You had always had very prevalent nightmares. It was something that stuck with you in childhood then followed you into your adult years. You had learned to deal with them, medication, alcohol but tonight was particularly rough.
You didn't know what had caused it. It was a normal day just hanging out with the boys. You all had been visiting Bobby for a couple nights, cleaning weapons and whatnot.
But the minute your head hit the couch pillow, which you rested on, it was like a switch.
It was always more or less the same nightmare: you running through the woods, being chased by something that would not show its face. You knew its presence was dark and evil and the intent with which it was chasing you was murderous.
You were trying to escape it, yelling out for Sam and Dean, hoping, praying that they heard you but they never did. They never came to your rescue, and you couldn't even save yourself. You were tripping over sticks and logs.
There was no exit; there was no escape. No light at the end of the tunnel. No indicator that you were ever going to make it out. It was terrifying. Felt like there was an anxiety attack on the verge of bubbling over. Panic clouded your vision as you could hardly breathe, suffocating.
It wasn't until you felt a hand on your shoulder shaking you that you got pulled out. You wildly opened your eyes, sweat coating your face and body as you tried to fixate on your surroundings, making out where the hell you were.
"Hey- hey sweetheart it's me, you're okay." A rough voice said, trying it's best to calm you down as you realized it was Dean's. You were confused. You sat up quickly, trying to wipe away the sleepiness that was still stuck in your eyes.
He could tell you were still in panic mode and on the verge of grabbing your knife and striking whatever came at you.
"It's okay you're safe, you're with me"
He repeated and you finally looked him in his eyes, breathing slowly and starting to calm down as you instinctively grabbed his hand, you didn't know what it was about Dean but somehow he always made you feel understood and yet so misunderstood.
When he talked to you calmly, it was like you and him were the only people in the world. However when you got into arguments, it was just fireβlike he was raining hell upon you and you couldn't stop it. It was difficult.
"You were screaming, 'bout woke Bobby up and y'know how hard he sleeps" His chuckle pulled you out of your train of thought, making you realize you hadn't told him a damn thing yet. He also knew you had terrible nightmares. Hell he's the one who taught you a breathing method he learned which was surprising, considering how he handles his emotions.
"Y-yeah it was the- the nightmare again" You sighed, pulling back both your hands back to rub them down your face, collecting sweat in them before rubbing them against the couch.
It was terrible. All you want to do is get away from all the evil in the world by sleeping and yet, you still have to fight them even in your dreams. Only you can't fight it. It finds a way to grab you, pull you back into the darkest bits of your mind.
"I can't ever escape it Dean. It won't go away. I don't understand why." It pained him to see you this way.
All he wanted to do was fix it. That's what he believed he was made for. Fixing things, fixing problems, yours, Sammy's. That's his designated job, so to see you so broken, it ripped a hole in him.
"I know sweetheart but it'll go away, just gotta wait it out" You wanted to believe him, take him for his word, but even you can see the doubt that flickered across his mind. With the amount of scary things y'all hunt, with all the things you've seen.
This nightmare would eventually fade , but it'll be replaced by a darker oneβone that scares you a bit more.
But you know Dean will be there. You know he'll hold your hand through it, even if it won't get rid of it completely.
At least there'll be somebody in your corner backing you up.
"Can you stay with me, just till I go back to sleep" You asked, hesitant at first, not wanting to seem weak in his eyes. But you knew he wouldn't care; he would say yes to anything for you in a heartbeat. You knew him like that.
"Scooch " Was all he said before nudging you into a position where he could lay you on top of him, turning you over so your chest is against his as he pulled the quilt over the both of you.
You smiled to yourself, a soft kiss being placed on top of your head as your eyes began to flutter shut.
The softness of it all was what really made your heart skip a beat. This was something you both did, even as teenagers in a dingy motel room; a way to feel normal in some sense. Trying to find comfort in places you never got it.
Affection was common between you both, intimate moments that were kept secret even if everyone knew.
It only ever happened at night. Maybe after a bad hunt, or say a nightmare.
Dean was affectionate at night. Something about it being dark let his vulnerability slip through the cracks. And just for a brief second, you could tell that the man actually had feelings and emotions, something that he pretended not to have in front of anyone or anything, saying it was too cheesy or rom-com.
But you knew. You knew that he needed this. Maybe even more than you.
His hands glided under your shirt, rubbing up and down in a comforting wayβskin to skin that made you feel even closer. You inhaled his cologne; he always smelled like a mix of motor oil, smoke, and leather.
"This is nice" You said drowsily, finally feeling the effects of being woken up at 4 am.
Dean just huffed in agreement. You could tell he was also tired as not two even minutes later he was snoring.
Luckily, the entire night went by smoothly until you were both woken up with Sam giggling as his camera flash went off in your facees.
Of course Dean just stuck him the middle finger before pulling you in closer.
