Chapter Three

Making sure everyone knows that I’m fine alone, when sometimes all I want to be is part of a group. Sometimes I wish you’d bombard me with text messages, even if I don’t feel that way about you or anyone else. Sometimes all I want is a safe place to land when I’m too vulnerable or dark to be left alone.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Looking into someone else’s eyes when I’m telling them how I feel. Eye contact is really difficult for me since I like acting like an emotionless robot. 

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I was angry at someone for something (vague I know) two months ago. I’m finicky with people sometimes, and I just reached a limit with being treated a certain way. Yes, I’m still angry. 

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

Honolulu ^.^ but a really crappy situation. I’d call my mother because I feel like she’d have the hardest time getting over my death (or brush with death) without hearing me say anything. 

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I would try to keep it a secret from everyone, but I can’t keep a secret so I’d probably tell my parents (at the very least) and my best friend... Maybe the person I’m interested in too because why not? 

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

You can’t have one without the other, but if I must... I choose trust. I can love anyone, but trust allows you to know someone on a deeper level I think. 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life? Why or Why not?

Well, I’m almost never late... so I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I were though, to be honest, it depends on my mood. I’d probably freak out for a minute, then call someone to help and risk being late. If I get fired, well... that’s a dumb reason for being fired. 

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

The one I love the most. Like I said, It’s harder to trust people - if someone trustworthy hurts me I’d be pissed, depressed, and emotionally exhausted. 

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

Depends on if I feel the same way. If I do, stand there awkwardly and say “that’s cool” while planning the perfect date in my head. If I don’t, stand there awkwardly, say nothing, while planning how to stay friends without making it any more awkward.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

The last person (I know of) that died was my great uncle, and no - I wouldn’t give up one year of my life because I don’t mess with time, plans, or religion. 

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Honestly, nope. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty good friend, but I come across a lot colder and distant than intended. It can be pretty confusing for people to understand :p 

11. Does love = sex?

.. that’s a loaded question. Honestly, it depends on your relationship with the person and your definition of love.

12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

Nope. Sorry, it’s just they way things go. I wouldn’t expect anyone to give up their job for me either. 

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Maybe two years ago? I rarely speak about my feelings... partially because they’re just written on my face. No one exactly has to guess what I’m feeling. 

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

That I did not love them back. Even though the feeling was mutual, I hate giving up on people regardless of feelings. Rejecting someone is ALWAYS harder for me. 

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

My free time. It may be a selfish, but I CANNOT function without alone time every day. 

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

My parents or best friend. 

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I wouldn’t change anything. 

18. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Any member of law enforcement. 

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

... Do they need CPR? If so, I’d just wait for the ambulance or call someone the help because I don’t know how to administer CPR. 

21. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

This is a dumb question, But I’d be stubborn about it and find a way to ether save all three of us or all three of us die. 

22. Are you old fashioned?

Depends. I fall asleep early, enjoy peace and quiet, but am pretty liberal, and eat like a teenager even though I’m in my twenties. 

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

Monday. I try to be like that all the time. 

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

True love with a guarantee. At least I’d have life experience. 

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

Can we stop judging people for being skinny? Please!? You can’t judge anyone’s health or attitude based on weight alone. And yes, being called “skeletor” hurts too.