Rita Skeeter

Not even enough gossip today to make a column for each era. Today you get them all in one column.  You don't misbehave as much as you used to. Me, myself and I, not to mention my extremely rabid readers, we are disappointed. Now, gossip.

Lovely. The snatcher isn't only running from his rabid fangirls (which I suspect might be the same as some of my rabid readers. Lovely isn’t it?) He is back to his old misbehaving ways. I've been asked (read threatened ) Yes ME to keep my mouth shut about what this was all about, but you all should keep your windows shut.

And what went on in the changing room? Lovely. I have spies everywhere, Scaboir & Bellatrix. Lovely. Just lovely. Lovely. Mr Lockhart, sorry Mr A Wanker, did not regain his memory like the healers at St Mungo’s thought he would. Another year of therapy then Gildy. Enjoy the straitjacket.

According to a not so anonymous source, Fenrir Greyback is toxic. Seems he broke wind the other day and made several people sick or faint.  That's disgusting even for you Greyback. Albus Dumbledore claims he fancies slippers more than socks. ???  Er what? Lovely. Now even Dumbledore lost it.