we are all a-stutter

yunho/changmin, han geng. pg then there is the matter of food.

For the second time this week, the refrigerator is empty.

"I don't understand," Yunho wails, sticking his head into their kitchen cabinets. Aside from the lone box of cereal none of them like, these are empty as well. "I was prepared! Where did I go wrong? I've been poor since childhood, I should know how to plan food to small budgets!"

Changmin peers over his shoulders, then abruptly pulls back, sheepish. "Oh. Uhh, I wasn't so..."

Yunho turns to him, so slow it is eerie. The look on his face is equally ominous.

"You ate all of our food?!" Not waiting for an answer (because, really, Changmin's stomach speaks for itself), Yunho jabs a finger at his chest. "What are we going to eat for the rest of the month?!"

“B-but, all we had was ramyun and instant stuff! We could buy fresh stuff? That's cheaper right?" Changmin's eyes widen and round, like he's had a epiphany. "We could cook?"

"We don't know how to cook?"

"I can use," says Changmin with his chin lifted proudly, "the microwave."

Entirely underwhelmed, Yunho can only blink at him. "So can I, Changmin-ah. But. That's not really useful. We don't have a microwave and even if we did? We can't live on microwaved meals forever, it's not healthy!"

Changmin deflates. "Oh." He pauses. "Well then."

After a moment's wallowing in self pity - and hysteria, I am going to starve and die, Changmin cries, - they end up in front of #04-02, desperately hoping that someone would answer. Preferably Han Geng, because he'd actually be useful whereas Heechul would just laugh at their plight.

Han Geng laughs at them anyway, but his usefulness still stands.

"Can't you buy fresh meat and produce instead?" he asks, after the two starving souls have helped themselves to his and Heechul's leftovers from dinner. Pulling over the fridge door, he sweeps his hand around its fullness with a flourish. "It'll be cheaper and you won't have to starve after all."

Changmin eyes the contents of the fridge, all bright green vegetable and neatly packaged meat, sceptically. "I think we'll starve anyway," he says sadly.

"That's what Changmin suggested!" Yunho beams, momentarily proud, before he realises he now has to confess their absolute and utter lack of culinary abilities. "Ahhh, but you see, the thing is..."

When he hears the full story, Han Geng begins to laugh again, but then he catches sight of their expressions, fallen and distraught.

"But you can at least work an oven right? Because they're sale at..." He trail off as he is met with absent stares.

"The - that thing with the knobs and stuff?" Changmin tries, then winces when Han Geng flicks him on the forehead.

Valiantly, however, Han Geng soldiers on. "What sort of pots or pans do you have?"

Their faces do lovely renditions of a real life ':|'.

"The stove, can you start it?"

At this point, Yunho's staring down pathetically at his plate while Changmin fidgets in his seat.

Han Geng sighs. "Can you at least boil water?"

Finally, the boys perk up. Han Geng rolls his eyes and pushes off the kitchen counter. He supposes, resignedly, that he's nice enough a person to help them out, despite the stack of paperwork waiting for him in his study. And feeding his best friend means that Han Geng can finally get some leverage on Heechul right? Right. That settled, he dumps their plates into the sink, then makes his way around the counter to chase them to the door.

"Okay, go get dressed, we're going out to the supermarket."

It's around here that Yunho realises he's still in his sleep boxers. He is red, and then out the door, and then back within five minutes.

"What you need is a wok," Han Geng calls over his shoulder, Yunho and Changmin trailing along behind him to the elevator. "You can cook anything in a wok.”

"Anything," Changmin echoes, awed.

yunho/changmin, r?  extension of previous ficlet. because. innuendo is fun?

(...)

"What are you doing?"  Changmin demands, dragging an arm away from his waist. "We're unpacking! Stop that!"

“But Changmin! New house!” Yunho repeats loudly, and waggles his eyebrows for effect. Just in case, he leans in and licks sneakily at Changmin's ear, delighting at the shiver that results. “New house! New surfaces! Unchristened bed!”

“... I've seen porn like that before,” Changmin informs him, unimpressed. Still, he raises his hands obligingly to let Yunho tug his t-shirt over his head, and keens when Yunho immediately latches onto his nipples.

Yunho beams against Changmin's chest and between playful nips tells him, “Then you know where this is going!”

A hand slides into the back of his jeans, and Changmin shudders, a full body tremble that cant his hips upwards against Yunho. “Wait," he gasps, "lube.”

Yunho stiffens up against him, and not in the sexy way either. With a huff, he peels away from Changmin's neck and confesses, “I may have packed it in one of the boxes.”

There is a moment in which both boys survery the many, many boxes they are surrounded by.

“Oh my god,” Changmin says faintly. Yunho takes one look at his face and bursts out laughing.

yunho/changmin, pg-13 they move in and stuff.

homin apartment!au nc-17 for a blowjob

#04-01

When Yunho gets out of the shower he finds Changmin sprawled on their sofa reading in nothing but his boxers with an obvious hard on. 

“Is that candy I see tucked in your underwear, Changdola?” Yunho asks as he saunters towards Changmin in nothing but a towel.

Changmin doesn’t answer, but moves aside to make room for Yunho. He slides down next to Changmin and palms his crotch.

“Such nice, hard candy, I see,” Yunho comments as he lifts up the waistband of Changmin’s boxers and peers inside.

“Hyung if you want to give me a blowjob just do it. There’s no need for stupid candy comments,” Changmin replies, chucking the book he was reading aside and shimmying out of his boxers.

Yunho ignores him and grabs hold of Changmin’s erection, relishing in the familiar weight and warmth, then slowly licks the head.

“Mmm Changdola-flavoured! My favourite!”

“Hyung if you don’t stop making those stupid comments I will –” Changmin was cut off as Yunho licks along the vein on the underside of his cock and then takes the head into his mouth. 

Changmin sucks in his moans and runs his fingers in Yunho’s hair just to grip onto something, out of habit. Yunho’s singing something with a mouthful of cock now, and the vibrations cause Changmin to jerk involuntarily. He grips Yunho’s hair just a little harder, to ensure that he does accidentally thrust and choke Yunho, and watches through lidded eyes as his cock disappears into Yunho’s warm delicious sexy mouth.

But when Changmin realises what Yunho’s singing he pulls him off his cock. 

“What the fuck. Doe, a deer?”

“A female deer,” Yunho sings.

donghae, heechul apartment!au pg

#05-01

Donghae’s room was worse than the rest of the apartment; it was as messy, but smelled of fish due to his insistence to keep a fish tank in the house. However, since Sungmin had cats, he had to keep the tank in a place they couldn’t reach: his room. Heechul holds his breath as he enters, and immediately made his way to the curtains. He tosses them aside and opens the windows, letting light and fresh air in.

The Donghae-shaped lump on the bed groans and sits up. 

“You’re no fun to wake up,” Heechul complains. 

“Fuck you,” Donghae says sans formalities, and gets out of bed to feed his fish.

heechul, sungmin apartment!au g

#05-01

Sungmin was fast asleep when Heechul slams the bedroom door open. His limbs were haphazardly thrown across the bed, an arm strewn on top of one of his guitars. At his feet, his other cat Sen sleeps soundly, oblivious to the imminent danger.

Heechul circles the bed, brainstorming of the most efficient method to wake his ex-roommate up. A bucket of water usually works, but he has no time to fill one up right now. The guitar would have to do.

He grabs hold of the guitar’s neck and pulls as hard as he could, causing Sungmin to slide half off the bed. He makes a whine in his sleep, then shifts back onto the bed and snores softly again. 

Well then, he's asked for it.

Heechul glances briefly at the guitar before strumming a series of clashing chords as hard as he could.

It works. Sungmin shoots up immediately and makes whiny protests and grabby hands at his guitar.

“Took you long enough,” Heechul says as he tosses the guitar back to its owner.

“Mmmmrghofsdjf,” Sungmin replies as the guitar hits him square in the stomach.

“Yunho’s moving in today, so you’d better make yourself useful,” Heechul orders. 

“Aajsdhjkfalsfie!” Sungmin protests, ever so coherent in the morning.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to wake your roommate up now, so you’d better get ready. You have twenty minutes,” Heechul says, and leaves the room.

heechul, homin apartment!au pg-13 for swearing!

#04-01

Years ago, Heechul’s first impression of Yunho’s (boyfriend? friend?) flatmate Changmin was that he was as grumpy as fuck, and that Yunho could’ve done so much better. But all of that changed when Changmin laughed at his face when he corrected Hankyung’s mispronunciation wrongly.

Shim Changmin was an ass. Still an ass, Heechul thinks, as he watches Changmin strut across the carpark with a tiny box in his arms as the others were huff puffing their way through, arms laden with large, heavy boxes.

Why the fuck is Yunho with this guy, anyway?

"I love him," Yunho says simply as he shuffles boxes around his brand new apartment. "He'll grow onto you, hyung, don't worry."

Heechul purses his lips and waits until Changmin is within earshot to reply.

"He dresses like a hobo," Heechul states when he spots an unruly mop of Changmin-shaped hair in the corridor. "Also, he's as grumpy as –"

"Hyung," Changmin calls before Heechul can finish. "Help me out with this, will you?"

Yunho blinks at Changmin, then turns to Heechul and back at Changmin again.

"Uh, sure," he says, dropping the box and going off to help his roommate/boyfriend with whatever.