xystarion

I was thinking about what Spawn Astarion says when Tav/Durge hints at leaving him: “Oh, shit, did I do something wrong?”

I’ve often seen people interpret this line as proof of how low Astarion’s self-esteem is—how he immediately assumes that it must be because of something he did wrong or something fundamentally flawed about him. And that’s absolutely true. But I also think this statement reveals just how much he has actually grown and changed compared to before.

Throughout the adventure, Astarion has consistently avoided accusations or responsibility for many things.

• “Killed is such a strong word. Not many corpses have your vigor,” he says when he loses control during the bite scene.

• “Don’t look at me like that—Cazador’s orders,” he tells the Gur children when they confront him about his actions.

• “It’s just six of them, and they’re vampire spawn,” he says about his siblings.

• “I’d have bedded you three times over by now if you were normal,” he tells Karlach during their first night together, shifting the blame onto her.

• “They’re as good as dead, they’re starving, they’ll cause a massacre,” he argues when justifying sacrificing the souls to Mephistopheles.

He deflects, downplays, and avoids responsibility.

But when Tav/Durge hints at leaving him? Astarion doesn’t hide. He doesn’t deflect. He directly asks if he did something wrong—even at the risk of hearing yes, that he actually did.

That’s not a small thing. To me, it shows openness, a willingness to be vulnerable, to take responsibility, and to accept the possibility of being hurt. It’s not just his low self-esteem talking—it’s also the courage and strength he has gained.

Astarion talking with his hands

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