✕┊I R O N M A N

“Do you ever think about how red, white, and blue really don’t go together?” It’s a very clear jab at Cap’s uniform. “It’s a very clear target. It stands out against everything. May as well paint a giant target on that Dorito shaped back.”

“That thing everyone’s talking about, the thing they’re saying about me supposedly fighting someone at a party last night? Fake news. Don’t believe it. I can’t believe the amount of fake news about me these days.”

“If I remember correctly, it was a conversation just like this that led to me and my friend almost killing each other. I don’t pose a threat. You know what poses a threat? Aliens falling from the sky onto New York. Who stopped that? Was it the military? Wait, no, it was me. But okay, okay, whatever you say. At least I have cool suits.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony slumped back, arms folding across his chest. “Alright, alright. But only if you tell him to stop talking trash about everything I’ve done to help keep everyone safe.”

“He only complains about me because he doesn’t like having his ego challenged. Simple minded folk tend to do that when a genius is around.”

“So you’re not going to judge what I use as target practice?” Tony arched a brow, head tilting to the side. “Thank god, I don’t need more people getting mad at me about it.”

“Wait, hang on. I’ve seen you before. You’re married to that douchebag. The Secretary of State guy. Yeah. I knew I saw your face around before.”

“Y’know if this is going to be a lecture about how I shouldn’t be using the ‘presidents’ merchandise as target practice, then I’m not sure I wanna hear it.”