Pockets of Moonlight @xyouvandalx - Tumblr Blog

So

I keep meaning to write a new thing but then getting distracted and I ended up not writing it and there it's done! I'll write something new and "serious" soon.

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It’s been a while

Hi

New things

I was told to try new things, be exposed to new things, and do new things to find where I belong.

but all it’s been doing is making me find more places I don’t belong, and realize how much more I don’t belong already. Which just makes me really sad when I see everyone else smile.

xyouvandalx

I will try with you, and I’ll keep trying because I told you I would and that I wouldn’t stop until you said.

Please don’t ever tell me to stop.

A question I've been asking myself a lot is, "why is this my life"? Super dramatic and stupid, but I can't help but wonder and ask.

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writingllama-deactivated2020012

What if I never forget you? What if, for the rest of my life when I meet someone new, I can never fall for them because they aren’t you?

What If / Unrequited Love (via writingllama)

I think

I think the most destructive thing I've done for myself is learn what truth, real humanity, and morales are, and then watching everyone go against these truths and knowing it can't be helped, or be chastised for knowing.

books-n-quotes

You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace (via books-n-quotes)

Why is this my life Why am I like this Why do I get like this And why is it so much and so hard

The wanting and the sadness Taken from a single word Captured picture that ruins a moment Yet my life is different

It ruins my week how much I feel it It bruises my chest how hard it feels And it can be taken away, you can keep it away If you didn’t stay silent and you said

driedoutpens

i want to know

everything about you.

your hopes,

your dreams,

your plans,

your doubts,

your fears,

your insecurities,

your embarrassing stories,

your everything.

and i promise,

i’ll love it all.

for i love you,

and everything

that comes with you.

things i wish i could say pt 3 (k.n. 4-27-18)

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It’s a weird empty feeling I can’t describe A feeling that takes up space and has weight A feeling that is familiar and easily recognizable But a feeling that I can’t make go away

It comes and goes when it wants It stays for however it likes It doesn’t want more than to be felt But I just want to it taken away

Taken away by you when you smile Pushed away by your words when we talk Any image you show me to make me smile You make this feeling go away

By replacing it with another A feeling just for you

#poem #untitled #feelings

Awake with Thoughts and Feelings

I have these feelings I know I shouldn’t have.

There’s only one person that can tell me if they’re okay or not, but the problem is they are the person to keep this from.

It’s worse than keeping a secret it’s worse than not knowing It’s worse than being silent It’s having it all, and doing nothing at all

#Poem #Feelings #thoughts #regret #helpless #knowing #silence #latenight

Sometimes I just want cuddles, and not so much that I want to be cuddle, but more that I can help someone sleep, because it’s always something hard for me to do.

Quiet

It’s like if the hot was taken As if the cold went away A time that just was not Nothing but blinking left

The soft thud from inside A wind that holds and let’s go The stillness that holds together A stillness that amplifies it all

Does it help, make things worse Keeping everything out Is concentration sought When it makes everything inside

Worse

#poem #Quiet #Head Space

Ready For Dreams

It’s unintentional It kinda’ just happens A mind that wonders disobediently And feelings that unleash without warning

Used to the dark of closed eyes lids And used to the dark of a quiet room With patience for something that won’t come Yet still mimicking positions as if it will

Wondering if there was anything at all Thinking of what might help Watching shadows begin and grow Knowing today just continued, and didn’t start

Do i risk waiting more Do I risk possible help At my fingertips, disguised messages Seeking comfort in unrelated banter

Do i surrender my rest with the risen light Or stay the same mess, illuminated and bright

#Poem #Existing #Late night #Can't Sleep #up all night

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I compliment you the most when I’m feeling bad. When I feel like giving up, when I feel like I’m not worth it, when I know I’m a bad person, and when I know that things are better without me

That is when I compliment you the most, because I know you deserve it when I know I don’t.

Everything Exactly

It’s a life I don’t live An idea I didn’t have The words I never spoke and the time I didn’t use

Despite all I don’t know I do know what I feel And everything I want Just for you

I want you to know all that you are I want you to feel the way your smile Makes me feel and I want you to feel All the happiness and more you inspire

I want you to know how great you are To think of yourself as a blessing because All my worth comes from you Everything exactly as you, is worth smiling

#poem #non love poem #Everything Exactly

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