my own language. I used to have something like the whale of WYW, but It’s lost and gone forever that I can’t even replicate it even if I wanted to. So lost and gone that I can’t really relate myself to other fellow autistics.

At least I thought so, until I started watching EAW.

After watching the show, I asked my friend who have been known me for long time if she sees me in WYW. She said I pretty much acted like her back then, so I asked if I had something like WYW’s whale. She told me that I was so fond of stars in night sky, that I kept telling her about constellations and stars.

I still like them. I LOVE making analogies of stars and nights to our life. I love the mythologies & stories related to constellations. I WANT to be the one like star in the night, and I really act like that.

Maybe it was not that lost after all.

Aha! It seems like I misunderstood that part :3 forgive my English! Although I am quite used to it, I tend to miss out tidbits of grammars & phrases quite often. Hope there is no difficulty understanding what I meant to convey :D

I love organizing thoughts into streamlined logics & choosing right words to express my enlightenment regarding the topic, but it was never a easy work for me. (I'm sure that it is same for others as well!) It's hard to level thoughts with others and guide through steps of enlightenment as I did, because I just... kinda figure things out really fast, nonverbal way, and I get quite impatient at others not following my thought I do. I have so much to express than I write here; then I forget what I wanted to say in the middle while figuring out right words & organizing my thoughts....

I can finally sleep in peace

Hi fellow Korean autistic! How did you end up in here?! Feel free to ask & offer a different perspective with my post!

Hmm, I will briefly write how it was so far (I watched till episode 13, then decided to binge-watch remaining episode this weekend!) then repost and add further after I finish all the drama!

Initally when I heard about drama, I did not have good impression because I thought it was another savant cliché drama. Then I saw the capture of episode 3 and thought that this might be different, and start watching it & fell in love in this show. some of the plot points were introduced abruptly, but overall, the representation was good, I could see why character was behaving in such way, in my opinion.

Episode 9 was the one I cringed initially, but when I realized what writer wanted to talk about & watched again, it felt much better. it was strange experience I ever had with any media, because the impression I have rarely changes.

When I saw the teaser of episode 10, I was nervous how it would be handled, but it really turned out nicely (@kay-tf-volution's review pointed out how love with ID should be handled really well, then I had something similar to Young-Woo's whale breaching moment. It was absolutely amazing. Before reading the review, I was like "Man this is difficult question. to what extent it is okay or not?")

Episode 11 and 12 was good as well, but I could feel that things started to get wonky in episode 13. too many random plot points suddenly being introduced, too many seemingly OOC moments (I did not think it was OOC; just some different side of person, but if it is media, writer has an obligation to convince the audience why such side is showing up.) At this point I was relating myself to Young-Woo so much, so it hurt to read negative comments towards drama (I am aware that their opinion is valid and I should not take it personally, but... it is not easy to do so), Some even commented how Young-Woo's autism looks fake & inconsistent (while her behavior totally made sense in my autistic viewpoint), and brought up "the reality of being family member of autistic person" (ensue painful and dreadful life of a family who used up all the resources to autistic family member who behaves in incomprehensible & uncontrollable way, then ends up sending him to facilities, and bunch of comments that invalidates the existence of autistic people like Young-Woo(which is almost equivalent of invalidating my existence)).

I had a shutdown on that day.

It damaged me so much. Not because of the show, but because of the comments of the people made.

Since I was nervous how the show would end - because if it fails to convince the audience, people will think autistic person like Young-Woo is not real, and they would call me "don't look autistic"... I decided to abstain from watching the show until it ends.

I did read comments & reactions on episodes tho. I got really nervous when it was not good. I was scared if I won't be able to present this as good autism representation show. I was seen by this drama and I don't want it to go away because of the bad ending.

THEN I just read the comments of the episode 16, then just found out that it ended in really nice, convincing way. Oh, I am more than relieved. I am happy that it would be able to be remembered as show with good start & ending. That I could use this show to explain myself. That I could possibly proudly say to others to overlook some wonky parts and focus on good things & messages in the show. Thank god.

Ah, Minwoo. I hated his action shown in ep 5. How rude to behave in such way. How he deliberately take advantage in every single way to just to be shown better in his workplace. How he prioritizes his own stuggles while overlooking Young-Woo's struggle. I really hope I don't encounter one who acts in such way to me.

However, if you were to ask if I hate him as person, I don't. There are too many people in society who thinks their struggle is inherently greater than other's. In fact, don't we all do that from time to time? I am sure that I overlooked one's struggle when I was in distress. I really try not to do it as much as I can, but there are limitations; not because I am autistic, but because a person cannot know how others exactly feel. As long as we are aware of such things, and try to rectify such misunderstandings as we realize it, yes, I think everyone is redeemable, so is Minwoo. I didn't watch later episode yet, but moment of revelation may happen in really anticlimactic way, and he might not change his thought entirely; he might just end up making small exception for someone who care. I think that is fair enough, though.

Although I have not met encountered someone whose malice is directed at me, I did meet one behaving as such(in fact, worse, in a way) to someone else. So, it was when I was a moderator in small online Neurodiverse community, then someone joined and introduced themselves with wiki document they wrote about ableism, and continuously ranted how NTs in society is so toxic and obnoxious. While the members of community agreed with their struggle, we found their words uncomfortable to read. We did tell them that their words makes member nervous, but did not kick them out, because since it's ND community, we did not want to hurt someone by repelling them based on their behavior. their words started to get more extreme as day passed, and eventually started talking that NDs are superior than NTs therefore should rule over them & all NTs are ableist sh*t and should be eradicated & this does not count as hate because NT is majority. At that moment, I had enough of it so had a round of debate before I kicked them out. I remember telling them that while my autistic self is definitely essential part of me, it is not ALL of myself (I mean, I identify myself with many other things, like my sexuality, ethnicity, experience, knowledge, hobby, preference, etc... whatever makes who I am); they were talking like they are nothing without autism. I also remember that we should think about other's intent rather than judge them by their action, and that applies to everyone, not only to ND. Then member of community started agreeing with me, then they started shouting that we are cyberbullying them & ableist collaborator, then went out on their own.

Does it feel kinda unrelated? I personally found it relatable, in a ways that they were both invalidating other people over their own struggles.

Hello anon, Thanks for asking! Time to talk about myself, woohoo!

First, the background.

I am 24 year old autistic woman, who got a job in my profession about a year ago. although I am not lawyer as Youngwoo, My job absolutely utilizes what I majored & learned in university, so I am using my knowledge at my full potential for my work, as Youngwoo does in her profession!

To talk about my job further, it is something close to debugging; I find out what the problem is, then test out what would be the reason of it, then figure out how to fix it. It's all about keen observation, deduction, and creativity (also organization. I suck at this so I really wish I could be like Youngwoo when I need it!); It feels like I'm solving whale quiz every time!

Next, the behavior.

I ABSOLUTELY love babbling out what I am interested as Youngwoo does (it's not fixed to one topic unlike Younwoo's fixation to whales, but I would say I am just interested in many things!), and my facial expression changes absolute joy (with tee-hee smile, according to my friend's observation) when I speak about such, I have hell of a reaction when I am surprised (I shout or flinch, or both), I hate loud noises (I can tolerate better than Youngwoo does, tho, so I don't have noise-canceling headphone, but I prefer quiet places like library or bookstore), I like running around all over places when I am excited or nervous; I speak in very considerate when I am focusing, but I slip out rude words when I am off-guard; I do "ah" when someone points out what I did not notice; I am cute and lovely as she does (joke intended, but I actually think I am!)

Also, it's bit embarrassing to say it myself, but I am really smart. in Wechler Intelligence Scale, I got 140(sd 15) in perceptual reasoning. That means, at least in that field, I am above 99.6 percentile. other section is above average, too. (I am aware that IQ is not comprehensive way to judge one's overall intelligence, but at least it means I am really good at something, I hope) I don't own a photographic memory like Youngwoo, but I am good at finding connection between things, and overall structures of how things are made up by just skimming through it, and deducing what people actually meant based on their behavior and words. It helped me so much on masking and making up lack of social intuition.

Well my friends say "man, Young-woo's behavior absolutely reminded you", so behavior-wise, I believe that we have lot of thing in common.

Now about surroundings.

I have a friend who has known me for about a decade; I met her in secondary school, she tried becoming friend as protecting & looking after me, then I helped her a lot when she had hard time. We are real besties right now, and she is super social and outgoing.

My boss has trouble figuring out how to handle me but also thinks that I'm good at my job and gives professional advice when needed. He does scold me when I am not acting professional, but also likes showing cats and accepts me as great coworker. I also have a mentor who gives an advice what action would been more appropriate for what I intended, and keep encourages me that I'm doing well. Also he warned me for loud noises before he started using air gun. I became openly autistic after EAW aired, then it became SO much easier to explain about myself & how I feel and think, and they understand my struggle & be kind to me.

I also had love interests, and recently started seeing someone; I knew him way before EAW launched, but as EAW launched, I could tell him that I am autistic, then we got close to each other as we discussed about the show. We are now seeing each other; he is like Junho to me :D EAW cleared some of the doubts I had in mind & gave the guideline to how to see a person & learn them, so I am thanking the drama a lot!

Oh and my mom is narcissistic. I love her & she loves me too. It took a long time to understand her, but I think I am getting her. I'm not sure if she understands me though, but I don't mind that much.