SOONER OR LATER,

you're just like your father.

you're just like your mother.

you spent years tearing people in this family down and now you're upset they won't come back?

i can't believe i used to defend you.

you always need someone to blame, and when you can't find one, you make one.

you don't get a medal for finally doing what you should've done years ago.

every apology you've ever given this family came with conditions.

i wasn't trying to start a fight. i was trying to have a conversation.

don't stand there acting shocked. you created this.

you know exactly why i don't come around anymore.

why am i always the one apologizing?

every problem in this family gets traced back to you eventually.

you taught me exactly what kind of person i never wanted to become.

you keep calling us ungrateful. for what, exactly?

we keep pretending this family works.

every family gathering turns into this because of you.

the worst part is that i still wanted you to choose me.

you don't miss me. you miss controlling me.

you taught me what love shouldn't look like.

you never wanted a family. you wanted control.

you're exactly the person you swore you'd never become.

everybody notices it. they just won't say it out loud.

you ruin everything you touch and then wonder why nobody calls.

maybe if you called once in a while, you'd know what's going on.

you don't get to disappear for ten years and come back giving advice.

i didn't ask you to be my parent.

maybe they're gone, but we're still dealing with what they left behind.

we had to learn how to adapt because of you!

if everyone keeps leaving you, maybe the problem isn't everyone else.

you want sympathy for wounds you've spent years giving to us.

i can still hear the way you talked to me when i was a kid.

you're the reason nobody wants to be in the same room anymore.

nobody ever defends me when you're around.

i don't know why you're crying now.

you always have an excuse.

you've been blaming everyone else for so long you've forgotten you're the common denominator.

you didn't protect me.

nobody warned me that forgiveness and trust were different things.

you can yell all you want. it won't change what happened.

nobody told me because they knew i'd be angry.

you forgot my birthday.

i shouldn't have had to raise myself.

you have no idea what was said about you after you left.

don't raise your voice at me.

you've been holding this family hostage with your temper for decades.

i wasn't trying to replace anyone.

i would rather tell a stranger my problems than tell you.

that's your problem. you mistake fear for respect.

nobody asked what i wanted.

funny how you only show up when you need something.

you think being loud makes you right.

you act surprised every time there are consequences.

go ahead and leave. that's what you're best at.

you weren't there, so don't tell me how it felt.

everybody walks on eggshells around you.

you make everything about yourself.

you never even tried to know me.

you've hated me since the day i showed up.

it was easier to blame me than deal with the truth.

you're mad at the wrong person.

you had every opportunity to be better than this.

you're acting exactly like them.

why am i hearing this from everyone except you?

you treat strangers better than your own family.

you lost the right to call yourself family a long time ago.

i became the problem the moment i stopped staying quiet.

you inherited more than just their eyes.

for once in your life, stop defending yourself and listen.

i wish someone had believed me the first time.

i don't owe you forgiveness.

you don't miss me. you miss access to me.

i didn't realize love came with so many conditions.

nobody is attacking you. we're finally holding you accountable.

i spent years cleaning up your messes.

we all learned how to survive you in different ways.

you're not upset about what happened, you're upset people know about it now.

funny. that's not what you told everyone else.

you don't get to rewrite my childhood because the truth embarrasses you.

i've spent my entire life paying for your mistakes.

keep talking. every word just proves my point.

stop pretending everything is fine.

i don't care how difficult they were. they were still my parent.

you were the favorite and you still act like you suffered the most.

nobody asked how i was doing after it happened.

i can't tell if you forgot or if you just didn't care.

the worst thing that ever happened to this family is that nobody ever told you no.

i don't hate you. i just don't trust you.

that's not how it happened.

i wasn't invited, remember?

you had chance after chance after chance.

you keep asking why we're distant, but you never ask what caused it.

the second they walk into the room, you change.

you don't get credit for doing the bare minimum.

i spent years trying to earn your approval.

you're impossible to love and exhausting to be around.

i stopped expecting better from you years ago.

you don't get to scream at people and call it honesty.

that's the first honest thing you've said all day.

you don't get to demand respect from people you've never respected.

i wasn't jealous. i was neglected.

nobody here is scared of you anymore.

i don't care what your intentions were. look at the damage.

you always leave before anyone can confront you.

nobody abandoned you. we just got tired of being treated like garbage.

you were in the house, but you were never really there.

you never wanted a family. you wanted an audience.

every story you tell somehow makes you the hero.

i learned a long time ago not to expect anything from you.

you can't keep blaming your childhood forever.

you left me alone with them.

you say we're family whenever it's convenient.

the rest of us learned to survive your moods.

the second someone stops agreeing with you, they're suddenly the enemy.

you always act like you're the only one who had a hard childhood.

i don't even know if you like me.

you don't get to play victim now.

i spent my childhood being afraid of you.

don't compare me to them.

every generation in this family passes the damage down and calls it tradition.

the only reason this family still talks to you is guilt.

i didn't forget your birthday. i just didn't think you'd care.

stop pretending this conversation is beneath you.

the only time you call is when you need something.

i was a child.

i don't know what's worse, your anger or your silence.

we were all scared of you.

the only person who doesn't know how selfish you are is you.

you weren't the only one grieving.

we all know who they're going to side with.

i spent more time defending you than you ever spent defending me.

nobody talks about what happened because they're afraid you'll leave again.

why is everyone afraid of upsetting you?

they are in deep woods , isolated country , in the place where few humans wander . and maybe they would seem drastically out of place , if they too were not part of the wild around them . if they were not as native as the roots dug deep into the earth , as natural as the soft rustling as creatures in the underbrush , but they are . and they stand still as the trees around them , their head canted to the side as they peer down at the dirt beneath them ---- studying the cross of wolf tracks . but there is an oddness to it , one they've learned to discern since they were a teenager . but the problem is that there are so many . a pack , a hunting party . and that is a concern to them . and they are about to kneel down for a better look when they're hit by something with all the grace of a hurricane ---- or maybe a boulder with legs , would be more apt . the air is pushed from their lungs , and the earth seems to buck up to catch them , but they still land hard among the rocks and mud . " god fucking -- damn -- " it comes out nearly a wheeze , a harsh cough as they push themselves back up , a hand reaching to touch the thin trail of blood dripping from their nose . they feel anger , old and familiar , rising their chest ---- their teeth bared , ready to snarl . but the boulder , or man , as they can see now , is already rushing to apologize ; and for a moment they seem caught off guard by it , softened , almost , as they study the contours of his face caught in the soft glow of the moon , their face dropping into a frown as they sit in the decay of the forest floor . " i'm fine " it comes out harsher than they intend , turning to spit out the blood that has slipped between their lips , keeping him in the corner of their vision all the while . " do you have a habit of bowling over strange women in the woods , or is this your first time ? "

1.  what is a deal-breaking trait in another muse for romantic consideration?  this can be as detailed or as not as you like (to extend:  if your muse doesn’t necessarily have one,  why?)

2.  would your muse date someone who was fat?  *   (to extend:   if they wouldn’t,  why?  do they have a body type they prefer in others?)     

3.  how does your muse treat people who work in the service industry? 

4.  does your muse tip well/what would be the reason they didn’t? 

5.  sleeping positions are important;  what is your muses solo  &  with someone else? 

6.  what does their bedding look like?  (to extend:  do they make their bed every day?  how often do they change it?)    extra points for images. 

7.  what does your muse smell like?  (to extend:  does it vary throughout the seasons?  do they use signature perfumes or scents?  does their diet impact this?) 

8.  while there’s often a correlation between what a muse’s personal  &  inspired playlists look like,  what is your muse’ preferred genre of music?  what songs are playing if someone asks?   (think about the time you’re writing your character in). 

9.  name three other canon characters from any sort of media that you could compare/draw inspiration to your muse  &  explain why  (to extend:  can you detail a specific moment or trait that makes you draw this comparison?).

10.  show examples of three pieces of art in any form that represent elements of your muse  &  their imagery.    (to extend:  why?  is it the form of the art itself as sculpture or painting or use of oils?  is it the colours?  is it the image itself?). 

11.  tell me a line from a song that makes me think of your muse  &  tell me why.  is it the lyrics itself?  the composition?  

12.  does your muse suffer from revenge bedtime procrastination?  (the lack of free time during the day that means they will sacrifice sleep in order to garner this said ‘free time’). 

13.  do they look at themselves in reflective surfaces when passing them?