to the stars who listen;

            The last time she had uttered a word it had been their sixth year and she had cornered Regulus in the hall. After weeks of being ignored by him, after all the time they had shared together, after that fateful summer, she had spoken her maid. Well really she had yelled it, and made quite a scene. By the time she was done yelling at Regulus, calling him all sorts of names – coward, heartless, lair – she had a small audience, and by the end of the day the whole school was talking about their altercation. That was the last time she had spoken to Regulus Black, after years of friendship she wouldn’t utter a single word to him. 

Now here he was, nearly two years after that day in the hall and she felt as if she might collapse from emotion. Oh how she wanted to hate him, to scream at him again, to turn around, but instead she had to fight the urge to throw her arms around him. She hated herself for being so weak, after everything he did to her, all the pain she endured after his rejection. She was finally beginning to move on, she had even gone on a few dates since leaving Hogwarts, was just coming around to the idea of being touched by someone else besides Regulus. She was so close to moving on and now he was standing before her and all her progress was all for not. 

“Regulus…” She whispered, fighting the urge to reach out and take his hand. She couldn’t understand what had him so worked up, so panicked. Something was terribly wrong, and her instinct was to fix it, fix him. To comfort and hold her former friend and lover. “Reg calm down, what’s going on?” 

“Andromeda’s…daughter?” She said, slowly putting the pieces together. Everyone knew that Andromeda had been excommunicated from the Black family when she ran away with a Ted Tonks, and as far as Doris knew Regulus was still the perfect pureblood son. She looked down at the little girl, now holding on to Regulus’s leg. “Regulus, does Andromeda know you’re with her daughter?” She asked, her mind going to dark places. 

      the panic subdued for a moment as regulus contemplated the situation. here he was in a panic and doris was being nothing but kind, she had even taken a moment to try and calm him down, it clear more than ever that he had never deserved her. doris was and would always be the best that had happened to him, and he had screwed it up, and lost her. so all he could do to not break down and start crying begging for her forgiveness was to offer her a small smile. smiling never did much for regulus, he had been trained as a child to smile -specially in uncomfortable situations- but right now he hoped it would help even for a moment.

      and then his smile turned into a laugh, not the kind that makes your sides hurt but the kind that you let out when it all finally catches up to you, a realization hitting him out of nowhere. his first thought when he spotted doris had been of fear, fear and worry that doris would tell people he kept in contact with his blood traitor cousin, but he could not have been more wrong. because he should’ve known this was doris, and she would never do that. and she was more worried about keeping andromeda’s daughter safe, and even if the implication was that regulus had kidnapped a child, he still could do nothing but laugh.

      he took a deep breath and took nymphadora in his arms, resting her against his hip, she quickly buried her face on his shoulder, confused about the scene unfolding in front of her. ❝hey it’s okay❞ he whispered trying to soothe the girl, ❝dora❞ he said speaking louder and walking towards doris, ❝why don’t you tell my friend doris what’s my name?❞ he asked in a quiet tone, looking at doris as he kept walking, ‘uncle Reg’ dora said and then added ‘ice creawm’ before burying her face on his shoulder again, regulus let out a laugh, ❝i promise i’ll get you some ice cream❞ he said before turning his attention to doris.

      ❝see i’m uncle reg❞ he said with a smirk, ❝andy knows because i kept in contact with her❞ he admitted, knowing that even if time had passed between them, and doris might well be a different person as she stood before him from the girl who yelled at him in the middle of the hallway, he was still willing to trust her, with his life, and the life of those he loved. maybe he never really stopped trusting her, loving her, people do stupid things for love after all. ❝please don’t tell anyone. do you, uh, would you like to join us for ice cream?❞ he said before he was able to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth, dora becoming restless in his arms, ❝she might start doing magic if i don’t get her some...❞

Gabrielle gave an excited shriek upon spotting Draco, small hands reaching out to touch the child. A giggle followed after then she grinned, murmuring a ‘hi baby,’ before turning her attention to her mother and pulling a pout. “Ice cream mama,” The toddler demanded.

“No, not at all,” Millie shook her head. She offered Regulus a small smile that didn’t meet her eyes then added a few more spoonfuls of ice cream to Gabrielle’s bowl. The smile grew a little upon spotting the mess all over her daughter’s face. She could have cleaned her but there was no use since it would all end up back all over her. The most she did was reach over with a napkin to stop some of it from dripping down onto her dress.

“No,” Millie added after a moment of silence. She brought her gaze up to Regulus’ and shrugged her shoulders. “But I’m trying so I guess that’s what counts.” It was what her mother kept telling her. “I wasted money on my own ice cream. I fear I’m not in the mood anymore.”

     regulus dragged the high chair closer to the one the other toddler was sitting in, ❝this is draco❞ he said in a soft voice handing draco a plastic spoon, ❝please don’t make a big mess okay?❞ he asked even if he knew it was a hopeless request, luckily he had learned some spells when he babysat dora.

     as the children seemed to be at peace, ice cream was currently being shared and regulus trembled thinking about what narcissa might do to him if she ever found out, he turned his attention to the stranger who had let them join them at the table. ❝i’m regulus❞ he said fishing in his coat for a handkerchief, she might have napkins but no one should wipe their tears with a napkin, he gave her a smile as he handed her the squared piece of fabric. 

     ❝you don’t have to talk about it, but uh- i’ve been told that talking helps, i mean if you want...❞ he wasn’t really good at this, not one bit. ❝we could just sit in silence and eat ice cream, or in your case just watch it melt... sorry that was me trying and failing to make a joke...❞ he said feeling himself blush at his mumbling. at least the kids were having fun.

The war was beginning to take its toll on Dorcas. There were days she wondered if the stakes were far too great. They came seldom—few and far in-between, but when they struck it was near damn impossible to escape the storm’s violent rampage. The hit witch hardly took notice when the day dissipated into night and she was left alone to wrestle her wretched thoughts inside the Hit Wizard Headquarters. She couldn’t determine if this looming feeling was a temporary roadblock or if she had failed her part altogether, but she was still here with her feet planted on solid ground so she refused to accept the latter. Her heart was still beating and lungs continued to pump oxygen—dictating to her brain that she was in fact alive. If Dorcas Meadowes knew anything, it was that she wouldn’t stop fighting until her last dying breath and that wouldn’t come easily. Right now, perhaps all she needed was a boost—whether that came in the form of a night cap, a nicotine boost, or a new lead that would get her out of this dark place she was sinking further into.

That’s when a knock came suddenly outside her door.

Dorcas usually prided herself in being observant, but was taken aback when Regulus appeared in the door-frame. Her muted blue eyes scanned him briefly—taking particular interest in the papers he clung to—before gesturing for him to come closer and join her. “ Of course—it’s Regulus, right? And please, call me Dorcas. ” She said as she extended a friendly smile. Though she raised the question, she knew exactly who he was. Dorcas had met a majority of the Blacks at various points in her life, and had grown particularly fond of Andromeda and Sirius who were both very much like family to her. “ Always happy to lend an ear—how may I be of service? ”

         fighting a war would’ve been better, or at least that’s how it felt for regulus. at least in a war you know who the enemy is, who fights on each side, this, whatever this was, it was much worse. this was secrecy of the outmost level, and it was also public displays meant to terrorize innocents while wearing a mask. it was wondering if your coworker was going to be the one to aim their wand at you. it was not knowing who fought for justice and who bore the dark lord’s mark. there were spies and betrayals, and turncoats, that regulus could be sure every war had them. finding the one person he could tell about his findings went beyond them being a person he could trust. he trusted plenty, but what he needed -what he was about to ask of them, there was no doubt it could only be dorcas.

       regulus nodded and walked into her office, ❝miss ... dorcas❞ he said walking closer to her desk, ❝thank you ... i um❞ he didn’t know where to start, why hadn’t he rehearsed this? he should’ve written an outline or something, he had been prepared for everything except how to start. ❝i need you to trust me, i know you have no reason to trust me or doubt me❞ great now he was rambling, ❝and this might seem weird but uh-❞ regulus took out his wand and pointed it towards the door, casting muffliato, ❝before you arrest me you need to hear me out❞ he said rolling up his left sleeve and sitting down across from her ❝because when you go up against him❞ and this was the part that would truly make him seem mad, ❝you won’t have a chance, what do you know about horcruxes?❞ regulus asked handing her his notes.

“I could have summoned a chair,” Severus chuckled but didn’t say anything else if regards to Regulus’ choice in a seat. “Why do you think I spend more time surrounded by plants and ingredients than people?” Another chuckle escaped and he shook his head, growing quiet once Regulus started to talk. He couldn’t tell if Regulus was just needing to vent or actually looking to gain something from talking to him. Staying silent until he finished seemed like the best option. 

“You’ve got me grateful the Prince side of the family wants nothing to do with me,” He mumbled. Not that it was anything useful to add to the conversation but it had Severus thinking he may have lucked out in having grandparents that thought it best to disown his mother before she gave birth to him. There was a brief moment of hesitation where Severus glanced around to make sure there were no other patrons in need of immediate help then he stuck a bell on the counter and took a seat beside Regulus, needing a breath before he tried talking again. “Dealing with parents isn’t a specialty of mine, but it does sound like you need a break. Suppose we did something this weekend to get your mind off it?”

        ❝you are a very smart man❞ regulus said nodding at severus words, ❝i loved potions class, i wasn’t the best❞ regulus thought back bitterly to that classmate who always managed to beat him, ❝but the classroom always seemed, i don’t know, safe❞ he shrugged. regulus turned to look at severus, ever since hogwarts regulus felt like he could trust severus, for the small things and the big things. it was nice to know that severus also felt comfortable around regulus, and allowed reg to learn bits and pieces of him. ❝do you think i could’ve made it as a quidditch player? i mean if i had gone that route i would’ve been disowned, i never believed i was good enough for professional, so...❞ he let out a sigh. ❝yes let’s do something! i cannot believe you are the one suggesting it, what do you have in mind?❞ regulus asked raising an eyebrow.

            Doris had started taking the long way home after her shift ended, it gave her a chance to reflect on the day, leave her troubles behind her before she got home to her small flat. Hyde Park was her favorite, she enjoyed walking among the muggles, they were all so carefree, unaware of the horrors that were happening behind the veil of magic. She liked pretending that she belonged with them, that she two could be worry free, normal. 

She walked along the pond, admiring the ducks as they swam along, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, until she heard a voice. His voice. She would recognize it anywhere, had heard it nearly every day for the first sixteen years of her life, and nearly every night in her dreams after that. She stopped dead in her tracks, watching him with the Metamorphmagus girl, her heart beating a mile per minute. She was only a few feet away, closer than she had been in years, but not close enough. A few more steps and she could reach out to him, run her hands through his dark hair, she still remembered how soft it was. 

She was too stunned to move before he turned around and saw her standing there, just staring at him, her mouth slightly ajar. “Hey Reg.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. She spent many lonesome evenings imagining what she would do if she saw him again. Sometimes she embraced him in a friendship, sometimes she turned a cold shoulder or yelled or kissed him with all the passion she had pent up over the years. Now she could barely speak.

“Who’s this?” She asked, plastering a smile on her face, turning her attention turning towards the young girl. Please don’t be yours, she thought, she couldn’t take it if he had started a family with someone else. 

       seventeen years regulus had been on this earth, and he had spent with doris more than half of his life, at one point he had dreamed of spending the rest of his life with her. but that had been before he took the dark mark, in the days where despited the pain there was light, her light. not much time had passed since he last saw her, a couple of months, when they finished school, graduation seemed to far away, and yet they barely stopped being students a few months ago. but the last time he had talked to her? well he never truly said goodbye, just did what every confused and desperate teenager would do, avoid her. but of course doris never made anything easy, and the fallout of his decision would haunt him forever. he deserved it though, the shouts in the middle of the hallway, his back to the wall, his forearm on fire.

       he had pictured many times how it would be like to talk to her again, maybe he would’ve finally gather the courage to tell her what had happened, to explain why he had to walk away, to keep her from harm, but he knew it was nothing more than dreams, because knowing doris she would probably walk to the dark lord himself and punch him in the face for what had happened to regulus. he couldn’t tell her. he had thought about maybe running into each other, at a gala, or the coffee shoppe, he would probably say something that would made her roll her eyes, but at least regulus would get one more chance to hear her voice, see her face. he never expected it would be like this.

      ❝i- uh...❞ regulus sighed, his breath started to become labored, ❝she’s uh❞ he felt his heart racing, the one thing he had promised andromeda was that no one was to know they kept in contact, that no one would ever know he babysat dora often and now here he was about to faint. ❝dora please hold on tight to my leg❞ he said to the little girl, regulus bent down and placed his hands on his knees, ❝doris please, you can’t- you have to promise❞ he said struggling to catch his breath, ❝promise me-❞ he had anxiety attacks before, but this was new, was he about to have a heart attack? ❝you can’t tell anyone about this, about me and this child, okay? promise me❞ regulus looked at doris’ face, pleading, ❝this is nymphadora❞ regulus said feeling a tug ❝what? oh yeah sorry❞ he apologized to the girl who was pouting at him before she turned her hair pink, ❝this is dora... tonks❞ he added, ❝andromeda’s daughter.❞

        it had not been long ago that andy and ted had trusted regulus with dora out of the house. he had been babysitting for them for a long time, but outside where people might recognize him? this was new. and of course it was never to wizarding london, muggle london was safer because the people that would mind if he was seen with andromeda and ted tonk’s daughter, would be caught dead in muggle london. regulus liked the muggle park. there was always something new to do, and dora enjoyed it, so that was really all he needed. 

      regulus set dora down near the duck pond, making sure to have a firm hold on her hand -andy had mention that dora liked to sprint now, so he had to be extra careful, having had her in his arms for most of the visit. ‘duck duck’ dora said in her baby voice, ❝yes duck, do you wanna feed them? what sound does the duck make?❞ regulus asked looking down at dora, the toddler shook her head with a bright smile, ❝quack, quack❞ regulus said returning the smile, ❝can you make like a duck? qua-❞ regulus regretted the words as soon as they left his lips because dora began to transform her face, he quickly kneeled down next to her and tried to stay calm, ❝oh no dora please don’t do that❞ and when he was met with a confused face he added, ❝remember mommy said not here, okay?❞ he asked, starting to freak out, maybe it was best to just leave, he could get her some ice cream and hopefully she won’t mention the incident to andy. the little girl seemed to understand the desperation in his voice because she just nodded and returned her attention to the pond, but regulus stood up and scanned around to see if anyone had seen, he was prepared for every possibility, except staring into a very familiar face. 

             the ancient and most noble house of black

     after an argument with doris, regulus shakes off the daze he had been living in, and while he had been convinced that only by dying would he be able to atone for the things he had done, the words stop being an idiot; you don’t have to do this alone, keep ringing in his ears. he snapped out of it and went to see the one person he knew he could trust, dorcas meadowes. with her help and thus that of the order, they were able to level the game, and give the order a fighting chance. regulus was ready to spent time in azkaban, there had to be a way to make up for everything he had done, but the wizengamont failed in his favor and was kept out of prison. the dark mark on his arm a reminder of the mistakes he had made. but if he was being given a second chance at life he was going to do it right. he reconciled with doris, the love of his life, he never imagined she would take him back, and in an even more surprising twist she agreed to marry him. they had three beautiful children. @dxrispurkiss

lyra harper black; elizabeth gillies

orion preston black; ansel elgort

elara violet black; eliza scalen

           it had been hard at first, first to admit that what he had feared was true, it had taken every bit of energy left in him to wake up from the lull in which he had been living his life for years. and then to make sure he was right. he wished he had just been paranoid, but something in him had shifted when the dark lord first made an off-handed comment, and then regulus did what he did best, turn to the books. of course no matter how much reading, how much research, it meant nothing without proof. and then proof came. in the form of the dark lord belittling the life of creatures he considered inferior. when kreacher came back and told regulus what had happened, all of his emotions came back at once. he had spent his life being lost, and finally he had a purpose. it had been hard to fight the instinct of rushing to the cave, thwarting the dark lords plans, but there was a voice in his head saying it can’t be the only one. regulus needed help. but who could he trust? he had spent days making lists, sorting people, coming up with pros and cons, and finally the answer was clear.

        regulus knocked softly on the already open door, ❝miss meadows, may i have a word?❞ he said clutching the pieces of paper with his research, it was by no means organized, and charmed to burst into flame on command, least it fell on the wrong hands, but he was sure if there was one person he could trust, someone who could understand, it was dorcas meadowes.

          She could hear it in his voice, in the way it seemed to falter and hesitate. Narcissa was not quite sure what it was but it only seemed to confirm that she had been right in wanting to check in on Regulus. He did not look alright, despite the laugh and attempted joke. He was talking too much, and must have been terrified when it was all started going on. A smile got forced on her lips, the corners of her mouth quirking up in her best attempt at amusement, but it did not reach her eyes. This was not her best attempt at pretending everything was alright but then again, she did not want to pretend. Not with Regulus. Not when he seemed distressed. « Food poisoning, sure, » she conceded. And this was not the truth, but she figured Regulus knew it and needed to hear a lie instead ( needed to hear that everything was fine, even when it all had crumbled ). He was still so young, he did not deserve the weight of her own interrogations on the matter. « At the very least, that caterer will never make the same mistake again, not when it had the reach it did, » she added for good measure — To really sell the story. She slid further on the sofa and patted the space next to her. « Sit with me, will you ? It would be absolutely alright if you were not fine. The ——food poisoning was a lot. Did anything happen during the chaos ? » She wanted to say that he did not need to put up a front with her, that he could trust her, but words stay stuck in her throat for fear he might retort he did not need to trust her and could handle himself. He was so young, sometimes Narcissa forgot how much of that youth their family had taken away.

        there was no doubt that soon they will all know what had exactly caused the illness in the guests, but until then wasn’t it easier to just pretend that they had taken it too far? regulus didn’t understand why they had decided to do something so unpredictable, something so difficult to control, he worked better when it came to precision, being able to control every action for a desired outcome. this had been sloppy, purebloods had gotten hurt, and wasn’t that what they were trying to protect? it had been risky, bold. and once they figured out it had been poison the secrecy and anonymity that had protected them would be fragile, one wrong move and they would be exposed. regulus had a feeling that some members cared little about it, being exposed, people finally knowing who was behind those horrific crimes, but not regulus, not when the people he loved could be in danger because of him. he could do little but nod at narcissa words, he was going to have to talk sooner or later, or she would know something was wrong. would it be so bad if he just told her about it? he shook his head at the thought. this path he had to walk alone. regulus walked across the room and plopped down next to narcissa, it felt so comforting, like the many times as a child he had lied down with his head on her lap while she read him a story. regulus finally looked at her, he had tried to stay focus on the ground, or the wall, of the table, but he finally looked up. he was tired of lying, of hiding things, he was so tired of everything. ❝andy...❞ regulus said glancing towards the door, the last thing he needed was his mother hearing what he was about to tell narcissa, ❝she got ill❞