Now, I don’t seem to care anymore. :)

Never apologize for choosing yourself over him for the first time. You love him, I know. Straighten up. Wipe away the tears on your cheeks. Do not regret the things you did. Do not blame yourself if he breaks. For once, worry about yourself. Worry about the cracks on your skin, or the lines on your wrist. Worry about the teary nights or the unforgiving days. Worry about the memory rush through sunsets and the emptiness you feel inside despite its beauty. You have done enough. You have stretched yourself far too much to the point that there’s no turning back. You have understood him far more than what anyone could do. You have memorized his demons and comforted them in his sleep. You have arranged his fragments and became his lamp post in the darkness. You have loved him deeply. You have done well. It’s okay that you chose to leave him. He would not understand. He would never. Never at all. He would blame himself. He would blame you. You and your selfishness. You and your closed doors. You and your unloving heart. You and your immature ways. But I understand you, because I know. I know, you are tired of holding your head up high. Only to find out in the end that when you rest, there is no shoulder to hold on to, but only yours. I know, you are tired of spilling your heart open, only then it ends up not returned in the right way. Sometimes, when returned, pieces are missing, and you would have to find it all by yourself. I know about your inner sadness and how easily he could overlook it. You can make everything seem so fine and he wouldn’t notice. That is why sometimes, you choose to close your doors, and he tries to open them with the wrong keys. He jams the lock sometimes, and you welcome him with a crooked smile, but worry not, he can never tell the difference. Hush, love. I know. I know of the listless days, the days when you’re not in the mood for anything. Everything gets annoying and you try your best, but your emotions get ahead of you. I know about the insomniac nights and the never ending thoughts of what ifs. What if I leave him? What if I fall out of love? What if I run away? What if I find another man? What if I do not stay? What happens then? What if he breaks? And yet you have never asked yourself, “What if I break?” What happens then? You leave. You say goodbye. And then, finally, for once in the longest time… You breathe. Deeply. Freely.

Uukit ako ng rebulto para sa sarili kong pagsuko.

Crying out months worth of bottled-up feelings

I’m scared that maybe you’re okay with the fact that you could lose me anytime and you won’t do anything about it.

she’s beauty she’s grace she’s in love with aliens and space

she’s gorgeous, she’s seductive; she wants to be abducted

she’s intelligent - she’s priceless, she’s having an extraterrestrial crisis

she’s brilliant, she’s wise; she’s an alien in disguise

She’s mischievous and smart, that alien has my heart

She’s wild, she’s free, she’s the only alien for me

She’s the moon, she’s the stars, all she wants is to live on Mars

She’s bold, she’s hip, she wants to ride in a rocket ship

She’s cool, she’s hot, she’s a genuine, bonafide astronaut

She’s near, she’s far, she shines brighter than the stars

she’s here, she’s there, she’s a galactic extraordinaire

she’s smart, she’s kind, she’s the alien on my mind

she’s a blessing, she’s a curse, but damn she’s my universe

Mas okay nang malungkot dahil mag-isa, kesa nasa relasyon kang hindi ka masaya.