"𝓑𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑑."
ㆍ ♱ ⚊ 𝓓ean just wants to have an empty head and be protected
It's been a while since Ive written and like sm has gone down with lads and infold so #bringbackvalko tf. This doesn't mean I won't ever write for the boys again but I am taking a tiny break from them just cause I'm also Into other stuff and I feel like since I was lwk only writing for them, I wasn't feeling as satisfied and there for burnout. Anywho :3 please feel free to request literally anyone (if it's smut please no dom character or sub reader) Ill update my request rules later but again I'm #lazy hehhehe OH and I didn't proofread. I'm very much not a good writer HAVE FUN.
The motel was quiet in a way that only happened after a hunt.
Outside, rain tapped steadily against the window. The faded neon vacancy sign sprayed ribbons of crimson and blue across the thin curtains. The room smelled faintly of old wood, gun oil, damp jackets, and burnt motel coffee. It wasn't comfortable by any means, but after years on the road, it was familiar.
Sam had left hours earlier to spend the night at Bobby's. Finding any lore he could about the current being yall were facing, telling dean that it was more logical for just him to go rather than all three of you. Little to Deans knowledge, Sammy just needed a ‘small break’ from him as he told you.
Now the silence felt different.
You sat on one of the narrow beds, your old, musty boots abandoned beside the frame as you carefully polished the silver knife resting across your lap. Your movements were practiced, patient. Hunting had made routines out of things most people would never have imagined doing.
Dean watched from the opposite side of the room.
He'd been watching for several minutes.
His leather jacket hung over the back of the chair, revealing the worn in AC/DC band tee stretched across his shoulders. You remember when he first got it. It was a treat on your end after a particularly rough hunt where John wouldn't stop hounding him, he had missed his shot on the demon so you all had to stay another night. After getting tired of the loud bickering, you stole the car and found a small, vintage shop where said shirt was relatively new, aside from the questionable stain near the bottom.
It was something you often did for the boys, you knew how harsh John could be so anytime you had money. You’d find a small gift for them. It wasn't a lot but deep down, you knew they appreciated it.
His hair was still damp from the quick shower he took, darker than usual, curling slightly around the edges in a way that you always took note of. Without the constant driving, fighting, or chasing monsters, there was an unfamiliar stillness about him. Usually he’d be chatting to you, ranting about the locals or the waitress he bagged. However, something was just different.
His eyes kept drifting back to you.
Not because you were doing anything worthy of calling out.
Because you had always been there.
Long before hunts became second nature. Before fake IDs. Before motel rooms blurred together. Before the grief that seemed to follow the Winchester brothers everywhere they went.
John took you in, “raised” you after your mother died on a hunt with him, Funny how that's happened more than once. It was her one request to him and he followed through. Taught you to reload a shotgun before learning to drive alongside the boys. Long nights around Bobby's kitchen table, bruised knuckles wrapped in cheap bandages, arguments over lore books.
Even though you were older than Dean by a year and Sam by many more, John treated Dean as the oldest. Never truly seeing you as his own rather, baggage then anything.
Somewhere along the way, everything had changed.
The way your confidence never left you. The calm certainty in your movements. The quiet authority that appeared whenever a hunt went sideways. Rarely ever second guessing yourself. You never raised your voice, never demanded attention, yet somehow people listened.
It had happened so gradually that he barely noticed until he caught himself waiting for your opinion before making decisions. Waiting for your approval as if he couldn't breathe without it.
You finally looked up, catching him in the act of admiring you. A faint smile touched your lips before disappearing almost immediately. Dean looked away for half a second, rubbing the back of his neck with a harsh clearing of his throat. There was an awkwardness that felt strangely out of character.
Dean Winchester, the man who flirted with any women who breathed, talked his way through police stations, and faced monsters without hesitation suddenly looked uncertain beneath your gaze.
It's not like you never felt something there before, you always looked at Sammy like a little brother and treated him as such, but for Dean it was different.
Always wanting to catch his eyes on you, those lingering touches when you had to share a bed. You just assumed it was because of how close you were in ages, that it would disappear with time.
“You’ve been staring at me since we've stepped into this town dean” your voice was low and smooth, making him wish you were the only thing he could listen to.
“Have not” Dean stated, an obvious lie that not even the police would buy. He knows there's a conversation to be had and yet, he's been dancing around that fact for years.
“We’ve been hunting together since you were tall enough to reach the pedals of the Impala, Dean. You think I don’t know when you’re just itching to say something?” Dean shifted in the old wooden chair, creaking under his weight. He looked down at his hands as his thumbs picked at a callus on his palm. The bravado he usually wore like a second skin was nowhere to be found. “Just… thinking,” he muttered.
“About what, it must be serious if it's gotten you all weird” you said, sliding off the bed and walking towards him, a slight sway to your hips as your socks were silently gliding across the thin carpet.
Dean didn’t stand up. He didn’t move to close the distance. Instead, he stayed seated, silently wishing Sam was here so he could switch the conversation.
His knees were already spread, head tilted back slightly to keep you in his sight. It was a position of vulnerability, not that he was aware of it.
You stopped right in front of him, close enough that the scent of his soap (something cheap and herbal) filled your lungs.
You reached out, fingers ghosting over the collar of that faded AC/DC shirt. Dean’s breath hitched. He didn't pull away, in fact he leaned in closer. Yearning for your touch. Something he's missed so so dearly.
You let your hand slide from his collar to his jaw, your thumb brushing over the slight stubble there. You felt him shiver, something he doesn't do often. Not in front of women and especially not in front of you.
"Dean," you murmured, your voice a low, a steady anchor in the quiet room. "Look at me." His eyelids slowly lifted. Those beautifully big green eyes that you love staring back at you. His comparison to a deer is uncanny with his doe eyes, though you know if you told him that he get all pissy.
He didn't pull you in; just slightly holding on as a means to ground himself, his fingers bunching the fabric of your black tanktop as if you disappear."Just... tired of pretending”
“Pretending?” You echoed, a slight giggle following behind. Your thighs brushed against his as you stepped closer, closing the gap between you. “Pretending that I’m okay with just… this,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “Pretending that I don’t want to crawl out of my own skin every time you walk out of a room. Pretending I don't want just one night where I don't have to be me.”
He let out a jagged breath, forehead dropping to rest against your stomach.
He not only looked but felt small despite his broad shoulders. The weight of being John’s soldier, Sam’s protector, and the world's savior had finally buckled him. But here, with you, he didn't have to carry it. He could give it to you, even if it was just for a night.
You knew the pain, not to his extent but you knew.
You wanted to stop pretending as well, pretending you didn't see you the way his eyes watered up after a terrible hunt, pretending you didn't know where he went when he thought you and Sam were asleep. Leaving at 3 or 4 am just to sit in baby and break down.
You saw first hand how he grew up, but that didn't stop you from just hold him, cradle him in your arms.
“Then stop,” you said softly. Snaking your fingers into his damp hair and tugging gently, forcing him to look back up at you.
You could tell that stopped his overthinking.
“Stop fighting it, Dean. You don’t have to be the strong one tonight. Not with me.” The look in his eyes shifted. A flicker of relief, followed by a dark and heavy heat.
He liked the command in your tone. He’d spent his whole life taking orders from a father who didn't love him enough or a destiny that loved him too much. But this was different.
“Tell me what to do,” he whispered, his grip on your shirt tightening. “P-please”
You leaned down, your breath fanning over his lips, teasing him with the proximity. “Kiss me"
Dean didn't hesitate. He surged upward but didn't take it. He waited that final millisecond for you to close the gap, wanting your control. When your lips finally met his, it was like a dam breaking. He groaned into your mouth, a low, vibrating sound of pure desperation. His hands moved from your waist to your back, pressing you flush against him. Your tongue exploring his mouth as you stumbled, searching for the dingy motel bed.
You pulled back just enough to look at him, your hand going down to his chest. His face was flushed, his lips swollen and wet, and those green eyes were glazed over. Looking only at you. With a slight push, he fell backwards onto the bed before you followed along. Straddling him as your top came off.
He started to reach for your hips, a reflex from a man who is always in control, but you caught his wrists. Pinning them briefly against the mattress before letting go, hovering your hands just inches above his.
“Hands at your sides, Dean. Don’t move them unless I tell you to.”
A shiver raced through him, visible in the way his shoulders tensed and then slumped. “Yes,” he rasped, words catching in his throat. “Yes, ma'am.”
Dean Winchester brain rot also this was supposed to be longer but I'm lazy 😪