welcome lovers

In so many ways I wish I could go back. I wish that 2015 wasn't 11 years ago. I wish I was here with my best friend, eating acai bowls on the beach, walking around in bikinis and blasting music as we drive back into town.

But it's not 2015. I'm not 22. I'm 32. Here with my mom and husband and mother in law. I've fallen out with the friends I used to come here with. My body is different. My mind is different. My hair is different. I am different.

I am a woman now. A married woman. A grown woman. A woman in a way that I wasn't in 2015.

I'd like to think I would give anything to go back. Back to a simpler time. A happier time. A lighter time.

But I don't know if I would.

Because to be back there would mean I'm not here. Not here with my family. My husband and our moms. Riding bikes and playing rummy.