ANGST FEED US ANGST PLEASE
to conceive . . . ( kunikuzushi )
[ male reader, kingdom ! au, angst, trans ! kunikuzushi, infertility, sex. fujoshis, mlm fetishizers, dni. ]
he’s broken, he concluded. kunikuzushi felt tears well in his eyes, his hand instinctively going to his flat belly – a harsh truth that it will forever be that way. the mage, who broke the news to him, gave him an empathetic look.
what would you say? will you be mad? no, no, he knows you won’t be. you’re the kindest emperor ever. it was why he felt such a failure that you, a king, chose him, a mere commoner before you made him your consort, but he failed giving you an heir.
he won’t be pleased, he will hold a grudge against me, kunikuzushi’s mind kept slipping in the dark as he heads back to your shared chambers. he will find someone else—
he sits on the bed. it was only now that he noticed his shoulders were shaking violently as he sobs. he’s failed his sole purpose in life, of giving you an heir. he felt so undeserving of his title as your consort – you put him on such high regard, defend him whenever other nobles gets too rowdy with their mouths, and yet he can’t even pay you back by bearing a child.
that night, kunikuzushi laid on his side of bed, far away from you. he would usually be buzzing with excitement whenever he sees you at the door, but now...
“beloved,” you whispered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “has something happened? come, please, love. talk to me.”
your soft, reassuring tone made him crumble. for the umpteenth time that day, he cried. he gripped the sheets tight that his knuckles turned white. he sniffled.
“oh, love.” the next thing kunikuzushi knew, he was sitting on your lap; your arms were around his waist protectively. you gazed up at him with nothing but deep love and admiration. he doesn’t deserve you, you deserve someone better than keeping being wed to someone broken as him. “why do you cry?” you asked.
kunikuzushi lets himself be selfish and clung onto you, putting his arms around your neck and sobbing against your shoulders. he grips your robes tight, afraid that you’ll slip away – but he knows you aren’t like that.
in the dim moonlight illuminating your chambers, you held him as he cried. you didn’t pry after his stammering, you just let him cry and cry, until he felt like there are no more tears coming out of him. he sniffled, steeling himself. he still holds you tight. “i w-went to the mage, earlier,” he hiccups, and you run your hands up and down his back gently, letting him know that you’re listening. “and... and i’m...” he felt tears again – it seems like there are more. “i cannot conceive. i-i’m broken! i’m infertile, i cannot give you an heir! i’m so sorry, your majesty, i am so sorry – please, forgive me — ”
through his mantra of “you deserve someone better, someone who can give you a child,” you console him by cupping his cheeks gently in your hands. “you are not broken, my love. it’s... it’s okay. there are plenty other ways of getting a child, yes?”
no. no. he knows how much you value tradition. surely you can’t just adopt a child, not of your bloodline, and raise them to rule the kingdom for the future. he knows you are only saying this to make him feel better, and he wants to slap you for it.
“hush, now, darling,” you said, wiping the tears from his eyes. “it’s okay.” then, you kissed him, chaste and soft. in spite of himself, he leaned into the kiss. he’s so selfish for allowing himself be in your presence further.
when you pull away, he’s already gripping the collar of your robes tight and pulling you back against his lips. he kissed you so earnestly and demandingly, as if wanting to prove something. please, don’t replace me. i can still be a good spouse, please...
you obliged with his advances. pushing your tongue in his mouth, he can’t help but moan, one which was muffled against your lips.
you laid him on the bed, and, without breaking the heated kiss, you began undressing him while he’s already slipping your robes off your shoulders. he was urgent, while you took your time.
you kissed down to his jaw, neck, to his soft, small mounds of breasts, taking a nipple into your mouth while your hand massages the other – kunikuzushi moans, arching up to you.
in the back of his mind, a cruel voice keeps whispering that he doesn’t deserve this; your mouth, your fingers that are pushing into him, your sweet, sweet words in his ear – none of this he deserves, but he’s selfish, always has been. and so, he indulges.
he cried as you pushed into him, and you were no better, breathing heavily against the crook of his neck. kunikuzushi wraps his legs around your waist, the action made you go deeper, and his eyes rolled back at the sensation.
you’ve set a steady pace as to not overwhelm him, but he just wants you go harder and faster, to be rough, as his punishment for being a failure and being infertile. his nails clawed at your back, and you groaned, biting his neck in retaliation.
the warm feeling of your cum pooling in his belly was a cruel reminder for kunikuzushi that it will not take. again, he cried.
some time later, you and him were at the massive table, with only the two of you eating. time and time again, you’d reassured him that it is okay that he cannot conceive, that you still love him no matter what, and he was starting to believe it until your advisor opened his damned mouth: “your majesty, if his highness kunikuzushi continues to fail giving you an heir”—you can’t help but scowl at the words he’d chosen—“isn’t it, perhaps, the time to look for concubines?”
you saw kunikuzushi tense. though before he hears your answer ( you’ve got no plans of agreeing, however ), he’d already hastily stood up and ran away, tears in his eyes. your heart breaks for him.
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
2087
vaporwave
